Children of the Four Blades
by Jinso Kitsune-kun
Summary: Our story begins with Aaron and his children, who are 12, and Genin. What if, when their father was away to visit someone, they began to fulfill an ancient destiny? You'll have to read. Sequel to All the Birds of Akatsuki. T for a certain religious nut.
1. Prologue

Children of the Four Blades – Prologue

The Creation of the Four Blades of Power

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><p>In the beginning of the elvish race, wars were fought as the gods watched over, and when they felt the war had gone on long enough, they decided a winner. The major gods were a union, taking a vote from all of them to decide their actions. During the war of Krasha(1), the major gods, for the first time, took sides. Illyon, Ischeranka, Kasaibi, Hakai, Kenmeinajosei, Roritekinaotoko, Tsukiotoko, Mizubi, and Shintaja all were on the side of the people of Krasha, stating that there should not be war for power. Tsumatohahaoya, Iegara, Kurai, the goddess of the stars, Churei, the god of storms, Ganshro, the god of harvest, Renda, the god of shadows, Riddolo, the god of mysteries, and Clayran, the god of the earth were on the opposing side, stating that the government of Krasha had been in power for two long. The war raged on for a century. In order to end it, Illyon, leader of the Light Sentinels(2), and Renda, leader of the Dark Rebels(3), met in the middle of the battlefield in order to establish a peace treaty. The document they forged of their blood and power read:<p>

"_As long as we, Illyon and Renda, shall exist, there shall be no interference from the gods in wars. The nations and cities of Ra'drith must learn to act out their own troubles, and to correct their mistakes. They must take their own matters in their hands, and clean the sins of their troubles. These signatures of blood and oath shall give testimony to this treaty._"

_Illyon, God of the Sun Renda, Lord of the Shadows_

Unfortunately, more wars occurred and the gods once again were forced to take sides. In the last war before Illyon was felled, Renda and Illyon both realized that war was going to recur throughout time until one victor stood above all else, who would be dead. To prevent that from happening, Renda and Illyon brought forth the leaders of their major tribes of followers, which happened to be dragons, and their battle allies. Illyon brought forth Elva, female leader of the Blinding Scaled Dragons. Renda brought forth Noctis, leader of the Dark Scaled Dragons. They traversed to a secret location, hidden from everyone but them. There, with a claw from Elva, a fang from Noctis, and a scale from Ginkaku and Kinkaku, they forged two swords of power; Bright Claw, and Void Fang, pouring their blood, souls, powers, intellect, strength, and wisdom into the blades. However, at the moment the swords were forged, a bolt of lightning leapt down from the sky and made contact with them. Both swords were split into two more, creating the Four Blades of Power; Earthen Claw, Soaring Talon, Dark Fang, and Tempest Horn. The weapons were given to Illyon to store in a secret location, where those seeking the blades would be tested, and if proven worthy, given mastery by the blades themselves. Each blade could only have one wielder from every generation. In Illyon's last fight before death, and reincarnation approximately 200 years later, he cast the four blades into the void, ensuring his enemies could not get a hold of them. Since then, many have sought the blades for power, or for justice. With the passing of each generation, the wielder's souls, abilities, and even a small piece of their essences are stored in the blade they wield, so future wielders can learn from them.

This is the story of the newest generation;

**THE CHILDREN OF THE FOUR BLADES...**

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><p>And chapter one is done!<p>

(1): One of the five major wars of Ra'drith. It was also the first war in which the gods joined.

(2): The group Illyon led into battle in the Battle of Krasha (see (1))

(3): The group Renda led into battle in the Battle of Krasha (See (1))

That's all for now! See ya next time!

**~Jinso-kun**


	2. Destiny Begins

**Children of the Four Blades-**

HEY HEY! We're back, and with chapter 2!

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><p><em>12 Years Later<em>

_Uchiha Training Grounds_

"Come on, Kagi, put your heart into it!" Aaron encouraged. He and his dark violet-haired son were sparring with his four wives and other three children looking on. Kagizdume was getting quite good at fighting, despite his age. His four children had all become Genin, and he was proud of them. Aaron punched his son very lightly, sending the boy backwards and landing on his butt.

"Come on, son, you can do it!" Aaron cried out. He was mostly used to saying the word "son" by now. Kagizdume growled. Suddenly, the boy's eyes changed to a blood red, with one black tomoe in each.

"Well, look at that! I told you that you could awaken your Sharingan if you tried hard enough!" The boy was shocked for a moment, then he focused.

"So _that's_ why everything looks so defined." Aaron nodded.

"And your training stops for today. Now that you have the Sharingan, you'll have to practice your Genjutsu with it." Aaron smiled at Te-ru.

"Te-ru's turn." The hanyou nodded happily and switched positions with Kagizdume.

"Give me your best, son." Te-ru released what was known as his "Disguise Mechanism"(1), and his two tails and ears unfurled.

"Wow, you have _two_ tails. That's great." Te-ru smiled at his father.

"Now you and I are going to practice using our demonic chakra, ok?" The hanyouy nodded. His clay-red tails were twitching with anticipation.

"Te-ru, focus on your demonic chakra. If you sense it, you should see a red haze." Te-ru closed his eyes. A red chakra cloak surrounded the boy, and his fingernails turned into claws as he got down on all fours.

"Good." Aaron did the same, getting two tails of chakra. They both charged at each other, swiping and clawing. Aaron knocked back his son and leapt away. Te-ru growled and charged once more. The two claws hit each other, and both of them leaped away.

"Good job. You've advanced far, Te-ru." Te-ru grinned proudly. They both released the demonic chakra and turned back to normal. Aaron looked up at the sky. The sky was pink and sunset was approaching.

"That stops our training for today." He said.

"I have to go meet up with some people."

"Awwww!" His children whined.

"Don't worry. I'll be back in about 3 hours, ok? You can play in the forest, but no more than 1 mile away from Konoha, got it?" He asked. They nodded.

"Great." He snapped his fingers and a purple vortex appeared beside him.

"Be back soon!" He stepped inside and disappeared. The children turned to each other.

"Should we do what Dad suggested?" Kinu asked. Kurotama blew away a strand of black hair.

"I don't see the point in going out in the forest. We'd be surrounded by nothing." He commented.

"True, but maybe Dad had a hidden meaning to that." Kagizdume told him. His mom walked over to him.

"I think your father meant for you to practice tree-climbing." Anko told them.

"What does tree-climbing have to do with anything?" Kurotama asked.

"You have to try to do it with your feet only." They looked at her confusedly.

"That isn't possible...Is it?" Te-ru asked. Anko winked and said,

"Watch." She walked over to a wall, channeled chakra to her feet, and walked straight up. They were bug-eyed.

"To walk up something with your feet, you have to have a precise amount of chakra in them; not too little, not too much." The four kids nodded.

"Now off you go." They raced to the forest.

**With Aaron's children, in the forest, 1.2 miles away, 30 minutes later**

Te-ru's head perked up, and he fell off the tree he had climbed 90% of the way up.

"Ouch!" He yelled.

"What's wrong Te-ru?" Kinu asked.

"I just got the feeling that Dad's about to kick someone's ass _really_ hard." The hanyou told them.

"Don't curse! It'll get you in trouble." Kinu scolded. She proceeded to beat him up while Kurotama and Kagizdume watched on. They both sweatdropped.

'_Jeez, she's like a second mother._' The other two thought in unison.

**1 hour, 30 minutes later**

"Almost...Yes! I got it!" Kagizdume cheered. He had made it to the top of one of the extremely tall trees in the forest.

"Wahoo!" He began jumping up and down.

"Kagi, stop jumping before you fall!" Kinu said from her own branch in another extremely tall tree.

"No way!" Kagizdume retorted. He stuck his tongue out.

"Whoa!" His foot slipped and he fell to the ground.

"Kagi!" Te-ru shouted. The three of them ran over to him. When they arrived upon where he had fallen, three shinobi came out of the bushes.

"Well, well, look what we have here: four rookies and no one else around." One of them said. The four looked at their forehead protectors. They were from Iwagakure.

"Jeez, why must you people hold a grudge?" Kagizdume asked.

"Shut up, you little shit!" Another yelled.

"Hey! Don't you speak to my brother that way!" Kinu yelled. The man raised his hand and slapped her, sending Kinu flying.

"LEAVE MY SISTER **ALONE**!" Te-ru shouted, revealing his tails and ears and growing a cloak of chakra around him.

"What the—a hanyou?" Te-ru growled and swiped at the man, clawing his face.

"You little!" The man punched Te-ru, sending him flying. Kagizdume got in front of him and activated his Sharingan. The man made the unfortunate mistake of looking into his eyes.

"Shit!" One of the remaining two cursed as the man fell to the ground.

"Katon: Gokakyu no Jutsu!" Kagizdume shouted. A fireball blew from him, but a torrent of water stopped it. The only female member of the group kneed Kagizdume in the groin and threw him away. Kurotama was the only one left. He charged them, but was kicked away.

"That was harder than I expected." The female member said.

"Let's just get the Yondaime's kid and get out of here."

**With the four children**

They had each fallen into some kind of crevice, and were now underground.

"Ughh...Where are we?"

"Kinu? You're okay?" Te-ru asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine."

"I hate people like them!" Kagizdume shouted.

"We need to find a way out of here." Kurotama told them. Suddenly, a bright light filled the area, revealing four stone sets of doors with a symbol on each. One had a tornado, one had a sun, one had a leaf, and one had a moon on it.

"_Welcome, young ones..._" An ancient voice boomed.

"_Seek you power? Or justice?_"

"Who are you?" Kinu asked.

"_I am one of the ancients; the one that guards over the Four Blades of Power..._"

"The Four Blades of Power?" Te-ru asked.

"_Yes...Go to the door which calls to you, and prove thyself worthy..._"

"Oookay, then..." Te-ru walked to the door with a leaf on it. Kinu walked to the door with a tornado on it. Kurotama walked to the one with a moon on it. And Kagizdume walked to the one with a sun on it. There was a plaque beside each door.

_In order to gain entrance, solve the riddle:_

_I am all around, and you always see me. I fill the presence of each being, but you cannot sense me. I describe all things that move and work. What am I?_

"I am all around," Kinu said.

"And you always see me." Te-ru continued.

"I fill the presence of each being," Kagizdume read.

"But you cannot sense me." Kurotama said.

"I describe—"

"All things—"

"That move and work—"

"What am I?" They all thought for a moment.

"Life?" Kinu guessed. The cavern rumbled, and the doors swung open.

"_Enter, young heroes, and fulfill your destiny..._"

**With Aaron, somewhere else** (A/N: A flashback will appear in Chapter 3)

"Why do I feel like I'm going to be proud when I get back home?"

**With the children**

They turned to each other.

"Let's meet back here when we're done, ok?" Kurotama asked. They all nodded, and went inside the door.

**With Kinu**

The room she was in was windy. It felt like she was in front of a giant fan.

"_Welcome...What is your name?_" A masculine voice asked.

"Um...Kinu."

"_Kinu...You must pass one more test if you wish to wield me..._"

"Wield you?" The voice chuckled, and a glittering sword appeared on a pedestal in the back of the room.

"_Step forward, and receive your test..._" Kinu walked up to the pedestal. The sword made her gasp. It had a silver and white hilt with a glittering amethyst in the pommel. A grey sash was tied around the bottom of the handle. In the middle of the hilt, there was a peach-colored oval, with a line through half of it. The blade was a silvery-red sort of color, and was wide where it touched the hilt, but gradually thinned into a point at the end of it.

"_Tell me, Kinu...what would you do if you had powers greater than nearly any mortal alive or dead?_" The voice asked.

"Well...I'd use it to prove that girls can be good at many things."

"_Only that?_"

"I'd also protect my precious people. With those powers, I'd protect the people I love most!" She thought of a member on her Genin team, and blushed. The oval on the sword opened, and an eye was revealed. The voice chuckled.

"_I remember how my past masters always had someone they loved..._" Kinu blushed more.

"_Grasp my handle, and you shall be my new master..._" Kinu reached out a shaky hand. The moment she touched the handle, she was filled with knowledge, wisdom, and power. It made her take a step back.

"_My name is Tempest Horn, Master Kinu. I have chosen you to be the one of your generation to wield me. I was created by Renda, lord of the shadows, to be one of the two blades that would end war, but an accident happened and I was split into two swords. I am the more fight-loving half of the mind of Noctis, he who used the be the leader of the Dark Scaled Dragons_"

"Thank you for choosing me, Tempest Horn. I am honored."

"_I see you have much respect for etiquette and manners._"

"My parents taught me that I should always be respectful and polite to anyone I meet."

"_Then they have taught you well. Though, when you wish to speak to me when others are around, please speak with your mind. You wouldn't want them to think you are crazy, would you?_"

"No I would not."

"_You are a wise girl. I am sure your father is proud of you._"

"He is. Um...is there any name you'd prefer for me to call you instead of just 'Tempest Horn'?" No one had ever asked him that.

"_My name in the language of old is Hyoshgra. I would quite like it if you called me that in front of others. But when we're communicating with our thoughts, Tempest Horn would be just fine._"

"Ok."

**With Te-ru**

The room Te-ru was in looked like a cave. It had stalactites and stalagmites all over the place.

"_Welcome, young hanyou...What might your name be?_" A female voice called out.

"My name is Te-ru, and I'm not afraid of a challenge!"

"_Strong words, Te-ru...You have one last test before you can wield me..._"

"Did you say 'wield you'?"

"_Yes...Step up to the sword and receive your challenge..._" A sword appeared in a pedestal in the back of the room. Te-ru walked up to it. The handle looked to be crafted out of pure gold and wrapped in a soil brown leather grip. The pommel was a shining emerald. The hilt was gold with a peach-colored oval in the middle. The blade was a shamrock green color and was wide at the hilt, but thinned into a point.

"_If you had mighty powers, more than all but a small of percent of the people in the world, what would you do with them?_"

"I'd show those stupid villagers that my father is not a demon, and that I'm not evil!"

"_You would use them for attention?_"

"And if those idiots ever tried to attack my family and friends, I'd fight until the Shinigami comes for my soul!"

"_You would use them to protect your loved ones? You are very deserving...Grasp my handle, and become my new master..._" Te-ru reached his hand out and the moment he touched the leather, he was filled with wisdom, power, and knowledge.

"_My name is Earthen Claw, Master Te-ru. I have chosen you as my master, and you are the only one of your generation who can wield me._"

"Um...Thanks?"

"_The thanks are all mine. It has been a while since I have had such a brave and fierce master._"

"I get that from my dad."

"_Your father must be a brave man._"

"He definitely is! My dad always helps out his friends, and he puts his life on the line for them every day!"

"_Your father is very commendable. Whenever you wish to speak to me around others, use your thoughts, and I will hear. It wouldn't really help your case if the villagers you speak of also thought you were insane._"

"Ok!"

"_I was created by Illyon, the god of the sun, to be one of the two blades that would end war, but something happened and I was split into two swords. I am the cockier half of the mind of Elva, leader of the Bright Scaled Dragons._"

"Would you like me to call you Elva, then?"

"_No. Since I am but half of Elva's mind, it would be confusing, as there is another blade that contains the other half of Elva's mind._"

"Oh. What should I call you?"

"_My name in the gods' language is Sangra. I would be content if you called me that around others, but when we communicate with our minds, you can just call me Earthen Claw._"

"Then I shall call you Sangra."

"_Thank you, Master Te-ru._"

**With Kurotama**

He was in a room that was pitch-black, even though he could see where he was going.

"_Welcome, young hero...What is your name?_" A deep, throaty voice asked.

"My name is Kurotama."

"_You seem abnormally calm. Why is that?_"

"I am always calm."

"_Always?_" Kurotama looked down.

"Not always. Around my family, I show much more emotion. But when I'm in public, I have to look impassive."

"_Why? Do you have a secret that must be kept?_"

"No. It's that people would always tease and bully me because their parents told them that my father was a demon. Or their parents would come and attack me for that, calling me a 'hell-spawn'."

"_That sounds horrible. Tell me, child, what would you do if you had great powers? Powers that the gods themselves possess?_"

"Well...I'd get people to stop calling me a hell-spawn and stop beating me up, and to make them stop calling my dad a demon."

"_You would use those powers to make them fear you?_"

"I would really just protect my family and friends. They're more important to me than life itself. I wouldn't get them to stop out of fear, though. I'd just get them to respect my abilities and me."

"_So you would use the powers to protect those precious to you? Hm..._" The voice seemed to be thinking.

"_I have decided you are worthy of being my master. You are the only one of your generation capable of wielding me._" A sword inside a pedestal appeared in the back of the room.

"Wielding you?"

"_Walk up to the sword, pure one._" Kurotama walked up to it. The sword had a silver and black handle and hilt. The pommel was a flawless onyx gemstone, and you could become lost in its murky depths just by staring at it. The hilt had a peach-colored oval in the middle of it. The blade was a dark grey which was bordering on black, and was wide at the hilt, but thinned into a sharp point.

"_Grasp my handle and become my master..._" Kurotama lightly touched the handle. He was instantly filled with wisdom, power, and knowledge that no history book could ever provide.

"_My name is Dark Fang, Master Kurotama. I have chosen you as the only one of your entire generation who can wield me._"

"Thank you, Dark Fang. I am honored that you have chosen me."

"_And I am honored to be wielded by you._"

"_I was created by Renda, lord of the shadows, to be one of the two blades that would end war. However, an accident occurred, and I was split into two blades. I am the more docile half of the mind of Noctis, leader of the Dark Scaled clan. Another blade, Tempest Horn, is the other half of me._"

"You're half of a mind?"

"_But I am fully functional._ _I must tell you this: whenever you wish to speak to me around others, please use your thoughts. It would make you position with the villagers you spoke of more difficult if they thought you were mental._"

"Thank you for telling me. It would be redundant if I always called you Dark Fang. Is there another name that is suitable for you?" Kurotama asked.

"_If you would, I would like to be called Kaega, my name in the gods' tongue. You only have to call me that around others. When we use our mental link, call me by my name in your language._"

"Kaega? I will call you that, then."

"_Thank you, Master Kurotama._"

**With Kagizdume**

"_Enter, young one...Please tell me your name..._" A feathery voice said. Kagizdume was in a room that was covered in crystals, except for the ground.

"My name is Kagizdume!"

"_You are feisty and bold; a very good quality in a person._"

"Thanks!"

"_Tell me Kagizdume, what would you do if you had powers that rivaled those of the gods?_"

"I'd protect my loved ones, of course!"

"_You would?_"

"I'd fight until my bones were dust, my lungs were squashed, and my heart exploded, just to keep my family and friends alive!"

"_You are one of the most kind-hearted souls I have ever met. You are truly capable of wielding me._"

"Wielding you?"

"_Step up to the sword..._" A sword stuck inside a pedestal appeared in the back of the room. Kagizdume walked up to it. The handle and hilt were sky-blue and white, and the pommel was a sparkling aquamarine gemstone. The blade was sapphire blue, and wide at the hilt, but thinned into a point which could make an arrow jealous.

"_Grasp my hilt, and become my new master..._" Kagizdume grabbed the handle confidently, and was filled with knowledge, power, and wisdom.

"_My name is Soaring Talon, Master Kagizdume. I have chosen you to be the only one of your generation to be my wielder._"

"Thanks!"

"_You are welcome. I was created by Illyon, the god of the sun, to be one of the two blades that would end war. However, something happened, and I was split into two blades. I am the more level-headed half of the mind of Elva, leader of the Bright Scaled Dragons._"

"Wow..."

"_Master Kagizdume, I must tell you this: If you wish to speak to me when in front of others, please use your mind. I will hear, and I will respond._"

"Ok." Kagizdume thought for a second.

"Should I call you Elva when I talk to you?" He asked.

"_I don't think you should. You see, there is another sword in these caverns which contains the other, rasher, half of my mind. If you do that, I think it would be too confusing._"

"But if you both are halves of the same mind, wouldn't you be able to tell who I'm speaking to?"

"_No. We are separate, like pieces of a puzzle, but can be put together. I should go by a different name than Elva._"

"So what should I call you?"

"_I would like to be called Psaiba, my name in the ancient language of Ra'drith._"

"Ok. I'll call you Psaiba."

"_Thank you, Master Kagizdume._"

"You don't need to call me 'Master'. Just 'Kagizdume' would be fine."

"_Are you sure?_"

"Completely. My dad and I, we both hate it that people demand respect from others just because of who they are, or what their job is."

"_Your father sounds like a good man._"

"He is. He always treats everyone with respect when they've earned it, and he always helps his friends and family. Although, he has a secret that he said he was going to tell me and my siblings when we were ready."

"_Really? I should think that no father would keep secrets from his children._"

"Well, Dad says that his secret is so important that if we told certain people, they could do something to him or us."

"_Then it's a good thing he is keeping it from you until you're ready. Though I wonder what his secret is._"

"Meh. He says that he'll tell us soon."

"_Well, for now, we should go back outside._"

"Ok."

Without knowing it, the four children each stepped outside at the same time.

**Hidden Storage Cave, Entrance**

"Hey, you guys got a sword each as well?" Te-ru asked. Each of them had a sword sheathed on their backs.

"Yeah."

"_Well this is most unusual._" Came the voice of Hyoshgra.

"Who's that?" Kagizdume asked.

"That's Hyoshgra. He's the more fight-loving half of Noctis' mind."

"Wait, what's most unusual?"

"_Each of our wielders comes from the same family. That has never happened before._" Psaiba explained.

"Really? _Never_?" Te-ru asked.

"_Not once. Funny, Fate's sense of humor; each of our wielders has a certain trait about them that goes with our names._" Kaega told them

"Really?"

"_Indeed._" Sangra voiced her agreement.

"_Master Kagizdume has a love of the sky and everything in it._" Psaiba explained.

"_Master Kinu has a voice that flows through the air like the gentle breeze._" Hyoshgra said, making Kinu blush.

"_Master Kurotama has a side that is the polar opposite of his regular self that speaks at times._" Kaega continued.

"_Master Te-ru, when he wants, can keep his emotions in a cell as sturdy as the earth._" Sangra finished. Kagizdume rubbed the back of his head as the others looked at him.

"I never really told anyone about my darker side. I kinda have a little voice in my head. He sounds a bit like myself."

"Dad said he has something like that as well. He calls his 'Inner'." There was an awkward silence.

"Wait! What about those Iwa shinobi that attacked us?" Kagizdume asked.

"We gotta catch them! They've gotta be up to no good." Te-ru said.

"_Then let us be on our way._" Kaega told them. They all suddenly found themselves energetic, and practically shaking. Kagizdume jumped onto the cavern wall, and began bounding from side to side, all the way up. The others followed.

**Konoha**

"If you wanna get to my brother, you've gotta go through me!" Rich yelled. He pulled out two Hiraishin kunai, and prepared himself. The three Iwa shinobi had regrouped and cornered him and Naruto.

"_Hey_! I can fight, ya know!" Naruto told him.

'_Kyuu-chan, can I have some chakra?_' Naruto asked his 'roommate'. Kyuubi giggled.

'_**Sure, Naruto-kun.**_' She told him. A red cloak of chakra surrounded him, and he got on all fours, his eyes slitting and turning red, his nails turning into claws, and his canines elongating.

"I don't think this is gonna be easy..." One of the male Iwa-nin commented.

"Hey, Uncle Rich! Don't start a fight without us!" Came the voice of Te-ru. The four Uchiha landed down in front of him, each having drawn their swords.

"Te-ru? Kinu? Kagi? Kuro? What are you doing here?" Rich asked.

"We got a bone to pick with these guys. They didn't exactly give us a friendly hello when we met them." Kagizdume told him. Rich grinned.

"You're outnumbered. Give up, and we might just let you live." He told the foreign ninja.

"That might be true, but you're outmatched." The other male replied, stroking his beard. (A/N: Cookies to whoever can guess which TV show I got this line from.) Te-ru laughed.

"What's so funny, brat?" The female Iwa-nin asked him.

"You think _we're_ outmatched? Oh, that is _rich_!" He said. Te-ru held his blade forward, and shouted something unintelligible in a raspy voice. His sword glowed, and a glowing figure appeared in front of him. It took the form of a woman, 5'8, with lime-green hair draping down her back. She had on battle armor, and it reminded Rich of Aaron for some reason. She had two short swords in her hands.

"_Thank you for letting me out, Master Te-ru. Now I'm able to stretch my limbs for the first time in about a century._"

"You're welcome, Sangra." His three siblings also shouted something similar to him in a raspy voice, and three more figures appeared with the glowing of their swords. One was a man with silver spiky hair, standing near Kinu at 6'0. He was dressed much like Aaron was when he fought Sasuke near Kumo about 12 years ago. He held a tall staff with a blade on the top. Another was another woman, who had short sky-blue hair, standing in front of Kagizdume at 5'7 ½. She had on robes with an arcane symbol on them. On her head was a cleric's helm. The last was a man with outer space-black hair that streamed down the sides of his face, standing in front of Kurotama at 6'1. He was wearing robes and armor underneath the robes. He held a wooden staff with a night-black blade traveling down only one side of the staff, with a gap in between the two halves that made up the blade for a grip.

"_You'll have to go through us to harm our Masters._" The four chimed.

"I don't know how the hell I'm going to explain this to your dad." Rich said with a sigh and a facepalm.

"_We can take care of that._" Kaegan told him. Rich's right eye suddenly glowed a mix of purple, gold, and red, then the colors faded.

"What was that?" Te-ru asked. Rich's eyes widened for a moment.

"That is something that has only happened once before." He told them.

"Whenever that happens, it means some tanuki balls-size shit is gonna go down in the near future." They nodded.

"How the hell did you get reinforcements?" One of the Iwa-nin shouted.

"That's for us to know, and you to die trying to find out." Kinu said boldly, glaring at them. They all got into fighting stances. Then they felt a blast of chakra the size of Hi no Kuni. Rich quickly looked to the rooftop from which it came, only to catch a glimpse of a figure as it disappeared.

"What was that?" Te-ru shouted. A sword of energy embedded itself in the ground, falling from the sky. Rich felt the chakra again and looked up. There was something high up in the sky, with the moon as its background.

"UP THERE!" Many civilians and shinobi shouted as they ran out of their homes and businesses. The figure descended down quickly, landing on the ground with a grace many had never seen.

"Surrender, unless you wish to have your lives ended with a snap of my fingers and a blink of my eye." The person said.

"_That voice..._" Sangra trailed.

"_Could it be?..._" Kaegan asked. The jet black hair...the deep voice...the immense power...

"DAD!" His four children shouted. Aaron smirked as his eyes looked back at them.

"I knew I shouldn't have left you guys alone. You always manage to get into _some_ kind of trouble." His gaze drifted to the Iwa-nin.

"You attacked my children, my best friend, and his brother...The Tsuchikage won't be happy when he hears that four of his Jonin were sent to hell..." Everyone could feel the slowly rising power coming from him.

"Be glad...You're the first people to ever see this ability and feel it." With a fluid motion, he snatched the energy sword from the earth. His Mangekyo Sharingan flashed on the blade of his sword as well as in his eyes. Suddenly, he disappeared, a phrase whispering in the wind.

"**Mangekyougan no Nanako**_..._" Seven curving strikes, all with Aaron's Mangekyo in the arcs, appeared around them, and they immediately fell to pieces. Aaron reappeared and pulsed his chakra, making the sword disappeared. He eyed the four spirits of the blades, and said,

"We need to talk." Everyone followed him back to the Uchiha Compound.

"I'm back with the kids, and there's something you should come see!" He called out as he got inside. His four wives appeared quickly.

"What is i—" Anko began to ask, but stopped as she saw the six people that weren't part of her family.

"What are Rich and Naruto doing here? And who are the other four?" Aaron sighed.

"I knew this day would come, but not in this way." He turned and looked at his kids. Emotions constantly flickered through his eyes, but his face was solid steel.

"I told you all I had a secret to tell you, and I would when you were ready. I would've thought that it would be when you reached Chunin, but the circumstances have changed," He looked at the four spirits.

"And you need to know." He let out a sigh again.

"What I'm about to tell you is probably unbelievable, and I wouldn't blame you if you thought I was insane. What I'm about to say isn't easy for most people to understand, and explaining it without first telling what it is would just confuse you. So I'll put it this way;...I'm God."

* * *

><p><strong>Mangekyougan no Nanako<strong> - **A-Rank**

Translation: **Seven Arcs of the Kaleidoscope Eye**

**Aaron makes a large blade appear and activates his Mangekyo Sharingan. Then he forces his Sharingan's chakra onto the blade, making an emblem of it appear on the blade itself. He disappears and quickly makes seven cutting arcs on the enemy/enemies, each arc with his Mangekyo Sharingan in it.**

****(1) Defense Mechanism: An ability that all hanyou and demons have that allows them to hide their tails, ears, fur, etc when they wish to. They can also release it to show their tails, ears, fur, etc.

So did you like chapter 2? I'm kind of in a rut right now...I had to rush on a test today to finish, and my dad is mad at me...How the hell was I supposed to know I could stay a little after my last period (which the test was in) and finish up? In other news, I have found out that due to a medicine I took for ADHD, I might also be bipolar. I'm 90% sure that I am, and I _have_ shown the symptoms. I've had random mood swings, which were mainly around my friends, and I usually end up pretending to or actually punching one of my friends. I hate it... But hey, what can you do when you might have a disease that doesn't have a cure yet? Luckily, he forgives me when it happens. I don't know for sure yet, but I want to visit a doctor sometime soon. With my luck, if I hope I'm not bipolar, there's an 86.8531% chance that I am... Heh... All jokes aside, this isn't really that good...If I happen to be bipolar, I'll have to take medication in addition to my ADHD and GAD (Generalized Anxiety Disorder) medicine...I'll have to take four pills a day...Heh. I'm kind of like my grandfather; he has to take four or so pills a day...

...

Well...I ask that you keep me in your prayers, and if I am bipolar...I'll have to be like Naruto. I'M GONNA SHOW FATE THAT I WON'T TAKE THAT SHIT! BELIEVE IT!

...

Woah...sudden headache...

I'll see you all soon...

**~Jinso-kun**


	3. Aaron's Flashback

Jinso: Time for the third chapter!

Kagizdume: Is my dad really 'God'?

Jinso: He's 'God' in the sense that he is the main god who rules over everyone but one person. I'm the only person that he doesn't rule over because I created him.

Kagizdume: Wow...

Te-ru: Well what the hell are we standing here for? Let him finish his story or else!

Jinso: *glares* Threaten me again, and you'll find yourself pregnant because of a gay pedophile named Orochimaru...

Te-ru: *passes out from shock and fear*

Jinso: _ANYWAYS..._let's get on with the chapter. This one is all about what Aaron did while his kids were fulfilling the first little bit of the prophecy. LET'S GIT IT _AWN_!

_Uchiha Compound, 1 hour, 30 minutes later_

"Wait, you said you were Illyon, and..." Te-ru looked at the four spirits beside them.

"That wasn't me as I am right now who did that...it was me in a past life. Though I suppose if one did something in the past, died and was reincarnated, they'd virtually be the same person."

"_Oh_..."

"Now I guess you want to know what I was doing while you got into that situation, right?" His kids nodded.

"Well..."

_FLASHBACK GUIDELINES _

(Flashback Key:

'_What's up, bitches?__'_ Thoughts

"_**OI! You snogging people!**__"_ Demon speak

{'_**Jeez, why do people always bash demons because we love blowing shit up?**__'_} Demon thoughts)

_FLASHITY-FLASH-FLASH-FLASHBACK!_

_**With Aaron, who is currently traveling through the space-time continuum**_

'_So if I had a major effect on the Naruto anime by being a part of it, I wonder if Goku would become stronger in the Dragon Ball Z anime if I interfered...And if I'm correct, he should be facing Majin Buu pretty soon...__' Aaron mused. Then he grew a grin._

'_Mind fuck time!__' He thought as another portal opened in front of him._

_**With Goku and co.**_

_Krillin, Goku, Piccolo, Gohan, Videl, Goten, Trunks, Vegeta, and 18 were flying to the World Martial Arts Tournament like in canon, when suddenly a swirling black and purple vortex appeared about 10 yards ahead of them. They were currently over an ocean._

"_This doesn't look good..." Piccolo said in his usual pessimistic tone. A figure wearing a grayish-black cowl and matching robe ghosted out of the portal._

"_Hello..." The figure said with a masculine voice, suggesting they were a male. Everyone got ready for a fight._

"_Step out of my way, fool, unless you want to be sent home crying by the prince of Saiyans!" Vegeta said in his "superior" tone. The figure chuckled._

"_I will let you be on your way soon enough, __Vegeta__, but I wish to test you first..." He said._

"_Ah, seems you know when to bow down!" The arrogant idiot explained._

"_Uh, Vegeta, I don't think it's good that he knows your name." Gohan commented. The figure's cowl shifted slightly, and Gohan could tell the person was looking in his direction._

"_Very wise, Gohan." The half-Saiyan felt a shiver creep up his spine._

"_How do you know my name?"_

"_I know all about you; how you eat; how you train; how you act; how you fight..." They were creeped out._

"_Are you some kind of stalker?"_

"_No, I'm not a stalker. I __do__ have a life." Some of them chuckled. The figure regained his cool attitude._

"_But I want to test you each in a fight. You'll be facing another enemy in the near future, and of course, he's going to be extremely strong. You need to be prepared."_

"_Oh, man. Why do we always get the hard guys?" Krillin complained._

"_I believe I might have a little something to do with it."_

"_You?" The figure chuckled._

"_Yes."_

"_Who are you?" Goku asked. The figure raised a hand, and began checking his fingernails._

"_Who am I? That's a secret for now."_

"_I bet you just want to keep it a secret because you are weak! You are a fool who is afraid to show his face!" Vegeta sneered. Two glowing red eyes with three comma marks in each appeared in the shadows of the figure's cowl. Everyone instinctively took a step back._

"_I could be. But, then again, maybe I just don't want every gorgeous woman on the planet to run to me, or at least try. I am already married, and to four different women at that."_

"_Lucky sonovabitch..." Krillin muttered. The glowing red eyes went away._

"_Heard that." The figure said._

"_You will let me see your face so I can look at your shamed expression when I defeat you!" Vegeta ordered. They seemed to sense the figure's rising annoyance._

"_I'll let you see my face after the fight. I suppose Vegeta's the one who wants to go first?" Vegeta smirked. The figure shook his head._

"_I'd like to test Gohan first." Vegeta fumed._

"_I am the Prince of Saiyans! You will fight me!"_

"_I don't give a flying fuck if you're the king of the Pole-Up-Your-Ass club," A lot of the group snickered._

"_I wish to fight Gohan." Vegeta was about to charge._

"_Vegeta, don't! We don't know what this guy can do!" Goku warned. _

"_You should listen to your friend over there. His head is on the ground while yours is burning up near the sun," Commented the cloaked man. He held out a hand, and a fireball appeared in it to prove his point. The Saiyan Prince still fumed, but backed up to let Gohan come forth. The figure seemed to stare at him._

'_I wonder what he looks like underneath that hood__.' They all thought. The figure sighed._

"_It seems you all __really__ want me to show my face." They looked at him, amazed._

"_You can read our minds?"_

"_No, but the expression on your faces is bright as day." The figure grabbed his hood gently, and pulled it back. The things they mainly took in were the dark black hair, which seemed like Goku's, the long ears, and the double colored eyes. 18 let out a gasp._

"_What?" Krillin asked._

"_She and I have met before." Then 18 let out a whistle._

"_Now what was __that__ for?" Krillin asked. She shrugged._

"_He's hot." They stared at her._

"_What? Just because I used to be an android, it doesn't mean I don't have emotions."_

"_I have been told I'm attractive." He said._

"_By who? Your mother?" Vegeta sneered. The man looked at him casually._

"_By my over 2,000 strong fanbase, my four lovers, and __your__ mother and aunt. I brought them back from the dead and we had a three-way last night." He said. Goku, Piccolo, Krillin, and Gohan were doubled over in laughter._

"_It's impossible to bring someone back from the dead except with those stupid Dragon Balls!" Vegeta yelled. Aaron turned to a little beetle near him. He reached out his hand, and the bug crawled on it._

"_See this bug?" He asked. Aaron crushed the bug in his hand and showed it to them. He closed his hand and said,_

"_Now look again." He opened his hand, and the bug flew out. They nearly jaw-dropped._

"_That enough for ya?" They nodded, except for Vegeta, who refused to answer._

"_Now I will test Gohan." They both slipped into battle stances._

"_Wait! How do you know we're going to be facing someone? And how do you know we need to be prepared?" Goku asked._

"_In order: that's a secret, and I've been in your situation before. Hell, I've saved a whole planet by myself, and unfortunately, I had to kill my father to do so." He blinked._

"_But never mind that." He looked at Gohan._

"_You can go first." Gohan bowed, then got ready._

"_This idiot must be mental if he thinks he can take on a Super Saiyan!" Vegeta thought out loud. Aaron chuckled. Gohan charged at Aaron, who made no motion to dodge. The young half-Saiyan launched his fist forward, only for it to be caught. They both exchanged multiple series of blows before gaining more distance between themselves. Aaron made a cross with his fingers, and five copies of him poofed into existence._

"_Ha! Those are merely images!" Vegeta sneered. One of the clones disappeared, reappeared in front of Vegeta, and punched him in the face. The clone went back to its original position._

"_You need to learn when to shut the fuck up and watch the magic." The fight continued. The five clones and Aaron both surrounded Gohan with unseen speed._

'_Fast!' Both father and son were thinking. They volleyballed him around before launching him into the air. Aaron reappeared and performed a reverse haymaker, sending Gohan spiraling down. Gohan righted himself, and growled._

"_Gohan, power up!" Goku told him. His son nodded, and began to roar, his power shaking the world. His hair turned golden, and his eyes turned teal._

"_Now you'll see the first level of a Saiyan's unbeatable power." Aaron turned his head to Vegeta._

"_Tch. Watch this." Aaron closed his eyes. An aura of gold grew around him, and his hair turned gold, and his eyes turned teal. Their eyes bugged._

"_Y-You're a...a..." Krillin stammered._

"_A Super Saiyan. Yes, yes I am."_

"_That shouldn't be possible!" Vegeta yelled._

"_I am part pure-blood Saiyan, part elf, part wolf, part demon, and part...well, I can't tell you the last one just yet."_

"_Demon?"_

"_Let's just say that when I was born, I had a demon sealed inside of me. I kinda merged with her power, among other things, and now I'm one-fifth demon."_

"_Her?" Vegeta yelled._

"_What? Did you think all demons were male? How else could __more__ demons be made? And how else could I have a half-demon child?" A few of them blushed and Krillin was rocketed backwards by a red waterfall. (See if you can guess what I mean. *trollface*)_

"_Oh, dear me, it seems I've yet again knocked another lecher on his dirty bum with his face stained red." Aaron said in a British accent. Everyone gave him a strange look. He laughed._

"_What? An all powerful man who could destroy time itself with a snap of his fingers and a click of his tongue can't have a little fun?" They bugged their eyes at him._

"_I can't control what thoughts someone thinks. But I can induce them, and it's even more fun when they're perverted. Though, someone I know would beat Roshi in a perving contest by a million miles." That seemed to snap the Z-Fighters out of it._

"_Really?"_

"_Yes. He proclaimed himself as a 'super-perv', and instead of just ogling or other things, he would've tried to watch sex without consent. He also peeked on women in the local hot springs almost every day to do 'research' for these perverted novels he writes. That got him quite a few sucker punches." They gawked._

"_Yeah, I almost castrated him for something else, and I threatened to wipe him from existence if any of my three boys or my daughter ever started acting like him."_

"_That guy would be Master Roshi's idol." Goku commented._

"_Believe me, the things I can do would've gotten the guy I know filthy rich." They started to think about it, but he stopped them._

"_But let's cut the chit-chat for now." He released his energy, going back to normal. The fight continued. Every blow that Gohan threw, he caught or blocked. After a few minutes, Goku shouted,_

"_Kick it up more, Gohan!" His son let out a roar of power, and went Super Saiyan 2._

"_Now see the pinnacle of Saiyan power, fool!" We all know who that was. Gohan charged forth quickly as Aaron disappeared._

"_Huh?" Aaron appeared and reappeared all around Gohan, punching and kicking. He disappeared before Gohan could punch him, and reappeared farther away._

"_How can he do that?" Goku asked, his eyes full of childish wonder. Gohan raised his hands._

"_MASENKOHAAAAAAAAAAA!" He shouted. He let forth a massive bolt of energy. Aaron simply hit the beam with a flick of his wrist, and it flew away._

"_That's enough." Gohan powered down._

"_You're very good. I can see that you still have enormous potential inside you, despite what the Grand Elder of Namek did. Keep up the training."_

"_Piccolo next." They both fought. Piccolo fired attack after attack, and tried to finish up with a Special Beam Cannon. Aaron poised his hands together and brought them back._

'_No way! Is he...?__'_

"_KINKAAAAAAAAAAMEEEEEEEEEEEEE...HAAAAAAAAAAAMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE..." Everyone stared in shock. A golden ball of light appeared in Aaron's hands._

"_HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" He fired his Kinkamehameha (Gold Turtle Defensive Wave). It completely ripped the Special Beam Cannon a new one._

"_You're very good. Be sure not to let your pride get in the way." Next he fought Krillin._

"_You're gonna really need to shape up if you want to live. Pretty soon, you all are gonna face a guy with a power level bigger than Krillin's losing streak." (A/N: OWNED!) Krillin dropped his head while the others laughed._

"_But don't worry. You are pretty good." Next was Vegeta._

"_Ready to cry?" Vegeta sneered. Aaron looked at him impassively._

"_Are you ready to piss your pants like the self-absorbed boy toy with a pole up your ass that you are?" Goku, Piccolo, and Krillin were the ones mainly holding their sides._

"_I'll show you!" Vegeta roared. He immediately powered up into a Super Saiyan._

"_Take this!" Vegeta volleyed multiple blasts of energy towards Aaron. Aaron waved his hand lazily, and a streak of energy came out and cut through the blasts._

"_Too easy." Aaron said. Vegeta roared and began another blast._

"_BIG BANG ATTACK!" The massive ball of energy went soaring towards Aaron as he turned around. As it reached him, Aaron pivoted and gave the ball of energy one hellova right hook, and it went flying. Their eyes popped out of their skull. Aaron disappeared and reappeared in front of Vegeta. He then kneed him in the groin. Vegeta squealed in a high-pitched voice. Aaron threw Vegeta back to them, and said,_

"_You're too arrogant. Get rid of your pride or the results won't be good." He looked at who was left: Goten, Trunks, Goku, Videl, and 18._

"_I don't need to test the rest of you. I know you're ready." A portal opened up beside him._

"_Um, we still don't know who you are." Krillin reminded him._

"_I am God."_

_**Back in the Naruto-verse**_

"_Achoo!"_

"_Geez man, you catchin' a cold?" Rich asked. Nagato shrugged._

_**Back with the Z-Fighters**_

"_GOD?"_

"_God. Simple as that; nothing more." Aaron turned towards the portal._

"_Wait! Can we at least know your name?" Gohan asked. Aaron chuckled._

"_I have quite a few names. But if you ever hear the name Illyon, you'll know I'm around. Oh, and by the way, Goku..." He snapped his fingers and Goku's halo disappeared._

"_See ya." The man gave a two-finger salute, and leapt into the portal._

"_That guy looked cool." Another vortex appeared and Aaron poked his head out._

"_Of course I did. I __do__ have a reputation to keep." He stuck his head back in and the vortex disappeared._

"_What was he talking about?" Trunks asked. Vegeta couldn't answer his son because he was still clutching his groin in pain. All the men in the group suddenly felt scared of when Chichi and Bulma would inevitably find out._

"_Um...you'll know when you're older, Goten..." Goku said. Another vortex appeared._

"_OH, WHAT DOES THAT IDIOT WANT NOW?" Vegeta yelled. A scroll popped out, and Gohan took it._

"_It says the guy we're going to face's name is Majin Buu. He's apparently like a giant pink blob, and is childish. He can apparently piece himself back together if anything happens." They got a little bit frightened._

"_Oh, great...Another Cell..." Krillin moaned._

"_There's also a message at the bottom. It says: 'I __**HIGHLY**__ suggest you tell everyone the truth of the Cell Games. Hercule Satan is gonna take that cover-up and run to the moon with it. Unless you want to never be known as defenders and heroes of the planet, DO IT. But let him revel in his 'victory' one more time. When he does, have someone appear there and tell everyone the truth. That is...if I don't first...I also make no promises as to the safety of his genitalia and other important parts needed for the birth of his kin._

_Yours Truly,_

_-Illyon, the guy you saw about five minutes ago'_

"_What did he mean about the 'truth of the Cell Games', and my dad 'taking that cover-up and running to the moon with it'?" Videl asked._

"_Eh...You'll learn in time." Suddenly, Trunks and Goten both widened their eyes and looked dazed. __Yet another vortex__ opened and another scroll popped out._

_It read:_

_P.S: I have erased the memories of me talking of perverts and such from the minds of Goten and Trunks, so their mothers don't find out. If they see me again, you better DAMN WELL GROW A SET and tell your wives the truth. I already have four that could beat me to a freaking pulp if I told them I spoke about perverts and sex around two children and said I DIDN'T erase their memories of that._

_MAN UP, MAGGOTS!_

_-Illyon, the guy who can erase your existence in a blink_

"_That guy is definitely God."_

_**With Aaron**_

"_Why do I feel like I'm going to be proud when I get back home?" He asked as he soared throught he space-time-continuum. When he reached another vortex, he entered it, and came out on top of a roof. He looked down to see his kids, Rich, Naruto, four people that seemed VERY familiar, and three Iwa-nin._

'_Hmm...Better not interfere just yet...__' He thought. Aaron watched as the conversation went on. When he felt the time was right, he pulsed his chakra and disappeared, but not before Rich got a glimpse of him. He then reappeared in the sky, pulsed his chakra, and descended to the earth. Aaron landed with complete grace, starting in a crouch, then elegantly drawing up into a battle stance._

"_Surrender, unless you wish to have your lives ended with a snap of my fingers and a blink of my eye."_

_FLASHBACK NO JUTSU, __**KAI!**_

He then told the rest up until then. The story was almost completely accurate. He left out certain parts, such as talking about Jiraiya, and the curses. He did tell Anko, Aaruka, Konan, and Akahana that he erased the children's memories of that.

"You went to another DIMENSION?" Te-ru yelled, excited.

"With a flick of my wrist, I could take you back in time, if I wanted." He looked at his wall clock.

"Wow, it's already 9:30. Time for bed."

"AWWW!"

"No questions. It's been a long day, and I'm sure that Iwa's gonna have a field day when word gets out about them invading Konoha yet again, which will probably be tomorrow, so go to bed." The children went to their rooms. Aaron slumped down in a chair.

"Christ, it's hard raising four children..." He said.

"Remember, _we _have to raise them too." Anko pointed out. Aaron smiled at them.

"Yeah, and that's why I'm glad you're here with me. I don't think any guy has admitted it before, but without a woman's touch on really anything, it'd be all explosions, spikes, and danger, and everything would look like a pile of elephant shit and sewage."

"Someday the kids are gonna start cursing like sailors, and you're gonna be the one to blame." Akahana told him.

"That's why I'm gonna make sure Hidan never curses around them. And if he tries to convert them, I'll kick his ass to Ra'drith and back." They giggled.

**With Kinu**

'_Master Kinu, I wish to tell you that while you sleep, I will be changing your body to be physically fit for the training you must do in order to wield me. Remember that you will the same in certain categories, such as your hair color, your skin tone, thought it will be a little bit more tan, your eyes, which will also be slightly different, and the features you inherited from your parents._'

'_Okay, Hyoshgra._' Kinu replied. The same thing was happening with the other three of Aaron's children. As they climbed into bed, each of them glowed a certain pale color, each different.

AND THERE WE GO! Chapter 3 is done! Find out how the four changed next chapter! See ya!

**~Jinso-kun**


	4. Changes and Visiting Ra'drith

HEY! Jinso's here! Let's go!

* * *

><p>Chapter 4- Changes and Other Things<p>

Kagizdume was the first to wake up. He got out of bed and went into his bathroom. The moment sleep left his eyes and he looked in the mirror, he was surprised. His normally violet hair now had streaks and flares of gold about it, contrasting the dark purple. His skin was more like a bronze than it had been before. His eyes, which were normally a royal blue, now had flecks of orange in them. His torso had increased in mass. As he had had two-pack abs before, which were the result of intense training from his father, he now had a six-pack.

"Whoa...I look cool..." He murmured.

**With Te-ru**

Te-ru got out of bed as usual like every morning, and like Kagizdume, he went to the bathroom and look in the mirror. His normally clay-red hair now had patches of mud brown. His skin was a metallic bronze, like his brother's. His eyes, red as they were, now also had radiation green flecks in them. Also like his brother, he now had a six-pack of abs.

"Awesome..."

**With Kuro**

He got out of bed, with Kaega acting like an alarm clock, only, not with the boisterous and deafening ringing that any of its kind provided, and instead with more of a mental nudge. Using the art of mimesis (basically copying one's indigenous surroundings in order to blend in), he walked to the bathroom and looked in the mirror. His jet black hair had purple streaks in it, but not so much a poisonous purple as it was a chaotic violet. His skin was an oily bronze. And Kuro's eyes, which were the same as his hair, had spots of an indigo-ish color in them. His abs had gone from two to six.

"I look so different...Is this the change Kaega told me of?"

Kinu had _changed_ the most, though. You can practically feel the italicization of the word _changed_.

**With Kinu**  
>She copycatted her brothers and walked to the bathroom. When she laid eyes upon herself, Kinu let out a gasp.<p>

Her hair, long and onyx, now had streaks of gleaming silver in it. Her skin was more fair and tan, almost as much as her brothers'. Her eyes, which were normally violet, now had drips of dark teal in the irises. Instead of getting abs, her baby fat was gone, and to take the place of it...well...let's just say that her pectoral muscles had a little bit more room in the house...And there was now two D's painted on the house instead of a B. (It's a metaphor. I'm talking like this so I don't sound like a pedo. _**WHICH I AM NOT!**_)

"Wow..." Kinu was the first to enter the hallway. She went downstairs to make herself some breakfast and found her father sitting in a chair. He looked up from a newspaper he was reading and smiled.

"Well, I'd say you and the boys' physical changes are done. Could you get them down here?" Kinu nodded, but before she turned around, a knock came at the door.

"Never mind, I'll get them. You answer the door." Kinu nodded again and went to the entrance of the compound she then opened the door, asking,

"Hello?" One of her teammates, a boy by the name of Hunter, was standing at the door.

"Hi. Um, Kinu we need to—" He tried to speak, but found that he couldn't. Hunter's red eyes drifted up and down as he looked at her. They both subconsciously blushed. (If you can't tell, Hunter is the guy she mentioned to Hyoshgra.)

"We need to what?" She asked him.

"We need to go train with sensei." Aaron then decided to poke his head out from beside the door.

"Sorry, but I need her and my sons for something important today. You're going to have to tell your sensei that she can't be there for while." Hunter dipped his head down and nodded.

"Hai, Uchiha-sama."

"There's no need to call me that. Just call me Hiroshi." Hunter nodded again.

"Kinu, can you make sure the boys are up?" Kinu went to check on her half-brothers. Aaron stepped out and closed the door behind him.

"I want to ask you something." He told the boy. Hunter began sweating profusely.

"Do you have feelings for my daughter? I saw the look in your eyes, so don't deceive me."

"Hai. When I'm around her, my heart beats faster, and my stomach churns. She's everything any boy or man could ever want. She's kind, beautiful, intelligent..." Aaron smiled as the boy prattled on and on.

"Listen to me carefully..." The Uchiha clan head said with a parental tone in his voice.

'_Jesus Christ, it's like I'm going through 'The Talk' again..._' Hunter thought.

"Since you have feelings for my daughter, I want you to know that she feels the same way..." Hunter went into Porky Pig mode.

"So you have a chance to be with her. I want you to take that chance. There is no doubt in my mind that someone will eventually try to do something to her, so I want you to protect her when you can. She can probably protect herself, though, but you're only genin, so I'm going to tell you something that will help; Whenever you are in trouble, and neither of you can protect yourselfs, use your mind to call out the words '_Onsra, onsra, leadre ae ira_'. This will allow you to do that." Aaron held out his hand as Hunter gave him a confused look. A small orb of light appeared above his palm, hovering and buzzing. The ball floated over to Hunter and absorbed itself into his chest.

"WHOA! What in the name of Kami herself was _that_!" He asked.

"That which I have given you allows you to do what I instructed." Aaron turned around and opened the door. Inside, Hunter saw Kinu, and blushed again, completely forgetting about what Aaron had given him. Unfortunately, Kagizdume was there and he saw the rosy tint on Hunter's cheeks. Kagi started laughing hard.

"Who else here sees a chapel, rose petals, and a vehicle with a bumper sticker that says "We Just Got Married, Bitches!" in his eyes?" He joked. Kinu blushed furiously and socked him. There was a Kagizdume shaped imprint in the wall. Oh, wait, that wasn't an imprint.

"Kagizdume, you know that's going to be you standing outside someone's door like that someday, right?" All the blood paled from Kagizdume's face when he stood up as Kinu grinned evilly.

"HEY! Who the hell made an imprint of MY SON in the wall!" Anko shouted. She locked onto Hunter, so to speak, and growled. Aaron held her back and whispered something in her ear. Anko immediately calmed down.

"Sorry about that." Aaron said.

"We're an..._unusual_...family...to say the least." Hunter nodded.

"My family has their mishaps as well."

"Every family does. Well, you'd best be on your way." Hunter bowed and said.

"Bye, Kinu!" She waved back.

"Now, I want you all to get your swimsuits."

"Why?" Kuro asked.

"Because we're going to one of the best places in the universe."

**30 Minutes Later**

"So where're we going, Dad?"

"We're going to planet I was born on, Ra'drith."

"Really? What's it like there?"

"Well..." Aaron held up a finger up, but paused.

"I'd have to show you. It's indescribable." He made a hand seal.

"NOW HOLD ON TO YOUR UNDERWEAR!" They all disappeared quickly.

**Ra'drith, Lake Ka'ralenshkamera (Kah-rah-len-sh-kuh-mare-uh)**

They reappeared on a grassy cliff that overlooked one of the most beautiful lakes anyone could have ever laid eyes on.

"Whooooa!" Kagizdume cried out.

"Welcome to Ra'drith, home of Lake Ka'ralenshkamera!" They gazed over the blue surface. The water was pristine, and could've been mistaken for ice had it not been warm out, and had the light breeze not rippled over the top like a stone being skipped. There was forest all around. Vines hung from the trees, and exotic plants dotted the landscape. The sky was a bright blue, with an amazingly yellow and orange sun smiling down on the planet. To put it in a simplified word, it was breath-taking. Aaron threw his clothes off, revealing black, flame-patterned swim trunks. He jumped onto a tree branch, grabbed a vine, and swung himself high in the sky. He then somersaulted, and swan-dived into the water. Anko held up a giant leaf that had a 10 on it, as did Konan, Akahana, and Aaruka. Everyone else got their swim clothes on, and dived in.

"Woohoo!" Anko shouted. They all played in the water for about an hour, and Aaron told them to get out.

"I've got something to show you guys." He said, leading them over to a small area of the forest. When he came upon a stump, Aaron swore.

"Dammit...Why do people have to do that even here? I just hope the plants got revenge..."

"Uh, dad? Why are you talking about plants getting revenge?"

"Well, you see, every plant on this planet is alive and sentient. When one plant of a certain kind dies, the others of its kind become enraged. Bite the hand that feeds you, and it shall rebuke, I suppose. They normally take revenge against people who chop down the trees, which is a plant's version of murder." He placed a hand on the stump and scowled.

"Now I'm mad...It was only a child..." He then brightened up like he had an idea.

"Watch this..." He closed his eyes, and opened his mouth. Now, what came out couldn't be described as music. Nor a tune; nor a melody. It was more of a fantasy. A gentle and fluttering sound came out of Aaron's mouth. As he sang, the stump grew and grew, until it was the size of a 'teenage' oak. The others watched with wide eyes. A branch from one of the surrounding trees touched Aaron on the shoulder. He whispered something to it, and the branch lifted. Aaron turned around.

"That was what the elves call 'Singing'. We sing the trees and plants and the life around us so that it may prosper."

"So what happened with you and the tree?" Kinu asked.

"It thanked me for restoring one of its children, and I basically said 'You're welcome'."

"Cool!"

"That's the least of it." Aaron cupped his hands around his mouth and made some kind of an animal call. A blur came zipping through the woods. When it stopped in front of him, they could clearly make it out. It was a wolf, with black, shaggy fur, and some kind of red mark that had an oval in the middle, and then two curving, comet-like marks beside it. The wolf glowed brightly, and its form molded into that of a young man. The man got on one knee and bowed his head.

"My lord." Aaron said he could get back up.

"What are you doing here, Your Highness? It is dangerous with the war going on!" the elf said.

"It's alright. I was just showing my family where I was born." Aaron turned to everyone else.

"He is what is known as a druid. They're kind of like the Aburame and the Inuzuka. Druids are trained in the arts of Nature magic, and when they have reached a certain level of skill, can actually change their form in that of any animal's." The elf semi-smiled at Aaron's understanding.

"Sorry to make you worry. We have to go now." Aaron said goodbye to the druid, and teleported them back. But not before walking over to an group of exotic-looking plants, whispering something, and then gently receiving two flowers.

**Back in the Uchiha Compound**

"Hey dad? Why'd you grab those flowers?" Te-ru asked.

"No particular reason." Aaron said quickly as his mind drifted to his mother.

"Come on, dad, can't you—"

"Nope. Now you guys have to go to training." The kids grumbled, but went off.

**Te-ru's POV**

Te-ru was currently walking down the streets, confused.

"Man, why didn't he tell me what those flowers were for?" The redhead hanyou asked as he moved along.

"_I think he got those flowers to pay his respects to someone dear. You know of Kakashi Hatake, as I saw from your memories, correct?_"

'_Yeah? So what?_'

"_Every day, Kakashi goes to the Memorial Stone and 'talks' to his dead teammates, Obito Uchiha and a girl named Rin._"

'_Oh, so dad wanted to visit someone at the stone?_'

"_I would think so._" Te-ru was brought out of his musings by a shout.

"Hey, freak!" A kid called out. Te-ru turned with a scowl to three boys that were standing a few yards away.

"What the hell do you want now, Fushi?" Te-ru asked in a lazy tone.

"Where'd you get that sword?"

"Why does it matter? It won't let you wield it anyways." He retorted. Fushi scowled and activated his Byakugan. Yes, Fushi was a Hyūga. And now that you know he's a Hyūga, who practically all have sticks up their asses (note I said PRACTICALLY), you know how this is gonna go.

"You're gonna give me that sword or else. A freak like you doesn't deserve to wield it!" Te-ru facepalmed.

"Look, I don't have the time to deal with you. Go take your boytoys and molest them somewhere else." He said, shooing them off with his hand and walking away.

"Shut the fuck up! A dobe like you doesn't deserve to lick the ground I walk on until it's clean!"

*******PLEASE EXCUSE THE INTERRUPTION. WE ARE TAKING A SHORT INTERMISSION FOR A LITTLE CHAT BETWEEN SAUCE-UKE AND THE AUTHOR.*******

Me: Sound familiar?

Sasuke: Oh shut the fuck up! I only called him dobe because he was like that for a while! And whoever called me "Sauce-Uke", SHUT THE FUCK UP! *says this while pointing at the sky*

Me:...*blink*...*blink*...Wow. How OOC was THAT?

Sasuke: Asshole.*tries to start brooding*

Naruto: *butts in* Teme!

Sasuke: Dobe.

Me: Uke.

Sasuke: Dick.

Me: At least I _have_ one, "Broody the Eunuch".

Naruto: *falls over laughing*...*gets back up* Wait, what's a eunuch?

Me: *goes over to Naruto and whispers in his ear*

Naruto: Oh.

Sasuke: Baka.

Naruto: Emo.

Sasuke: Talentless.

Me: Annoying, arrogant, jutsu-stealing jerk with a stick up his ass.

Sasuke: Dammit...

Naruto: That's what she said!

Me: *stares*

Sasuke: *stares*

Naruto: What?

Me: Naruto...no. Just..._no_.

*******WE ARE NOW CONTINUING CHAPTER FOUR OF COFB. **_**YOU DIDN'T SEE ANYTHING!**_*****

"You honestly think I give a damn whether or not you're a Hyuga? I'm an Uchiha, so we're practically the same."

"We are not the same! You're underneath me, dobe! I'm better in Taijutsu, Ninjutsu, and Kenjutsu! Plus, I don't have a demon whore for a mother!" Te-ru was again walking, but immediately stopped in place. He didn't care if someone insulted his skills. But when they attacked his mother, they were f**ked.

"First off, I'm pretty sure I'm better in Kenjutsu. Second, _what did you say?_" He growled.

"I said, at least _I_ don't have a demon _whore_ for a mother!" Te-ru nearled jumped at the boy, but remembered what his father told him. '_Payback can always wait until the enemy has gone past the line of no return._' So far, Fushi hadn't gone past the line, but he was dangerously close. He took in a few deep breaths.

"Fushi, if you ever speak that way about my mother again, I'll effectively cripple you and remove you from the Shinobi Forces myself, got it?" Without letting Fushi answer in a flustered rage, he walked off.

**Kinu's POV**

She walked down the streets as many people stared when she walked by. Why wouldn't they? She almost immediately ran in Hunter and the rest of her team after buying an apple.

"Oh, hey guys!" She greeted.

"You're back? I thought your family had something to do today?" Hunter asked.

"We did, but I just got back."

"Well, that's good. Now we can continue. We're searching for Tora."

"Oh, jeez. That cat again? Troublesome..."

"Yeah, what a drag..."

"Wait, why are we talking like a bunch of lazy bums?"

"I don't know."

**Nara Clan Compound House**

Everyone single male simultaneously sneezed.

'_Troublesome..._'

**Back with the Genin**

"Well, if we want to catch that hell-spawn, we'd better get a move on." Hunter said. Kinu cringed at the words 'hell-spawn'. Her half brother Te-ru had been called that many times before. With a sigh, she left with her team.

**With Aaron**

He walked to his mother's grave at the Uchiha compound.

"Hey, mom. It's me...How ya doing?" Aaron sighed as he sat down.

"Look at that, your little boy's all grown up now...I just wish you could've been there at my wedding. And that dad could've been there as well...Well, no use crying over the past...I just wish you two could be here with me..." A light bulb suddenly shined dimly above Aaron's head. He looked up, scowled, and punched it, breaking it into pieces. He then facepalmed.

"What am I saying? You could be here with me right now!" He drew a seal on the ground in front of her grave, and channeled spiritual energy into it. A shining outline of a woman appeared, then grew forme and turned into Mikoto Uchiha.

"Wha...Where am I?" She looked at Aaron, and suddenly burst into tears, running over to hug him.

"It's ok, mom. You're back now, and that's all that matters."

"How did you do this?"

"I found out about my powers 12 years ago. Since then, I've been helping people as much as I can." He hugged her tightly, and then said,

"I've also decided to give Dad a second chance. Everybody deserves one, even him." Mikoto nodded as she wiped up her tears. He focused his energy once more, and the shining outline of a man appeared this time. It also changed, this time to look like Bracxious.

"How am I alive?" He looked at Aaron, and then got down on his knees.

"My son, I am so sorry for the way I was. I nearly killed you, and this world, all for revenge. Please forgive me."

"Come on, dad, no need to cry. We all have our moments sometimes. Besides, now we can start finally living as a family." Bracxious got up, and hugged his son.

"Mom, I also got these flowers for you." He handed the pair to her.

"They're beautiful." She accepted them and wiped up her tears.

"But, how are you changed, Bracxious?" Bracxious smiled at his family.

"I was sitting in the 9th Circle of Hell, wondering why I had to be condemned to my fate. Everything that was in my past floated through my mind. Then I came upon Alren. It was an image of him saying he forgave. But He hadn't said that in the past, because I hadn't done anything to him. I found my mind clear of the dark haze of insanity. Then I appeared here." Mikoto nodded, and Aaron grinned.

"I placed that image in your mind, dad. I did that because I knew it would help you." The three just walked off to begin anew.

**With Kinu's Team, 5:00PM**

Her entire team and her sensei were all scratched up from Tora's attacks. They walked towards the Hokage Tower with the little cat struggling inside a sack held over Hunter's shoulder. Why did that cat have to always run away? Well, there is the fact that his owner's wife practically strangled him every day.

"Dear lord, someone should get that cat a new owner." Momo, Kinu's other teammate said.

"I know. I can actually empathize with him on a certain level. My mom always hugs me in a chokehold when I get home from training." Hunter commented.

"But at least she doesn't do it enough for you to want to run away." Kinu replied.

"Yeah. I pity Tora." Momo agreed. She kept looking back at the sack every now and then. Tora let out a whimpering meow saying he agreed as well. The entire time they had been talking, the walk to the Hokage Tower was completed. As they got in, the receptionist scowled at Kinu, just because she was Aaron's daughter. Kinu flipped back her hair and didn't even bother to look at the woman. When they got in, the Daimyo's wife squealed and quickly grabbed Tora out of the sack, crushing the little cat in her arms.

"Ma'am..." Kinu said. The Daimyo's wife just ignored her and continued smothering the cat.

"Ma'am?" She tried again. Still no response.

"MA'AM!" Kinu shouted. Everyone was startled at her shout.

"Tora doesn't like that..."

"Kinu, don't talk to the Daimyo's wife that way." Her sensei scolded.

"But he doesn't like that. He kept asking me to tell her that when we got here."

"You talked to Tora?" Momo asked.

"Didn't you hear the constant back-and-forth meowing?"

"Yeah, but I thought that was another cat. How can you talk to Tora?"

"My dad could always talk to animals, and so can I and my brothers."

"You've always been able to do this?"

"Yep, since day 1."

"So how does my Tora _like_ to be pet, hmm, little missy?" The Daimyo's wife asked, pursing her lips. Kinu knelt down. The little cat leapt out of her arms and went over to Kinu. Kinu began lightly stroking Tora's back, making him purr loud enough for everyone to hear. They stared as Tora became docile almost immediately. She handed Tora over to the Daimyo's wife.

"Like that." The Daimyo's wife nodded, and Tsunade handed over their pay.

"See you, guys!" Kinu walked off with her share of the pay.

**Uchiha Compound**

"So this is the compound, as usual..." Aaron was showing the home to his parents when Itachi walked in.

"Damn, it's hard being a sensei..." He mumbled as he moved around, and then looked up at the three. His eyes widened when they got to his mom.

"Damn Mangekyo, it's making me see things..." He said.

"Nope. It's real. Mom's alive." Itachi gawped, then shut up at the sight of his raging mom.

"Mom, I can explain..."

"YOU BETTER **DAMN** WELL EXPLAIN WHY YOU KILLED ME AND THE REST OF OUR CLAN, **MISTER**!" Itachi gulped, and nodded.

"W-W-Well..." Itachi then explained the whole reason behind the massacre. Mikoto nodded once the explanation was over, and Aaron said,

"This village is just fucked up." Then Kin walked in.

"Hey, Dad, hey Uncle Itachi. Who're they?" She asked.

"Mom, Dad, I would like you to meet one of your four grandchildren, Kinu." Mikoto jaw-dropped.

"FOUR?"

"Yeah, well...it's kinda the CRA, and..." Aaron couldn't speak as he was enveloped in a bone-splintering hug from Mikoto.

"My little baby is restoring the clan! I'M SO PROUD!" The rest of the people in the room sweat-dropped as Aaron struggled to breathe.

* * *

><p>So did you lieks it? This gave a look into Aaron's homeworld, and what daily life was like for his family. Also, HIS PARENTS ARE <span>ALIIIIIIIIIIIVE<span> AGAIN! WHOOPEE! See ya next time!

**~Jinso-kun**


	5. It's Christmas! CELEBRATE!

HEY GUYS! It's time for an obligatory COFB Christmas chapter! YAYYYYYY! This time, Aaron's gonna go back to the—

*slaps hand over own mouth*

Whoops! Almost told ya what was gonna happen! But I _didn't_, so you'll have to find out by reading!

*crowd 'Awww...'s*

DON'T GIVE ME ANY OF THAT BOVINE FECAL MATTER, MAGGOTS! NOW GET YOUR ASSES IN THOSE COMPUTER CHAIRS AND START READING, DAMMIT!

*ahem*

On with the chapter!

Chapter 5: It's Christmas! CELEBRATE!

Once Mikoto had let go of Aaron, and he caught his breath, the raven-haired elf said,

"Well, if you'll excuse me, I must go hunt down a free-loader in another dimension." Curtly and quietly, he snapped his fingers to make a vortex appear. Aaron then ghosted into it, but not before donning a cloak that appeared out of thin air.

"Why is he wearing a cloak?" Bracxious asked.

"Hiroshi-nii loves freaking people out to see their reactions." Itachi started stroking his chin.

"I can imagine that that's one of the only ways he survived Anko's pregnancy. They're both sadists to a certain extent."

**DBZ Universe**

"Yeah! It is I, Hercule Satan, World Champion! YEAH!" Mr. Satan shouted. There was a parade going through the streets of West City, and he was standing on a float.

"YEAH! Who beat Cell?" Before the crowd could answer, a lone voice called out.

"Certainly not you." It said. The eyes of every person, along with the cameras, focused on the top of a building where Aaron stood, wearing the Mind Fuck Cloak©(1).

"You lie! You're just jealous!" Someone in the crowd shouted. The Z-Fighters, along with Videl, had arrived just in time to hear the cloaked figure talk.

"Hey! It's that guy!" Goku pointed out.

"That's obvious, Kakarot." Vegeta mumbled, still angry that 'that guy' had beaten him with ease.

"Um...what was his name again?" Gohan asked.

"Isaac? No... Jacob? No..." Goku continued thinking of names.

"Celery? No... Pineapple? No... Prime Rib? No..." Everyone sweat-dropped.

"Now you're just naming foods..." Gohan deadpanned.

"Wasn't his name 'Illyon'?" Krillin asked.

"Oh yeah, it was!" They all focused back on Aaron.

"You think I'm jealous? HA! I've got more power in one eye than he has in his whole body! Why would anyone be jealous of a moron who takes others' credit for stopping an alien life-form who could destroy this planet if he wanted?"

"I-I'm not taking false credit! I b-bet I could beat you with one hand tied behind my back!" The robed person chuckled.

"O rly? I could beat you with my sight and hearing gone."

"I'm not afraid of you! Come down here and fight me! I'm the world champ!" The person grinned, baring actual fangs, as those three-tomoed eyes appeared once more in the black shadows of their hood.

"Titles are but nothing in the eyes of God."

"You're not God! You're a poser! Come here and say that to my face!" Hercule yelled.

"Is that a challenge?" They asked.

"You bet it is! No one can beat the world champ!" The figure's grin grew more evil and sinister.

"Challenge accepted." They leapt high into the air as the red eyes faded; the sun seeming to be right above them, then plummeted down as the crowd of people spread out. The man landed perfectly in the middle of the open space, and on one leg to boot, not harming a single part of their body. The crowd nearly fainted. The red eyes appeared once more. Only the demonic eyes and the sharp fangs were visible underneath the cloak.

"Where I was born, if you ever stole what rightfully belonged to someone, like an heirloom or even credit, you could choose your punishment; but it would be a terrible one no matter what."

"If you choose to tell the truth, the worst you will receive is a broken ankle. However, should you choose to stay a soothsayer and hide within your lies," The glow in the eyes seemed to intensify.

"With these eyes, I could break your mind like a twig." They held out a hand.

"With this hand, I could snap every bone in your body." They bared a fang.

"With my voice, I could banish you to hell." They pointed a finger.

"With this finger, I could strike a point on your body that would cause death, but after tremendous pain; one of thirteen." The person touched the minds of everyone at the parade, including the Z-Fighters.

'_Or with my mind, I could make your worst nightmares become your life._' The connection faded.

"Which will it be? Will you tell the truth and suffer minimal punishment; or will you still lie and be doomed to suffering?" The figure folded their arms.

"I want to know who you are first! You're probably just someone with no life who's jealous of how awesome I am!" The figure laughed heartily.

"Me? With no life? Oh, that's rich! If _I_ had no life, none of _you_ would either! In fact, _nothing_ would! _Existence_ would not exist! Speaking of Rich, I wonder if I should take him with me the next time I travel to other dimensions..." The person began talking to themselves for a while, with everyone staring at him like he was insane.

"Hey! I'm still here you know!" Hercule yelled. The figure seemed to have been looking down, and then its cowl lifted up, indicating that it was staring at him.

"Oh, I'm terribly sorry. You were quite boring, though. The way you talk is like hearing a teacher drone on and on about a subject which no one gives a care about. The only reason you still exist is because you amuse me, if only slightly." Everyone felt the urge to run for cover.

"But I digress; we must continue. I sense you choose the second option...Very well...I'll let you see with your deceiving eyes what I look like, but you'll run away at the sight of me if you ever see me again..." Aaron grabbed the side of his cloak and tossed it away.

He wore black shinobi sandals that were like a knight's shoes on his feet. Climbing up his legs were a pair of pants almost exactly like Sasuke's after Orochimaru died in the anime, except his were black and gold. Aaron wore a white shirt, again like Sasuke's after Oro died, which showed off a little bit of his chest, of course, sending a bit of the local fangirl populace's minds into overload. At the right side of his hip was a scabbard, with his family katana inside it, and the Uchiha crest on the handle.

**Naruto-verse**

"Hey, mom, where's the family katana?"

"I think Hiroshi had it the last time I saw it, Itachi."

**DBZ-verse**

The Sword of Truths was sheathed on his back, with the strap laying diagonal across his chest.

"Now tell me, Satan-san, can you fly?"

"Fly? Uh, no...I can't..." Aaron smirked.

"Then perhaps you are in need of some lessons." Almost instantly, Aaron appeared in front of Hercule, landing a shattering uppercut on his jaw. The idiot went flying high up in the air. Our hero then disappeared and reappeared right in front of the peak of Satan's arc, catching him.

"Lesson 1: Try to FOCUS!" He grunted out the last word as he slammed Hercule into the road. He picked Hercule up by the back of his shirt.

"Lesson 2: Have a BRAIN!" Aaron yelled out the final word as he kicked Satan back onto his float. Hercule got up, right as Aaron appeared behind him with his katana pressed against his neck.

"Lesson 3: Don't get cocky. It'll kill you." He p his katana away and reappeared in front of a small building, which had 6 wooden pegs sticking out of it at varying heights. He jumped onto the first peg, then leaped to the second before getting to the third, then the fourth, and then the fifth, which was right in front of the sixth, only it was smaller than the latter. Aaron finally back-flipped onto the sixth peg, landing on his left leg, with his right bent.

"Now then...do you yield, or will I be forced to do worse?"

"Y-You're toying with me, aren't you?"

"_Wow_, and it took you _that long_ just to figure that out? Gee, I thought you were dumber than that." He reappeared right in front of Hercule and stretched his hand out, with a green glow spreading across his hand from his fingertips. Immediately, Hercule got up.

"Sir, h-how did you do that?" A cameraman asked.

"How did I do that?" Aaron mocked as he chuckled. A punch from Hercule came at him, but he caught it without even looking.

"I will never tell." He then said in a serious voice. Aaron focused back on Hercule, activating his Mangekyo Sharingan.

"Surrender, and you won't be harmed anymore."

"No way! I have a title to defend." Aaron's laugh bellowed deeply from his throat.

"Fine then...**TSUKUYOMI**!" He looked Hercule in the eye.

**Aaron's Tsukuyomi**

"Welcome to the world of the Tsukuyomi, where I am in complete control." Aaron announced. Hercule was tied to a cross, and Aaron was standing across from him, holding a katana.

"This is just an illusion! You aren't really going to stab me, are you?" The once proud "world champ" asked.

"Yes, this is an illusion. But though an illusion it may be, the pain you are going to experience will be real. I am not going to cripple your mind, but I am going to give you enough pain to serve as a lesson." With that, Aaron stabbed his katana into Hercule's left leg.

"For the next thirty minutes, you are going to be tortured, but I will heal your mind after." And so it began.

**Real World**

Hercule immediately collapsed . Aaron stretched his hand over Hercule, and a green glow appeared once more. Then he jumped back to where he had originally been on the street, and put his cloak back on.

"If you want to know who really saved the day and beat Cell..." He snapped his fingers and Gohan appeared right next to him.

"It's this young man." He snapped his fingers again and the rest of the Z-Fighters (and Videl) appeared around Gohan.

"Good day." Aaron disappeared in a flash of light.

Everyone was silent for a moment before someone random said,

"Da fuck just went on?"

**Uchiha Compound**

"So, you're my grandma?" Kinu asked. Mikoto nodded.

"Great!" She moved to hug her grandma, but suddenly Aaron appeared right in the middle of the table they were at.

"WAAAHH!" Kinu and Mikoto cried out as they both fell to the floor.

"Hey!" Aaron said as he waved.

"Dad, WHAT THE HELL?" Kinu yelled at him.

"Sorry! I just randomly transported to somewhere inside the compound. I didn't think I'd end up right in front of you!" Kinu huffed.

"Alright. You're safe."

"But anyways, shouldn't we be setting out Christmas decorations?" Mikoto's eyes widened.

"Crap, you're right; I completely forgot that it's Christmas!" she slapped her forehead.

"Don't worry, we've got it covered!" Bracxious said from the other room. They all ran into the living room to see a grand Christmas tree towering above all else in the room. Hung on it were gleaming ornaments, sparkling gold and silver tinsel, and underneath the tree were a couple of presents; the rest had yet to be bought.

"Wow, it's amazing, Dad!" Aaron exclaimed as his black eyes filled with a childish sort of glee.

"Where did you get it?" Mikoto asked. Bracxious scratched the back of his head.

"I kinda kept it from before I went all...you know, Cuckoo, Cuckoo..."

"Well, that's great!"

"Now we just need to gather everyone in the family here!"

**DBZ Universe**

"Hey, Chichi, we're back!" Goku said as he walked in the front door of his house.

"Goku! Why weren't you here? Someone broke into the house and left things under the Christmas tree!"

"What?" Goku walked over to Christmas tree, and everyone who had been at the parade with him did the same as well. Goku quickly checked all the presents.

"Hey, they're all from that Illyon guy!"

"Who's 'that Illyon guy'?" Chichi asked/yelled.

"He's this guy we met who helped us prepare for battling someone named Majin Buu, and we saw him again at the Mr. Satan parade, where he gave Gohan the credit he deserved for beating Cell!"

"Well, he sounds like a wonderful man!"

"He is! Though, he's a little weird at times. He keeps appearing from these portals every time we meet him," Goku was interrupted as one of said portals appeared and Aaron ghosted out of it.

"Like this." Everyone stopped and stared at him.

"I was hoping to get your attention. How am I doin' so far?"

"You got it alright." Aaron nodded. He wasn't wearing a cloak this time.

"Well, I just thought I'd drop by and tell you that I got a present for everyone, and I mean _everyone_. But now I gotta dash. Big Red's gonna need some help delivering presents tonight."

"Big Red?"

"Santa Claus, who else?" He gave them a salute and leapt back into the portal.

**Uchiha Compound**

"Ok, we have everyone here except for Hiroshi-nii." Itachi said as he looked around the living room. On cue, Aaron appeared with a stack of presents in his hands.

"Got all the presents, and everyone's here. Everyone needs to get to bed so I can help Santa deliver the rest of the world's presents." Aaron announced.

"'Cuz remember...tomorrow morning, people...10:00 AM, Santa's comin' to tow—"

"SANTA! OH MY GAWD!" Sasuke suddenly cried out.

"Santa's here? I know him...I _know_ him..." He continued as he held up a picture of him at the age of five, reaching out for a mall Santa.

"O...kay then." Aaron said as everyone sweatdropped except for Sasuke.

"Now get to bed!" Everyone scrambled off to prepare. Aaron set the family's presents down.

"Now to find Santa." He closed his eyes, then grinned.

"Found you, old man." Aaron disappeared.

**Somewhere over Suna**

"On Dasher, on Dancer!" the jolly old fat man shouted.

"Ho, ho, ho!"

"Still going at it, eh, Big Red?" A voice said from beside him in his sleigh. Santa turned to see Aaron kicking back with his hands behind his head.

"Ho, ho, ho! Merry Christmas, Illyon!"

"A very merry Christmas to you, too. Mind if I help deliver some of the presents?"

"Not at all! Go right ahead! Do you need any of my chakra to help?" The bearded saint replied.

"No thanks. I've got enough energy." Aaron levitated half of the presents in the air and disappeared.

"Ho, ho, ho!"

**9:00 AM, 12 hours later**

"Mom, Dad, Santa came! He came!" Te-ru shouted as he, his brothers, and Kinu all vaulted over the railing and landed down in front of the tree.

**Aaron's room**

Aaron smacked his lips as he woke up.

"Damn...remind me not to give Rudolph sake EVER again..." He held his throbbing head as Anko came up to him.

"What happened last night?"

"I gave Rudolph sake, and he kicked me in the head."

"How'd a REINDEER kick your ass?" Aaruka asked him with a giggle.

"He's a master of the animal style of the Drunken Fist."

"So he's basically the animal form of Rock Lee after he drinks some of Gai's 'elixer'?" Akahana questioned.

"That about sums it up. But let's go into the living room; the kids are waiting." They all walked out and to the kids.

**DBZ Universe**

"Hey, Chichi, why don't we take a look at the presents Illyon gave us!"

"Okay, Goku." Chichi said, having one of her rare quiet moments because of an eggnog hangover.

**SHORT INTERMISSION**

Aaron: How the hell is it possible to get a hangover from eggnog? It's not even alcoholic.

Me: This is my story, so I do whatever the fuck I want with it. BACK DOO DA STOREH!

***robot voice* INTERMISSION OVER...BITCHES!**

Goku got everyone to come to his house, and they found a note beside all of the presents from Aaron.

'_Hey guys, it's Illyon. I thought I'd leave you all some Christmas presents, just in the spirit of the season. So...on with the gifts! For Gohan, I've left a technique he can use to learn material for school, and still train with his dad at the same time._'

Chichi let out a massive squeal at the mention of such a thing when Gohan opened a box that contained a scroll.

"Kage Bunshin no Jutsu...Sounds cool!"

'_For Goku, I've left the same technique so he can have his clones eat many foods, and he can see how they all taste without getting filled up._'

Goku cheered after opening his package.

'_For Piccolo, I've left some genuine Namekian warrior armor from back in the old days, so he can look cool in battle while knowing a bit of his heritage._'

Piccolo grinned happily; a rare sight to see, as he opened a large box. The armor inside was purple and orange, like his regular clothing, but it was all metal, and he could move freely in it.

'_For Krillin, I've left some more 'flashy' and 'bang-boom' style attacks he can learn so he can get some more fans._'

Krillin blushed as everyone laughed.

'_For Vegeta, I've left a book titled "The Guide to Unlocking Your Inner Potential", written by yours truly_(2)_._'

Vegeta nodded in acknowledgement.

'_For Chichi, I've left a book titled "How to Whip Your Husband Into Shape", which I am sad to say for Goku, was written by my more sadistic wife_(3)_._'

Chichi let out another squeal and all the guys pitied Goku when they heard that.

'_For Bulma, I've left some ideas for Capsule vehicles that she can have full credit for, plus instructions on how to remake them the way she wants._'

Bulma cheered.

'_For Trunks, I've left some new training armor that adjusts to any size It also has gravity seals, which I've left instructions on how to set for training. It fits any person._'

Trunks pumped his fist in the air.

'_For Goten, I've left a second set of training armor, like Trunks'. It has the same seals on it and again comes with instructions on how to set them._'

Goten cheered like his father.

'_For Videl, I've left a book written by my more calm wife, which I don't really know what it's called, but she said it would be useful for girls around your age._' (He means Akahana)

Videl raised an eyebrow as she opened a package that contained a book titled "How to Find the Right Guy".

'_So that's all that presents! Merry Christmas!_'

**Naruto-verse, Uchiha Compound**

"So Te-ru, what'd you get?" Aaron asked as his hanyou son used his claws to rip open a present.

"AWESOME! I got a set of Fuma Shuriken!" Akahana gave Aaron a glance.

"Relax, he's not allowed to use them in the house." Te-ru frowned, but nodded. Kinu opened a present from Santa.

"OH MY GOD! *extremely long squeal* It's just what I wanted: A My Little Kunoichi Doll©!"

"Did anyone else just feel the air suddenly fill with estrogen?" Kurotama joked. Aaron started laughing.

"That's a good one, Kuro!" Kurotama proceeded to open a gift from Aaruka as Aaron went to get some coffee.

"Sweet, I got a practice katana." Aaron poked his head in from the kitchen to see Kuro holding a bamboo katana.

"I plan on teaching you Kenjutsu sometime, so learn up." He advised. Aaron then walked back in with a mug that said "I can't hear you over the sound of my AWESOMENESS", filled with coffee.

"Kagizdume, why don't you open your gift from mom and dad?"

"Okay!" Kagi grabbed a large present with his name on it, and ripped the wrapping a new one.

"I got a...what is this?" He was holding a strange weapon. It looked like a hand, but clawed, and made of metal.

"It's called a Tekko-kagi, which means 'Hand Claws' (3). It's a weapon used like a claw, and can be used for offense, or other purposes. I thought it would fit because your name is Kagizdume, which can mean talon, or it can mean claw."

"COOL!"

"That it is. Let's open some more presents!"

**Author: And so began yet another day of festive cheer for Aaron's family and many others around the world, and even in other universes. As I am reading this, I ask that you not try to find out my phone number unless you are a girl, because I hit my head on every branch while falling from the heterosexual tree. So hear me when I say to you, on this day, Merry Christmas to you all, and no, I'm not gay!**

So that was the chapter! I hope you all liked this Christmas special, and I'm sorry for this being 3 days late, but I had a lot of errands and such to run. I got an Ipod Touch for Christmas, and I've already spent about 30 bucks on apps and songs! Ipod Touches are AWESOME! Also, some notes:

(1): The Mind Fuck Cloak© is a registered trademark of Jinso Inc., and has been patented by Hiroshi Uchiha.

(2): Yes, Aaron has written a book on training. In fact, it has become the 2nd best seller in the Elemental Nations, second only to the Icha Icha series.

(3): Yes, Anko has also written a book. She began the manuscript for it about a week after she and Aaron were officially married, which was also a month after all of Aaron's children were born, and the same day Aaron married each of his wives.

Akahana has written a book as well. Seeing as how she was about 3,569 years old, she decided to write a guide for young women on finding the right lover, in order to lessen the number of abuses and other things. It has become the 5th most popular seller in Hi no Kuni and the 2nd best seller in Tsuchi no Kuni.

Well, Merry Christmas, everyone! See you next time!

**~Jinso-kun**


	6. Christmas Chivalry

HEY HEY! I'm back! Happy New Year, and now Jinso's here, so you better cheer!

*WOO!*

Alright, today, some other people are gonna get some Christmas presents from Aaron, so let's get started!

Chapter 6- Christmas Chivalry

As his children laughed, and he watched on with glee, Aaron thought of those without a tree, without lights, and without a home, stuck all alone in the snow.

'_There's a lot of people out there who aren't having fun. Today, for them, there's no shine for their sun. *record scratch* Wait, why am I speaking like a Dr. Seuss book? Meh, f*ck it._'

"I'm going out for almost the rest of the day. There's still presents to deliver." Aaron said as he got up and he placed his mug down.

"Where're you going?" Kinu asked.

"To visit the less fortunate." With that, Aaron went out the door and out into the world.

**Konoha Orphanage**

Some random clerk, who I'm not going to bother naming because I'm a lazy douche and for the sake of plot convenience, was reading a book at his desk in the front of the orphanage. All the little children were quite sad; they barely received any presents, because either no one had the time, or they just didn't care. But then, a black streak zipped in front of the desk, leaving behind a massive sack of presents. The clerk fell back onto the floor in surprise. When he got back up, he read the card on the side.

_For the children of the orphanage,_

_Merry Christmas_

_-AU_

He quickly gathered it up and ran about, cheering happily, and the children did too. It was the first _merry_ Christmas they'd had in a while. Though, nobody saw the mere glimpse of Aaron's face smiling before it disappeared as quick as it had come; like a fleck of dust in the wind.

**Konoha Forest, Secret Clearing**

There he was, at the clearing where all of this began; where he, Rich, and May all fell into a mysterious portal at age 2. Well, technically, Aaron was six, because every human year is three years for an elf. That is, to say, in how they age, of course, not how time goes by. But nevertheless, we continue the story.

"So I'll bring those two back, but I'll leave them unconscious. I'd have to know their true intentions." He made six clones and in collaboration, drew a massive seal on the ground. Then he dashed away in a black flash before reappearing once more.

"Alright, let's do this." Aaron slammed his palm on the ground and the seal glowed immensely and he disappeared.

**Pocket Dimension, 12 hours later, 9:00PM**

"Ugh, my head hurts like a motherfucker. The last thing I remember is being in a white space for a long fucking time after that shithead pineapple haired-kid and the dumb blonde knocked a tree on me." A female voice said. She looked around to find herself in a small clearing surrounded by trees. But beyond the trees, there was a white grid with blue lines, and it was all over, like they were boxed in.

"W-Where am I? I hope I'm not in Oto again..." Another voice asked. A certain sailor-mouthed redhead from Oto turned her head to see another person from Sound, but the other person had black hair.

"Kin?"

"Tayu-chan?"

"A-Are we freakin' alive?"

"I-I think so..." Only then did they hear the crackle of a small fire, and looked in the direction of the sound (*rimshot*) to see a black haired man with long ears staring cryptically at the flames. Tayuya reached for her flute, but found that she didn't have it because it broke when she died, and Kin reached for some senbon.

"Relax. I'm not here to hurt you." The man said in a deep voice, not even looking at them as he stared into the flames. They both stopped their hands.

"I'm a friend. Well, you could call me a bit of a _neutral_ person right now...I'm sorry, I'm getting off topic. You are wondering if you're alive, correct?"

"Y-Yes." Kin said shakily, still nervous about the mysterious person. Aaron looked up, giving them a small look at his double-colored eyes.

"To tell you the truth, you are alive, b—" He was cut off by Tayuya.

"How the FUCK are we alive? You can't fucking bring some shit-head back from the fucking grave like it's no shit off your back! It..." She yelled, starting to rant. Aaron then looked at her with a monotonous stare.

"Please refrain from interrupting me. I ask that you save your questions until I am done." Tayuya stopped ranting.

"Now then, where was I?...Oh, yes...You are alive, well, sort of. You have basically been resurrected, but are in a state of purgatory. You are perfectly safe, though, and you're in a pocket dimension I have created." They both gave him confused looks. He looked back at the fire.

"I'm basically saying that you're on a plane of existence that I can create and destroy at will. Now, I have chosen to revive you because you both may deserve a second chance. Everyone does. But I need to know a few things."

"Like what?"

"My first question: Did you enjoy working for Orochimaru? Tayuya first."

"Honestly, HELL NO! I didn't want to work for that bastard, but he forced his backwards-ass seal on me, and I couldn't control myself! I just want to rip his fucking head off, take that shitty sword out of his fucking stomach, and shove 20 miles right up his—" Aaron held up a hand, signaling her to stop.

"Two things—1: Orochimaru is dead. I killed him myself and left nothing behind. 2: That's all I need so far from you. Kin." Kin gulped and nodded.

"I-I never wanted to work for him. B-But he threatened my...you know...m-my virginity, and then my life, and I had no choice. And then when he paired me up with Dosu and Zaku, I kept getting beaten and hurt and they kept threatening to rape me. T-They would've, if it hadn't been for Tayu-chan here." Aaron nodded.

"My second question: given a second chance at life, what would you do with that chance?"

"I would try to start over, and join a village that would respect me, not treat like fucking slave who they can fuck when they want!" Aaron looked at Kin.

"I would do the same thing as Tayu-chan, and I would probably go with her wherever she went." Aaron nodded, and snapped his fingers. The entire scene shifted to a same looking area in the Konoha forest, but the stars in the night sky were visible. Aaron looked up.

"Look at the sky; tell me what you see." He ordered. They both tilted their heads.

"I see...stars..." Kin said, tilting her head sideways as she looked up.

"Yeah, I see the same thing..." Tayuya replied, not even cursing once.

"To you, they are stars. That is exactly what they are. But there is more beyond that. To me, they are flickers of hope."

"Hope?" Aaron nodded.

"3000 years ago, this universe and all others were formed by a god known as Illyon. He created all the planets and space. But he found that the inhabitants of these planets were all frightened, for there was no light. They all hoped it would appear some day. So Illyon took a piece of his soul, and created a sun for each universe from its pieces. Even then, there was no way to see during the night, and the people were still afraid. Illyon took the hope of all the people, and he put it into fragments, scattering them about the cosmos. They became what we know as stars. You know that when a star dies, it's called a supernova, correct?" They both nodded.

"Most think it's just gas and flame collapsing in on itself. The elvish word _kul'la_ means hope. But it also means _star_. Every time a star dies, someone has either slightly or completely abandoned hope. The black hole that sometimes forms is the heavenly embodiment of the dark hole in a person's heart when hope is gone. The stars are actually alive; they are the living embodiments of the pure side of humanity. Do you see how not as many stars as one night has appear the next? That is because, that, somewhere in the world, someone has given up hope." He looked back at them.

"All life is precious. Know that. When hope is lost, so is a life. It is the same in reverse."

"How do you know all of this?" Aaron chuckled.

"Well, I was born an elf, and also something else, but also, I know more than any creature will ever know for all of eternity for a secret reason. But all knowledge comes with a price. For instance, the knowledge of how to kill someone; the price of that is another life being lost, and with that life, a star dies as well. The knowledge of how to heal with chakra; you can heal, but the cost is exhaustion and sometimes death when too much is used."

"I asked you those questions about what you would do, and your morals, so that I could decide whether or not you would be brought back to life." They looked at him hopefully.

"Now, what would you say my choice was, given our surroundings?" They both looked around.

"I chose to bring you back. Merry Christmas." The two girls hugged each other tightly. Then, Aaron was about to snap his fingers to leave, but Kin stopped him.

"So, what's your name?" He chuckled. Not in a freaky way, like Sosuke Aizen, but in a warm, happy way.

"Before I tell you, I want to give you an idea of something. Look in your minds for a second and imagine this: a village of its own kind; it is completely run by women, and only men who are trusted are allowed inside. And YOU TWO are the leaders. I think that would work very well for you, as you could start a training program for anyone who wants to become a kunoichi." Tayuya and Kin's eyes filled with wonder. An entire village run by only women and men who are trusted? And only certain people are allowed inside? That would be every member of the female species' dream.

"But now to answer your question." Aaron put on his most cryptic expression.

"I have many names, and many identities. To some, I am Hiroshi. To some others, I am Aaron. To my people, I am Prince Alren. But to the universe, I am known as Illyon. Goodbye..." He then snapped his fingers and disappeared in a flash of light. And when he was gone, a voice whispered in the wind.

"_Go along with his idea; I think you'll like it..._"

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAND CUT!

So, hey, guys! It's Jinso here. I just wanted to announce something SO. FRICKIN'. AWESOME...

I took a mid-term right before Winter Break, which had 55 questions in total, and was worth TWO test grades. I GOT A 93 ON IT, AND WITH CORRECTIONS, I'LL GET AROUND A 96!

HELLZ YEASH!

So, I'm happy about that!

See ya next time!

**~Jinso-kun**


	7. The Challenges Ahead

Hey guys, it's Jinso again. I know this just got released, along with Chapter 6, but I decided, while creating Chapter 6, that I could kill two birds with one stone and release both at the same time. So here it is!

Chapter 7-The Challenges Ahead

Aaron reappeared inside his home.

"So where'd you go?"

"Nowhere important; I visited people in need." A knock came at the door.

"Sonovabitch...Does EVERYBODY have to knock on my f**king door during a CONVERSATION?" Aaron yelled as he walked to the door. A goat-masked ANBU was there.

"Lord Hokage requests your presence in his chambers, Uchiha-san."

"Thank you." Aaron said. He closed the door, and went back to his family.

"Well, the Hokage wants me to see him, so I'll see _you guys_ later." With that, he disappeared.

**Hokage's Chambers**

"What is it I am here for, Hokage-sama?" Aaron asked with a raised eyebrow. Minato Namikaze was sitting across from him at his desk, and with a grin. Not an 'I'm happy today' grin, might I add. It was an 'I want you to be the proctor for the second part of the Chunin Exams in two days and make the Leaf seem cool by doing an awesome entrance' kind of look. YEAH. It was THAT descriptive.

"Let me guess; You want me to be the proctor for the Chunin Exams' second part, which is in two days, and make the village look cool by doing a grand entrancing and impressing the sh*t out of every person in the first exam room. Is that right?"

"I KNEW that look would speak for itself someday! Kushi-chan owes me money now!" The Yondaime Hokage exclaimed, striking a Jiraiya-esque pose. Aaron just sweat-dropped.

"Fine, I'll do it...but only because I love grand entrances and looking cool _while doing_ said entrances." Aaron conceded. Minato nodded and handed him a scroll. Aaron bowed and asked,

"Hokage-sama, might I ask you for a favor?" The elder Namikaze nodded.

"Could you please inform whoever is proctoring the first exam that I am going to be a little bit late on purpose? I wish to surprise everyone in the room when I enter."

"I'll do that. Morino Ibiki is proctoring again, just so you know." Aaron seemed to be pondering something for a moment.

"I'll just tell Ibiki myself. I'm needed at the T&I Department anyways." Aaron bowed, and left the Hokage's Office via a Light Shunshin. (A/N: A bright flash of light covers him, and when it fades, he is gone.)

**Aaron's House**

Aaron appeared out of his Light Shunshin.

"Hokage-sama called me to tell me that I'm proctoring the second part of the Chunin Exams." Aaron announced.

"Cool, dad! That means we'll all see you after the first exam!" Kagizdume cheered.

"Yes, you will, Kagi. I'm going to give you some tips, though: 1: Stay throughout the entire exam. Make sure your teammates and yourselves do NOT quit whatsoever. And 2: I'm going to be entering a few minutes late on purpose to impress everyone by order of the Hokage, so pretend you don't know that." The four nodded.

"Also, Anko-chan, I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to top your entrance from last year." Anko pouted and did the ultimate jutsu against men: 'Ultimate Hidden Female Technique: Puppy-Dog Eyes no Jutsu'.

"Pweeeeeeeeeeeeease don't." She begged. Aaron sighed.

'_Yes, I've got him! My entrance will still stay the best!_' She mentally cheered. In Anko's mind, there was a chibi her dancing and poking her fingers up and down next to a chibi Aaron, who had the kanji for 'Whipped' (ホイップ) on his forehead, who was crying anime tears.

"I'm still going to do it." Every man in the world suddenly felt the need to worship a regular person as a god.

'_Someone has just managed to resist the puppy dog eyes. We must worship them, for they are the one true god._' Everyone but Aaron and his family thought. All the women suddenly felt a sense of weakness.

'_Someone has just beaten our ultimate weapon. If the other males of the world find out, all hope for whipping our husbands will be lost._' They thought in unison.

"But as a way to say sorry for beating your entrance, I'll buy you an all-you-can-eat dango feast."

**Akimichi Clan Compound**

"ACHOO!" Every Akimichi sneezed in unison.

'_Someone is talking about a feast..._' They all thought as their stomachs grumbled.

**Uchiha Clan Compound**

"Now I'm off to tell Morino-san about my entrance. See you all in two days!" Aaron then disappeared.

**2 Days Later, Near the End of the First Exam**

"Now for the tenth question..." Ibiki paused for dramatic effect as all the kids leaned in except for Aaron's.

"...You pass! Congratulations!" Everyone face-faulted.

"What the hell! What about the tenth question!" A Suna genin asked. Ibiki smirked.

"There was no tenth question; the entire test was about gathering information."

He pulled off his bandana/hitai-ate. Upon his head, there were puncture marks, burns, scratches, scars, and other grotesque injuries.

**-Insert tape labeled "Ibiki's 'What it means to be a Chunin' Speech"-**

Ibiki smirked again as some Genin pissed their pants, and some even VOMITED at the sight of his injuries. He didn't mind them that much. The scars and burns didn't really hurt at all anymore. He put his bandana back on and looked around with a fake scowl on his face.

'_Heh...I can't WAIT to see their faces when he enters..._' Ibiki pointed to a Chunin, getting ready to cue Aaron in like he was supposed to do.

"YOU! Go find the proctor for the second exam! If you can't find him, DON'T BOTHER COMING BACK!" He barked. The Chunin nodded, and was about to run off, when a broadsword crashed through the ceiling and implanted itself in the floor. Everyone stopped and stared. The genin were chattering.

"_What was that?_" "_Who did that?_" They whispered.

Suddenly, an enormous amount of power began building up in the floor, rising like lava inside a volcano.

'_Here it comes..._' Aaron's children and Ibiki thought in unison.

A couple of genin began getting fearful of what was going on. Suddenly, the power skyrocketed, and a golden beam of light shot high up in the sky out of nowhere.

**BGM ACTIVATED: INTRO INSTRUMENTAL FOR NEW DIVIDE, BY LINKEN PARK**

The genin watched in awe as the light began to thin and collapse, intertwining as it fell. (A/N: Think of when Itachi and Kisame are fighting Kakashi, Kurenai, and I think Asuma, and then Gai comes in and the water that flew up from his entry intertwines then hits the surface of the water they're standing on.) The light intertwined and streamed down, revealing a black-haired man with his eyes closed, and his arms folded across his chest. His jet-black hair and long cape fluttered from the winds his power caused.

He was dressed in leather pants, like a rogue in an RPG. On his feet was a pair of padded running shoes, made from a light but durable silk. Aaron wore a tanned undershirt, and on top of it, a Dracailium chestplate with the symbol of Illyon in the middle. In the middle part of the symbol, there was a polished moonstone, which seemed to always draw your attention to it. Starting at the end of his undershirt's short sleeves, a pair of silken long sleeves trailed down his arms.

He wore two metal bracers with the symbol of Illyon inscribed in them. (A/N: Illyon's symbol is a glowing yellow. It has an oval-like shape in the middle (The bottom is a point, which stretches out a little going upwards, and then becomes like an oval), and there are two stretched out comma marks on the side.) The front ends of the bracers were spiked. He wore two Dracailium pauldrons on his shoulders, both also inscribed with the symbol of Illyon.

He also wore a Dracailium helm on his head. The helmet was shaped like a dragon's head, with the mouth, yet no-one could see what lie beyond it. The eyes of the dragon head were rhodolite garnets, making it look fierce and mighty. (A/N: (Wow, I'm doing a lot of these in this chapter, aren't I?) If you want to know what a rhodolite garnet looks like, imagine a garnet, but more square-shaped. Or just search it on Google or whatever search engine you use.) Aaron's long elf-ears stuck out from the sides of the helmet, taking the place of the dragon's ears. Finally, he was wearing a tiger-stripe cape made from the finest non-flammable silk on Ra'drith, which was spun by Kaldren spiders. (A/N: Kaldren spiders are giant spiders native to the mountainous areas of Ra'drith. They can read the emotions of people to determine if they are good or evil. The silk they spin for their webs is used in making fine clothes for those with the money to buy said clothes.) In short, two words described his look; BAD and ASS.

Then the light disappeared completely.

**BGM END**

And he spoke.

"I am Uchiha Hiroshi, proctor for the second part of the Chunin Exams. Report to training ground 44, otherwise known as the Forest of Death, at once. If you are not there within one hour, you and your team will be immediately disqualified."

With that, Aaron used his Light Shunshin™ to go to the Forest of Death.

**Forest of Death, 1 Minute Later**

Aaron was starting to nod off while waiting for the Chunin hopefuls to arrive, when he felt a jolt run through his body.

'_This feeling...I've felt it before...it means something bad is going to happen...But what?_' He thought in perplexion.

**Cave, Unknown Location**

A figure, cast in shadow, stood over some kind of crater in the ground, looking in and chuckling deeply. The crater was filled with water, and in the water's surface, it showed Aaron leaning against a gate in the Forest of Death.

"...It's almost time...soon I shall possess the blades once more, and I shall rule for all eternity..." The figure said.

The image switched to Kinu, and then Kagizdume, then Kuro, and finally Te-ru, before coming back to Aaron.

"...Even if I have to do it myself...Ren'l!"

A black humanoid creature with glowing yellow eyes and a similar yellow gem on its forehead ran up to them. This creature is what is known as a homunculus, or, an elemental; an inanimate element given life by something's own energy. When created, elementals are bound to their masters/creators until their deaths.

"Yes, sire?" The elemental asked.

The figure stood up straight, and turned around to face the elemental, a black cape swooping with a "_fwwsh_".

"Send out the Tazhu(1). I want my blades back soon."

"Of course, sire! Right away!" Ren'l replied as it scrambled off.

"...Soon, Illyon...Soon, I will come for them...And you cannot stop me..."

The person's long elf ears twitched as they let out a loud cackle.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand that's that! This was chapter 7, and there's more to come soon!

(1): Tazhu: A race a humanoid bat-like creatures that are only found in mines on Ra'drith. These creatures can use echolocation, and can let out a sonic screech to disable their prey. Their fangs are also tipped with a poison that puts the victim in a temporary coma at first, and can lead to death if untreated.

Get ready for Chapter 8: The Prophecy Foretold!

See you all next time!

**~Jinso**


	8. The Prophecy Foretold

Hey guys, I'm here again, this time with Chapter 8! So let's get it on!

COFB Chapter 8- The Prophecy Foretold!

**1 Hour Later, Forest of Death Entrance**

The genin scrambled to the entrance. Aaron had to disqualify many a few minutes later, for they had been late in getting there. Of course, he didn't have to disqualify his children. He simply had teleported his children and their teams to the forest so they could still have a chance at becoming Chunin.

"Welcome to training ground 44, otherwise known as the Forest of Death, and the location of the second portion of the Chunin Exams." Aaron greeted.

"Now that those of you who were not disqualified are here, I would like to go over the ru-" He stopped when an Ame kunoichi raised her hand.

"Proctor-san?" She asked.

"Yes?"

"Why are you wearing a helmet to hide your face?" Aaron's ears twitched, and he heard the voices of a team of Kusa Genin.

"_He's probably ugly as hell, and he doesn't want people to see..._" They whispered. Aaron didn't even look in their direction.

"One more comment from anyone on that team from Kusa..." He pointed at them lazily.

"...and you will be immediately disqualified." He pointed back at the Ame kunoichi.

"Continue."

"Could you show us what you look like? I mean, the first proctor already showed us what he looked like." Aaron nodded. He slowly grabbed the base of his helm, and began lifting it off. His elf ears tucked back into the helmet as he pulled it off. Aaron then dropped it on the ground with a resounding _clang_, and shook his head side to side, getting his hair back to normal. Aaron then glared at the Kusa team again.

"Anymore _snide_ comments about my looks?" He asked. A few of the older kunoichi started drooling with hearts in their eyes.

"Now for the rules."

**-Insert tape labeled 'Rules of the Second Part of the Chunin Exams'-**

"Also, we have a few additional rules this year that I myself have added." He raised his index finger.

"First rule, under no circumstances are any genin allowed to break any of the following rules, sans a situation such as a missing-nin infiltrating the exams. Second rule, a genin team MUST work together in order to complete this exam. Third rule, members of a squad are not allowed to abuse other members of said squad, and doing so will result in immediate disqualification. I have eyes and ears all over the forest, people. Fourth rule, you are not allowed to kill anyone from the same village as you. Doing so will result in disqualification. This is to provide a sense of trust amongst teammates and comrades. Fifth rule, if any genin participating in the exams attacks/attempts to kill a proctor or assistant proctor, they will immediately be disqualified, and also punished when/if they return to their home village. Understood?" The genin all replied yes.

"Then let THE SECOND STAGE OF THE CHUNIN EXAMS COMMENCE!" With a drop of his hand, the gates were all opened, and genin flooded into the forest.

"Now that that's all done, I better dismiss myself." Aaron then poofed into smoke, revealing himself to be a shadow clone.

**The Tower, Forest of Death**

Memories of his KB flooded into his mind. Aaron was sitting on a mat, dressed in black casual pants and a tee.

"Ok. Since my KB dispelled, it means that the exam started, and now I can focus on more important things." Aaron quickly whipped out a pen and a pad, and began trying to think of a story title.

"Hmm...I already wrote a book on training, but now I want to write some kind of poetry. Dammit! Why is writing a novel SO HARD!" He shouted, his voice echoing into the forest. Aaron then assumed an overdramatic, and yet, completely necessary, thinking pose, with his index finger and thumb cupping his chin, and his elbow resting on his right thigh.

**2 Hours Later**

"AHA! I got it!" He shouted as he pointed into the sky. Aaron then began furiously scribbling down the words of the prologue.

"_Legends have been told of that person,_

_The hero who rushed into battle,_

_Those who were once heroes,_

_And even those who were his mortal enemies, beside him,_

_In a quest to save the world. _"

At the top of the pad's page was a title.

"_The Legend of the Hero_" (A/N: The title may seem a little corny, but just watch what happens...)

**3 More Hours Later**

"And there...we...go!" Aaron proclaimed. He had just finished the epilogue of _The Legend of the Hero_, and it was ready to be published.

"Wow, I've still got about two to three days before any genin probably arrive...Might as well take this to a publisher." He zoomed off in a black streak.

**2 Days Later**

Aaron's book had finally been published, and the publisher had given him the first hardcover copy of the manuscript. Finally, after a few minutes, a team of gennin came into the tower. Aaron was actually hidden behind a seal barrier, even though he was a little bit a ways away to their side. He had set up the barrier so that his writing could be undisturbed while he progressed. The team of genin wore Konoha headbands, but he couldn't see who they were just yet. Although one thing came to mind; the boy in the middle had clay red hair and...WERE THOSE FOX EARS! The three shinobi opened their two scrolls, and Umino Iruka popped out and began explaining what it meant to be a Chunin. Then he poofed away, and Aaron said,

"Hey, Te-ru! How's it going?" The three whirled around, frantically searching for the voice that called out to him.

"Oops...hang on a second..." The seal barrier vanished, but to Te-ru and his team, his own father had appeared out of nowhere, sheepishly rubbing the back of his head.

"There we go!"

"Whoa, DON'T SCARE ME LIKE THAT, DAD!" Te-ru yelled, clutching his chest over his heart.

"Sorry, son. I didn't mean to scare you."

"Then why did you appear out of NOWHERE!"

"Because I placed a seal barrier up so I could finish writing a poetry book."

"A poetry book? _I_ would've written an action novel!"

"And yet you have twelve different sets of Shakespeare in your closet..." Aaron deadpanned. Te-ru blushed as his two teammates, one male, one female, both shot him 'why the f**k do you have a s**tload of Shakespeare books in your closet?' looks.

"But anyways, take a look if you wanna!" Aaron handed them his hardcover copy of _The Legend of the Hero_.

"'_The Legend of the Hero'_? That's an unusual title." Te-ru's female teammate commented.

"It may be, but you'd have to read it first to understand." Aaron replied. The three took turns reading it. By the time they were all done, Te-ru and his teammates could all but gawk, except Te-ru's female teammate, who had stars in her eyes.

"Oh my gosh, this is the best book EVER! Could I have a copy?" She squealed. The three males sweatdropped.

"Uh...Sure?" Aaron pulled out a paperback copy of _The Legend of the Hero_ that he had received as well, and gave it to her.

"Um...Do you think you could also...sign it?" Aaron nodded, and pulled out a pen.

"What's your name?" He asked her.

"My name is Amane." Aaron then signed the paperback copy.

" 'To Amane, a sweet girl who will grow into a beautiful woman someday, hope you like the book! Sincerely yours, Uchiha Hiroshi'. Is that alright?" Te-ru's female teammate squealed, and hugged the book to her chest, signifying a yes. The three males again sweatdropped.

"Well, you guys can pick any room in the tower to stay in until the other teams that are still living arrive."

"Thanks, dad!" Aaron waved goodbye to his son as he walked off. Te-ru's male teammate came up to him.

"Thank you for doing that for my sister." He said.

"No problem..."

"Akiyoshi." Aaron nodded.

"No problem, Akiyoshi." Said genin waved goodbye and walked off to meet his teammates. Aaron closed his eyes, and then sat back down again.

"*sigh*...What to do...What to do..." Suddenly, a black fog started entering the room. Aaron immediately sprung up, drawing a tanto somehow out of thin air.

"Who's there?" An eerie voice rang out from the mist.

"_My, my, Illyon. I would've thought you'd remember an old friend, even one who lives in the dark..._" The disembodied voice replied. Aaron froze. There was the name that only enemies called him by. Even though his subjects said 'Illyon', they normally added 'Lord' before it, or just said 'My liege'. Plus, he had heard that voice before. It seemed far off in his mind. He could remember it from his past life.

'_A shadowy fog, that love of creeping people out that most gods seem to have, and 'even one who lives in the dark'..._' Then, it clicked.

"Renda..." He whispered.

"_It seems you _do_ remember me..._" The now identified Renda's voice said. The shadow fog disappeared, and Renda was standing there. He had white hair and orange and red eyes.

"What are you doing here, Renda?"

"Why so suspicious? Why can't one visit an old friend every once in a while?"

"Renda, that's bull, and you know it. I can see that greedy look in your eyes. Now tell me why you're here." Renda sighed.

"Always the serious one, eh? Fine. If you must know, I simply want my blades back." The raven haired elf's eyes narrowed at Renda.

"They aren't _your_ blades anymore, Renda. They belong to the four wielders now."

"They do, hmm? It seems as though I'll have to take them from your children, then." Aaron glared even more.

"Yes, I do know that your children are the wielders. I've been watching you for some time, and I must say, four women, Illyon? Bravo, _bra_vo." Aaron glared at him, hoping Renda would spontaneously combust or something.

"But alas, I have to leave soon. You might want to look out for your sires, though. I've dispatched the Tazhu to find them. Goodbye for now..." Renda then turned into black smoke, which sunk into the floor and disappeared. Aaron cursed and created 520 Kage Bunshin.

"I want you all to get in groups of 20. Groups Alpha through Delta, you watch the children. Groups Echo through Mike, watch the entrances. Groups November through Tango, watch the inside of the forest. And Groups Uniform through Zulu, you set up sensory devices around the forest in coordination with Groups November through Tango." The clones began getting into bigger groups.

"Everyone take a wireless headset."

"Now are you ready?" All nods.

"Then go!" All the clones except for twenty of them teleported away. The twenty that didn't ran off to guard Te-ru. Aaron sighed.

"Why me?" He asked no-one.

**Kinu's Team**

"So Kinu, your dad's the proctor?" Hunter asked.

"Yes, he is. Wasn't his entrance cool?" Hunter nodded.

"I have to admit, he looked pretty badass." Momo commented.

"My dad has always had a flair for making cool entrances." Kinu replied. Out of nowhere, an unearthly shriek was heard.

"W-What was that?" Momo asked, shaking a little. A massive, bat-like creature came into view.

"WHAT THE HELL IS THAT!" Hunter yelled.

"_Master Kinu, do not let that bite you._" Came Hyoshgra's voice.

'_Why? What is it?_'

'_That is a Tazhu. It's teeth are covered in a horrible poison that will certainly induce a coma, and even death. You might also want to wear earplugs._' Kinu nodded mentally.

"Hunter, Momo, let me take care of this!" They looked at her with wide eyes.

"Are you insane! That's thing's gotta be, like, 30 feet tall!" Hunter shouted.

"Just let me do this!" Kinu ran towards the Tazhu, drawing Tempest Horn.

"Bring it on, ugly!" She taunted. The beast shrieked and fired a sonic blast at Kinu, who retaliated with a miniature tornado that knocked the blast away. She then sent out a gale, and the beast received numerous cuts on its body.

"What's the matter? Need your mommy?" It roared again and fired multiple sonic blasts. The blasts were mostly aimed at her friends. Kinu cursed.

"_Master Kinu, I need you to call out these words if you want your friends to live..._' Kinu felt power welling up inside her.

"TORNADO DRAGON DESTRUCTION!" She swung her sword, and a massive dragon made of wind flew out, roaring as it charged the Tazhu. The dragon swiped all of the sonic blasts, and then finally rammed into the beast. Kinu took that chance, and jumped in the air, landing on the now aggravated Tazhu.

"Take this!" She raised her sword and plunged it into the beast's head, making it let out a ghastly wail as it fell to the ground and died. Kinu ripped the sword out, and sheathed it. She then walked back over to her teammates, who were gawking. Kinu shook her head, flicking her hair back.

"Why don't we get to the tower?"

**Kagizdume's Team**

"How much longer until we get to the tower?" Kagi complained. They could see the tower in the distance.

"I'd say about 3 more miles." One of Kagizdume's female teammates said. Suddenly, a loud shriek was heard as a giant bat thing appeared in front of them.

"My, grandma, what big teeth you have..." Kagi joked.

"Kagi, this is no time for jokes! That thing's about to attack and possibly KILL us!" Kagi scoffed.

"Relax, Sora, I got it." He drew Soaring Talon, and charged it. It let out a sonic screech, which traveled towards Kagi at high speeds. He let out a pulsating wave of light which destroyed the blast. It let out two more, which Kagi destroyed again.

"_Master Kagizdume, beware of this creature. Its teeth are covered in venom, and, as you now know, it can let out sonic blasts. I think this technique can help you defeat it..._" Kagi nodded, and held Soaring Talon firmly in his hands, the blade glowing.

"SOLAR WHIRLWIND DEVASTATION!" He jumped up and landed on top of the beast. Kagi then began spinning, waves of light encircling him like a tornado. When he stopped, the beast was on the ground, dead, and he was standing on top of it. His sword was stuck in its head. Kagi took his sword, cleaned it off, and sheathed it.

"Sora, Yarina, don't speak of this to anyone..." Kagi said in a serious tone. They both shivered unknowingly.

"Now why don't we hurry to the tower?"

**Kuro's Team**

"Things haven't been very eventful, have they?" Kuro mumbled to himself.

"Well, since we're so close to the tower, I'd say nothing could go wrong!" One of Kuro's two female teammates said. All three of them stopped, with Kuro and his other female teammate staring with wide eyes at her.

"Fukiko...why the HELL did you just say that?" Kuro's other female teammate asked.

"Well, Hachi, I just thought that..." She couldn't finish her sentence because it then clicked.

"S**t...I jinxed us, didn't I?" Kuro nodded. Suddenly, a horrible screech was heard, and a giant bat...creature...beast...thing...Aw, f**k it. It's hard to describe without being redundant(1). Anyways, a giant bat thing appeared out of nowhere.

"WHAT THE F**K IS THAT PIECE OF MOTHERF**KING C**KFACED S**T!" Hachi yelled. Oh, it seems that I forgot to mention that Hachi had a mouth that could rival Tayuya of the Sound Four's.

"Stay back. I'll handle it." Kuro said cooly. He drew Dark Fang and charged the thing.

(A/N: You know the drill from the last two scenes. He taunts it, deflects and attack, and then his blade tells him a technique. Sorry for being lazy, but it's becoming redundant again.)

"DARK VOID ARMAGEDDON!" Kuro slashed his blade in the air multiple times, creating five bolts of dark energy that all moved at the same time and slashed across the thing at five different points, creating a line star (A/N: You know, that kind of star you create by connecting multiple lines, and it's a regular star, except it's not filled in.) of black magic. Then the bolts all flew out from five different points, and each split into two. The now ten bolts all closed in on the Tazhu in a circle formation, completely enveloping it. Then Kuro jumped into the fray with his sword drawn. An ethereal shriek came from the black, and when it disappeared, Kuro was standing in front of the dead Tazhu. He then sheathed his sword, turned around, but then promptly stopped. He turned around again. Lightning fast, he drew his sword, slashed, and sheathed it with a resounding '_click_'. The corpse then fell to literal pieces. Kuro walked back to his team.

"Let's go." He said.

**Tower, 30 Minutes Later**

"Hey Kinu, Kuro, and Kagi!" Aaron called out. They all turned to look and see their dad with his nose in a Bleach manga, doing what Kakashi does with Icha Icha, and holding up two fingers in a v.

"Hey, dad!" They all ran up to him.

"Have each of your teams got two scrolls?" They all affirmed a yes.

"Good. You can all find a room in the tower to rest in. Te-ru's team is already here if you're wondering." Most of the three teams walked off. But Aaron's children all stayed behind.

"Hey, dad?" Aaron raised in eyebrow in response.

"What's that grey-colored book beside you?" Kinu asked as she pointed to said book lying on the floor beside Aaron. It had a picture of two swords crossing in an "x" in front of a shield, all of which was colored in a metallic gold color, and the words _The Legend of the Hero_ at the top in bronze.

"Oh, that? That's a book I wrote and published. It comes out in stores tomorrow." They raised an eyebrow.

"What type of book?"

"Poetry." Their eyebrows just rose even more.

"Did Te-ru get his love of poetry and Shakespeare from you?" Aaron nodded. He then reached into his pocket and pulled out 15 Ryo.

"Why are you giving us this money?" Kinu asked.

"So you can buy my book if you want to. If not, just keep the money. It costs 5 Ryo." They nodded, pocketed the money, and then went to find their teammates.

**3 Days Later, After the speech about being a Chunin and the announcement of Preliminaries**

"Ok, guys, what say we go get some food as a celebration." On cue, all four stomachs growled, and they went to eat.

**1 Week Later**

Aaron was walking home after buying a specially ordered double-edged tanto with a imperial topaz in the hilt, when he bumped into Kurenai, who was apparently with Asuma.

"Hello, Kurenai-san, Asuma-san." Aaron greeted.

"Hello, Aaron-san." Came the obvious reply. Asuma took notice of Aaron's tanto as he took a drag from his cigarette.

"*whistle* That's a pretty special blade you got there." He commented.

"You could say it was special. Cost 100 Ryo to order, and 10,000 to customize, and 500 to buy." They both gawked.

"T-Ten thousand to customize? What the hell'd you ask for, the blades to be made of gold, and a diamond every five inches?" Asuma asked.

"You're kind of right about the gold part. I had the blades made of half gold and half silver. I also had a socket be made in the hilt, and an imperial topaz put in said socket." Asuma's jaw lowered enough for his cigarette to fall out. That's right. Asuma's IMMOVABLE cigarette...FELL. OUT.

"How'd you get an imperial topaz? Only ONE has ever been found in the history of the Elemental Nations!" Aaron blinked.

"I've got, like, 20 at home." Asuma nearly fainted right then and there.

"But...HOW?" Aaron's gaze fell to a smoothened pebble on the ground. He picked it up, and tossed it up and down for a second.

"See this pebble?" They both nodded. He let the pebble float up in the air above his palm. Suddenly, it began transforming, and then the next thing you knew...it was a spessartite garnet. He then handed it to Kurenai. She and Asuma just gawked at it for a long time. Then they turned to him.

"How. The. HELL. Did you do that?" Aaron shrugged. He took a stick of pocky out from his pocket, and began chewing on it.

"It's called transmutation. I basically changed the entire structure of the rock right down the smallest molecule, and made it so the molecules were consistent with those of a spessartite garnet." They gawked some more.

"Oh, and if you want one Asuma, I can get you any gemstone you like right now." Asuma seemed to snap out of it.

"Ok...could you give me a...danburite?" Aaron nodded. A white cube with blue gridlines appeared right above his hand. (This is the pocket dimension that Aaron mentioned two chapters ago.) It then disappeared to reveal a flawless, perfectly cut danburite, which fell into Aaron's open palm. He then put it in Asuma's. (A/N: By the way, you can just search these gemstones on bing, or google, or whatever search engine you use.)

"But anyways, the whole blade cost 10,600 Ryo. That's not much out of what I have." They looked at him with raised eyebrows.

"Seriously? That's not much for you?" Aaron shook his head no.

"Nah, I've already got enough money from being the author of the second best book in the elemental nations, and with my new one that came out, I DEFINITELY have more than enough."

"New one? What book did you write?" Asuma asked with a raised eyebrow. Aaron then held up his personal hardcover copy of _Legend of the Hero_. Kurenai immediately was right in front of him with stars in her eyes, holding up a paperback copy in front of her.

"Oh my gosh, this my favorite book EVER! Could you sign it?" Aaron nodded with a sweatdrop, and Asuma sweatdropped as well. He pulled out a pen and signed the book. Kurenai then squealed and hugged it to her chest. Of course, many of the men in the area were jealous of the book. Kurenai then apparently bear-hugged Aaron, saying,

"THANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOU..." Over and over. Of course, the men got even more jealous for two reasons. One, the book kept almost getting to second base, which many of them fantasized about, and two, Aaron just almost got to second base, which Asuma was a little bit jealous of. Kurenai then went back over to Asuma, and Aaron waved goodbye as he walked off. Asuma looked over Kurenai's shoulder and read what Aaron had wrote inside the cover.

_To Kurenai,_

_A beautiful woman who I think any man would be lucky to have someday,_

_Hope you like the book!_

_-Uchiha Hiroshi_

_P.S: If you and Asuma need wedding rings at some point, just give me a call. ;D_

They both then blushed very hard at the P.S statement.

**Somewhere near the Uchiha compound**

Aaron opened his pocket dimension again, and took a stick of chocolate pocky out of it, putting the sweet treat in between his teeth. Kami, that's a tongue twister. Anyways, as he passed by an alley, he saw a small dog being beaten by three kids. Aaron took the pocky stick from his teeth in a cool fashion (with two fingers, of course), and said,

"Oi! What the hell do you kids think you're doing?" The kids turned and looked at him.

"We're teaching this dog not to be a mutt! Only _pure_ dogs should be left alive! Now go f**k yourself and find somewhere else to put your limp old d**k to use, gramps!" One of the kids shouted. Aaron narrowed his eyes.

"You kids shinobi yet?"

"Of course, old man! Can't you see the headbands we're wearing? Or are your old eyes to batty to see anything?"

"First, I'll have you know that I'm only 35. And second, seeing as how I'm a Jonin, I could take you three in right now for animal abuse, as well as insubordination." The kids immediately paled.

"O-Oh, yeah? How do we know you're a Jonin?" One asked with false bravado. Aaron pulled out his bingo book, and flipped to the page with his information.

_Uchiha Hiroshi,__ Jonin of Konoha_(A/N: Yeah, key words right there, kiddies...)

_Monikers: Onyx Devastation, Black Sun, Dark Inferno_

_SS-Rank_

_Appearance: When out on missions, wears a black cloak that only reveals a grin, and, when he activates it, his Sharingan. When elsewhere, he wears normally a black tee and blue jeans. Has long ears, not found on any human, and blue-green eyes where the irises are split in half like a yin-yang symbol._

_Taijutsu: 9/10; Is said to be on par with the Yondaime Raikage._

_Genjutsu: 10/10; Is known to use the Sharingan, as well as the Mangekyo, and an unknown form of the Uchiha clan's dojutsu._

_Ninjutsu: 10/10; Is known for mainly producing Katon, Raiton, and Futon jutsu, but can also use Doton and Suiton. Also uses a hidden type of elemental release known as Keiton (Light Release). It is unknown what this type of elemental release does, or if it is a bloodline limit or not, but this man is the only one in the elemental nations who can produce it._

_Kenjutsu: 10/10; Uchiha Hiroshi is one of the greatest swordsmen in all of the elemental nations. It is estimated that it would take all Seven Swordsman of the Mist to be at about 85.9637104% of his skill._

_Fuinjutsu: 9.5/10; Can create seals out of thin air, and is able to make special kinds imbued with his chakra that only recognize certain people's chakra signatures. Can easily be compared with the skills of the Yondaime Hokage_

_Chakra Levels (A feature only added for A-Rank and up): Near those of a f**king god. _(A/N: Heheheh...If only they knew...)

_Final Conclusion: If you come across this man, you will only get one warning to flee for your life. He has even prevented an entire war from happening with just a card game. No, really, we're serious. He has ACTUALLY done that. If you do not take that warning and get the f**k out of there, mission be damned, may Kami have mercy on your soul as he rips you a new one five times over. In short...you're __**SCREWED**__._

The three genin paled as they read the final conclusion.

"Now if you don't leave that dog where it is, I'm going to report you all straight to the Hokage right now, and have you taken off the ranks. Got it?" The children didn't respond, as they had soiled their pants, and then flew off. Aaron walked over to the dog, which whimpered and tried to get away.

'_Please...no more beatings..._' It begged.

'_Don't worry. I'm not here to hurt you._' He replied.

'_Inuzuka Vet's Office...please take me there..._' Aaron nodded, scooped up the dog, and began bounding for the animal hospital. He traced a hand delicately over a fresh cut.

"Hold still; this might hurt." A faint green glowed traced over the edge of his finger, and the wound closed as the dog whimpered.

"Alright...we're here..." Aaron walked in to the vet's office, where he saw Hana Inuzuka. Aaron quickly ran up to Hana.

"Excuse me. I saw this dog being beaten by three genin, and decided to bring it here." Hana looked at the dog in shock.

"That's one of our clan dogs!"

"They were beating it because it's a mutt, saying it didn't deserve to live. I closed the most severe wound, which was a cut over its stomach." Aaron then held a hand on the dog's stomach lightly.

"I hate when people do that..." He whispered to himself. Aaron heard a cough, and focused back on Hana.

"Thank you for bringing Shina-kun back." Aaron nodded.

"You're welcome. Though, may I examine it a little bit further?" Hana raised an eyebrow, but nodded. Aaron held a glowing hand over Shina-kun. He then grinned.

"I closed off all of the wounds, so Shina-kun can heal easier. But, apparently, Shina-_kun_ is actually a Shina-_chan_." He informed the Inuzuka woman. Then Aaron slipped something on the counter of the desk and walked away. Hana looked down at was placed. It was a small crystal with a note beside it.

"_Tie this crystal to Shina-chan's leg, and it'll help boost the recovery process. Make sure the crystal is not taken off for the next two days, or her leg's muscle and bone marrow will deteriorate._

_As always,_

_-Uchiha Hiroshi_"

A crude drawing of Aaron holding out two fingers in a "v" drawn in crayon was beside the signature.

**Hokage's Office**

Aaron suddenly appeared in the form of a black streak.

"Jeez, I'm _still_ not used to that, and the irony is that it's basically my own jutsu." Minato Namikaze joked.

"Well, it _is_ surprising when you see a black streak suddenly enter a room faster than light can travel." Aaron jibbed right back.

"Anyways, why are you here?"

"I just wanted to inform you that I found three genin beating an Inuzuka pup near my clan compound. They need to be charged with animal abuse, and insubordination." Minato raised an eyebrow.

"Insubordination?" Aaron nodded.

"They called me an old man, and they apparently might have seen the headband I have around my neck, but they told me to, I believe it was, 'Go f**k off and find somewhere else to put my limp old d**k to use'." I then, of course, had to show them my bingo book status and they promptly pissed themselves and ran." Minato nodded.

"Do you know who they are?" Aaron shook his head no.

"But I do have mental pictures." He snapped his fingers and three pictures of the genin appeared out of nowhere.

"See you later, Hokage-sama." Aaron then disappeared in a flash of light.

**Near the Uchiha Compound**

Aaron was simply walking home when he heard a cry of,

"Stop, thief!" A masked shinobi promptly shoved Aaron out of the way as he ran down the street. Aaron turned around to see Tenten Higurashi and her father running after the man.

"Sonovabitch..." He muttered. Aaron then promptly took to the rooftops to chase after the thief.

**Somewhere in the Red Light District of Konoha**

"Phew...I finally lost them..." the thief said. Out of nowhere, a dense black fog rolled in, blocking everything from view.

"_Eight points. The larynx, spine, lungs, liver, jugular vein, collarbone, kidney, and heart. Now, which vital organ do you want to get struck at?_" Aaron's disembodied voice called out as he repeated Zabuza's words in his first battle against Team 7. The thief backed up against a brick wall, fearing for his life.

"_Wait, I know a solution; either you give me back the stolen items, and I kill you nicely, or I force you to watch the 4Kids version of One Piece, and take the goods back as your corpse twitches all the while..._" The thief's eyes widened.

"Y-You wouldn't d-dare...You d-d-don't have the g-guts..." Suddenly, the One Piece 4Kids theme song started playing.

**Dreamin'! Don't give it up, Luffy!**

**Dreamin'! Don't give it up Zoro!**

**Dreamin'! Don't give it up Nam-**

"I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE!" The guy screamed and threw the goods on the ground. Then he as he ran off, not even bothering to put up a fight or look where he was going. The fog disappeared, revealing Aaron standing right in front of where he had been.

"Pathetic...he didn't even try to put up a fight..." Aaron spat on the ground. Soon after, Tenten and her father caught up with Aaron.

"Where's the thief?" Tenten's father asked. Aaron looked up to the sky, and said,

"I played the 4Kids version of One Piece, and he screamed like a little bitch, then ran for his life."

"Holy s**t...don't you think that's a bit much?" Tenten's father asked. Aaron shrugged.

"I had 'Viva Pinata' in reserve." All three shivered as the thought of 'Viva Pinata' playing appeared in their minds.

"That's just...f**king evil..." Aaron then handed the sack back to Tenten.

"Thank you, Uchiha-san." Her father replied. Aaron nodded, and said,

"You're welcome..."

"Ziru. Ziru Higarashi."

"You're welcome Ziru-san." They were about to leave, but Ziru asked,

"Hey, do you, by any chance at all, know where I could acquire a few rare gems for a reasonable price?" Aaron stared, and then nodded.

"Really? Where?" Aaron pointed to himself. When they both raised their eyebrows, he gathered a cluster of about 20 pebbles, making them all float in the air, and transmuting them into various rare gems, such as diamonds, onyx gemstones, jadeites, ametrines, bloodstones, scapolites, and other kinds. Then pulled a small bag out of his pocket dimension and put all the gems in there, handing them over to Ziru, who was gawking.

"I could add to your business if you wanted. You get the gems for free."

"So, we'll split the money 50/50?" Aaron shook his head no.

"100/0. You get all of it. I have no need for more money. I've already got enough from being an author."

"Author?" Aaron held up the now popular book, _The Legend of the Hero_. Of course, Tenten gained hearts in her eyes, squealed, and promptly used a **Fan-Hiraishin**™ to go over to him.

"Ohmygosh, this is my favorite book ever! Will you sign it?" Aaron nodded, signed the paperback copy, and handed it over to Tenten, who squealed again and hugged it to her chest. Aaron then waved goodbye and walked home.

And that's all for this chapter! By the way, the 4Kids One Piece and Viva Pinata joke is from Naruto the Abridged Series by MasakoX and Vegeta 3986. Holy s**t, it's a giant chicken!

Also, I have reuploaded Chapters 42 and 43 of All the Birds of Akatsuki to change quite a few details so there is no copying involved. I thank one of the reviewers for telling me that it was wrong, because when I first uploaded it, I didn't really think it was that much of copying. I am sorry for copying rebukex7, and I will never copy him again.

**~Jinso-kun**


	9. Omakes and Drabbles Abound

Hey again! I'm back with chapter nine!

Also, an important announcement: Two of the omakes in this chapter will be prologues to certain parts of chapter ten. So you know which ones, I have marked them with an asterisk (*).

Now then...Let's go!

COFB Chapter 9- Omakes and Drabbles Abound

Warning: This chapter contains omakes, drabbles, randomness, pickles, and complete insanity. If you are offended by any of these things, especially the last two, please GTFO of my story and read something else.

Disclaimer: I used to own Naruto...but then I took an arrow to the knee. And the face. I had to sell the deed to it to pay for my medical bills...*emo music plays*

_**OMAKE SECTION**_

_Omake #1- Renda's Reason_

"Why so suspicious? Why can't one visit an old friend every once in a while?"

"Renda, that's bull, and you know it. I can see that greedy look in your eyes. Now tell me why you're here." Renda sighed.

"Always the serious one, eh? Fine. If you must know, I'm here to ask for your blessing to marry your friend May."

"They aren't _your_ blades anymore, Renda. They...Wait...Back the f**k up. Did you just say 'to ask for my blessing to marry May'?" Aaron asked with a raised eyebrow. Renda nodded.

"She is quite the looker, and has already won my heart from afar. She looks like an angel who came down to earth for the sole purpose of winning my heart." Aaron facepalmed.

"First off, dude, F**K NO. There's no way I'm letting her marry a psycho. Second of all, I'm pretty f**king sure she doesn't want to marry some weird dude she doesn't even know, who, by the way, is a f**king STALKER!" Aaron jabbed a finger into Renda's gut. Renda hung his head low.

"Awww..." Renda walked off. Aaron blinked.

"Why do I get the feeling that I just stopped the conflict that was the main point of this entire story's creation?"

**Author's Secret Story Room**

"MOTHERF**KER!"

_Omake #2- Why Jiraiya Writes Smut_

Jiraiya and Rich were hanging out at some random bar in Konoha. As it turns out, Jiraiya is actually somewhat of a lightweight. Rich is no longer a lightweight, and can drink about 4 bottles before getting completely shitfaced.

"You know...I used to (urk) used to write regular novels until my first (hic) my first time..." Jiraiya said with a drunken slur.

"Really? What happened to make you write smut 24/7?" Rich asked with a small blush on his face.

"Well..." Jiraiya looked around.

"Can you (hic) keep a secret?" Rich shrugged. Jiraiya leaned over and whispered something in Rich's ear, causing said blonde to start holding his sides, laughing like crazy.

**The Next Day**

(Guide: ... equals laughter)

"So...wait-wait-wait...Jiraiya...of the Sannin...who gets the Japanese version of a boner all the time...is a f**king impotent!" May shouted. She and Aaron both fell to the ground laughing.

"Not only that...but...he got a limp d**k...on his first time!" They started laughing again.

**Konoha Hot Springs**

'_I suddenly feel the urge to be emo and slit my wrists..._'

**Uchiha Clan Compound**

"ACHOO!"

"Sasuke, put something warm on. I don't want you catching a cold." Mikoto scolded.

"Yes, mom..."

_Omake #3- May's love of Pickles_

"Pickles, pickles, I love pickles! Yay!" May sang as she pulled three pickles out from a fridge.

"Imouto...why are you singing about pickles?" Hinata asked.

"Because I love pickles!" She chirped. To prove her point, May took all of the pickles and downed them quickly.

"O-kaayyyy, then...May I have one?" May shot a glare at Hinata that would've made Itachi scream like a little bitch.

**Uchiha Clan Compound**

"Why do I have the sudden urge to massacre again, only this time, it's the Hyuuga?"

**Hyuuga Clan Compound**

"**NO!**" She shouted in a demonic sounding voice.

"**NO ONE BUT I MAY HAVE THE PRECIOUSSSSSSSS!**" May hissed. Hinata back up against a wall, and then promptly ran for her life. May took the pickle jar, quickly screwed the lid back on, and then rubbed said jar against her cheek.

"There, there, precious...it's okay...they can't take you as long as I'm here..."

_Omake #4- When Jiraiya Finds out About Aaron's New Book_*

**A week After Aaron's book came out**

Jiraiya walked down the streets of Konoha, whistling a happy tune while spinning a kunai on his index finger.

'_Time to get my #1 author's weekly prize!_' He thought happily. Yes, he does get a prize for being the number one author in the Elemental Nations. A weekly prize was set up by the Five Great Shinobi villages back in the time of the Shodaime Hokage. The author of the #1 book in the elemental nations would receive a weekly gift for being the #1 author until another came and took their place. Jiraiya walked into _Kono & Ha's Bookstore_, and went straight up to the counter.

"Hello, I'm here to pick up my weekly prize from the _Bestseller Author's Book Club_." He said.

"May I see your ninja ID please?" The female receptionist asked. Jiraiya gladly handed it over. The receptionist swiped the card through one of those credit card...scanner...things...F**K, I DON'T KNOW WHAT THEY'RE CALLED! Anyways, the lady handed Jiraiya back his ID.

"I'm sorry sir, but you aren't the number one author in the Nations anymore." Jiraiya's jaw dropped and hit the ground with a resounding _clang_.

"WHAT? WHO THE HELL TOOK MY PLACE?" He shouted.

"Sir, please refrain from yelling. This bookstore also doubles as a library." Jiraiya huffed and crossed his arms over his chest.

"So who took my place?" The receptionist didn't even look at him as she held up a copy of _The Legend of the Hero_.

"The man who wrote this book." Jiraiya immediately fainted after reading the name. The receptionist sighed, got up, and dragged Jiraiya outside the book store, leaving him on the curb.

**30 Minutes Later**

Jiraiyaa woke up, thinking he had had a nightmare. That is, until he saw a poster for Aaron's new book.

'_Come read an epic tale of adventure and romance in the #1 book in the elemental nations,_'

It then had a big picture of _Legend of the Hero_ below the text, and said,

'_**THE LEGEND OF THE HERO!**_

_By Uchiha Hiroshi_'

'_No...It's not possible...Smut wins EVERY time!_' He said mentally, still in shock from his discovery. Aaron walked past Jiraiya, whistling the same tune that Jiraiya had before.

"Oh, hey Jiraiya. Something wrong?"

_Omake #5- Naruto's Bloodlines_*

**1 day after the events of the previous chapter** (A/N: Not the previous _omake_, the previous chapter, as in chapter eight.)

Aaron had decided to take a walk down the streets near Konoha, as the sun was shining and birds were tweeting. He was about to pass by Ichiraku Ramen, when he stopped, looked, and saw Naruto and Hinata sitting in two chairs right beside each other. He grew a devious smirk, and disappeared in a flash of light.

**With Naruto and Hinata**

"So what'll you have today, Hinata-san?" Ayame asked. Hinata thought for a moment.

"I-I'll have one shrimp ramen please." Ayame looked at Naruto.

"And you, Naruto-kun?"

"The usual, 'Yame-chan!" Ayame nodded, wrote down their orders, and left to give them to Teuchi.

"Well looky here, it seems the wolf found the fox and his vixen on a date..." Aaron's voice called from behind them. They both turned around to see Aaron standing upside down on the ceiling.

"AHH!" Naruto yelled, having been startled by Aaron's sudden appearance. Aaron landed down gracefully, and held up a hand lazily in greeting.

"Yo." He walked over and sat down at the bar, picking up a menu. Ayame came back, delivering Naruto and Hinata their orders, then looked at him with a notepad in hand.

"I'll have two beef ramen, two miso ramen, one veggie ramen, and one chicken ramen please. Also, could I get jalapenos in all of them?" Ayame nodded while scribbling down words, then left to hand the order to her father. Aaron looked around patiently, but stopped when he looked at Naruto.

'_I'm sensing some kind of energy coming from him...Strange...it feels kind of like the type of energy a dojutsu has..._' Naruto looked and saw Aaron staring at him quizzically.

"Ano...Aaron-san? Why are you staring at me?" Aaron snapped out of his daze.

"Oh, I just was thinking about things."

"What kind of things?" Aaron put a finger to his chin for a second.

"Could I talk to Kyuubi for a second?" Naruto nodded, and a tendril made of light stretched the sleeve of Aaron's tee, connecting to Naruto's forehead. (I'm not going to have a mindscape scene in this omake, just to keep it short. There will be one in the next chapter."

**20 Seconds Later**

The tendril pulled back into Aaron's sleeve, and he grinned.

"Well, Naruto, I've got a surprise for you. Guess."

"Um...ramen?"

"No."

"Um...ramen?"

"NO."

"Um...ramen?"

"NO."

"Umm...ramen?"

"**FOR THE LOVE OF GOD AND ALL THAT IS HOLY, IT'S NOT F**KING RAMEN!**" He shouted as a large red tick mark appeared on his forehead. Naruto, Hinata, and everyone within a 15 yard radius all flinched.

"Sorry, it's just, if it's not ramen the first three times, why would it be the fourth time?" Naruto shrugged. Aaron grew a dark cloud over his head, and began mumbling.

"I'm going to ask Minato if Anko and I can get all the biased teachers at the academy a nice stay at the T&I Hotel..." He muttered. Aaron turned back to Naruto.

"I give up." The blonde said.

"You have a couple of bloodlines, three to be exact."

"So?" Aaron facepalmed.

"Do you even know what a bloodline is?"

"Yeah, it's one of those things Sasuke-teme has where it's something special only you and certain other people can do." Aaron nodded.

"And you have THREE of them! Do you know how rare that is!" Naruto shook his head no. Aaron sighed.

"Let's just say, there's a bigger chance of you being to regrow a limb." Naruto's eyes widened.

"WOW!"

"Do you want to know how I know about all of this?" The boy nodded his head excitedly.

"Technically, I have eight bloodlines."

"NANI!"

_**DRABBLES SECTION**_

_Pocky_

Aaron and Itachi LOVE pocky.

...

Let me repeat.

They _**LOVE**_ pocky.

Whoever takes their pocky...dies.

In fact, they both keep their pocky supplies locked up in a 24-section titanium vault that has 12 sections for each of them with a DDR passcode and retinal, vocal, follicular (hair), and blood scanners for maximum protection. They both also like tea.

Aaron actually loves pocky almost as much as his wives.

One time, when Kisame tried to take a piece of Itachi's pocky, Kisame had to see psychiatrist for 6 months after Itachi trapped him in a genjutsu of yaoi. Actually, a different psychiatrist each day because Kakuzu killed each one for making him have to pay money.

*shudder* Ew...You do NOT want to get trapped in THAT genjutsu! That is, if you don't LIKE yaoi.

Pocky is to Itachi and Aaron as ramen is to Naruto, dango is to Anko, pickles are to May, and cinnamon rolls are to Hinata. In short, do anything to their pocky, and you're as f**ked as a snowflake in the deepest pits of hell.

_Insanity_

(puts on british accent)

We all know very well how the stories of this author turn out. There is always random humor, there's at least five instances of jokes per every 3 chapters, be they pervy or not, there's always some kind of reference in nearly each chapter, and there's also some puns. But we all have to wonder: what goes on inside his head? Well, to tell you what goes on inside my head, I'd need ten whiteboards, five dry-erase markers, twelve hours of alone time, and a pig. I'm just kidding. But I'll go a little bit in depth here.

*pulls up a chart with models of different brains and takes out laser pointer*

*clears throat and points to regular brain* First, you have the sane person's mind. The sane human's mind is quite like a 50-piece jigsaw puzzle that a college student has to finish in 2 hours. It's very easy to figure out. Next slide. *slide changes*

*points to brain with small grin on it* Then you have the slightly crazy person's mind. This kind of mind is like a 250-piece puzzle that a high school student has to finish in 1 ½ hours. It's a little bit harder to solve. Next slide. *slide changes again*

*points to brain with crazy grin on it* _Then_ there's the crazy person's mind. It's like a 1000-piece puzzle that a middle school student has to solve in 45 minutes. It's much, much harder now, right? Next slide. *slide changes*

*points to brain with _really_ insane grin on it that has sharper than normal canines* Finally, you have the type of mind yours truly has; a completely insane mind. This kind of mind is like a 5000 piece jigsaw puzzle that a 4th grader has to solve in 10 minutes. It's extremely difficult to figure out, much less understand. You see, the insane mind has something that no other kind of mind has. The other minds retain their original properties, where they work like a clockwise turning clock at separate speeds. It's possible to tell what time it is with them, so to speak. But the insane mind, it is like a small clock that goes semi-counter-counterclockwise while facing a mirror and being upside down. This is what allows for a greater use of the human imagination, as well as a boost to the body's energy reserves, creating a much happier, though somewhat creepier persona. Next slide. *slide changes to a screen with the words _THE END_ on it*

That is all. Thank you for listening.

_Perverts_

We all know that in anime, old men are usually perverts, right? We also know that, in anime, when perverts get aroused, instead of getting a boner or whatever, they get a nosebleed instead, right? Well...why?

Many theories have been created as to why perverts in anime get nosebleeds instead of other things.

Theories such as:

Because anime eyes are larger than regular cartoon eyes, the sinuses are smaller, causing the sinuses to burst and blood to flow out whenever the eyes widen after seeing something arousing.

Japan has its own way of perverted humor and this is part of it.

Anime is completely different from regular cartoons because anime doesn't suck, and therefore, certain things such as signs of arousal and divine woman justice are different from their sucky counterparts.

No one actually knows the reasons behind anime perverts getting nosebleeds because of arousal instead of boners, and other things I can't mention because this entire story is Rated T (that means NO lemons because I suck at writing them. One of the chapters of All the Birds of Akatsuki can attribute to that.) Well, if the Japanese do, they sure as hell aren't telling. So if you want to know why, you're SOL .

That was chapter nine, and the next will come out sometime in the next millennium! Just kidding! It'll come out soon!

**~Jinso-kun**


	10. Bloodlines, Authors, and Perversity

Here's Jinso, and with chapter ten this time! W00T!

...*shudder*

I am NEVER going to do that again!

Anyways, let's do the chapter already! Also, I have changed a something from each of the omakes that were 'trailers' to parts of this chapter.

COFB Chapter 10- Bloodlines, Authors, and Perversity

**A few days after Aaron's book came out**

Jiraiya walked down the streets of Konoha, whistling a happy tune while spinning a kunai on his index finger.

'_Time to get my #1 author's weekly prize!_' He thought happily. Yes, he does get a prize for being the number one author in the Elemental Nations. A weekly prize was set up by the Five Great Shinobi villages back in the time of the Shodaime Hokage. The author of the #1 book in the elemental nations would receive a weekly gift for being the #1 author until another came and took their place. Jiraiya walked into _Kono & Ha's Bookstore_, and went straight up to the counter.

"Hello, I'm here to pick up my weekly prize from the _Bestseller Author's Book Club_." He said.

"May I see your ninja ID please?" The female receptionist asked. Jiraiya gladly handed it over. The receptionist swiped the card through one of those credit card...scanner...things...F**K, I DON'T KNOW WHAT THEY'RE CALLED! Anyways, the lady handed Jiraiya back his ID.

"I'm sorry sir, but you aren't the number one author in the Nations anymore." Jiraiya's jaw dropped and hit the ground with a resounding _clang_.

"WHAT? WHO THE HELL TOOK MY PLACE?" He shouted.

"Sir, please refrain from yelling. This bookstore also doubles as a library." Jiraiya huffed and crossed his arms over his chest.

"So who took my place?" The receptionist didn't even look at him as she held up a copy of _The Legend of the Hero_.

"The man who wrote this book." Jiraiya immediately fainted after reading the name. The receptionist sighed, got up, and dragged Jiraiya outside the book store, leaving him on the curb.

**30 Minutes Later**

Jiraiya woke up, thinking he had had a nightmare. That is, until he saw a poster for Aaron's new book.

'_Come read an epic tale of adventure in the #1 book in the elemental nations,_'

It then had a big picture of _Legend of the Hero_ below the text, and said,

'_**THE LEGEND OF THE HERO **__by Uchiha Hiroshi!_'

'_No...It's not possible...Smut wins EVERY time!_' He said mentally, still in shock from his discovery. Aaron walked past Jiraiya, whistling the same tune that Jiraiya had before.

"Oh, hey Jiraiya. Something wrong?" Jiraiya immediately got up and ran over to Aaron.

"HOW COULD YOU TAKE MY PLACE!" He yelled, pointing to the poster. Aaron raised an eyebrow.

"Your pla-Oh, that!" He realized as he looked where Jiraiya was pointing. Aaron shrugged.

"I just wanted to write a book. I didn't really expect it to become number one." Jiraiya looked ready to blow a gasket. His eyes were blood red, his face was a pale red, and steam was coming out of his ears.

"What type of book is it!"

"Poetry."

_Snap!_

Jiraiya was almost over the edge.

"PLEASE tell me there's at least ONE mention of smut in there! **PLEASE!**" Aaron shook his head no.

"_OVERLOAD! OVERLOAD! TEMPORARY SHUTDOWN IMMINENT!_" A mechanical voice rang in Jiraiya's head. He immediately tipped over and fell to the ground. Aaron stared at him for a moment, shrugged, then walked inside the bookstore.

**Inside the Bookstore**

Aaron walked straight up to the counter.

"Hello. I'm here for my weekly bonus, please." He handed the receptionist his ID card, and she replied,

"Ah, yes, Mr. Uchiha. Here it is." She handed over a medium-small burlap sack with something inside it that sounded oddly not like coins, but like some kind of metal. He thanked her, and then walked out and towards his house. Once home, he took out the items that were inside the sack. There was a pair of clawed metal gauntlets inside, with the kanji for 'The Best' on the backs of them. Aaron chuckled.

"Suck on that, Jiraiya..." He muttered.

"I thank the Log for my success." Aaron then said, holding his hands above him like in worship.

**1 Day Later**

Aaron had decided to take a walk down the streets near Konoha, as the sun was shining and birds were tweeting. He was about to pass by Ichiraku Ramen, when he stopped, looked, and saw Naruto and Hinata sitting in two chairs right beside each other. He grew a devious smirk, and disappeared in a flash of light.

**With Naruto and Hinata**

"So what'll you have today, Hinata-san?" Ayame asked. Hinata thought for a moment.

"I-I'll have one shrimp ramen please." Ayame looked at Naruto.

"And you, Naruto-kun?"

"The usual, 'Yame-chan!" Ayame nodded, wrote down their orders, and left to give them to Teuchi.

"Well, looky here. It seems the wolf found the fox and his vixen on a date..." Aaron's voice called from behind them. They both turned around to see Aaron standing upside down on the ceiling.

"AHH!" Naruto yelled, having been startled by Aaron's sudden appearance. Aaron landed down gracefully, and held up a hand lazily in greeting.

"Yo." He walked over and sat down at the bar, picking up a menu. Ayame came back, delivering Naruto and Hinata their orders, then looked at him with a notepad in hand.

"I'll have two beef ramen, two miso ramen, one veggie ramen, and one chicken ramen please. Also, could I get jalapenos in all of them?" Ayame nodded while scribbling down words, then left to hand the order to her father. Aaron looked around patiently, but stopped when he looked at Naruto.

'_I'm sensing some kind of energy coming from him...Strange...it feels kind of like the type of energy a dojutsu has..._' Naruto looked and saw Aaron staring at him quizzically.

"Ano...Aaron-san? Why are you staring at me?" Aaron snapped out of his daze.

"Oh, I just was thinking about things."

"What kind of things?" Aaron put a finger to his chin for a second.

"Could I talk to Kyuubi for a second?" Naruto nodded, and a tendril made of light stretched the sleeve of Aaron's tee, connecting to Naruto's forehead.

**Naruto's Mindscape**

"Hey, Kyu-chan, you there?" Aaron called out. He was standing in a lush meadow, which had a lake that was connected to a sparkling waterfall, a mini Konoha, a small but luxurious cottage, and...was that a Naruto plushy? Kyuubi immediately emerged from the lake.

"Yeah, I'm here. What's up?"

"Can you check Naruto's DNA for me? I have a theory about something, but I'm not sure if it's correct." Kyuubi nodded, then entered a cave that appeared out of nowhere. She came back holding a green scroll, and handed it Aaron, who then took out a pair of fake reading glasses and put them on.

"I thought you had 20/15 vision?" (A/N: True fact.)

"I do, but the reading glasses adds to the scholarly effect." Kyuubi nodded in understanding.

"Well, that's interesting." He mumbled. Aaron then handed the scroll back to Kyuubi, and then exited Naruto's mind.

**Real World, 20 seconds later**

The tendril pulled back into Aaron's sleeve, and he grinned.

"Well, Naruto, I've got a surprise for you. Guess."

"Um...ramen?"

"No."

"Um...ramen?"

"NO."

"Um...ramen?"

"NO."

"Umm...ramen?"

"**FOR THE LOVE OF GOD AND ALL THAT IS F**KING HOLY, IT'S NOT F**KING RAMEN!**" He shouted as a large red tick mark appeared on his forehead. Naruto, Hinata, and everyone within a 15 yard radius all flinched.

"Sorry, it's just, if it's not ramen the first three times, why would it be the fourth time?" Naruto shrugged. Aaron grew a dark cloud over his head, and began mumbling.

"I'm going to ask Minato if Anko and I can get all the biased teachers at the academy a nice stay at the T&I Hotel..." He muttered. Aaron turned back to Naruto.

"I give up." The blonde said.

"You have a couple of bloodlines, three to be exact."

"So?" Aaron facepalmed.

"Do you even know what a bloodline is?"

"Yeah, it's one of those things Sasuke-teme has where it's something special only you and certain other people can do." Aaron nodded.

"And you have THREE of them! Do you know how rare that is!" Naruto shook his head no. Aaron sighed.

"Let's just say, there's a WAY better chance of you being able to regrow a limb." Naruto's eyes widened.

"WOW!"

"Do you want to know how I know about all of this?" The boy nodded his head excitedly.

"Technically, I have eight bloodlines."

"NANI!" Aaron nodded.

"You have three. The first is a temporal and spatial manipulation bloodline-"

"Heh?"

"You can teleport."

"Cool!"

"This comes from your father. It's called _Jikkūton_ (Time and Space Release)."

"The second is Uzuton (Whirlpool Release). This comes from your mother. You can manipulate water from any source, even the air, and control it using your chakra."

"So what's the third blood-thingy?" Aaron chuckled.

"'Blood-thingy'. That could definitely make a few Hyuuga get red-faced." He muttered jokingly.

"Anyways, the third one...I'm not going to tell you just yet. Come by the Uchiha compound later and you'll find out."

"Ok! I'll be there, dattebayo!" Aaron grinned and chuckled. When his food came, he quietly ate, paid the check, and then left for the T&I Department.

**T&I Department Main Building**

"So what have we got here?" Aaron asked with a stick of pocky in between his teeth.

"This guy's apparently a jonin named Tunare Yoshiro who was found attempting to murder Uzumaki Naruto a few days ago." Morino Ibiki explained. Aaron raised an eyebrow.

"Seriously? He knew that the kid was a shinobi, and contained the freakin' nine-tails, and yet he still tried to murder him?" He asked. Ibiki shrugged.

"Either he's got the biggest set of brass balls anyone's ever seen, or he's just dumb as shit." Aaron chuckled.

"I'd go with the latter."

"Hokage-sama said you're working this case because you can empathize with the gaki." Aaron nodded.

"Well, then," He took out the pocky stick.

"Leave me alone with him. I can promise that you'll see results." Ibiki nodded, and Aaron walked into the interrogation room.

**Interrogation Room**

"Oh, look, another fucking demon come to scare me." Yoshiro mocked. Aaron simply took his pocky stick, and began chewing on it.

"You must be too afraid to even do anything, you spineless demon!" Aaron glanced the man's way, and raised an eyebrow, but went back to chewing his pocky.

"I bet the only reason those whores married you was for the sex!" That struck the last nerve, but Aaron stayed calm as he took the pocky stick out of his mouth, and then started chewing on a metal senbon instead. When he took it out, the end that had been in his mouth was red-hot, like someone had heated it with fire.

"As you might know, I'm from the Uchiha clan. Our genetically passed down affinity is fire. Now, a senbon is commonly used as a medical tool, and is a piercing object." Aaron walked over to Yoshiro, who was tied up in a chair.

"So, what do you think would happen if you added fire to a senbon?" He then stuck the senbon in the man's skin, causing him to howl with pain.

"Ha! If you think a little bit of acupuncture is going to hurt, you're stupid, DEMON!" Aaron just grinned. He took 12 more senbon, super-heated them, and stuck them in various pressure points on his upper body, eliciting more screams of agony.

"I've just stuck super-heated senbon into all of your major pressure points. Now, senbon's made of metal, correct?" He got only a glare in response.

"Isn't metal a conductor?" He channeled lightning chakra into one senbon, which caused electricity to arc from that one to another, and so on and so forth until all of the senbon had been struck with lightning. Yoshiro immediately slumped when the electricity disappeared.

"Now I've disabled your nervous system, so you can't do shit for the next hour." The look of confidence on Yoshiro's face grew smaller while Aaron's sadistic grin grew larger.

"So why don't we have some fun? If you want me to stop, the magic word is 'Ookami'." (Wolf) Aaron then summoned Kage.

"Kage, poison, non-lethal." He commanded. Kage nodded, and then sang his poison covered fangs into Yoshiro's arm, making the jonin scream out in horrible pain.

"Ready to give yet?"

"F-F-Fuck you, d-demon!"

"I was hoping you'd say that." Aaron flipped through hand signs, landing on Tora (Tiger).

"Keiton: Bīmutsuki (Light Release: Piercing Beams)" He pointed a finger a Yoshiro, and multiple beams of light came out and pierced the poisoned areas, making him once more howl.

"The poison Kage used is sensitive to focused light, so you're in for quite a ride." Aaron then walked out the door to ask Ibiki something.

"Am I allowed to kill him?" Ibiki shrugged.

"Hokage-sama said to go the whole nine yards." *rimshot* Aaron grinned.

"Good. Give me ten minutes and then clean up his corpse." He left to go back in, but paused.

"Make sure to get people that _won't_ puke _no matter what_ to clean this up." Then he went in, and blood-curdling screams could indeed be heard for the next ten minutes. Then Aaron walked out, holding a bloodstained scroll that had every piece of information he had heard from the man written on it.

"That should tell you everything that happened between the two." He said, dropping the scroll into Ibiki's hand. The scarred Tokubetsu Jonin nodded and Aaron left for home, and then the hot springs.

**Hot Springs**

Aaron climbed right in on the male's side, sighing as the steaming water covered.

"Man, I don't think we _ever_ had something as great as this back in the United States!" He exclaimed happily. Aaron was wearing a pair of black and gold swim trunks, and had a towel resting on his forehead.

**3 Hours Later**

"That was _so_ relaxing..." He murmured as he stretched his limbs after getting out of the water. Aaron was about to walk home, but he stopped in thought.

'_Just a random thought, but I wonder if I should join the ANBU?_' He asked himself.

"**You could definitely pull it off.**" Even though Akahana had separated from him, he had still retained a mental link with her.

'_...Nah, too much work..._' He left for home to get changed, and then went to the Uchiha Training Grounds to meet Naruto.

**Training Grounds**

"Hey, Naruto! You ready to find out your third bloodline?" He called out to the blond jinchuriki. Naruto nodded excitedly. Aaron then took out a piece of chakra paper.

"Now, I want you to channel a bit of chakra into this piece of paper." Naruto nodded, and did as he was told. The paper sliced itself in half, and one half split into another half, where one of those halves crinkled, while the other quarter dampened. The entire whole half that remained looked a little bit dusty, but mostly the same.

"Naruto, you have four affinities; water, wind, lightning, and earth." Naruto was confused.

"Earth? How do I have earth?" Aaron chuckled.

"Pick up the whole half of the paper for me." Naruto raised an eyebrow, but did it. When he did, half of the paper split vertically down the width (the _very_ thin piece that's not the length or height) turned to dust and crumbled.

"Whoa!" He exclaimed.

"You have a very strong affinity for earth. This is part of your last kekkei genkai. It mixes your wind and earth chakra to create something never before seen. Do you know how I know this?" Naruto shook his head no.

"Back in the days of my homeworld, kekkei genkai, or as we called them, '_dur'as_', meaning '_divine gifts_', were actually fairly common. The people of my homeworld were blessed by the gods, including me, and were given special abilities. The god llyon, whose reincarnation I am, reigned over the heavens above. There is, in fact, only one person who I could have trouble fighting. Their name, or should I say, _her_ name, is _Ril_, or as some may call her, Time." Naruto's eyes bulged.

"This lesson goes back a while. There was one male elf by the name of Ken'gas, who was actually born ugly and horrid, despised by all but the gods. He was like you, ostracized for what he was and/or looked like. Despite that, he never gave up on his dreams. His dream was to someday die a happy man with a loving family with him. Seeing as how he was, us gods took pity on him, and all conversed. Along with Ril, we decided to give him a gift that always embodied his and our will. We gave him a special bloodline that only the truly worthy could have; one that embodied the will and power inside it's user, as well as the gods. We gave him the power of the heavens; Tenton." Naruto gasped with insurmountable excitement. Aaron took out a scroll, and unsealed something from inside it. What came out was a blade.

Oh, but this was no ordinary blade. The pommel was a beautiful, and flawlessly cut, diamond. Leading up, the hilt had a warm, chocolate brownie-type brown cloth that wrapped around it. The guard of the blade was in the shape of two pointed bird wings going out, made of intricately carved gold. Even the streamline pattern was flawless! The blade was very wide at the guard, but thinned out a little and continued to a three-point end. The blade itself was made of some type of metal that looked gold at times, bronze at some, and silver at others. In a small crevice in the middle of the blade, the words '_Ryōten to jou o shihai, Kaminoken_' were carved in a fine metallic black. Aaron then presented the blade to Naruto.

"This is yours to keep. You are the last remaining wielder of the Tenton besides me. And besides, you have certainly earned it." Naruto was about to pass out. Was this all a dream?

"Here is a technique I am going to teach you; _Tenton: Ryuuseiu_." (Heaven Release: Meteor Shower) Aaron showed Naruto the hand signs for it; Monkey, Dragon, Snake, and Bird.

"Now test it out." Naruto nodded and formed the hand seals.

"Tenton: Ryuuseiu!" As if they were dogs beckoned by their master, a dozen small meteors came hurtling towards the earth. Aaron waved his hand, and they all disappeared.

"Great job. Now I want you to head home, and study sealing, as well as show your dad your new bloodline, got it?" Naruto nodded happily, hugging Aaron. He just ruffled the blonde's hair.

"Well, you better get going!" Naruto then ran off to the Namikaze Compound to find his dad. Aaron then walked into his house, and promptly slept, which this author **REALLY** wishes to do, but he must continue on with the story.

**5 Hours Later**

"We're home!" Te-ru called out as he and his brothers and sister entered the compound. They could hear a light snoring sound coming from their father's bedroom. They all walked in to see Aaron curled up under the covers.

"Dad, get up!" Kagi said as he shook his father's shoulders. Aaron lazily tried to brush Kagi's hand away, mumbling,

"Leave me alone; I wanna sleep..." All four of them sweatdropped. Kagi then shook his dad intensely, causing Aaron to spring out of bed and get into a fighting stance.

"Whoever the hell you are, if you touch my pocky, I'll-Oh, it's just you guys." He said. They all sweatdropped again. He rubbed his head sheepishly.

"Sorry about that. I was catching some Z's after torturing an idiot and killing him, then helping a blonde fox summon down meteors from outer space." They just stared at him.

"I'm not as delusional as I sound, believe me." They all just looked around absentmindedly. Kinu's eyes landed on Aaron's hardcover copy of _The Legend of the Hero_.

"Hey, dad, can I read that book you have?" She asked. Aaron nodded. Kinu immediately picked it up and began reading, her eyes zooming across the pages.

"Dad, where did you get the idea for this book? It's amazing!" Kinu asked, full of awe. Aaron grinned lightly.

"To tell you the truth...it happened to me..."

"Dad, there's no way that happened to you! The hero in there _died_!" Te-ru exclaimed, him and his brothers having read the book as well. Their father chuckled as a small tear fell from his eye.

"I _did_ die...I was the hero who faced the evil king...You see, back then, because I was Illyon, which I technically still am, I couldn't be in two places at once. I needed to govern the heavens, but the evil king needed to die as well. So I split my soul into two separate ones; one to take my place as a god, and one to be fight the evil king. Unfortunately, the two souls had to be linked, and since my earthly soul had to use the last of his power and die to save the world, my heavenly soul died as well. After death, the two merged together again, forming my regular self again." He looked out a window.

"Gods _can_ die, but we will always be reincarnated. We essentially will never _truly_ die." He chuckled again.

"The 'friend' who betrayed me was someone I grew up with by the name of Arinya (Ah-ree-nee-yuh). He always seemed kind and friendly, and never turned down an offer to help someone. But that was all just a façade, I guess..." He yawned.

"Well, I'm going back to sleep now. We'll train tomorrow, got it?" A chorus of "Hai!" erupted from the four children. Aaron nodded, got back in bed, and drifted off once more.

**A/N:** I am finding myself finishing this chapter during the nighttime, which makes me wonder, why the hell am I typing at night? Meh, I'll probably never know. Oh, well. No use crying over spilled milk...or in this case, partial insomnia. Also, it's my birthday today! Woohoo! Happy birthday to me! Anyways, see you all soon!

**~Jinso-kun**


	11. The Kages Meet! Praise the Log!

**DISCLAIMER: So far, I have no reason to state that I own Naruto. I also do not own any characters except for Aaron, Rich, May, Hansuke, etcetera, etcetera...**

Warning: Flamers will take an arrow to the knee, two bullets to the balls, one for each, and a laser beam to the face. Anyone who miraculously survives will be put through all that again, and will also have to watch _Viva Pinata_ over and over if they survive it again. Yeah, I'm that evil...

Chapter 11, here we come!

COFB Chapter 11- The Kages Meet! Praise the Log!

(A/N: This is an entire chapter dedicated to the almighty log. Those who are offended by such mention are blasphemers, and must leave unless they wish to die.)

* * *

><p><strong><span>Two days later<span>**

Aaron was sitting at his kitchen table, gratefully drinking a cup of coffee.

"Son of a bitch, I'm bored..." He muttered. Aaron looked around monotonically. It was 7:00AM, and there was nothing to do. Except maybe preparing for Renda to come. Eh, he could have _one_ more day of fun, couldn't he?

Suddenly, the air beside Aaron suddenly started shimmering, and Hansuke then appeared.

"Hey, 'Suke. It's been a while since we last talked, hasn't it?" Aaron muttered. Hansuke nodded.

"You bored?" The moon god asked.

"I'm sitting here at my kitchen table, drinking a cup of coffee, not doing anything badass instead, and you _actually_ ask me that?" Aaron replied sarcastically.

"Yes, yes I did ask you that. I have a solution, though." Aaron looked at him out of the corner of his eye.

"What?" He questioned.

"Karaoke." Aaron thought about it for a moment.

"It _has_ been a while since we did that."

"And I haven't gotten a chance to sing yet." Hansuke added.

"By the log, that does sound fun." He commented. Then he smirked.

"Sundown?"

"Sundown." They both nodded.

"Gather our closest friends. I have something important to tell them." Hansuke raised an eyebrow.

"What is it?" Aaron sighed.

"Well, 'Suke, about a week ago, I ran into an old acquaintance."

"Who?"

"It seems that everyone's favorite sword klepto is back, and crazier than ever."

"Renda's back? Jeez, is he _stalking_ you or something?" Aaron shrugged.

**The Super Hedonistic Incredible Totally Heinous Opressive Lair of Evil (Also known as The S.H.I.T.H.O.L.E)**

Renda felt an involuntary shiver creep down his spine.

"Who the hell just called me a _STALKER_!" He shouted. Renda _hmph_'d and folded his arms across his chest.

"I may be a _klepto_, but I'm NOT a _stalker_." He muttered.

**Uchiha Compound**

"I'm not even gonna guess. But anyways, we'll all meet at sundown and have a concert. Alright?" Hansuke nodded. He then shimmered out of existence to gather people.

**Sundown**

Minato Namikaze, Kushina Uzumaki, Anko, Akahana, Konan, Nagato, Aaruka, every one of the rookies, Ibiki, Mikoto, Bracxious, and practically everyone who Hansuke, Aaron, May, and Rich knew were all sitting outside a concert stage on a small hill inside the borders of Konoha. A sound barrier had been placed around the area they were in. The four best friends were all backstage.

"Ok, so, first, May can perform on her own, singing..." Aaron looked to May.

"Blackbirds." She said. Aaron nodded. They were all going to sing Linken Park songs.

"Then I'll sing Breaking the Habit." Hansuke told them. He was wearing a t-shirt that said, "Don't do drugs or you'll be royally f**ked."

"I'll sing What I've Done." Rich replied.

"Then I'll sing New Divide." Aaron finished. All four nodded in unison.

"Ok, let's go." May went off to prepare, Rich and Hansuke went to sit with the crowd, and Aaron walked out from the curtains.

"Ok, I want to thank you guys for coming here tonight. I figured a little bit of relaxation is in order because of what I'm about to announce." They all tensed.

"An old foe from my past has returned once more. I don't know what he is plotting, but it's bad. In the coming days, we're all probably going to be on edge and keeping our guards up, so I wanted for all of us to be able to have fun before we have to get serious. So just enjoy yourselves and watch the show." They clapped, and he backed up to let May come out with three shadow clones behind her. One was holding a bass guitar, one was at a drum set, and the last was holding an electric guitar. The band started playing, and May tapped her foot as the music began.

**Drop that / get up****  
><strong>**Take to the streets / better lock that kid up****  
><strong>**Face full of teeth when he hock that spit up****  
><strong>**Pacing the beat like a beast****  
><strong>**Rocking the block on repeat****  
><strong>**Speak from the cut like a rush of blood****  
><strong>**Paint red on the sleeves of the ones you love****  
><strong>**Lay the sick ones down and the bells will ring****  
><strong>**Put pennies on the eyes let the dead men sing**

**I shiver and shake the warm air cold****  
><strong>**I'm alone on my own****  
><strong>**In every mistake I dig this hole****  
><strong>**Through my skin and bones**

**It's harder starting over****  
><strong>**Than never to have changed**

**With Blackbirds following me****  
><strong>**I'm digging out my grave****  
><strong>**They close in, swallowing me****  
><strong>**The pain, it comes in waves****  
><strong>**I'm getting back what I gave**

**I sweat through the sheet as daylight fades****  
><strong>**As I waste away****  
><strong>**It traps me inside mistakes I've made****  
><strong>**That's the price I pay**

**It's harder starting over****  
><strong>**Than never to have changed**

**With Blackbirds following me****  
><strong>**I'm digging out my grave****  
><strong>**They close in, swallowing me****  
><strong>**The pain, it comes in waves****  
><strong>**I'm getting back what I gave**

**I drop to the floor like I did before****  
><strong>**Stop watching / I'm coughing / I can't be more****  
><strong>**What I want and what I need are at constant war****  
><strong>**Like a well full of poison / a rotten core****  
><strong>**The blood goes thin / the fever stings****  
><strong>**And I shake from the hell that the habits bring****  
><strong>**Let the sick ones down / the bells will ring****  
><strong>**Put pennies on the eyes / let the dead men sing**

Immense clapping was heard when May came backstage.

"You're up, 'Suke-kun!" Hansuke nodded, and he walked out.

"Anyone here have a habit?" He asked.

"Raise your hand if you do!" Everyone in the crowd did.

"Well, guess what? We're breaking them tonight!" Three clones popped into existence behind him, and they all grabbed instruments. Then the music started up.

**Memories consume like opening the wounds****  
><strong>**I'm picking me apart again****  
><strong>**You all assume****  
><strong>**I'm safe here in my room****  
><strong>**Unless I try to start again****  
><strong>**I don't want to be the one the battles always choose****  
><strong>**'cause inside I realize that I'm the one confused**

**I don't know what's worth fighting for****  
><strong>**Or why I have to scream****  
><strong>**I don't know why I instigate****  
><strong>**And say what I don't mean****  
><strong>**I don't know how I got this way****  
><strong>**I know it's not alright****  
><strong>**So I'm breaking the habit****  
><strong>**I'm breaking the habit tonight**

**Clutching my cure****  
><strong>**I tightly lock the door****  
><strong>**I try to catch my breath again****  
><strong>**I hurt much more than any time before****  
><strong>**I have no options left again****  
><strong>**I don't want to be the one the battles always choose****  
><strong>**'cause inside I realize that I'm the one confused**

**I don't know what's worth fighting for****  
><strong>**Or why I have to scream****  
><strong>**I don't know why I instigate****  
><strong>**And say what I don't mean****  
><strong>**I don't know how I got this way****  
><strong>**I'll never be alright****  
><strong>**So I'm breaking the habit****  
><strong>**I'm breaking the habit tonight**

**I'll paint it on the walls****  
><strong>**'cause I'm the one at fault****  
><strong>**I'll never fight again****  
><strong>**And this is how it ends**

**I don't know what's worth fighting for****  
><strong>**Or why I have to scream****  
><strong>**But now I have some clarity to show you what I mean****  
><strong>**I don't know how I got this way****  
><strong>**I'll never be alright****  
><strong>**So I'm breaking the habit****  
><strong>**I'm breaking the habit****  
><strong>**I'm breaking the habit tonight**

The music then finished. Clapping was heard once more. Hansuke walked backstage and smirked at Rich.

"Top that, blondie." Rich grinned.

"Gladly, moonshine." Hansuke growled a little. That nickname irritated him to no end. He did not like being called an alcoholic drink that pretty much sucked d**k in his eyes. Rich walked out.

"We've all done some things in our lives. Some of us have done terrible things that are hard to forgive. What I've done...just listen..." He also made three clones and the music started.

**In this farewell, There's no blood****  
><strong>**There's no alibi****  
><strong>**Cause I've drawn regret****  
><strong>**From the truth****  
><strong>**Of a thousand lies****  
><strong>**So let mercy come and wash away**

**What I've Done****  
><strong>**I'll face myself****  
><strong>**To cross out what I've become****  
><strong>**Erase myself****  
><strong>**and let go of what I've done**

**Put to rest, What you thought of me****  
><strong>**Well, I clean this slate****  
><strong>**With the hands, Of uncertainty****  
><strong>**So let mercy come, And Wash away**

**What I've Done****  
><strong>**I'll face myself****  
><strong>**To cross what I've become****  
><strong>**Erase myself****  
><strong>**And let go of what I've done**

**For what I've done****  
><strong>**I start again****  
><strong>**And whatever pain may come****  
><strong>**Today this ends****  
><strong>**I'm forgiving what I've done**

**I'll face myself****  
><strong>**To cross out what I've become****  
><strong>**Erase myself****  
><strong>**And let go of what I've done****  
><strong>**(Na,Na,Na)**

**What I've Done****  
><strong>**What I've Done****  
><strong>**Forgetting what I've done**

Rich got louder cheers than Hansuke, making the black-haired god scowl.

"Motherf**king sonova..." He began muttering curses under his breath. Rich came backstage, and he nodded. They all leapt through a trapdoor in the floor, and a large cloud of smoke appeared on the stage. Music started sounding out. A portion of the smoke disappeared, revealing May, who was playing a keyboard. Then Rich was shown as another bit of smoke vanished, playing drums. Finally, Hansuke and Aaron were shown as the rest of the smoke was gone. Hansuke was playing a bass guitar, while Aaron played an electric guitar.

**I remembered black skies  
>The lightning all around me<br>I remembered each flash  
>As time began to blur<br>Like a startling sign  
>That fate had finally found me<br>And your voice was all I heard  
>That I get what I deserve<strong>

So give me reason  
>To prove me wrong<br>To wash this memory clean  
>Let the floods cross the distance in your eyes<br>Give me reason  
>To fill this hole<br>Connect the space between  
>Let it be enough to reach the truth that lies<br>Across this new divide

**[ Lyrics from: .com/lyrics/l/linkin_park/new_ ]****  
>There was nothing in sight<br>But memories left abandoned  
>There was nowhere to hide<br>The ashes fell like snow  
>And the ground caved in<br>Between where we were standing  
>And your voice was all I heard<br>That I get what I deserve**

So give me reason  
>To prove me wrong<br>To wash this memory clean  
>Let the floods cross the distance in your eyes<br>Across this new divide

In every loss  
>In every lie<br>In every truth that you'd deny  
>And each regret<br>And each goodbye  
>Was a mistake too great to hide<br>And your voice was all I heard  
>That I get what I deserve<p>

So give me reason  
>To prove me wrong<br>To wash this memory clean  
>Let the floods cross the distance in your eyes<br>Give me reason  
>To fill this hole<br>Connect the space between  
>Let it be enough to reach the truth that lies<br>Across this new divide  
>Across this new divide<br>Across this new divide

Aaron walked out on stage again as everyone clapped.

"Thank you guys so much for coming here, and I just wanted to say that-" He was promptly cut off as a chunin came running over to where they were.

"Lord Namikaze! Strange creatures are approaching the village gates!" Everyone stood up. Various weapons were drawn; Minato drew a three-pronged kunai, Aaron drew two Dracailium kodachi, and Rich drew a Dracailium katana, and others drew what weapons they had on their persons.

"Let's go!" Minato Namikaze shouted. Everyone jumped away except for Aaron, Rich, and May. Well, May and Rich tried to jump away, but they stopped when Aaron didn't go.

"Why aren't you going?" May asked. Aaron grinned.

"I've got a special surprise prepared. Go ahead, I'll be there soon." They both nodded, and leapt off.

**Outside Konoha's Gates, 1000 meters away**

"**Warriorsss of darknesssss, fight in the name of our glorioussss masssster, Lord Renda!**" A shadow elemental hissed. Hundreds of black blobs, elementals, monsters, and animals charged towards the Village Hidden in the Leaves. Leaf Shinobi charged from the massive walls of the village.

"Kill these things!" A Jonin shouted. One massive roar erupted from the ninja. Minato Namikaze then appeared in a yellow streak before the monsters, holding his special kunai.

"Heh, this'll be a cinch." He said. A huge clash broke out amongst the forces as kunai met solid darkness, and blood was spilled. About an hour later, the darkness forces hadn't been dented in the least, and the Leaf was losing shinobi.

"Why won't these damned things die!" A chunin shouted. A dark laugh came from across the road. On the top of a boulder, a figure was standing there, laughing at them. He had lavender skin, long, pointy ears, white slicked-back hair, and evil yellow eyes. He was wearing a Dracula-style cape, complete with the top part that stood up, an "evil-eye" design on the back, and the kanji for "evil always finds a way" in the pupil of the evil eye. Underneath it, he wore a black trench coat, with daggers stuck in the pockets on the inside, and a smoke bomb in each as well.

"You really think you can beat them without much effort? Ha! These warriors were created by Lord Renda himself! They will not fall to your puny knives so easily!" He shouted. Then he grinned ferally.

"And if they actually do, I, Mal Campeón(1), general of my master's army, will take care of you myself!" He let out another cackle and the creatures moved forward again.

"Shit..." Ibiki cursed. Things were looking very grim for Konoha. Mal Campeón laughed again. Suddenly, a magnificent arrow of light came from the gates. Time slowed down as it was zooming through the enemy forces, leaving a straight path of felled enemies in the opposing forces. Everyone on Konoha's side turned to see Aaron standing there with a bow made of light in one hand that was lowered and a smirk on his face. The bow shimmered and dispersed into little shimmers that all disappeared. He then drew two kodachi, and became completely serious. Dramatic bad-ass moment music started playing.

"Let's do this." Turning into a golden blast, he shot forward into the enemy army. Streaking through them, he cut down multiple people, piling them all together, and stopping in a crouched position holding his kodachi in an epic pose. A golden circle of energy carved itself into the ground around him. Time slowed down once more as he turned into a streak again, and flew about the enemy forces with godly grace and speed, cutting the foes down swiftly and silently. When all but Mal Campeón were downed, he landed back inside the circle with a smirk on his face, and holding the two kodachi at his waist. He pointed the one in his right hand at Mal Campeón.

"Give up." He commanded. The evil general started sweating, but said,

"I will never give up! Darkness shall win!" Aaron took on a blank expression.

"Then die." In a golden flash, and he appeared in front of Mal Campeón, their swords clanging together. Shockwaves were being sent out from the supernatural force of the two. Forced back, both warriors separated from each other.

"If this is the best my master's greatest foe has to offer, he must've been deluded!" Aaron chuckled.

"You know, they say that, in death, you find out who you truly are. You've already found that out, though." In a single moment, he closed the gap between both of them and forced Mal Campeón back against a boulder with a cut across his torso.

"So the only thing left is for you to do is to die."

Aaron leaped back and plunged his two kodachi into the ground, then clapped his hands together.

"**Seiton: Baindingu Fantomu Te**." (Spirit Release: Binding Phantom Hands)

The two swords glowed a pale, sickly white. A rippling, white, smoke-like outline appeared around him, and plumes of it drifted up into the air. As though it was a scene from a horror movie, a group sickly, rotted hands appeared from the boulder behind Mal Campeón. Two clamped onto his left arm, two onto his right, and two on each leg.

"Any last words?"

"M-Mercy..." Aaron gave him a stony gaze.

"For the damned, there is no mercy." He drew a strange looking sword from his back. The hilt was a dark grey, almost black, kind of silvery color, and a red cloth was wrapped around it. Traveling up, the tsuba, or, guard, was an eight-pointed star shape. The blade was a katana, and was kind of like Zabuza's zanbato. It had a circular hole at one side of the metal, which left a gap between two parts of the outer edge. The entire shape of the blade itself was rectangular.

"Taste my zanpakuto!" He leaped forward, holding his blade out. Aaron quickly reached the boulder, and stabbed the evil general through his neck, causing him to spasm and blood to spill onto the sword. He then jumped onto the pile of bodies and flicked the blood off of his blade.

"Well that was fun, right?" He casually asked with a wide grin after sheathing the soul cutter. Everyone sweat-dropped.

"**RAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRGHHH!**" A demonic cry rang out. He turned around to see a massive creature rising from the earth. It was scaly and green, with a bunch of tentacles flowing around its mouth. It walked like a gorilla, and had two reptilian wings coming from its back.

"HOLY S**T, IT'S A CTHULU!" Someone screamed. Shinobi instantly began running back inside Konoha. Only Minato and a few others besides Aaron remained outside, including Endor, Kushina, Naruto, Itachi, Hansuke, and Sasuke. Aaron held a hand up.

"Watch and learn, kiddies. _This_ is how you become a badass."

"I'm older than you, you know!" Minato protested. Aaron gave him an 'are-you-fucking-kidding-me' look.

"Bitch, please, you're 3000 years _too young_ to say that." The elder Namikaze 'hmph'd.

"Fine." Aaron grinned.

"Bring it on!" He charged at the cthulu with a burst of chakra, unsheathing his zanpakuto and jumping in the air.

"**Katon: Goukakyu**** no Jutsu**!" (Fire Release: Grand Fireball Technique) A massive ball of flames rained down upon the cthulu. The worst it did was it singed the beast's skin, causing it to go into a fit of rage, destroying everything around it.

"Shit...It's going to destroy Konoha..." He grasped his katana in one hand, and swung it from upper left to bottom right after leaping out of the way and into the air above the monster.

"**Let the world gaze at your shining beauty****, Amaterasu!**" A golden light encased the blade as he swung it, creating cascading shockwaves of energy that pounded the cthulu. His zanpakuto transformed into a longer and much bigger sword that was more curved. The width of the blade was thickened so that it was now a dual-edged Chinese scimitar with a golden edge and an engraving of a silver and bronze dragon on both blades, which faced opposite of each other's directions. The image of a yellow Sin-you(2) covered the blade and he rotated himself so that he was upside down and right up the cthulu. Aaron began spinning, as did that image of the Sin-you, and he violently shot himself in front of the beast, and then towards it.

"Shi-ne!" (Means: "Die!" or "Fuck you!") The Sin-you's image grew much larger, also covering Aaron. The massive horn of it then pierced the cthulu's heart, ending its life. He burst out of its back, and landed on the ground, the giant carcass slumping forward.

"**Seal**." Aaron commanded, sending his zanpakuto into its sealed state again.

"Sonovabitch..." He started muttering oaths under his breath.

"It was SO f**king hard to get the guts out last time!" He then yelled to the heavens. He brushed his hand off on his clothes, and then sheathed Amaterasu. Aaron then started whistling as he walked back into Konoha casually.

**2 Hours Later, Hokage's Office**

"So...why am I here?" Aaron drawled. He was standing in front of Minato Namikaze with Kakashi beside him.

"There is an upcoming Kage summit to discuss about this Renda person you have spoken of, Aaron-san." The eldest Namikaze said. Aaron smirked.

"On one condition: I get to kick at least one person's ass." He said.

"Granted." Kakashi then nodded.

"I accept, Hokage-sama." He said.

"Good. We are leaving tomorrow." Aaron and Kakashi nodded.

"You are dismissed." Kakashi shunshined away, but Aaron stayed.

"Is there something you need, Aaron-san?"

"Yes, there is. I was wondering if I could have Naruto come over to my house for a bit. I have an idea about something, but I need him to confirm it." Minato raised an eyebrow.

"Really? What?"

"I think something happened to him back when he was younger, and I need to check him out to see if anything is wrong. If I'm right, Anko and Ibiki will have a bunch of new friends to hang out with..." A blazing fire suddenly burned in the Hokage's eyes.

"Let's go see him now." They both nodded, and streaked away, Aaron in a black streak, and Minato in a gold streak.

**Namikaze Clan Mansion**

"Okay, Naruto I want you to take off your shirt for a second." Minato said.

"Why?" The boy asked, cocking his head.

"We need to check something for a second." Naruto nodded.

"Okay." He lifted up his shirt and took it off. Aaron studied Naruto's face for a moment.

"Naruto, why are you wearing a mask?" He questioned. Minato stopped.

"A mask? He's not wearing a mask..."

"No, I meant an _emotional_ mask. Why are you wearing one, Naruto?" The jinchuriki looked down sadly.

"I had to keep it up to make the villagers think I wasn't a threat. I guess I just got so used to wearing it, that I didn't know to stop." Aaron nodded.

"I know that feeling all too well. But I think it's time to show Konoha the real you, ok?" Naruto nodded and grinned.

"Hai, Aaron-san. No more holding back!" Aaron then grinned back at him, chuckling.

"Good. Trust me when I say that it was getting a little bit too annoying." Minato then let out a cry of frustration.

"What kind of fucking seal is this?" He yelled. Aaron went behind Naruto and studied the nape of his neck.

"You're not going to be able to unseal this one. It's an elvish seal. Only elves know how to fix it, and that's because the unsealing method is completely our own. However, anyone can place the seal on someone. I don't even know how the hell someone could've known how to do this. My people haven't ever been to this freaking planet for the last 500 years." He clapped his hands together.

"Luckily, I know just how. Brace yourself, kid, 'cuz this is gonna hurt like a motherfucker." Aaron gathered an orb of black light in his hand, and shoved it onto the seal at the nape of Naruto's neck, causing him to scream in agony. A bright light encased the room, covering everything. When it died down, the seal was gone, and Naruto was different. He was now much taller, and his baby fat was completely gone. The boy now stood at 6'0, and looked a lot like his father.

"Damn, man, you're gonna be quite the lady killer when people see you." Naruto chuckled. His voice had now grown deeper and sounded more like rumbling.

"Also, I have to ask, do you actually like Sakura, or was that part of your mask?" Naruto looked horrified.

"LIKE her! I _**HATE**_ her! You can practically feel the italicizing, underlining, and bolding of the word HATE!" Aaron raised an eyebrow amusedly.

"Really? Tell me what you hate about her..."

"Well, to start, she's so loud! I mean, good god, who the f**k talks so loud 24/7? Then there's her ironing board of a chest. Why the hell wouldn't she have developed yet? She's 19! Then you have her pink hair! Who the F**K has PINK hair? Also, all she talks about is her mother**king Sauce-gay-kun! What a f**king fangirl!" Aaron was happy.

"Good, I would've hated for you to like her _that way_. Now, I suggest you go find Hinata. She's gotten quite a confidence boost over the past few years, so why don't you go see if you can go on a date with her?" Naruto grinned.

"Okay!" Then he sped off, leaving a dust cloud behind.

**The Next Day**

"Alright guys, I'm going to be gone for about a week. Think you can hold down the fort while I'm gone?" Aaron asked his kids.

"Definitely dad!" Kagi said. Aaron ruffled his hair.

"Good. I'll see you soon!" He then shunshined to the gates, where he and Kakashi met up with the Hokage and left for Tetsu no Kuni. (Land of Iron)

**Kage Summit**

Aaron and Kakashi stood on both sides of Minato as he sat in a chair and listened to the other Kage. The Tsuchikage was the only one not present. Then, Onoki walked in and sat down, but not before gawking at Minato. Mifune stood in front of all of them.

"Now, on the first order of business, a strange character has been brought to attention by Hokage-dono. Please explain." Minato nodded.

"As of yesterday, a powerful man named Renda, was it?" He looked at Aaron who nodded in confirmation.

"Was spoken of to me by Uchiha-san here. Also, yesterday, he launched an invasion on my village with soldiers of unimaginable strength. Even I was only able to take out 4 when using my Hiraishin no Jutsu. But Uchiha-san has knowledge of these creatures, and was able to take out the entire army by himself." The other kage stared at Aaron who grinned.

"It was no problem for me, because of special reasons which I will not explain just yet. But just _one_ these creatures are about the same as a Kage-level shinobi." They just wanted to drop their jaws at this point.

"These creatures aren't any man, or woman, or animal. They are _living elements_. Each of these creatures is crafted from literal darkness itself, making them five times as strong as a very good Chunin. Renda is an insane man. He is the creator of darkness itself, and my mortal enemy. Of course, he's got a vendetta because I managed to beat him about 2000 years ago or something..." Aaron started mumbling about "kleptos who need to stop being so f**king grudgy..." Minato coughed, and Aaron refocused.

"Oh, yes, where was I? *clears throat* Anyways, it would take every Kage-level shinobi in the world, excluding myself, to just make a dent in their forces, which is why Hokage-sama and I propose a deal. I can craft weapons that will easily harm these creatures, and the cost is only an alliance between the five villages."

"How do I know what you're saying is true?" Mei Terumi asked. Aaron chuckled.

"Just watch."

"WATCH? _WATCH_? WHY WOULD I WATCH? I WANT NOTHING TO DO WITH KONOHA, OR THOSE DUMBASS NAMIKAZES!" Onoki shouted, surprising everyone. In a nanosecond, Aaron was behind him with Amaterasu drawn and at his neck.

"I suggest you shut your fucking mouth right now, old man, because I can quite literally send you to Hell..." He whispered, but loud enough for everyone to hear. The Kage guards were all standing at attention, ready to fight. The Kage themselves were shocked at how fast he was.

"You just insulted my best friend, who is also my brother in all but blood, and my jinchuriki brother, as well as the leader of my village. If you don't want me to kill you right now, shut the fuck up, sit the fuck down, and fucking listen!" He then raged, his sclera turning red and his pupils becoming slits of blue and green.

"Aaron! That is enough!" Minato barked. Aaron turned his eyes to Minato, then huffed, sheathing his soul cutter.

"A word to the wise: When you wish to keep living, don't piss off God..." He whispered. Aaron then shimmered, disappeared, and reappeared next to Minato, his eyes normal again. He then leaned against the wall and crossed his arms.

"As I was saying, how do we know what you are saying is true, Aaron-san?" Aaron chuckled.

"I want to, with your permission, show you all something important." He said. The Kage agreed, unsure of what he meant. Tendrils of light stretched from his shirt sleeves and attached to the foreheads of everyone in the room but Aaron.

"_Look and see what God has seen..._" A voice whispered.

**Flashback: Aaron's Last Stand, Approximately 3,000 years ago**

"The time for this all to end has come! No longer will the world be kept in ruin by you!" Aaron shouted as he stood apart from the evil king. Aaron was standing on top of a charred hill. All around, the landscape was burnt, churned, holed, and damaged nearly beyond repair.

"Oh, really, it will? Have you not seen what my master, my god, Renda, can do? He has razed lands, crumbled mountains, churned seas, and blackened suns!" The king said.

"But my god has fixed all that yours has done, and made everything prosperous!" He retorted.

"Enough of this! My god, Renda, lend me strength to crush my foes!" The king roared, a black aura surrounding him.

"Illyon, creator of worlds, give me might to brighten the darkness!" Aaron shouted as a white glow covered him.

"**Fury of Armageddon!**" The evil king cried, wielding a large sword and charging at Aaron, a dark shroud enveloping him.

"**Creator's Light!**" Aaron said, charging the king, a light cloak covering him in a similar fashion. They both clanged their swords together, destroying the earth beneath them.

"No more suffering! No more pain! Tonight, you and I shall dine in hell!" Aaron said, letting out a cry of power as a white glow enveloped him, shaking the entire world of Ra'drith.

"No! NO! I SHALL NOT END LIKE THIS!" The king screamed, unable to do anything.

"**ANCIENT RITUAL: DUAL-LIFE SACRIFICE!**" A faint image of Illyon appeared around Aaron, and a faint image of Renda in pain appeared around the evil king. With a mighty cry, he killed the king and himself, and his blade buried its edge into the earth, the cloth flapping in the wind.

**Flashback: End!**

The tendrils returned into Aaron's sleeves.

"Now you all have seen just how much of a threat Renda is. He can destroy entire worlds if he wishes to, when there is no opposition of the kind I offer." Everyone was silent for a moment.

"Was...was that you, Aaron-san?" A asked, unusually quiet. Everyone looked at the elf expectantly. Aaron lowered his head, remaining silent before speaking.

"Hai. That was me. You cannot imagine what it is like having to give up your life for an entire planet. The people I knew had all died by the time I was reincarnated." A phantom tear dripped from his eyes.

"But I do not wish for that to happen again. That is why we must form an alliance. I have a deal that I would like to propose, and it would be wise for you all to listen." They all leaned in.

"I am willing to pass on the teachings of fighting these creatures to 1000 people. I will train 200 people from each of our villages in how to fight these creatures."

"But that surely is not enough to defeat this Renda person." Onoki protested, having calmed down. Aaron grinned.

"I will most certainly be training each of you 5 Kage in how to do this. And as to only 1000 people not being enough, I never said that _they_ couldn't teach my methods to any more people than that, did I?" They all blinked for a moment before the sound of collective facepalm was heard.

'_Ah...Music to my ears..._'

"**And mine, too.**" Akahana commented.

"Also, I must warn you now. This training is only for the good-hearted. Anyone with even the least bit of evil intentions for receiving this training will quite literally turn to dust upon learning it."

"Why?" Gaara questioned.

"These teachings are practically the foundation for every fighting style in this universe. I devised them at its beginning in order to train soldiers to fight evil and protect the innocent. When someone learns this style, I receive a practical report on their 'moral compass', so to speak, because my spirit reaches out and touches theirs. If there is even one trace of evil in them, they are rejected by my spiritual energy, which is so potent that it will kill them almost instantly. I am not called Judge of the Gods for no reason, you know." Gaara raised both of his non-existant eyebrows.

"You are the Judge of the Gods? Shijina-chan has told me every legend about you, saying that she wishes to meet you some day." Everyone turned to face Gaara.

"Shijina-chan?" Kakashi asked.

"The Shukaku." Aaron clarified.

"Wait, back the f**k up...I thought you had the Shukaku extracted?" Kakashi said.

"Yes, but Aaron-san retrieved her from a giant stone statue and gave her back to me..." Aaron chuckled sheepishly and rubbed the back of his head.

"It was nothing..." Gaara started clutching his head.

"Dammit, Shijina-chan, do you have to go fangirl right this minute?" He started muttering. The pain in his head increased.

"Fine, fine, I'll let you out..." Gaara flipped through hand signs.

"**Kuchiyose no Jutsu: Ichibi no Shukaku**." In a puff of smoke, and tan-skinned woman was standing beside him. She had eyes with black irises, and golden pupils. Her tan skin had blue tribal marks that trailed all over her, and her purple hair stretched down past her bottom, which had many accentuated curves. The woman was wearing a black kimono.

"Gaara-kun, where is-" She stopped when her vision was focused on Aaron, and then she got hearts in her eyes. Aaron recognized that look.

"OH SHI-"

"Illyon-kun!" Aaron was instantly glomptackled by a purple ball of energy. When his face was seeable after the violet-haired woman started hugging his stomach, his eyes were swirls.

"Blue chihuahua..." He mumbled. Aaron sat up, feeling a large trace of killing intent coming from inside his mind.

"We're screwed." He announced. In a massive explosion, Akahana was right beside him, with fire dancing in her eyes.

"Get your hands off of my husband!" She shouted at Shijina. Shijina growled, and hugged Aaron tighter, pressing his head right into her bosom, a position which most men always dreamed of.

"Log save me..." He muttered, but no one could hear it.

"But Illyon-kun is so awesome!" Shijina protested, hugging him tighter.

'_Lucky bastard..._' Was the thought of every male in the room but Gaara.

"I said get off him!" Akahana hissed. She leaped at Shijina, and what was probably the hottest catfight in the history of the f**king universe began.

**30 Minutes Later**

We now find Akahana and Shijina being held apart by Aaron, most of their clothes torn, and every male in the room passed out and bloody nosed except for Gaara and Aaron. Althought, Gaara did have a bit of a nosebleed.

"Jeez, how are you NOT passed out?" Aaron asked. Gaara shrugged.

"I don't know. How are YOU not passed out?" Aaron grinned.

"I actually learned how to control my urges by simply meditating every day." Once all the males besides those two had woken up, the meeting continued. Akahana and Shijina were gone by now.

"Is there anything else?" Aaron nodded.

"I will give you all maps to a secret training location, one that I had prepared when I first came to this planet, in order to train people. For me to do so, you must select 200 people from your village that are good of heart, including yourselves. This training will be rigorous, exhausting, not to mention possibly deadly, and will push everyone who learns to and beyond their every limit. In it, you will have to face creatures of unparalleled strength, and horror. I will show you how to deal with your greatest fears, and your worst enemies. Once you come out of this, you will NEVER be the same." He said with conviction.

"If you do not wish to partake, or for your village to partake, you MUST speak now." They were silent. Then, A raised his hand, and slammed it down on his part of the stand, cracking it.

"Fuck giving up! We're going to kick these fuckers' asses six ways to Sunday, and there's nothing they're gonna be able to do about it! Now let's go!" Aaron grinned and nodded. He snapped his fingers, and a map appeared in front of every village leader.

"When I first came to this world, some 2000 years ago, I set up a nearly indestructible training area SPECIFICALLY designed for teaching my own personal style, known as 'The Hero's Way'. I will train each of you, and 200 people from your villages in The Hero's Way at this location." On the maps was a red "X" right in the middle of the entire elemental nations.

"You must gather the other 199 people you wish to have learn this, and travel to this location. It will take exactly five days for each of your villages' groups to arrive. There, I will teach you the secrets of fighting the darkness. I expect you all soon." With that, Aaron made the ram hand seal. A dragon made of light appeared, and then covered him. Once it dissipated, there was nothing there.

**Heaven**

Kami and Hiruzen were staring through a hole in the clouds at the scene.

"I never would've thought Minato would be Hokage again." Hiruzen mumbled.

"Yes, well, Aaron is a very special man." Kami replied. A dragon of light suddenly appeared next to the old Sarutobi, and dissolved to reveal Aaron.

"Yo. I know you guys were talking about me." Sarutobi stared.

"How?" Aaron gave him a 'are-you-fucking-serious' look.

"Dude...God of Prophecies ring any bells?" Sarutobi made an 'ohh' expression.

"Well, just wanted to say hi. See ya!" With that, Aaron disappeared. A note fluttered from where he had been, and Hiruzen picked it up.

_Thought you might like to know that, in life, you could've just used shadow clones to get your paperwork done. Talk to ya soon, old monkey!_

_-Aaron_

Hiruzen stared in disbelief at the note.

"Hiruzen, are you okay?" The former Hokage gained a storm cloud over his head before saying,

"I'm gonna go find a wall to bang my hand on." Then he walked off.

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><p>And that is that! See you all next time!<p>

**~Jinso-kun**


	12. Harness Your Skills

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own Naruto, period.**

Warning: Flamers will be shot for trespassing on private property, being an asshole, disobeying the reviewing guidelines, and pissing me off. Any jerks who wanna try their luck...*cocks shotgun* have five seconds before lead starts flying...

I don't feel like doing an intro A/N right now, so let's go!

COFB Chapter 12- Harness Your Skills

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><p><strong>Five Days Later, Hidden Location<strong>

"Where is this guy anyways?" A Kiri-nin asked. 200 ninja including the Kage were all standing in a massive temple/arena/training building.

"Be quiet. He will be here soon." With that, a huge set of doors opened, revealing Aaron. He was dressed in a monk's set of pants and a robe. He had the Sword of Truths sheathed on his back on the right, and a katana sheathed on his back on the left, forming an "X". Aaron wore a necklace with six magatama around his bare neck, like the Rikudo Sennin, only his were black. A metal bo staff was in his right hand, and he used it as a walking stick.

"Welcome. All 1000 of you have come here for one sole purpose: to learn how to combat the darkness. Here, I will teach you everything you need to know on that subject. You will be pushed to your limits...and beyond them as well. I will break you down physically and spiritually, but will rebuild you in both ways to be even greater than before. Your first lesson is physical training." He grabbed his monk's robe (the shirt portion), took it off, making the females blush, and holding it up.

"Now, how much do you think this shirt weighs?" He asked everyone. Aaron's four children and wives were standing in the Konoha crowd. They each knew that Aaron weighed his training shirts to at least 10 tons, just to build himself physically.

"A few ounces?" A Kumo nin asked. Aaron smirked.

"You're a few light-years away on that guess." He let the shirt fall from his grasp. Most of them expected it to land softly. Instead, the weighted shirt made a crater at least 5 ft in diameter from the impact, causing many to go wide-eyed.

"That shirt weighs exactly 14.5 tons, people. And I can move around in it like it's a feather. This is the amount of physical training you will need. Everyone must wear weighted clothing 24/7, in order to build up speed, stamina, and strength. You will practice katas in weighted clothes. You will eat breakfast, lunch, and dinner in weighted clothes. Hell, you might even SLEEP in weighted clothes. Each time you become fully used to a set of weights, I will add on more pounds, and maybe even tons, in order for you to become stronger." He snapped his fingers, and a set of weights appeared on everyone's arms and legs. Many people fell to the ground from the weight (The weakasses...).

"What the hell!" Random Iwa nin #47 yelled.

"You will wear these weights when I tell you to. You cannot take them off unless I say so. Disobeying these rules will result in me increasing your weights by at least 5 tons per weight. Understood?" A bunch of weak "Hai"s were heard.

"Now, your second lesson for today is spiritual training. I will train all of you to have unbreakable wills, so that you do not falter when facing these nightmarish creatures. Your first task is to harness your spiritual energy, and create a weapon from it."

"WHAT? But how are we gonna do that without you telling us how?" A Konoha nin asked. Aaron stonily glared at him.

"If you wish to seek self-enlightenment, then you must look within." He held his hand out, and a massive zanbato of light appeared in it. Aaron swung it around a little, showing them his finesse with it.

"Kunai are as useless against these creatures as a stick is against a mammoth. You must be able to create weapons from your own _soul_ if you wish to live when fighting these monsters."

"I think I got it!" Naruto's voice shouted. Everyone turned and revealed Naruto holding a crimson wakizashi of energy in his hand.

"See, he has it. Just meditate and focus. Imagine a weapon, the most useful one to you, and imagine a glowing energy surrounding it. Until then, you do not need any more assistance from me." People began sitting down and meditating. After a while, many had created weapons from their souls. Some had swords, some had bows, some had daggers. There were various energy weapons all around.

"Now you all must practice using them. No killing, maiming, cutting, or injuring allowed. You are to spend the rest of the day practicing. If I am needed, I will be in that room over there." Aaron pointed to the large set of doors through which he had entered. Aaron then picked up his shirt and walked into said room.

**Room that was just mentioned**

Aaron sat down in the room. Candles were all around the perimeter, and they were lit too. He sat on a small bamboo mat, and began meditating in the lotus position. After a few minutes, his right ear twitched. Hearing the door quietly creak, and sensing the person's chakra, he called out,

"Mizukage-san, what do you need?" Mei stopped right where she was.

"I was wondering, Aaron-san...do you _really_ think we'll be able to defeat these things? Even the Yondaime Hokage was only able to defeat four at a time using his Hiraishin." Aaron stopped meditating.

"You wish to know my honest answer?"

"I do." She replied.

"I don't know."

"You don't know? Do you even _want_ to know? I thought you could see the future. You could tell us if we'll win or not!" Aaron sighed and stood up, facing her.

"It is not a matter of not wanting to know, Mizukage-san...It is a matter of not needing to know..." Seeing her puzzled look, he asked,

"Mizukage-san, what is your opinion towards fate?" Mei was surprised at this question, but had to stop and think. Aaron continued.

"Many people think that everyone has a single fate that their entire life is controlled by. However, our own fates are determined by the things we do and how we do them. Even if one can see 'the future', they are only seeing a _possible_ future. There are many different actions and many different outcomes for the future. We could win. We could lose. It could be a draw. Everyone could die. No one could die. We can't _know_ our 'fates'. We can only decide on them and make them happen. For those reasons, I cannot know the outcome of this entire war. And even if I could, just the simple fact of me knowing the outcome will completely change it." He turned to look out a window, holding his hands together behind his back.

"Since I cannot know the outcome of the battles we will face, the only thing I can do is prepare to fight them, and do my best to win when they happen. That is why I am training 1000 different people. I am _evening the odds_, if you will." Aaron turned around and faced her again.

"If you had, say, two weeks, before a battle with an unknown number of enemies, on a currently unknown battlefield, in unknown weather conditions, what would be your greatest chance at winning that unknown battle?" She stopped for a moment.

"I would do everything to prepare any forces I am in charge of for any weather conditions and terrains." Aaron nodded and turned away once more.

"That is what I am doing. I am training you all for the toughest fight you will ever face." Mei was silent. He looked at her again.

"Let us go back to where the others are. I have the third and final lesson for today for the group." He walked out with Mei, and everyone else was standing there and looking at him.

"Your third lesson for the day is using your soul weapons in a fight. I have prepared an example." He made a ram seal, and a gigantic cage rose from the ground. It had a blank-stared darkness elemental inside it. Aaron shouted something in elvish, and the creature's eyes suddenly filled with feral rage. The cage opened up, and the homunculus rushed to attack Aaron. Said elf gracefully leaped into the air and sliced its head off. Once the disembodied head hit the ground, the entire thing turned to dust which quickly scattered in the wind.

"That is how you fight. For your training. You will all fight against me, 1000..." He made a seal and 1000 more of him appeared in the room.

"...to 1000." Aaron finished with a grin. He simply received gawking stares.

"But Kage Bunshin can only take so many hits!" Random Konoha nin #32 said. Aaron's grin changed to a smirk.

"These aren't KAGE bunshin. Ever hear of the Raito Bunshin (Light Doppelganger)?" Aaron turned to the clone nearest to him and socked it in the face. The bunshin took the punch and fell to the ground.

"These clones are made of solidified light. If you do manage to kill one, it...You know what? You'll just have to see for yourselves." He leaped back and shouted,

"Hajime!"

**4 Hours Later**

Many shinobi were laying on the ground, panting heavily.

"Good. You've all done well for today. Since you have all progressed well, I'm not going to make you all sleep outside like I originally intended. Also..." He snapped his fingers and all of the shinobis' weights fell off.

"You do not have to wear weights until tomorrow. You will find rooms to stay in to the right and left in this hallway. Males on one side, and females on the other. See you all tomorrow." The shinobi all groaned a weak "Hai", and left to go to sleep. Aaron simply walked off into his meditation room.

**3 Hours Later, Midnight**

"So is everything all set?" A figure asked from the shadows, hefting a large sword on their shoulder.

"Hai. You all can show yourselves tomorrow, and I promise, nothing will go wrong." The figure who had spoken before chuckled.

"Good. I can finally see the gaki again. It's been a while. I wonder just how strong he's gotten?" A smaller figure beside him nodded.

"I wish to see Naruto again as well."

"Damn, kid, someone really needs to serve you a slice of Humanity pie. My sword's just ITCHING to get another bite of the gaki's tasty chakra." Another gruff voice said.

"Kisame, can you stop telling him he needs a slice of 'Humanity pie'? The kid's just fine."

"Well, he does!"

"Kisame, please shut up. I really don't want to have to explain to the Mizukage why the hell I have an S-Ranked criminal in a sanctuary, okay?" Aaron asked.

"Fine...But you and me are gonna have a sword fight someday. Which is better, a shaving sword, or a truthful sword? Ahahahaha!" Kisame laughed quietly.

"Okay, look. Just stay hidden for a bit, and remember what I taught you."

"I can make a Samehada from my soul. Of course I'll remember, gaki." Aaron raised an eyebrow.

"I'm 3000 years old, bitch. You're the gaki to me. All eight of you, just stay hidden until tomorrow." Five heads nodded. A bit of mask bandaging swayed from one head. A mop of spiky blue hair from another. A porcelain mask was briefly seen on another. A puff of smoke came from the mouth of one of them. Some strands of long, straight red hair bobbed up and down.

"Okay, see you all tomorrow."

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><p>That's chapter 12! Phew! Two chapters in one day! That's a lot of hard work! Can you guess who the other four people Aaron was talking to are?<p>

See ya next time!

**~Jinso-kun**


	13. Crossovers and a Big Surprise

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto...LEAVE JINSO ALONE!**

Warning: I have set up an electric fence for all the flamers out there. Stay the F**K off my property, damn it!

No introduction this time, we're just moving right to the story!

COFB Chapter 13- Crossovers and a Big Surprise

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><p>Everyone woke up bright and early to the sounds of chirping birds, and (THANK THE LOG) not that stupid flute-y shit they play in G-Rated movies. Everyone walked all the way back to the main training area, where they had been before.<p>

"Good morning. I trust you all slept well. Today will be one of the harder lessons that you must learn." Aaron reached behind him, and pulled out a sphere. It had a red top, a white bottom, and a black middle line with a white button in the middle. He clicked the button, and the ball grew in size. The red top was transparent, and inside, some could see a sleeping little green dinosaur.

"Is that..." Rich tried to ask from the front, but couldn't quite say it. Aaron nodded.

"Yes, yes it is, Rich." He then tossed the ball in the air, saying,

"Let's go, Bulbasaur!" The ball popped open, and smoke filled the air. When it cleared, a cute little green dinosaur with a bulb on its back was lying there, slowly blinking its eyes. It appeared the little Bulbasaur had just woken up, and it yawned, making the females get starry-eyed.

"Today, you will learn about the world of crossovers." Kumo nin #23 asked,

"What's a crossover?" Aaron nodded his head in appreciation.

"Good question. Just what exactly _is_ a crossover? Well, think for a moment. Has anyone ever heard of the multiverse theory?" A few heads nodded.

"If you haven't, here's the short explanation: There are multiple universes with different features throughout one giant universe called the multiverse. I actually arrived here many years ago through a gap in the space-time continuum of the multiverse, commonly known as a wormhole. To simply put it, I basically 'jumped'..." He put quotes around the word "jumped".

"...From one universe to another. The little creature here, known as a Bulbasaur," Said creature started scratching its pointy ears.

"Is from another universe in the multiverse. He is what is known as a pokémon, short for 'Pocket Monster". The man we are all going to face, named Renda, is also much like me. His knowledge of the multiverse and its universes will most likely allow him to pull more of these creatures from their own universes. We will all be visiting their world for a bit, so you can all learn how to catch some, and train it to fight." He snapped his fingers, and a swirling, purple and black vortex appeared beside.

"Now then, single file please. I'll go first. Also, if you're a bit nervous about travelling through time and space, just one tip: Don't touch anything that looks like cotton candy or electricity when traveling. Believe me, you DON'T wanna know what happens." Aaron turned to the portal, and leaped inside. Following him was Rich, then May, then Naruto, then Minato, then Sasuke, and finally, all the other shinobi came through the portal one by one.

**Pokémon Universe, Viridian Forest**

The Konoha ninja fell on tall grass as they landed inside some kind of dense forest. On the ground were enough pokéballs for each to have six. A note was beside them.

_Everyone, here are some pokeballs for you all to use. If you look, you'll see that 200 of them have a pokémon inside. I want all of you to grab one pokémon each, and five empty pokéballs. This is essential for catching more pokémon. When you fight a wild pokémon, you must use your pokémon to weaken it, and then toss a pokéball at it to catch it. For your convenience, I've labeled a pokémon for each of you to grab based upon your personalities, actions, body language, likes, and dislikes. Also, I have set up a couple of maps and pokédexes for you all to use. I will be waiting for you all in Cerulean City. Look for the Pokémon Gym._

_-Aaron_

In four other areas of the Kanto region, things were pretty much the same. The Kumo nin arrived at the Power Plant, the Kiri nin arrived at Vermilion City, the Iwa nin arrived at Mt. Moon, and the Suna nin arrived near Celadon City. Everyone had the same note, the same amount of pokéballs, but different pokémon. Rich picked up one with his name on it.

"Sweet! A Pikachu! F**k yeah!" May picked up hers.

"Ooh, a Squirtle! How cute!" Naruto picked up his.

"Huh? A Ninetales?" Everyone sweatdropped.

"**How fucking ironic...**" Kyuubi muttered. There was a sticky note taped to the bottom of Naruto's pokéball.

_Get the joke? Heh!_

_-Aaron_

Minato picked up his.

"Rhydon? What the hell is that?" He asked no one in particular. Kakashi found his.

"Marowak? WTF?"

"Golbat?" Questioned Sasuke. Because this author does not wanted to spend too much time naming who got what pokémon, here is a list people who matter and their pokémon that have not already been named:

Hinata- Clefairy

Choji- Snorlax (People laughed when they saw him and it have a honey eating competition)

Ino- Eevee

Shino- Venomoth

Kiba- Growlithe

Shikamaru- Drowzee

Sakura- Jigglypuff

Lee- Hitmonlee

Tenten- Scyther

Neji- Spearow (It was inside a cage)

Gai- Machoke

Anko- Arbok

Kurenai- Vileplume

Asuma- Koffing (He was a little bit pissed)

Tsunade- Machamp

Konan- Butterfree

Akahana- Shiny Ninetales

Aaruka- Beedrill

Kinu- Pidgeotto

Kagi- Dodrio

Kuro- Haunter

Te-ru- Vulpix

Now we get back to the story.

"He said to meet him in Cerulean City, right?" Sasuke asked. Picking up a town map and opening it, he found Cerulean City.

"That's not too far from here." Minato said, looking over Sasuke's shoulder.

"I could probably Hiraishin us there." A note appeared on the ground in a puff of smoke.

_By the way, no using your ninja abilities. There are no ninjas in this universe, nor does ANYONE know about chakra. If you Hiraishin, or teleport, or use any jutsu, people will flip like monkeys in a traveling circus._

_-Aaron_

"Damn it! I guess we'll have to walk!" Minato shouted, throwing his hands up in exasperation.

"Hey, you with the silver hair! I challenge you to a pokémon battle!" Minato turned around.

"Who, me?" Kakashi asked, pointing to himself.

"Yeah!" Kakashi suddenly heard Aaron's voice in his head.

'_Accept his challenge. It'll be good practice. And by battle, he means using your pokémon to battle. Your pokémon has four moves it can use in a battle. By the way, you need to learn about type match-ups. It's like using elements, only a lot more. It's basically natural science. Grass beats water, ground, and rock. Water beats fire, ground, and rock. Fire beats grass, steel, bug, and ice. Ice beats grass, rock, flying, bug, ground, and dragon. Dragon beats dragon. Rock beats flying, fire, and ice. Electric beats water and flying. Flying beats grass and bug. Poison beats grass. Steel beats rock and ice. Etcetera, etcetera... Just use your knowledge of science to coordinate your attacks. By the way, you can nickname your pokémon if you want. Now just battle him._'

"I accept." The bug catcher smirked.

'_By the way, I've canceled out your Sharingan so that you can pull up your forehead protector for until we get back._' Aaron then told him.

"Let's go, Paras!" The boy shouted. He tossed a pokéball, and out came a little crab-like pokémon with two little mushrooms growing on its back. It made a chittering noise. Kakashi pulled his headband up, revealing a normal eye with a scar coming from the top and bottom. Sending out his only pokémon, Kakashi yelled,

"Come on out, Marowak!" A little pokémon that was standing on two legs came out. It was wearing a skull for a hat, and held a femur bone like a club. The little pokémon looked like a dinosaur.

"Maro! Marowak!" It said. Kakashi held up a pokédex. His pokemon's information came on the screen (I'll be using the Pokemon Black/White Version information for its description):

_Marowak lvl. 22_

_Ground Type_

_Bone Keeper Pokemon_

_Height: 3'03"_

_Weight: 99.2lbs_

_From its birth, this savage Pokémon constantly holds bones. It is skilled in using them as weapons._

_Moves: Bone Club, Ice Beam_ (It is possible for a Marowak to learn ice-type moves)_, Aerial Ace, Dig_

_Evolves from: Cubone_

_Evolves into: None_

Then the Paras' info came up (same as before, Black and White Version description):

_Paras Lvl. 15_

_Bug/Grass Type_

_Mushroom Pokemon_

_Height: 1'00"_

_Weight: 11.9lbs_

_Mushrooms named tochukaso grow on its back. They grow along with the host Paras._

_Moves: ?_

_Evolves from: None_

_Evolves into: Parasect_

"You have the first move." Kakashi said. The bug catcher nodded.

"Paras, use Stun Spore!" From the name, Kakashi could tell that it would probably paralyze his Marowak. The Paras shook its body, and yellow dust floated up and towards the Marowak.

"Marowak, dodge!" The pokémon was about to comply, but the spores hit it. Kakashi expected his pokémon to freeze up or something, but it just shook them off.

'_Marowak is a ground-type pokémon. Electric types moves cannot affect it._'

'_So that's why it just shook them off?_' Kakashi asked.

'Now_ you're getting the hang of it._' Aaron told him.

"Marowak, use Aerial Ace!"

"Maro!" The little dinosaur-like pokémon rushed the Paras, and slashed it with the bone, sending the Paras into the air. Kakashi's pokedex made a beeping noise. He looked to see the Paras' HP very low.

"Now, Marowak, finish this with Ice Beam!"

"Marowak!" The little dinosaur opened its mouth, and a ball of bright blue light appeared. A beam of the same color shot out and hit the Paras, encasing it in ice. The crab-like pokémon fell to the ground like a boulder, shattering the ice. It was unconscious.

"Nooo, Paras!" The bug catcher ran to it, making sure it was okay.

'_Oh, and, guys, you get money for winning a battle, too._' The bug catcher walked up to Kakashi.

"Here's your money...It's all I have" The kid said dejectedly.

"You keep it." The bug catcher looked up.

"Huh? But why?"

"My friends and I have money already, so you don't really need to give me any."

"Well, okay! Thanks, mister!"

"You're welcome, kid. Train harder so we can have a rematch, ok?"

"Ok!" With that, the kid ran off to Viridian City and went to the Pokémon Center. Kakashi turned around. Everyone but Rich and May was staring at him.

"What?" Another note appeared on the ground.

_By the way, Kakashi just did what is known as a pokémon battle. I'm going to send every bit of info about this world into your minds so that I don't have to explain anything. I'm going to send you the info in about ten seconds. Don't walk in the tall grass with weakened pokémon!_

_-Aaron_

They started feeling pain in their heads, and then it just simply went away. They knew everything they needed to know about this world, so the group left for Cerulean City. The situation was the same for every other group of shinobi.

**Cerulean City Pokémon Gym, 2 Hours Later**

"We're *pant* here..." Minato announced. Everyone had finally gathered up, and was standing inside the gym.

"Hey, Aaron! You here?" Rich called out. A spotlight shone across the room, and an orange-haired girl was standing there.

"Welcome to the Cerulean City Pokémon Gym! I'm the Gym Leader, Misty! Who wants to battle?" Misty stopped in her speech when she saw the massive group of people inside her gym.

"Jeez...I've never seen so many people wanting to challenge my gym. This must be a record or something..."

"Sorry about that, Misty. I told my friends to just come here and wait for me. They're not here to challenge the gym." Aaron said, walking out beside her.

"Aw..."

"Ok guys, now that you're all here, I want you all to battle me one by one so you can get the experience." Aaron said.

"Huh? Are you nuts? There's, like, a thousand of them, and ONE of you!" Misty shouted.

"Relax. I have a truckload of potions and super potions. Now who's first?" Everyone was silent. Then Rich stepped forward.

"This is gonna be just like old times, eh?" Rich joked. Aaron nodded with a smirk. The bleachers of the gym were crowded with people, and Misty was going to be the referee.

"This is going to be a one-on-one battle, so try your best!"

"Go, Pikachu!" Rich shouted, tossing his pokéball and letting the little electric mouse out.

"Come out and play, Alakazam." Aaron stated, letting his out into the air above the water.

"Are both trainers ready?" Receiving a nod from both, Misty stated,

"Then, battle!"

"Alakazam, use Psychic!"

"Ala! The pokémon's eyes glowed, and Rich's Pikachu was tossed around like a ragdoll.

"Alakazam, use Shadow Ball."

"Alakazam!" The kangaroo-ish pokémon let out a dense, black glob which traveled toward Pikachu as it was falling. Pikachu quickly regained consciousness as the ball moved quickly.

"Pikachu, dodge!"

"Pika!" Pikachu jumped away, but wasn't prepared for what came next.

"Alakazam, Psychic."

"Ala!" Pikachu was caught in midair by an invisible force and was then shot at the Shadow Ball, creating an explosion. Pikachu fell to the ground, smoking and unconscious.

"Winner, Aaron!" Rich scooped up his Pikachu. He held up a pokédex for a second, and saw that Aaron's Alakazam was Lvl. 38. His Pikachu was only Lvl. 21.

"That's unfair, man, yours is a higher level!" Rich said, pointing at the Alakazam.

"No one ever said you couldn't battle with a pokémon that had a higher level than someone else's." Aaron replied. Rich facepalmed almost immediately. Aaron withdrew Alakazam and held out another pokéball.

"Who's next?" One Kiri ninja came up, shouting,

"Bring it on!"

"Are you sure?"

"Hell yeah! Let's fight!" Aaron grinned. By this time, a crowd consisting of the entire town had entered the building. Misty flipped a switch and the building walls opened up to reveal a full arena.

"I'm so glad Red thought of adding that function for me." She stated.

"Come on out and play..." The next word he spoke made every trainer in the gym pale.

"_Zapdos_..." He tossed the pokéball, and out came a massive yellow and black bird. Electricity crackled on its feathers as it shrieked. A screen appeared from the ground, with both trainers' faces, the faces of their pokémon, and their pokémon's levels on it.

_Trainer: Aaron_

_Current Pokémon: Zapdos Lvl. 80_

_Trainer: Insertrandomnamehere_

_Current Pokémon: Tentacool Lvl. 15_

"Begin!"

"Zapdos, Thunderbolt." The electric bird screeched and sent out a blast of electricity into the pool, frying the Tentacool.

"Hey, May, do you smell KFC?" Rich asked. May nodded.

"Good, then I'm not going crazy." And so, battle after battle went on until everyone had lost, and Aaron hadn't lost a single pokémon at all.

"Well, I'll be seeing you, Misty. Tell Red I said hi." Misty nodded and waved them off. Aaron was about to lead them to Mt. Moon, when suddenly an explosion hit the Pokémon Center. He quickly zoomed off, telling the others to stay behind.

**Pokémon Center**

"To protect the world from devastation!" A female voice said.

"To unite all peoples within our nation!" A male voice replied.

"To denounce the evils of truth in lo-"

"Oh, just shut the fuck up! You three look like a bunch of idiots doing that." Aaron called out. Everyone turned to stare at him.

"Hey, you jerk, don't interrupt our introduction!" Aaron shrugged.

"Fine, fine. By all means, do your introduction." And so went their incredibly horrid theme song.

"Meowth, that's right!" The trio looked at Aaron expectantly, but he was simply humming and tapping his foot.

"Hey, pay attention to us!" Jesse shouted. Aaron looked at them suddenly, with a raised eyebrow. Then he made an "Oh!" expression and took out a pair of white earbuds from his ears.

"Sorry, what was that?" He asked, turning his black Ipod Touch off.

"Oh, screw you!" James shouted. Aaron closed his eyes and smirked.

"Sorry, but I prefer girls. Chicks, not dicks, you know?" He asked.

"Ugh! That's it! I challenge you to a battle!" Aaron's smirk grew bigger.

"Fine by me."

**BGM ACTIVATED- Pokémon Emerald- Rayquaza's Theme**

"Go, Weezing!" James threw his pokéball, and out came his signature weakass pokémon. Aaron simply threw his pokéball up in the air, saying,

"Let's wreak havoc, Articuno." Out came a magnificent blue bird with a shiny, ice-like tail. Everyone gawked when the legendary pokémon appeared.

"Articuno, end this quickly with Ice Beam." Making its signature noise, the Articuno blasted Team Rocket with a massive sky blue beam. They were frozen solid. Aaron took out two more pokéballs, and said,

"Moltres, Zapdos." The other two came out. Moltres charged up a Flamethrower, Articuno prepared an Ice Beam, and Zapdos prepared a Thunderbolt. Aaron pointed one finger at Team Rocket, and then uttered,

"**Ultimate Tri-Beam**." The three energy beams mixed and swirled together, creating a gigantic version of the move Tri-Beam (Not the DBZ Tri-Beam, the kind that a f**king Doduo can use!) Inside the ice, their eyes widened to impossible proportions as a beam of ice, fire, and lightning hit them, sending the four sky high in an explosion.

"Looks like Team Rocket's blasting off agai-"

"Oh shut the FUCK up!" Aaron shouted while they disappeared, stopping people from listening to the torture of the three. He recalled Zapdos and Articuno, and looked around. People were gawking at him. He simply put his hands in his pockets, hopped on Moltres, and flew away. Only when he was gone did the Nurse Joy residing there say with a blush on her face,

"Badass..."

**Naruto-verse Group**

They all saw a group of weirdly dressed people fly out of the Pokémon Center and far away. Then Aaron came up to them, riding on a giant flaming bird with his hands in his pockets.

"C'mon. Let's go." He said, leading them all to Mt. Moon after recalling Moltres, and then opening a portal back home.

**Naruto-verse, Aaron's Secret Training Area**

As everyone filed out of the portal, Aaron said,

"Now that you all have learned a bit about crossovers, it is time for the second lesson: Fighting your deceased allies and enemies." Several people gulped.

"Every single god in existence has at least one moral in common: to respect the dead. Unless they are insane, or for some other reason, the gods will never, and I repeat, NEVER do anything like, for example, bringing the dead back to life to fight for them like a certain snake pedo who I killed, or reanimating their corpses and making you fight them. Renda is insane, alright? He is batshit, motherfucking, bitch-slapping a pancake, cursing the clouds for existing, yelling at a turtle for looking at him funny insane." Many raised an eyebrow at that.

"That being said, he, like many other gods such as I who can bring the dead back to life, can and WILL do that. However, Renda is the god of DARKNESS. He will most likely corrupt their minds and make them into slobbing, blathering, animated, rage-filled veggies that will attack anything that breathes, moves, sees, hears, fucks, etc. You must not hesitate to kill them and free their souls. Remember, they may very well be your best buddy in the whole freakin' world on the inside, but on the outside, they are unknowing brainwashed zombies. They don't know what they're doing. On the inside, they're trapped and tortured. You have to free them to make it stop." Some were shocked.

"In order to teach you this lesson, I have-" He stopped as he heard a voice in his ear.

"_Illyon-sama, trouble! We're under attack by Renda! Please help!_" Aaron touched two fingers to a wireless earpiece.

"What is your position?" He asked. Everyone started staring at him weirdly. He held up a hand up, telling them to be quiet.

"_We're in Sector 149, Planet 082-3791! Send reinforcements imme- What is that! Oh, god! Ahhhhhhh-*squelch*_" All Aaron could hear now was static.

"Sector 149, Planet 082-379...Oh no..." His eyes widened as it all clicked.

"Aaron! Dude, what is it?" Rich called out. Aaron's eyes hardened like steel.

"Everyone, no more lessons for today. Roam about, eat, sleep, drink, fuck—I don't care. I have to go." He opened a portal and turned to leave, but Rich stopped him.

"What's going on, man? Why are you leaving?" Aaron turned around, a cold look in his eyes, that yet, held a bit of sorrow in it.

"Renda's attacking. And this time...it's Earth..."

* * *

><p>CLIFFY! What's going to happen when Aaron arrives on Earth? Will everything be destroyed? Find out next time!<p>

**~Jinso-kun**


	14. Renda's AllOut Assault

**Disclaimer: Do I even have to say it? Me no own Naruto, dammit!**

Warning: If you're a flamer, I kindly ask that you please leave me alone and go f**k a bear or whatever the hell you weird-ass flamers do, okay? No? Then I'm calling Chuck Norris. He hates flamers. *evilly grins*

**Another (IMPORTANT!) warning**: For the first time, I am introducing a gruesome scene in my story. There will be a **FINAL WARNING** before it, same look as that one, so if this frightens you or you feel sick reading these kinds of things, skip ahead until you see the big bold **END OF HORRIFYING SCENE** warning that looks exactly like the one I just did.

STORYTIMESTORYTIMESTORYTIME!

COFB Chapter 14- Renda's All-Out Assault

* * *

><p>"What?" Rich asked, horrified.<p>

"Renda's attacking Earth. I have to go stop him." Aaron turned around once more, but was stopped again.

"I'm coming with you." Rich said with his hand on the elf's shoulder. Aaron grabbed Rich's hand and pulled it off.

"No. You wouldn't survive, and I don't want you to get hurt. Stay behind." Aaron leaped into the portal without another word, and it closed, leaving Rich behind.

**Earth**

"Fire!" Tanks shot shell after shell at the darkness elementals, but to no avail.

"What are these things?" A soldier cried. Multiple Tazhu screeched in the air above, attacking fighter planes and jets. Soldiers and vehicles were being ripped apart like sheets of paper, and civilians lay dead in the bloody streets. Suddenly, a black blur dropped from the sky and hit the ground, causing a bright explosion that appeared in the midst of the creatures, destroying many of them.

"Sweet mother of God..." A general said, taking a pair of shades off and staring in awe, as did many other soldiers. Far away, an object was standing out amidst the waves of enemies.

"Hand me a pair of binoculars!" The General cried. A pair was handed to him, and he looked at the figure. A solitary man was standing in the middle of what must have been thousands of creatures, crossing his arms. He had black hair, long, pointy ears, and blue-green eyes split in half by the two colors like a yin-yang symbol. He was wearing a red silk cape that fluttered in the wind.

"Who is that soldier? I didn't authorize anyone to go out there!" The General yelled at his army. A random soldier took the binoculars and looked.

"Uh, sir, that's not one our soldiers. I've never seen him before."

"What!" Seven more black blurs dropped from the sky, causing even more explosions. More people stood around the first man, forming a circular shape. They all assumed fighting poses. Suddenly, the first man's voice rang out.

"Creatures of darkness, you are in unauthorized territory. Leave now, or face the consequences!" Everyone was silent, even the man. Then, he said,

"Enemy will not surrender; initiate termination protocol. SOLARUS Strike Force(1), green light!" The seven warriors spread out; decimating the enemy forces with might, grace, and speed. One of the warriors, who was the not the apparent leader, slammed their hand into the ground, putting up a barrier around the enemy and boxing them in. Everyone but the leader (Aaron) split off sections of the evil army, and proceeded to knock them around, taking out the weaker enemies first. Aaron assumed a meditation pose, and floated in mid-air. He began forming a Rasengan in each of his hands, which both, very slowly, grew larger and larger.

"White Dwarf, Subdwarf, Dwarf, Subgiant, Giant, Super Giant, bring them all in!" He shouted after he had two balls of energy in each hand the size of yoga balls. The seven of them nodded, and then brought all the tougher enemies closer in and bunched them all together.

"All clear, Hypergiant!" The one known as Subgiant called out. Aaron floated high in the air, and melded the two energy balls together, forming one giant one.

"**Atomic Spirit Rasengan!**" He shot down in a nosedive with the huge Rasengan and plunged it into the ground, setting off a massive, but contained, nuclear detonation which for some reason only affected the enemies and nothing else. There wasn't even a crater in the ground.

"Rasengan...where the devil have I heard that before?" The General muttered.

"Sir, I believe it's from an anime called Naruto. My kid watches that almost every day." The soldier from before said.

"An anime? But that can't be possible! It's a TV show; no one can actually do those things!"

"I don't know anymore, sir, I don't know anymore." Aaron stood up, a breeze floating through his hair. More elementals surrounded the entire group.

"Heh, they just keep coming...like a bunch of freakin' roaches..." Aaron said with a chuckle.

"SOLARUS Strike Force, spread out and evacuate the city immediately. I'll handle these ones."

"Sir, yes, sir!" The other seven members of the group cried out, disappearing in thin air. Aaron smirked.

"So, you all wanna tangle?" Hearing a roar from the enemy, Aaron flashed a fanged grin.

"Then show me what you got." A flurry of the creatures leapt out at him. In an instant, he reached out and punched holes through them, the darkness they were made of fading out of existence.

"Hmph. Too easy." He leapt backwards into the air, performing a single flip with his right leg extended, and landed across from the entire army.

"Now..." He drew Amaterasu out of its sheath and held it at his right side.

"I dare you all...to take me on...and I'll win..." Aaron said, pointing with his left hand at the massive force of darkness.

"What! Is he mad?" The General shouted.

"_We'll see..._" Aaron said with his mind in a singsong voice. They looked around nervously, trying to find the body of that voice.

"Enough! Elementals, back away!" A masculine voice suddenly cried out. Everyone turned to see Renda himself standing behind the elementals, with a sadistic grin on his face.

"He's mine." Aaron smirked.

"Still the same, I see. You always did want the biggest and baddest all for yourself." He commented. Renda gave him the same smirk and drew his own broadsword.

"And you always wanted a challenge, no matter how much. Well, you're getting it."

He immediately ran at Aaron, who also charged. Behind Renda, earth churned and flew as he soared towards his opponent. And behind Aaron, jets of light flared as he ran. The two met straight in the middle with a clang, pressing their swords together and struggling to push the other back. Finally, Renda's sword moved Aaron's away and he lunged out. Bending backwards, Aaron let the blade swipe just an inch above his hair, and then struck back, getting a cut across Renda's torso.

"Ah, so you drew first blood. I still remember our old deal." Renda said, sheathing his sword. Aaron did the same.

"Now, it is not a battle of swords...but a battle of technique." Aaron held his hand out and shot a blast of light at Renda who enveloped himself in a ball of darkness. Aaron took this advantage to dash forward, and with a cry of,

"**Shield Breaker!**" He made a zanbato of his own energy and smashed Renda' dome, exposing the darkness god. Renda jumped away, wagging his index finger.

"Ah, ah, ah...you're breaking the rules…No swords allowed!"

"That wasn't an actual sword though...So all in all, I was still playing fair!" Aaron shouted.

"Well, then, dear chum, what say you to a battle of references and crossovers?" Renda replied.

"I say...I challenge you to a Pokémon Battle!"

**With the Army**

"Pokémon! Who the hell are these guys!"

**The Fight**

**BGM ACTIVATED: POKÉMON FIRERED AND LEAFGREEN VERSION- TRAINER BATTLE**

"Challenge accepted! Go, Zoroark!" Renda threw a pokéball that released a kitsune-like creature. It had a crimson mane and claws, and the rest of its fur was black.

"Let's play, Lucario!" Aaron tossed the pokéball into the air, and out came everyone's favorite aura pokémon.

"Aura Sphere!" His Lucario charged up a shining blue ball of energy, and then fired it rapidly at the Zoroark, which took the full brunt of the hit. Said pokémon was instantly KO'd. Renda withdrew it, and shouted,

"Go, Machamp!" A massive, four-armed wrestler-like pokémon appeared. Aaron recalled Lucario, and tossed another pokéball, saying,

"Go, Alakazam!"

"Brick Breaker!" The Machamp charged his Alakazam, bringing its hand up in a swift motion.

"Dodge and counter with Psychic!" Alakazam teleported away, and then Renda's Machamp was flung about and knocked out.

**BGM END**

They both recalled their pokémon.

"One last pokémon?" Renda asked with a smirk.

"Strongest one." Aaron told him. Both of them were going to send out their strongest pokémon. They each reached for a single masterball.

"Let's destroy them, **GIRATINA!**" Renda threw out his masterball, and it released a monster that looked like it came straight from hell itself. Many soldiers pissed their pants in fear. Aaron smirked.

"You never learn, do you?" He chuckled.

"When it comes to fighting..." He tossed his pokéball into the air. (A/N: When you read the name of this next BGM, you'll KNOW that shit's gonna go down.)

**BGM ACTIVATED: ARCEUS' THEME**

"...I'm God..." As he finished his sentence, his pokéball opened and released the god of pokémon itself..._Arceus_. It was currently holding a Spooky Plate. (If you don't know Arceus' ability, go search it, and then you'll understand why.) Aaron pointed a finger at Giratina.

"**Judgement.**" Arceus gathered a ball of white energy at its mouth, and then fired a beam of it at Giratina, making the Distortion King cry out before falling on the ground.

**BGM END**

"I win." Renda growled at this.

"I'll be back! And next time, you'll fall to me!"

"We'll see about that!" Renda and his army disappeared in an explosion of darkness. Aaron clicked his wireless communicator, and asked,

"SOLARUS, has the city been evacuated?"

"_Yes, sir. We've evacuated all living citizens, and have killed off the remaining enemy forces in each of our sectors._" White Dwarf responded.

"Good, set up a barrier around the city and prepare for mass resurrection."

"_Sir, yes, sir!_" All seven responded. A few moments later, a blindingly yellow barrier appeared around the entire city, preventing anyone from entering. It also forced unwanted people out of itself, so as not to disturb the ritual. Aaron crossed his middle and index fingers.

"**Tajū Kage Bunshin no Jutsu!**" Multiple puffs of smoke appeared around the city, revealing them all to be clones of Aaron. The clones and Aaron began setting up seals on the ground, roofs, floors, etc.

"**Imperial Resurrection!**" Aaron and his clones slammed their hands into the ground, and the seals glowed. Suddenly, dead civilians began picking themselves up off the ground, their wounds healing.

"Mass resurrection is complete. Disable barrier and move out." Aaron ordered.

"_Hai!_" The seven said. The barrier disappeared, and he teleported back home while the team teleported to Ra'drith.

**Aaron's Sanctuary, Naruto-verse**

"Man, I'm getting so impatient..." Rich muttered. It had been an hour since Aaron left, and normally, it'd take him five minutes to mop up a bunch of darkness elementals. Suddenly, Aaron appeared out of thin air, startling everyone.

"Hey." He said, tiredly holding a hand up.

"Dude, where've you been? It's been an hour since you left!" Rich shouted.

"I basically cleared an entire city of elementals, and then fought Renda with swords, one technique, and pokémon. Then I resurrected every dead person in the city and came back here." Aaron explained. He then yawned.

"I'm going to sleep. You can all walk around and do what you want to do. We'll start lessons again tomorrow." With that, he walked off.

**Later, That Night**

"Aaron-san." Minato said, shaking Aaron's shoulder. Aaron simply grumbled and turned over in his bed.

"Aaron-san." Aaron's eyes opened.

"What?" He asked.

"Tsunade sent a messenger hawk. It seems she's given you an A-Rank mission. You, Rich, and May are to prepare at once." Minato was holding a scroll. Aaron sat up and took the scroll from him. He quickly scanned, it and then nodded.

"Alright. We'll leave in thirty minutes." Minato nodded back, and then walked off to send a hawk back.

**30 Minutes Later**

"Hey, Aaron? Where the hell are you going at 2:00 in the morning?" Rich whisper-shouted.

"I got a mission from Tsunade. She's Hokage until this whole war is settled."

"What's the mission about?"

"It says that we have to go to raid a bandit camp."

"We?" Rich asked.

"You, me, and May. Apparently, a lead to slave trafficking was found, and these guys are the main cause." Rich narrowed his eyes.

"Are we gonna give them a quick death?"

"Hell no. These bastards deserve to feel the pain they caused, especially since the trafficking is only women." Rich nodded and went to get May. When they came back, May and Rich were both all set.

"Let's kick their asses." Rich said.

**5 Miles Away, Bandit Camp**

"Guys I want you to stay behind for a sec. I'll deal with all these guys, and then I'll signal you when it's okay to follow." Rich and May nodded.

Aaron leaped high into the air, silent as a true ninja should be. He landed down without a noise, and searched for the bandits' armory. Making a few hand signs, he said,

"**Katon: Goukakyu no Jutsu**." A massive fireball engulfed the armory, destroying everything inside. Smoke flew above the bandit camp, and many came out of their tents, searching for the source.

"The armory's on fire!" Someone shouted.

"Who the fuck did this?" Aaron suddenly appeared in the middle of the entire camp.

"That would be me, gentlemen." Multiple bandits cracked their knuckles.

"Well, you're a dumb little shit, ain't ya? We're gonna kill you slowly and painfully, and then, we're gonna go rape those bitches we've got locked up!"

"Wait, what _bitches_?"

"Why does it matter to you? You're just gonna die anyways!" He put a mental note that said to check out what the guy was talking about later.

"This is unfair, isn't it?" Aaron asked them.

"Too bad. You should have brought backup." He suddenly started laughing.

"Not for me! I meant for you guys! I mean, seriously, this isn't even a warm-up to me!" Growls were heard.

"Then you will die!" Bandit cannon fodder #31 shouted, raising an axe. Aaron simply reached back and punched a hole in the guy's stomach, making everyone's eyes widen as he fell to the ground, dead. Aaron removed his hand, and shook the blood off. He then activated his Elder Sharingan.

"Holy shit..." Someone muttered.

"You guys picked the wrong elf to fuck with today." Aaron said, drawing Amaterasu.

"I-I-It's..._Uchiha Hiroshi_!" Aaron smirked, a small breeze picking up.

"Damn straight it is." He then pointed his sword at the group.

"You all have been found guilty of slave trafficking. Not only that, but I can see in your eyes the lust one gets from raping someone. You are too vile to be spared. Your only solution...is death." To prove his point, Aaron shot straight forward and cleaved through about 20 different bandits.

"Now...let's dance." Aaron then leaped about, decapitating, bisecting, maiming, and all in all utterly owning the bandit camp. If you had been there that night, you might've seen the devil himself slaughtering all these men. When he was done, blood soaked the ground underneath Aaron. He placed his hand on the leader's forehead, and began to shift through his memories. When he saw what he needed to see, Aaron signaled May and Rich, who both immediately came to him.

"Guys, I can tell you right now that you are about to see something gruesome. If you don't want to see, just stay up here." Both May and Rich affirmed that they had to do this to see if they could help anyone. He created five KBs to watch, headed with them for the main tent, and found a small wooden door that led underground. He slowly opened it and they climbed down. It was some sort of prison. Making their way to the first cell, the three gasped in horror.

**WARNING!** **WARNING!** **HORRIFYING SCENE APPROACHING!** **IF YOU DO NOT WISH TO READ IT, SKIP AHEAD TO AFTER THE SCENE!**

Three women lay limp in the iron cell. The only clothes on them were torn and shredded rags, which did nothing to hide their nude figures. Hardened old semen covered most of their bodies. The first one he saw was a beautiful woman, maybe eighteen. She had exotic silver hair, and an hourglass figure to die for. But when he saw her eyes, he would've murdered the bandits if he hadn't done so already. Her purple eyes had no trace of any will in them. They were broken, dead eyes that made Aaron furious. Rich clenched his fists so tightly that he drew blood, May nearly puked in shock. Aaron clicked his communicator.

"Satan. Come in, Satan." A voice responded back after a few seconds.

"_Yeah, I'm here. What's up?_"

"I just sent about 60 guys your way."

"_And?_"

"Make them suffer."

"_What's the reason?_"

"Female slave trafficking, rape, torture, and starvation. Give 'em the Outer Ring of the Seventh Circle."

"_Can do._" Aaron stopped the chat, and then looked through the rest of the cells. There were a couple of dead women, but most were just barely alive. Aaron walked bravely into the first cell. The silver-haired girl reached out to him like she had been broken to do, putting a hand on his crotch area. Aaron put his right hand on top of hers, moved it away, and looked at her seriously.

"Don't worry. You're getting out of here."

**END OF HORRIFYNG SCENE!****SKIP AHEAD TO HERE IF YOU DO NOT WISH TO READ!**

"Guys, I want you to leave for a second. I'm about to heal them all." Rich grunted, and May nodded with tears in her eyes. They both quickly ran out, and Aaron ran through hand signs.

"**Keiton: Tajū Pyua Chi** (Light Release: Mass Pure Healing)**.**" A bright light then filled the entire area, covering everything.

**1 Day Later**

Aaron sighed as he sat down on his bed in the sanctuary.

"Hey, you alright?" Rich asked when he walked in. He waited a bit before answering.

"I'm fine. You know, you asked that question the day before we came to this world, remember?" Aaron asked back. Rich nodded.

"Yeah, I know. Brings back memories. To think, all those times you could make music from a single blade of grass; they were only because you were an elf." Aaron nodded.

"I need something to get my mind off of the whole bandit camp thing." He then told Rich. Rich thought for a moment.

"Be right back!" He disappeared in a yellow flash, and reappeared with Anko.

"A little hint: '_Stop. Hammertime!_'" Rich said as he winked and then flashed off. Aaron cupped his chin with his thumb and index finger.

"Hmm...sex in a sanctuary?" Anko smirked.

"It's kinda kinky, though." She crawled straight up to him and began tracing a finger up his chest.

"Doing something so..._impure_..." Anko whispered.

"In a purifying place...Makes me..._horny_..." Aaron felt a shudder go down his spine. He snapped his fingers, and three things happened.

1. A sound barrier was placed over the room.

2. Their clothes disappeared.

3. The door locked itself.

"Let's do this."

* * *

><p>And that was Chapter 14! Thank you for reading this far and I'll update soon!<p>

**~Jinso-(kun, sama, san, whatever the hell you wanna add)**


	15. True Forms!

**DISCLAIMER: When I was your age, we didn't have Nur-u-to. WE HAD THE FLINTSTONES! I don't own either...*sob***

PARTY ROCK IS IN THE HOUSE TONIGHT!

(Me no own LMFAO's Party Rock Anthem)

COFB Chapter 15- True Forms!

**The Next Day**

Aaron stood in front of the gathered shinobi.

"Today, I will first be teaching you another lesson in spirituality. Tell me, have any of you heard of a 'true form'?" A few hands went up.

"If you haven't, then listen. EVERY living person and animal has a true form. This form is what they would look like if their full potential was completely unlocked. For instance, a certain lion's true form might be that it is five times larger, has two heads, is blue, and can breathe fire. You can unlock and control this form through many years of training and discipline; at least 300." Many were outraged.

"But wouldn't we die before doing so?" Iwa-nin #27 asked. Aaron nodded.

"In most cases, that is true. But, since we are close to war with Renda, and his minions are far beyond a Kage, I have a solution to that. I have created a technique that will allow me to bring out your full potential, but only for as long as I allow it. Once this war is over, most, if not all of you, will never access this power again." He let the meaning sink in for a bit.

"So are _you_ in your true form?" Aaron shook his head no.

"Not completely. I have hidden some aspects of my true form for a few reasons, which I will not say. However, I can tell you this: in it, almost all of my facial features are the same, my ears are the same, and my skin is the same. If you really wish to see it, then very well." He stuck his feet side by side, and held his arms outwards. A bright glow enveloped the massive room, and then died down. Aaron's hair was longer, like Inuyasha's hair, except shorter, and had gold and maroon streaks in it. His eyes were now pupil-less, like a Hyuuga's, but they still maintained that blue green yin-yang swirl. Two black-skinned dragon wings with golden membranes stuck out from his shoulder blades, flapping every once in a while. Two gold horns stuck out from his hair. His fingers were now more claw-like, with his nails sharpened like talons. A black tail with gold bone spikes came out of his pants from his backside, shifting around.

"Goddammit, I hate going into this form while wearing a shirt!" Aaron exclaimed. Where his wings stuck out from his shirt, there was a large amount of tears. Aaron simply grabbed his shirt, and tore it off, revealing his bare chest.

"Much better." Suddenly, a bandaged Samehada came slicing down at Aaron, who dodged the stroke.

"Ah, Kisame. Right on time, I see. That's more than I could ever say for a certain _Ero-Inu_ (Perverted Dog)." He commented. Kakashi seemed to be blushing under his mask.

"Well, let's have a fight then. Samehada's getting a bit excited over your chakra." Aaron shook his head no.

"Not yet. We still have to do the next lesson." Mei Terumi marched right up to Aaron.

"Would you please explain to me why an S-Ranked criminal from my village is in this sanctuary?" Aaron held his hand out to Kisame with a shit-eating grin on his face.

"Told you she'd ask. Pay up, bitch." Kisame grumbled, took 50 Ryo out of his pocket, and gave it to Aaron, who pocketed the money. He turned back to Mei.

"Well, Kisame's not the only person who's with me here. He snapped his fingers, and a large set of doors opened. Out walked four people.

"Nagato, Hiruzen Sarutobi, Haku Momochi, and Zabuza Momochi are here also." The crowd gazed in wonder.

"This is your next lesson, which I was going to explain yesterday, but as you know, I was interrupted, yadda, yadda, yadda...I am teaching you how to face your resurrected allies. I know some of these people are not your allies, but just go with it." Holding up a finger to tell them to hold on, he ran through at least 20 hand seals and slammed his palm on the ground. A barrier of light flashed up around the area, then disappeared.

"There. For the next 72 hours, no one in this room can die unless I say so." He snapped his fingers again, and Nagato's previous Paths of Pain appeared.

"Also, Nagato, you can have your Paths back." Nagato grinned.

"There's something I've always wanted to try out. Come here for a second." Aaron walked over, and Nagato whispered something in his ear. The elf nodded, and created a KB. The Deva Path, who shall just be called Pein so as not to confuse anyone, walked over to the KB.

"**Shinra Tensei Bitch Slap**!" Pein raised his hand and used the gravity to bitchslap the KB into the wall, making it disperse.

"Sweeeeet..."

"Kisame, follow me. We're gonna have that sword battle you always wanted." Aaron then said.

"But don't we have to do the lesson?" Our hero sighed, made a KB, and pointed to it, saying,

"Just use your shape shifting body technique thing." Kisame nodded, did the jutsu (A/N: I'm honestly too lazy to even write the fucking hand seals...or _name_ the fucking thing...so google it or something.), and the KB turned into Kisame.

"Now, fight!" Kisame and Aaron walked off as the massive battle commenced.

**Konan vs Nagato**

"Nagato." She said.

"Konan." He responded. There was an awkward silence for a moment.

"So how'd you die?" Konan then asked.

"Eh, you know, I...sorta..._fell on a spike_..." He whispered the last part, but she could still hear it.

_FLASHBACK ALERT! FLASHBACK ALERT!_

_Nagato yelled as he fell down from the sky and onto a big, fat, grey spike._

"_Oooo, nice death spike." Someone standing nearby said._

"_Yes, very nice." A person beside them responded._ (A/N: BTW, I borrowed this from a Youtube video.)

_FLASHBACK ENDING! FLASHBACK ENDING!_

Konan winced.

"That's GOTTA hurt." Nagato nodded.

"Yes, it did."

"Also, how did Kisame die?"

"Ironically, he was killed at a sushi restaurant."

"..."

**Aaron and Kisame**

"So, are you ready to see..." Aaron began.

"Which is better;" Kisame continued.

"A sword that slices..."

"Or a sword that shaves?" Kisame finished. Aaron had gotten out of his true form and into what he called his "Mostly-True Form", which was his regular look. He drew Shinriken (Truth Sword), and held it at his side. Kisame lifted Samehada off of his back, and let the end hit the ground, creating a small crater. Waiting silently, both fighters stood apart from each other for at least thirty minutes. By then, a small crowd had formed around the two, made up of shinobi who were done fighting. Almost immediately, Kisame smirked.

"Well, now that the crowd's here, what'dya say we begin?" Our favorite shark-man asked. Aaron nodded with a ferocious grin. Aaron held Shinriken at his side and charged towards Kisame. Said were-shark raised Samehada, trying to smack Aaron underneath it. Unfortunately for him, the elf jumped with a graceful flip into the air, and slashed downward. Kisame parried the blow, and batted Aaron away. Aaron skid across the ground whilst holding his shoulder.

"God_dammit_, that hurst!" His shoulder had had the flesh torn off of it, and perpendicular lines covered it. Aaron waved a green-glowing hand over his shoulder, and the wound healed, not even leaving a scar. Smirking at Kisame, he crossed his middle and index fingers. Two KBs appeared beside him, each holding their own copies of Shinriken. The three jumped in the air, and began violently rotating in a circular form. They landed on the ground and dashed toward Kisame, tearing up the beryl ground. Kisame jumped away from the trio as they collided, forming a triple buzz-saw of death.

"Hot damn..." He muttered. Aaron's two KBs dispersed as Kisame landed on the ground. Aaron dashed toward Kisame once more, intent on beating him, when Samehada was smashed into his crotch, leaving him gasping for air. Unfortunately for Kisame, Anko chose to arrive at that moment.

"My husband! I'LL KILL YOU, YOU BASTARD!"

Ah, yes. Anko was about to go psycho divine wrath bitch on his sharky ass. But suddenly, Aaron chuckled and said one word.

"Kaboom." In a massive explosion, Aaron blew up, knocking Kisame on his ass. He got up and looked around.

"Where is he? Right, left, up?" Kisame asked.

"No, DOWN!" Aaron's voice came below him.

"**Doton: Shinjū Zanshu no Jutsu!** (Earth Release: Double Suicide Decapitation Technique)" He cried as his hand reached out and pulled Kisame into the ground. Kakashi went wide-eyed for a moment.

"Whoa...déjà vu..." He commented holding his cranium. Aaron came up from the ground right in front of Kisame, and held his sword at his neck.

"Do you yield?" Kisame sighed.

"Yeah, I give. But I'm _so_ getting you back for this." Aaron pulled Kisame out of the ground, and sheathed Shinriken.

"Tomorrow, we'll all be practicing what we've learned today, and your final two lessons." Aaron went to leave, but turned around with a foxy grin plastered on his face.

"And something else...You can wander about for two more hours, but then you will be punished if I find you away from your areas. Good day." He then walked off.

**Half an Hour Later**

"Ah, sweet, a pair of fake glasses!" Rich said. On the ground was a pair of yellow and light blue glasses without the bottom frames. Rich then put them on, and looked around. The moment his eyes landed on a woman, particularly the Mizukage, his face turned red and steam shot from his ears. He was seeing right through her clothes!

"Holy shit!" He nearly shouted. Aaron immediately appeared right beside him.

"What's up? Are we under attack? DID SOMEONE TAKE MY POCKY!" The elf began having a spazz attack.

"None of that! There's something wrong with these glasses!" Aaron got in front of Rich and began inspecting the glasses. After a few moments, he cursed.

"Rich, whatever you do, don't turn the yellow dial. I'll be right back." With that, Aaron disappeared. Of course, Rich's curiosity got the better of him, and he turned the dial on the side of the glasses. The image enhanced, and now he looked like a tomato's older cousin. Why? Every woman now looked naked to him. Blood began seeping from his nostrils. At that moment, Aaron appeared again with Fate beside him, and, seeing Rich's expression, sighed and facepalmed.

"Goddammit, I TOLD you NOT to turn the dial! What the hell, man! What the hell!" Our favorite elf then turned to Fate.

"Now, Fate..." He began in a sickeningly sweet tone.

"Mind telling me why the_ hell_ you borrowed those special glasses from Motto ToLoveRu?" Fate began sweating.

"Uh...well...um...you see, I...um..." He stuttered.

"NEVER FUCKING MIND! Your punishment...is that you have to work Kami's pegasus stables each day for a week." As if that wasn't bad enough, by the look on Fate's face, Aaron continued.

"That _includes_ feeding, cleaning, and poop-scooping." Fate got on his knees and bawled.

"!"

**The Next Day**

"Good, you're all here. Today we begin our final two lessons, as well as..._something else_..." He snickered.

"Ok, everyone, gather here..." They all did so.

"AND HOLD ONTO YOUR LUNCH!" Immediately, they were all sucked up into a portal and landed in a lush green field. In the distance, a tall castle stood proud above a small town. Also in the distance, there was a huge lake with one single dock.

"Ugh...where the hell—Aaron, don't tell me you brought us to..." He left the question hanging.

"Where? Brought us to where?" Minato asked. Aaron simply gave a nostalgic smile as he answered,

"Welcome to Hyrule." Everyone who had fallen on their butts got up and looked around.

"Damn, this place looks beautiful..." Sasuke commented. Even he was amazed. Naruto took that moment to whip out a camera and snap a photo of his OOC face.

"That one's goin' in the album." The blonde merely said.

"Now, all of you follow me. We're going deep in these woods, and believe me; you DON'T want to get lost."

**Later in the forest, Master Sword Shrine**

"What is that?" Naruto asked. Aaron gazed proudly upon the Master Sword, which lay buried to its point in a stone shrine.

"That...is the Master Sword; **The Blade of Evil's Bane**. This sword was created by the goddess Hylia, and was first known as the Goddess Sword. Hylia herself imbued this sword with the power to repel evil. This sword is practically sentient, as it chooses who may wield it and who may not. Its wielder must have gone through great trials that tested their courage, power, and wisdom to prove them worthy of using it." He then gestured to said sword.

"I am going to let each of you try to wield the sword. Keep in mind, only ONE of you will actually be able to." Everyone nodded, and began trying.

**30 Minutes Later**

About half of the entire group had already tried, and of course failed. Suddenly, Aaron heard a cry of,

"I did it!" He quickly turned towards the group to see...

AUTHOR HIDEN KAMITON: CLIFFHANGER NO JUTSU!

So, who do you guys think got the Master Sword? Tune in next chapter to find out!

Sayonara!

**~Jinso-kun**


	16. Preparation and Relaxation

**DISCLAIMER: I DON'T NARUTO, GODDAMMIT! HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO FUCKING SAY IT BEFORE YOU DUMBASS LAWYERS GET OFF MY MOTHERFUCKIN' LAWN!**

BTW, this chapter has major spoilers for the Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess video game, so if you haven't beaten the game, then you should stop reading this story until you do just that.

COFB Chapter 16- Preparation and Relaxation

Aaron turned around to see...

Naruto holding the Master Sword. He nodded with a smirk.

"Well, we have a winner. Time for your second to last lesson. Follow me." He began to lead them out of the woods when a piercing shriek was heard, paralyzing some of them.

"Shit, it's a Redead! Naruto, quick, cut its head off with the Master Sword!" Aaron shouted at the blonde, pointing behind him. Naruto nodded and turned around. He then turned, charged, and sliced the humanoid creature's head off. The few shinobi who were paralyzed recovered.

"Dammit, Aaron, couldn't you have warned us that there was a Redead nearby?" Rich nearly shouted. Aaron shrugged.

"I could have, but Naruto wouldn't have learned how to use the Master Sword properly, now would he?" The elf replied cheekily. He then led them out of the woods and into Hyrule Field.

"Ok, second to last lesson! Now, you're all going to practice battling monsters, which I will contain, so that you can get a feel of something truly evil." He blinked owlishly for a second, and then mumbled,

"Damn Dr. Seuss books..." Looking back up, he snapped his fingers, and Redeads, Babas, Bokoblins, Kartaroks, and various other monsters appeared inside cages, howling, yelling, growling, and in general acting pissed as hell.

"Also, I will transform into another, bigger monster to help." Making hand seals, he shouted,

"**Henge**!" In a gigantic puff of smoke, Ganon was standing in front of them, roaring.

"Aw, come on!" A male voice yelled from a bit away. Everyone, including the henged Aaron, turned to see Link running up in his Hero's Clothes (The clothes he wears as an adult in Ocarina of Time and his main clothes in Twilight Princess). Link saw Naruto holding the Master Sword, and said,

"Hey, kid! Toss that over here!" Naruto looked at him confusedly, and then back at Aaron. Aaron/Henge Ganon let out a big sigh, and un-henged himself.

"Calm down, man. I was just helping these people train." Link looked bewilderedly at Aaron.

"Who are you?" Aaron again sighed.

"This might refresh your memory." Aaron held his arms out beside him, and began glowing until his entire body was covered in light. He then spoke something in a language that apparently only Link could understand.

Aaron stopped glowing.

"Remember now?" Link was wide-eyed.

"How—How are you—what are you—when did you—HOW ARE YOU AN ACTUAL HUMAN BEING!" Our favorite Hylian shouted.

"Calm down, man, calm down. First of all, I'm not a human being by the way. I'm an elf. Note the frickin' pointy ears." Aaron used both hands to point to said "frickin' pointy ears".

"Second of all, I ordered the sages to tell you that Ganondorf was behind all of the Twilight in the light world and all that dungeon master bullshit. Third of all, I'm crude as fuck and I don't give a shit if you hate my fucking cursing, alright? Fourth of all, that blonde over there," He jerked his thumb back at Naruto.

"With the Master Sword is the person I've chosen to help me beat this crazy-ass darkness god in my dimension and save an entire planet for the THIRD. FUCKING. TIME. And finally, as to your question about what I am, I'm a ninja, an elf, a warrior, a prince, and a damn fucking awesome god all in one, 'kay?" Link just nodded dumbly.

"Now, I'm going to need you to teach the blond I mentioned—his name is Naruto, by the way—all of the hidden skills you learned from your ancestor—the Hero's Spirit—or whatever the fuck it's called." Link gaped.

"H—How did you—"

"Up-bup-bup! Teach...him...**the fucking skills**..." Aaron first said calmly, but then in a demonic voice, which freaked out everyone's favorite LoZ protagonist. Link nodded dumbly and took Naruto away to train. Aaron then henged into Ganon and began the second to last lesson.

**The Next Day, Hyrule Field**

**BGM ACTIVATED: LEGEND OF ZELDA TWILIGHT PRINCESS: HIDDEN SKILL LEARNING THEME**

"Ok, guys. It's time for your final lesson." Aaron announced. Murmurs were getting passed around like...like...like your mom at a party.

**BGM DEACTIVATED**

*gets a high five*

**BGM REACTIVATED**

"Tell me...what is the MOST IMPORTANT attribute for a person in group in any fight?" A few people raised their hands.

"Strength?"

"Wisdom?"

"Courage?" Aaron shook his head no.

"Yes, all of those things ARE important, but the MOST is trust. Without trust in a general, you cannot have the strength of combined men in an army. Without the soldiers' trust, a general does not have the right wisdom to lead his army. And without both parts having trust in each other, no-one has the courage to go to war. Trust is key in ANY fight." Aaron faced away from the group.

"That is why for your final lesson...you all have to work together...or you'll probably die..."

"What do you mean?" a Kiri-nin asked, but then they became too afraid to know the answer. Aaron's only answer was to suddenly glow and transform. His height increased multiple times, until he was the size of the Great Deku Tree. Dragon wings spread from his shoulders to his hands. His humanoid face morphed into a reptilian one. A spiky tail grew out of the back of his pants as all of his clothes ripped apart and into pieces. His legs grew thicker, and talons and claws grew from his nails. All of Aaron's teeth turned to sharpened fangs. He raised his head and bellowed a mighty roar. As he did, a bunch of text appeared out of nowhere and a mix of Ganondorf's Theme from TP and Zant's Theme started playing while the previous one ended, like a LoZ boss battle.

**Illyon's Ultimate Form**

**DESTERAX**

Everyone drew their own personal weapons. Naruto drew the Master Sword and Link drew his bow and arrows.

"Desterax" began breathing fire at the group.

"Crap, it's like Argorok again! Get to the highest point available and find its weak spot!" Link shouted. Link pulled out his Double Clawshot and latched onto a tall tree, pulling himself upwards. All the ninja saw his action, and then each mimicked it themselves, jumping from branch to branch and using various other techniques. Link began shooting arrows at "Desterax", who felt them _plink_ against his "skin", and then turned and spewed fire at the Hylian. Link immediately jumped down from the tree, rolled on the ground, and quickly picked up a piece of horse grass. Blowing into it, he called Epona, who came galloping towards him. Epona saw "Desterax" and began to freak out. Link quickly calmed her down while the shinobi used various attacks to distract "Desterax" from attacking Link.

When Link's mighty steed was calm, he began circling "Desterax", trying to locate a weak spot. Since he couldn't from the ground, Link sent Epona away and clawshot'd himself up to where Naruto was. From there he and Naruto could both see a miniscule golden orb on "Desterax"'s right elbow.

"Is that the weak spot?" Naruto asked, pointing to it.

"Yeah, it is." Link began to plot out strategies in his head when his eyes fell on the Master Sword, which was sheathed on Naruto's back.

"Hey, kid. You ever heard of baseball?" (I know there's no baseball in Hyrule, but just go along with it for fuck's sake!) Link asked. Naruto nodded.

"My brother explained some of it to me. You gotta hit this fast ball with a wooden bat, right?" Link nodded back.

"I got a plan. I need you to stand directly across from that thing's right elbow. Make sure you're at a 45 degree angle in conjunction with me and the elbow. I'm gonna throw a bomb at you, and when it nears you, I want you to hit it as hard as you can with the Master Sword, and make sure to aim for the weak spot. Ok?" Naruto grunted and affirmative. The blonde then leaped off to another tree and lined up with Link and "Desterax".

"Everyone, attack that thing's right elbow! The weak spot's right there!" Link shouted to the shinobi. Kunai, shuriken, arrows, and other various weapons made of energy were sent flying at "Desterax"'s elbow, making it roar in pain. Suddenly, Desterax dropped to one knee, huffing and puffing. Its right elbow was pointed directly at Naruto.

"Kid, now!" Link shouted, chucking a bomb at Naruto. Naruto raised the Master Sword over his shoulder, and then swung with all his might.

**CRACK!**

_**BOOM!**_

His aim struck true, sending the bomb directly into "Desterax"'s elbow, where it collided and blew up. Desterax began stumbling around in pain before giving a final roar, and falling to the ground. Everyone leaped down from the trees and looked in awe and a little bit of fear.

"D-did we just k-k-kill him?" A Leaf Shinobi asked with a stutter. "Desterax" suddenly glowed and began shrinking until it was just Aaron lying on the ground. But two things were wrong with picture; First of all, he was BUTT NEKKID. And second of all, he had a shitload of arrows and other projectiles sticking out of his elbow. All the females suddenly got stars in their eyes, and were about to turn him over to see the sunny side of the world when he woke up. Quickly realizing his situation, Aaron instantly warped some clothes onto his body, disappointing the females of the group. Although, as he stood up, his arm fell off from the elbow down, making the group let out a collective wince.

" 'Tis but a flesh wound." He replied, immediately grabbing his arm, sticking it back on, and waving a green-glowing hand over it, instantly reattaching the torn limb. Aaron grabbed the arrows and stuff and yanked them all out at the same time. He then healed the wound in the same fashion as before.

"Well, you all did well." Turning around, he announced,

"I've received intel that Renda intends to march to war in five days. You have two whole days to explore the land before we leave. Go off, now." With that, everyone began splitting up to look around. Link was about to leave when Aaron stopped him.

"Hey, Link..." Said Hylian turned around.

"Yeah?"

"You remember that guy named Purlo who was a greedy little fucker towards you?"

"Yeah?" Aaron grew a devious smirk.

"Whatdd'ya say to some payback?" Now it was Link's turn to smirk.

"I say he better watch out."

**Payback Target: Purlo**

Aaron and Link walked into the Star Game tent in Castle Town, frightening the piss out of Purlo.

"Not you again..." The conman whispered. Link shook his head.

"No, I'm not here to play. My friend is." He responded, gesturing to Aaron.

"A new challenger! That is great, my friend! Now, for the price of 10 rupees, you can play the STAR game!" Aaron reached behind his own back, and made a yellow rupee appear.

"Sign me up." He said with a smirk.

**Inside the Cage**

"You have 30 seconds! Ready...set...GO!" Aaron began teleporting throughout the cage, gathering star after star, and finished within 2 seconds, completely owning the previous record. Purlo's jaw hit the ground with a _clang_. Aaron then reappeared outside the cage.

"I'd like my prize now." He said, holding out his hand. Purlo simply reached away and then handed Aaron a Clawshot, which had been propogated after Link had won multiple times using one and then two of them. Aaron put the Clawshot in his pocket dimension and he and Link walked out. The three fangirls squealed the moment they were outside. Aaron's ears could hear them whispering.

"Ohmygosh, ohmygosh, who's the new guy? He's hot!" One of them said.

"If that's not enough, he and the previous champion are friends! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKK!" Another squealed.

"Uh, Link...we better get out of here unless you want to find out just why fangirl victims go insane..." That was all Link needed for the two to bolt to the Central Square and then to Telma's Bar when the fangirls were still following them.

**Telma's Bar**

"Oh my god, I'm never going near that tent AGAIN!" Link said, panting heavily as Aaron slammed the door shut behind them.

"Link, honey, is something wrong? And who's your friend?" Telma asked as she walked up. Link started spazzing.

"STAR game...*wheeze*...he got new record...*wheeze*...fangirls...*wheeze*...chasing us everywhere!" The Hylian finally finished. Aaron was still normal in his breathing and waved hello.

" 'Sup? I'm Aaron." Telma held her hand out and he shook it.

"My name's Telma. Pleased to meet you." Aaron looked around for a bit before walking down to a barstool. He picked up a menu and began looking.

"Damn, I need some alcohol. I haven't had any in eight freaking months!" (That's how many months they've been training a total of) He turned to Telma.

"Could I have a mug of the Kakariko Uppercut?" (Came up with that one myself) Telma smiled and said,

"Sure thing. Be right back." She then walked into a different room to gather some materials. Aaron turned to Link.

"Hey, you ever had any alcohol before?" He asked.

"No. I never really thought about it before, with the whole 'killing ganondorf' thing. Plus, I'm a bit too young." Aaron started chuckling.

"We got a saying in the shinobi business: 'Old enough to kill, old enough to drink and fuck.' And you, my friend, have done quite a bit of monster killing, am I right?" Link nodded with a blush, as Aaron had mentioned having sex.

"Listen, Link. You may be embarrassed about sex right now, but trust me, when you have it for the first time, it's like doing drugs without the side effects. It feels good for a VERY good reason."

"Did you know that I'm actually married?" He then asked after turning back to the bar.

"Sex with different people feels different depending on whom. With someone you dislike, it doesn't feel very good. With someone like a prostitute, it feels regular. But there is NOTHING like having it with a loved one. It's like floating on Cloud Nine while being served your favorite food by someone you think is extremely hot. Take a moment to imagine that." Link grew a thoughtful look before his eyes glazed over and he began drooling. Aaron chuckled and immediately warped himself inside Link's mind.

**Link's Daydream**

Aaron reappeared on a tropical island beach across from Link, who was sitting in a beach chair alongside Midna in her true form and Zelda, who were both wearing very revealing bikinis might I add, and he was being fanned by Ilia, who was also in a bikini. On top of that, a bunch of hot girls were splashing around in the ocean with no tops on, and some were even kissing each other. (A/N: Yeah, really shows what kinds of things I can imagine...XD)

"Damn, Link! You're a regular teenage boy, aren't you?" Aaron asked with a chuckle. Link looked at him with a startle.

"Seriously? I can teleport, I can fly, I can blast LASER BEAMS from my fucking HANDS, I can go between dimensions, I can open portals with a snap of my fingers, I can never completely die, and among other things, I can go twelve rounds of sex without fainting, and the ONE thing you're surprised about is the fact that I can get inside your mind?" Aaron questioned sarcastically. Link shrugged. Aaron then looked around.

"Man, even Jiraiya couldn't think up this in his freakiest state." He commented.

"Who's Jiraiya?" Link then asked.

"Jiraiya is this old perv I know. He's like 60 years old, but he's one of the strongest ninja ever. He literally has written and is still writing a series of porno books—I think he's written about 10-15 of them so far—based off of things he's seen and heard. He even made a MOVIE off of his books." Link gaped.

"Wow...he must be the #1 author back where you came from." Aaron started laughing.

"He used to be until I came along!" The elf then started clutching his sides in laughter. After a fit of hilarity, he got up off the ground and wiped a tear from his eye.

"I wrote ONE book and immediately took his spot. The funny thing is, his stories aren't about things that actually happened, and yet one single book that told a true story immediately beat an entire franchise of his books!"

"What was the story you wrote about?" Aaron then uncharacteristically sighed.

"Well, if I told you, you wouldn't believe me."

"I'm pretty sure I would."

"The story is about this thing that took place on my home world, which is actually not the place I came here from. So summing it up, I had two different souls at the time, my earthly soul, which was my body that was not in the heavens, and then my heavenly soul, which performed all my duties as a god—and yes, I am a god. One day, and evil king rose to power on my home world. He proceeded to terrorize and conquer all the land. I and a band of my closest allies and even some of my mortal enemies all went on a quest to defeat him. So basically it talks about the journey and the final confrontation, in which my earthly body sacrificed itself to save the entire world, and since my heavenly body and my earthly body were linked, one could not exist without the other. So my entire being died. I was reincarnated about 2000 years later, as the prince of my homeworld." Link gave a long whistle.

"Wow. I don't think I've ever had to do anything quite like that." Aaron let out a low chuckle.

"No, you haven't. Now, let's get out of here for a bit. I hear my Kakariko Uppercut approaching." With that, he and Link were warped out of Link's mind.

**Back inside Telma's Bar**

Aaron and Link reappeared right as Telma came back to the counter, setting a frothing mug on the counter. Aaron grabbed it by the handle and chugged it right down. When he finished, he set the mug on the counter and gave a happy sigh.

"Man, that's just like the stuff back home!" He exclaimed. Telma smiled.

"Glad you like it." Aaron then turned to Link.

"Well, we better be going. We have some errands to run."

"What kind of errands?" Telma asked.

"Oh, you know, things like visiting old friends and playing pranks on our enemies. Stuff like that."

"Well, you have fun." Aaron got up and walked out of Telma's bar with Link.

"Hey, Link, you ever thought about seeing Midna again?" Link looked shocked at that.

"But didn't she utterly destroy the Mirror of Twilight? Isn't that the only way into the Twilight Realm?" Aaron nodded.

"True and true, but there is a way to fix it." Link's eyes widened.

"H-How?" Aaron chuckled.

"Tell me, what is the polar opposite of darkness?"

"Light."

"Darkness is used to destroy most of the time, right? Well, light is used to repair most of the time. Just a simple bit of my essence, and you got yourself a brand new Mirror of Twilight."

"Sweet! Let's go!" Aaron snapped his fingers and the two were warped all the way to the Mirror Chamber in the Arbiter's Grounds.

**Mirror Chamber**

The two long-eared fellows appeared right in front of the pedestal where the Mirror of Twilight once stood. Only, Aaron was wearing a long black cloak that hid all but his lower face and mouth from view.

"Why are you wearing a cloak?"

"I call this my "Mind Fuck Cloak". I basically use it to freak the shit out of someone. Now, watch carefully." Aaron held his hands apart, one below his midsection, and one above. A mid-sized ball of condensed light began growing in the space between them. Then, Aaron held out his right arm, and half of the ball of light stretched out and gathered a large number of miniscule pieces of the Mirror of Twilight and held them in the air. Then he held out his left arm, and the same process occurred. Finally, he brought his arms in a semicircle motions and clapped them together, fusing the mirror shards together and recreating the Mirror of Twilight.

"There you go, good as new. Now let's go to the Twilight Realm." Link nodded, stepped on the glowing part of the platform, and he and Aaron dispersed into Twilight particles and went into the Twilight Realm.

**Twilight Realm**

Midna was taking a stroll near the entrance to the Twilight Realm that was shown in the game when a bright light flashed, blinding her and everyone in the area. Suddenly, the portal to the world of light opened up.

'_What? The portal opened? But I broke the Mirror forever!_' She exclaimed in her mind. Two figures appeared from the portal. One was a cloaked man with only his mouth, chin, and lower face showing. The other...

'_I-Is that...That shouldn't be possible!_' It was Link. He was standing right there! Right in front of her, smiling!

"There you go, Link. You're in the Twilight Realm once more." Link looked around before spotting Midna.

"Hey, Midna!" Tears welled up in the Twilight Princess's eyes. She immediately ran up and hugged the green-clad hero.

"Link...I missed you!" Link embraced her back.

"It's good to see you, too, Midna."

"H-How did you get here? I broke the Mirror, remember?" Midna asked him. Link simply jerked his thumb at Aaron.

"I fixed it." The elf replied.

"But...who are you?" She asked Aaron. Aaron pulled his hood down, revealing his jet-black hair, his blue and green yin-yang eyes, and his long ears.

"My name is Illyon, but I prefer to be called Aaron."

"Illyon? As in 'Illyon, the Lord of Light, Vanquisher of Darkness, and Creator of Worlds'?" Aaron laughed sheepishly and rubbed the back of his head.

"Yeah, that's me. But I honestly don't see the need for such a big fuss. My story's been told a thousand times. A new one has yet to come." He replied. Midna bowed.

"It is an honor to meet you."

"The honor's all mine. It's not every day you get to meet the ruler of the Twili." Aaron then turned to Link.

"Well, my little Hylian friend, I believe you've got some catching up to do. If you need me, I will be taking a stroll around this area." With that, he walked off, leaving the two alone.

**Park**

Aaron sat down underneath a tree made of twilight, leaned his head back, and closed his eyes.

"Um...Mr. Illyon, sir?" A small, light voice asked. Aaron quickly looked to find a small Twili child.

"What is it, young Twili?"

"Do you...do you like the Twilight Realm?" The child, a boy, asked.

"I do. It is a very beautiful place. Everything here is so vivid and mystical." Aaron replied kindly. The Twili boy smiled.

"You think so?" Aaron nodded.

"What is your name?"

"M-My name is Reino, sir."

"Now, now, Reino, there's no need to call me sir. I am perfectly happy with just being called Illyon."

"O-Okay, Mr. Illyon." Aaron was silent for a moment.

"Tell me, Reino, have you ever seen a sunrise?" Reino shook his head no.

"I don't even know what a sunrise is." Aaron smiled.

"Imagine for a moment that a big ball of light is coming up on the horizon." Reino winced a little bit.

"It's not a harmful ball of light, though. It's serene, calming, and it makes the sky into a multitude of colors. And when you watch it happen, it seems to go on forever, and you never want to stop looking at it." Reino's wince turned to a happy smile.

"Now, having imagined a sunrise, would you like to see one?" Reino nodded excitedly.

"Yes, Mr. Illyon. I really would." Aaron nodded back and got up.

"Then watch closely." He replied. Aaron held his hands apart at the sides of his chest. A small ball of light slowly grew in between them. He then held it above his right hand and shot it forward, out towards a shadowy horizon. A bright glow appeared for a moment, but faded quickly. Then, a pinkish glow began creeping up far out. It slowly grew, and the black sky turned a mix of pink, blue, yellow, orange, and purple. Link and Midna both were walking up when this happened. Ever so beautifully, a Twilight version of the sun rose from the horizon, and cast a literal new light on the Twilight Realm. Aaron turned around and bowed to Midna, seeming as though he had known she was there the entire time.

"I must go now. If you are ever in need of help or martial forces, I will be there." With that, Aaron dispersed into golden particles which scattered among an imagined breeze.

**South Hyrule Field**

"Well, shit. I wanted to go to Castle Town." Aaron remarked.

"Oh, well. Might as well go kill something, I guess." And so, Aaron had a fun time shooting down Kartarocs with a bow and arrows all made of light. Here are some of the phrases he shouted while doing said shooting:

"Die you little bitch!"

"Bite the dust, assholes!"

"Gimme some Kool-Aid, you orange-flavored mothafuckas!"

"FOR THE MOTHERLAND!"

"I love the smell of napalm in the morning!" (followed by the next statement)

"It smells like victory!"

"Even Justin Bieber could put up a better fight than you pussies!" (BTW, I got nothing against JB, even though his songs annoy me. I'm not trying to be mean to him, so lay off on the flaming, a'ight?)

Also, at one point, a Kartaroc nearly took his head off, so he shouted this,

"Hey, Beaky! Yeah, you! Your mother was a Deku Baba, and your father was a Stalfos!"

Suffice to say, Aaron had Kartaroc Teriyaki for dinner that night.

Hey, guys and gals. It's Jinso here. I'm typing this right now on the 7th of April at 2:45 PM, and you might be able to tell, and you might not, but...I'm a bit depressed today. There's a story behind the reason, and I'd like for you to just take a moment to read and know what's going on in my life.

I have a dog, and her name is Emma. She's seven years old, going on eight in August. I got her in 2004 from my neighbors, whose dog, Britney, my dog's mom, had 11 puppies. My dog was one of them, and she just looked so cute to us that we couldn't resist buying her from them. So when we got home, we named her Emma.

About a month ago, Britney (my dog's mom) was diagnosed with cancer. They said she had two months to live.

Today her owners, my two neighbors and their son, went to this Easter egg hunt in my neighborhood park, and when they got back, she wasn't moving. She was still alive, though, but one of her paws had gone completely limp. So they took her to the vet, and the vet said that this would happen with each of her paws, one by one, and then throughout her entire body until her heart shut down. So, to end her suffering, they put her down.

My dog had been acting a bit different today, and even whimpered when we mentioned her mother's name. I believe that she knows her mother is dead, and is wishing her a safe travel into heaven. I had to hold back a lot of tears when I received the news, and I still am right now. But I have a favor to ask. Anyone who reads this, PLEASE pray for her. I don't care if you're Hindu, Muslim, Christian, Atheist, or whatever, just please pray for her. Some people may say that animals do not have souls, but I believe they do, and Britney is going to heaven.

**R.I.P**

**Britney**

**(2000-2012)**

I'll see you all next time...

**~Jinso-kun**


	17. Soon

I'm going to try to keep my chapters upbeat, but it might be hard after what I talked about last chapter, so please don't hate me if this takes a bit of a dark turn.

**DISCLAIMER: ME SAD...ME NO OWN NARUTO...GO AWAY!**

COFB Chapter 17- Soon...

Fuck bitches!

*head swivels around to reveal a ghastly face*

NOT TAKE MIRROR!

Just as Aaron had finished killing all of the Kartarocs he could in Hyrule Field, the part near Kakariko Village, his long ears heard a cry of pain. Quickly running, he drew Shinriken and dashed off towards the sound.

**Area where the sound came from**

A young woman sat pressed against a mountainside as a horde of Bokoblins approached her, sick grins on their faces.

"Pl-Please don't hurt me!" She begged, tears in her eyes. The Bokoblins simply continued moving forward.

"Get away from her, you sick fucks!" A male voice then shouted from a bit away.

**BGM ACTIVATED: YOUSEI TEIKOKU- ONE** (Play it during this scene and it'll make it feel even more epic! (Also imagine Aaron running while the 10-second intro music plays))

The woman looked in joy to see a long eared man running towards them, sword in hand.

Aaron continued dashing towards the monsters. Quickly leaping, he rammed the sharp end of his blade in the monster's head, making its mud-brown blood spray everywhere. Pulling the sword out and somersaulting backwards, he held his sword at his side and stared down the mob of creatures. As if being filmed, the view was looked at from three angles: in front of Aaron, behind him, and from the ground. When the view was in front of Aaron, it began turning, and did the same from behind. They then charged. Aaron rolled backwards to avoid the strike of one's club, and then gave a side slash at its face, killing it.

He turned around and stabbed the blade through the chest of another. He then performed a spin attack, killing a large number of them. Twirling his blade, he stood in the middle of the ever-closing group of monsters. Aaron lashed out at two Bokoblins, bisecting each horizontally.

He ducked under the swipe of another, and cut off its head. A club hit him in the shoulder, cracking the bone there. He cried out, and leaped back to heal his shoulder quickly. Aaron spat out a glob of blood and bared a fang. Roaring, he charged back and kicked one square in the chest, crushing its heart. Pushing himself off of it with his foot, Aaron flipped right over the group and managed to slash a few through the head. Aaron stood with his head facing the ground, Shinriken at his side, and began glowing.

Channeling his own energy into the blade, Shinriken glowed gold. He let out a cry of power, making the glow even brighter. Aaron flew forward, golden streaks and churned earth trailing behind him. He burst through the group, killing a few more, their muddy blood spraying everywhere. He faced back and twirled his sword a second-to-last time. Only three were left. He finally jumped up and thrust his sword in the ground, making spires of rock grow from the ground and impale the remaining Bokoblins, killing the last of the group. Finally, spinning the blade for the last time, he stuck it in the ground.

**BGM DEACTIVATED**

Aaron then walked over to the young woman, and held his hand out. She grabbed it, and he pulled her off the ground. Aaron grabbed his sword, flung the blood off of it, and then sheathed Shinriken. Looking back at the woman, he realized who she was. It was Luda, Renado's daughter. (If you have not played Twilight Princess, then stop reading this story for right now, go out and buy yourself a copy, and beat the motherfucking game! If you have the game...FINISH THE DAMN THING ALREADY!) Luda tried to hug him, but passed out from the adrenaline rush. Aaron grabbed her and carried her into Kakariko Village bridal style.

**Kakariko Village**

"Hello? Is Renado here?" Said shaman emerged from the tent...house...thing. When he saw Luda in Aaron's arms, he gasped and ran over to them, taking Luda out of the elf's arms.

"Is she alright?" Aaron nodded.

"She was attacked by a crapload of Bokoblins. I don't see any injuries on her though. Good thing they can't find her now."

"You got her away from them?" Aaron shook his head no.

"I killed them all." He looked up towards the sun and stared.

"Those kinds of things don't deserve to live." Aaron commented.

"You might want to stop staring at the sun. It'll make you blind." Renado joked. Aaron laughed at that.

"If a man sees himself in the mirror, and thinks his image is suitable, why would he want to stop looking at himself?" He replied cryptically. Aaron then turned and bowed to Renado.

"I'll be on my way now. And I'll make sure to give Nayru my regards as to your wisdom, Shaman Renado." With that, Aaron dispersed into light particles which scattered in the wind. Renado stood there for a moment, wondering what Aaron had meant.

"_If a man sees himself in the mirror, and thinks his image suitable, why would he want to stop looking at himself?_" Aaron's voice resounded in his memory.

"_I'll be on my way now. And I'll make sure to give Nayru my regards as to your wisdom, Shaman Renado._" Aaron's voice then echoed at him. Renado looked up to the sun, only to see if shining somehow much brighter than before, and it was behind a group of clouds!

And that's when it hit him. Renado fell to his knees, still holding Luda, when a mark appeared on her forehead.

"We have been blessed by a god..." He whispered to no one. Barnes somehow had seen Renado fall to his knees, and came running up.

"Hey, Renado, you all right?" Renado gave a small smile.

"I have never been better."

**Castle Town, Near Telma's Bar**

Aaron reconstructed near Telma's Bar.

"Finally, I teleported someplace I wanted to go to!" He muttered. Again, a cry for help rang out in his long ears.

"Huh? I better go check that out." Jumping onto the rooftops, Aaron sped across the skyline towards the central square.

**Castle Town Square**

A large pack of Stalhounds and an army of Stalfos were terrorizing the people in the square.

"H-H-Help!" A woman cried out. Flipping over the rooftops, Aaron landed in the middle of the square, on top of the fountain. He drew his sword and held it by his side. A smirk adorning his face, Aaron jumped down in a four-spin somersault and landed on the ground, surrounded by the Stalfos and Stalhounds. People suddenly started watching on, murmuring.

"Is he insane?" some whispered. The Stalfos started drawing nearer, and Aaron charged light energy into his blade. Shinriken glowed gold, and Aaron began lashing out at the Stalfos. Seeing a threat to the town and the castle, Princess Zelda came rushing forward, ready to fight, but stopped seeing Aaron fighting the skeletal creatures. Aaron grinned knowing she was there, and slammed the point of his blade into the ground, charging a massive amount of energy beneath the earth. The ground underneath the Stalfos and Stalhounds erupted with golden fire, killing them all forever. Aaron twirled Shinriken and sheathed it on his back. He then turned to Princess Zelda, and bowed in respect.

"Thank you...for helping my people..." She replied. Aaron smiled.

"It was nothing." Closing his eyes, the mark of Illyon appeared underneath Aaron's feet and glowed three times before solidifying.

"If you are ever in need of assistance, call to the wind the sun's name, and I shall arrive..." Leaving that cryptic message in their minds, he dispersed into particles of light, and the sun shone brighter than usual, basking the area in warmth.

"The sun's name..." Zelda muttered. She turned to a guard.

"Bring a book on ancient lore."

"Yes, my lady!" The guard replied hastily, scrambling off.

**The City in the Sky**

Aaron reappeared in the home of the Oocca, and searched quickly for Rich's energy, because, quite frankly, the Oocca are creepy as FUCK. Finding it, he disappeared before any of said bird things could come up to him.

**Lake Hylia**

Aaron appeared right next to Rich, who was chatting with some girl.

" 'Sup Rich?" He said, startling the blonde.

"Dammit, Aaron! WARN ME when you're going to teleport right next to me!" Rich shouted.

**Hyrule Castle, Princess's Room**

Zelda was looking through a book of ancient deities.

God of the rain, of destruction, goddess of fire, of water, of the sky, god of the sun...Wait, god of the sun?" Zelda immediately began reading that section.

"_The god of the sun is the most ancient deity in history. It is said that he created the sun, the stars, and the entire universe, as well as other universes. His first child with the goddess of the sky, Ischeranka, was Ril, the goddess of time, from whom minutes, hours, seconds, days, and years all began flowing. The sun god was first born when the positive energies of the universe coalesced and formed a spiritual body. Until the time when the elves first existed, he had no name. _

_But his people, the elves, gave him the name Illyon, or, 'creator'. Around 3,000 B.C, Illyon had to separate his soul into two bodies, a physical form, and a heavenly form. The earthly form was created to govern the lands below his original kingdom, while the heavenly body was kept to rule the land of the gods. The physical form eventually sacrificed its own life to save the lands it governed from an evil usurper. And because his two spirits were connected, one could not live without the other. And thus, it was the fall of Illyon. _

_However, at an unaccounted point in time, Illyon was reincarnated in the form of a young elf. After twenty one years of human life, the newly living Illyon gained his powers once more and fought the god of the moon, Tsukiotoko, who had been corrupted by a dark power._"

Zelda stopped reading there. A god, corrupted? She looked back at the book.

"_Sometimes, people or things are blessed by Illyon, and places that are blessed are considered holy. When blessed, Illyon will have appeared at the place, and his mark will be adorning the ground where he stood. This is an example of the mark of Illyon._"

Next to it was a picture of the Illyon's symbol, which Zelda had seen underneath Aaron's feet.

'_That...then that means..._' Zelda thought as her eyes became wide with that revelation.

**Back at Lake Hylia**

Aaron grinned.

"Hey, if you know me, and bitch, I know you do, I LOVE freaking people out. So, SORRY if you forgot my number three hobby." Rich raised an eyebrow.

"Three? What are one and two?"

"In order from 1-2, sex and collecting swords." Aaron put a hand under his chin.

"Now that I think about it, that could—in some completely random and thought-up manner—be used as an innuendo." Rich turned back to the girl as Aaron continued his insane, philosophical mumblings, only to find that she was gone.

"NOOO!" He cried to the heavens, falling to his knees. Aaron chuckled sheepishly and rubbed the back of his head. The blonde stood up and glared at Aaron.

"Sorry, dude. I didn't mean to scare off that girl by teleporting." The elf replied. Then suddenly, a bright light began shining in front of them. Aaron began walking forward towards it, and Rich followed quickly after before the light vanished.

**Inside the Light**

Before them stood a kneeling angel. Her long fiery hair fell down to the top of her ankles, and two snow-white wings draper from her shoulder blades. She was wearing somewhat modest clothing, her breasts, stomach, and lower region were all covered by cloth and metal armor. A halo shone bright above her orange hair.

"Illyon-sama." The angel said. Aaron gave her the motion to rise, and her somewhat robotic personality did a 180.

"Hello, Illyon-sama! Who is your friend? Is he another lord?" The angel asked.

"No, Ranea, he is not another lord. But onto other matters, why have you asked for me?"

"Well, Illyon-sama, I received word that that vile creature Renda intends to march sooner than planned. He is heading towards Ra'drith instead of earth, and he is doing it right now!" Aaron's eyes widened.

"What! Ranea, gather the angels...especially Pit. It's time to go to war!" Ranea gave a salute.

"Hai!"

That is Chapter 17! And yes, I'm introducing Pit from the Kid Icarus video game series, who is also a playable character in Super Smash Bros Brawl, into the story! Join us next time and see the shinobi forces, the angels, and Aaron face off against the forces of darkness!

Ja Ne!

**~Jinso-kun**


	18. Rally the Forces

**Disclaimer: Bitch, I don't own Naruto, and I ain't in the fuckin' mood!**

I'M SKIPPING STRAIGHT TO IT, MOTHAFUCKAS!

COFB Chapter 18- Rally the Forces

As Aaron and Rich left from the flash of light, Ranea left to go prepare the angels.

**Angel's Barracks**

Many of the angels were lounging around, chatting and junk, when a klaxon went off and Ranea's voice sounded from the loudspeakers.

"**Angels, Renda is heading to Ra'drith! Prepare for war immediately!**" She announced. Everyone immediately started scrambling out of the rooms.

"Finally, some action!" Pit cried out, gathering his bow. He joined the thousands of holy warriors and descended down to Ra'drith.

**Lake Hylia**

"Rich, you better prepare yourself in the next five seconds or else you might be shit out of luck when facing Renda." Rich gawked, but tried to gather weapons.

"I'm kidding. I'm gonna summon everyone here, give them all and you new weapons, and then we'll go kick ass." Rich nodded bitterly. That was pretty mean. Aaron clapped his hands together and all the shinobi appeared together with new weapons. Rich had changed as well.

"Everyone, look, we're about to go to war. I know this is unexpected, but we have to make the best of it. Ok? Now let's get a move on." With that short speech, he warped them all to Ra'drith to join the angels.

**Angel Base Camp, Ra'drith**

Aaron and the group reappeared via a VERY bright light. While everyone else tumbled to the ground, Aaron was standing on two feet, with his arms folded. Blinking owlishly and looking back, he started laughing uncontrollably. After about half a minute, he got back up and wiped a tear from his eye.

"Seriously, you guys can't even stick a five-foot landing, and yet, you're ninja? That's fucked up." After everyone got off the ground, grumbling and muttering, Aaron addressed all of the angels.

"Okay, everyone. I know this is a bit stressful. We've suddenly had to go to war with quite a bit of surprise. But I want you to know this. Even if Renda seems to push us into a corner, we can still fight back. I want all of you to do your best. If worse comes to worse, I've got a last resort, and an even bigger last resort. Now, let's go kick some ASS!" Aaron shouted, getting a roar back from the crowd of angels and shinobi.

"Warriors of the light, ATTACK!" The elf shouted, holding Shinriken high in the air right as dark forces approached.

**BGM ACTIVATED: PERFECT CELL'S THEME**

The angels took to the skies and the shinobi began running through the treetops. Aaron held Shinriken at his side and dashed along the ground through a massive forest.

The first enemy he came upon was an elemental, which he disposed of with ease by slashing the yellow gem on its forehead. Next, he met a massive group of goblins, elementals, and three Tazhu. Smirking, Aaron took his blade and jumped into the fray, hacking and slashing at the creatures. He took out fifteen elementals with a spin attack. Then Aaron dispatched the goblins by blasting the lot of them with light. Finally, he created a tornado which sucked up the Tazhu and ripped the flesh from their bones. Unfortunately, an elemental managed to sneak up behind him, and prepared to literally backstab Aaron. Turning around, Aaron saw a blue arrow of energy crash into the elemental's gem, destroying it. The elf looked up to see Pit in the skies above him.

"Hey, Pit!" He shouted. Pit saluted and flew down.

"Do you require anything, Illyon-sama?" The angel asked.

"I need you to see if you can get my kids back here." Pit nodded and took to the air. He began traveling around the battlefield, and picked up each of Aaron's kids by their shirt collars.

"Hey!" Te-ru yelled, trying to kick Pit.

"Your dad told me to do this, I didn't decide to." Pit muttered. After dropping them off in front of said pro, Pit zoomed back to the fight.

"Dad, what'd you call us for? I was kicking ass!" Te-ru shouted, earning him a slap to the back of his head from Kinu.

"Stop cussing!" She nagged. Aaron put a hand on her shoulder, getting his only daughter to stop.

"Kids, listen up. I need you all to get your swords out. We're about to stop the fighting for today." They all nodded and drew said blades.

"Now each of you, stand in a square formation around me and push your swords into the ground." They nodded, formed the group, and plunged their ancient blades deep into the earth. Bright glyphs and patterns appeared beneath their feet in circles. Under Te-ru, there was a green circle and symbols. Under Kagi, a sky blue one, Kinu, a silver one, and Kuro, a black one. Aaron snapped his fingers and all of the fighters appeared back in the random clearing they were in. He then stabbed Shinriken into the ground, creating a his own golden circle and massive dome of light that surrounded them by 26 miles in each direction. Any darkness creatures caught at the boundaries were instantly vaporized. The group stood and looked at him, wanting an explanation.

"I didn't want us to lose anyone just yet, so I set up a temporary sanctuary for us to live in for the next few days. We need to restock, repair, and relax. I've already set up multiple camps for us to use, so just take your time and sit back." Everyone nodded, and went off. Aaron made three pillars rise from the ground. The columns had symbols on them as well, which glowed and created an electric barrier around the swords.

"As long as those swords stay there, the barrier will remain. Now, let's go, kids." The four nodded and walked back to the camp with Aaron.

**Later That Night**

Aaron laid back against a small boulder, looking up into the stars.

"Is something the matter, Illyon-sama?" An angel's voice asked. Aaron turned his head to see a female angel walking towards him. She had long blue hair with purple highlights in it that went down to her knees, pupil-less green eyes, long elf ears, DD bust, and she was wearing a halter top, a pair of denim jeans, and shoulder-less sleeves like Hatsune Miku. But she somehow had no wings.

"Nothing, Kikyo. I was just watching 'my children', so to speak, and thinking of the many ways I made love to my first wife." This made Kikyo blush.

"How so?" Aaron held up his hand and began counting.

"BDSM, in the bathtub, against the wall, on the floor, in a chair, on the roof, roleplaying such as the servant and the master, the porno model and the cameraman, the interrogator and the prisoner, the schoolgirl and the teacher, the personal trainer and the female athlete, the sex demon and the naughty priestess, the chef and the waitress, the female thief and the police officer, the Hokage and the loyal ANBU, furry, tentacles, Kage Bunshin gangbang, hypnosis, genjutsu, the list goes on..." Unseen—but known—to him, Kakashi was listening in, and was blown back by a geyser of a nosebleed that knocked his mask off.

"Oh, and Kakashi, if you ever listen in on a conversation like this again, I will cut off your nuts, nail them back on, roast them with a fireball, glue the ashes back together, shove them down your throat, pull them out your ass, shove them down your throat again, and stick my foot up your ass so far I'll kick your balls out your throat, wear you like a shoe, and walk around this planet, trying to find something to counterbalance with." The elf then said nonchalantly. Kakashi's face paled to the color of nothing, then he fainted, and Kikyo, who had fainted with a blush and wet thighs, woke up from the mere terror of the sentence.

"Now, Kikyo, would you like to meet one of my favorite people?"

"Sure, Illyon-sama!" Kikyo chirped, acting oblivious to what had previously happened, but kept rubbing her thighs together. Aaron led her to Naruto's tent.

Inside, Hinata was clinging to the blonde, who was smiling happily in his dreams. Kikyo looked surprised at the position they were in. He put a finger to his lips, telling her to be quiet.

"His name is Naruto. The reason he's one of my favorite people is because despite all that he's gone through in his life, he fought back better and more each time he got—metaphorically speaking—shoved down. Let's just take a look at his memories."Aaron took Kikyo's hand, and accessed Naruto's mind. There, she saw all of his memories, the good, the bad, and the ugly. When they exited, the angel burst into tears and hugged the Uzumaki into her bosom, making him wake up.

Seeing his strange position, Naruto looked to Aaron for help. Said elf then mouthed the words "Just go with it." Having read Aaron's lips, Naruto's eyes softened. After a few minutes Kikyo calmed down. Aaron pinched a nerve on the back of her neck, making her fall asleep. Kikyo then snuggled closer to the blonde holding her, and Naruto went back to sleep, still holding Kikyo and Hinata.

As Aaron walked out and sat back down at his boulder again, after hearing Kakashi mutter, "Lucky bastard..." He then thought of a certain prophecy that he had heard when Renda first rebelled.

'_The children of the blades shall heed the call,_

_To charge into battle and fight for all_

_Against the darkness which consumes everything._

_With their father, the sun, by their side,_

_The children shall battle with all of their might._

_The universe will be at peril;_

_No outcome definite,_

_So a question remains:_

_Will they save the universe?_

_Or with them shall everything fall?_'

That was the prophecy told of his children. Sure, the elf's thoughts may have been a bit random right then, but hey, he was a god! You fuck with him, and your ass gets kicked so hard it would make a Jehovah's Witness start celebrating Christmas! A short while after, Anko and Aaron's other wives came out from their tent, worried about him.

"Are you ok? You've been out here all night, and haven't gone to sleep once." Konan asked. Aaron nodded.

"I'm doing fine. I was just enjoying the beautiful night around us. But it pales in comparison to you, my loves." The four of them blushed.

"You're such a flirt." Anko retorted.

"Maybe, but it works, doesn't it?" Aaron laid his head back with a smirk right before he frowned. His long ears twitched once, and he got up.

"'Scuse me for a moment." Aaron then sped straight to the edge of the barrier, where a massive goblin stood, wielding a spiked club.

"*sigh* You fuckers never learn, do you?" Aaron warped outside the barrier, and conked the goblin unconscious. He teleported back inside, and dragged the goblin past his wives and into a specially made interrogation tent. After two seconds, screams could be heard waking everyone up.

**Inside the tent**

"Are you a masochist? 'Cuz I _seriously_ think you're enjoying all this pain. The goblin had seven super-heated senbon sticking out of its joints, and it was missing three fingers.

"**Go fuck yourself!**" The goblin shouted in a raspy voice. Aaron grinned. His sadistic persona was appearing again.

"I'm sorry, but I don't give a damn what you say, and logic dictates that you should be punished for cursing at a god." Taking a rusty kunai out of a bag, he jabbed it into the goblin's left eye socket, and carved a hole, pulling the bloody eyeball out. The imp gave a blood-curdling scream of terror and pain, which made several people at the camp go green in the face. Aaron then held the eyeball in his palm, and crushed it, making a _splat_ noise.

"Now, I'm gonna ask you again; what are Renda's attack plans?"

"**Go choke on a dildo, you limp-dicked, motherfucking, piss-drinking faggot!**" The goblin retorted once more. Aaron's grin grew even fiercer. He took another rusty kunai, and stuck it straight in the middle of the creature's right hand. Another horrible scream was released from its mouth.

"Tell me what his plans are."

"**Ok, ok!**" The imp shouted, finally snapping.

"**He plans to attack right at dawn in two days, when your barrier falls! He'll be leading the army himself, and will mostly likely have them branch off and attack from all around! I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING MORE THAN THAT!**" The creature shrieked.

"Are you sure?" Aaron asked, taking the kunai he used to cut out its eye, and castrating the thing, making it release one final shriek of terror.

"**HE'S GOING TO SUPERPOWER HIS TROOPS SO THAT IT'S HARDER FOR YOURS TO RESI-HI-HIST!**" It yelled. Aaron finally took out a gun and shot the thing right between the eyes. The elf then walked out, earning many stares from the group.

"Ask me in the morning. I'm too fucking tired right now." With that, he went into his own tent, and changed into a pair of boxers and wrapped bandages around his chest and stomach. Why? Because those were some DAMN comfortable bandages, that's why! Then he went to sleep. But right before that, he said,

"Fuck, this is annoying..."

**The Next Morning**

Aaron woke up to about 20 people in his tent, staring at him.

"HOLY SHIT!" The elf cried out, scrambling to the back of his living room-sized tent.

"What are you all doing in here?" The nearest to him among the group was Kikyo.

"We just wanted to know what that whole thing last night was about, Illyon-sama." The wingless angel chirped.

"Oh." Aaron said, a sweatdrop forming on the back of his head. Quickly, he explained the situation with the goblin to them. Some of them turned a little green in the face. Aaron then shooed them all out and got dressed in his combat outfit. He strapped Shinriken on his back, and headed out of the tent. Aaron's outfit consisted of an open red jacket with no shirt or anything underneath, leaving him bare-chested, a pair of tan cargo pants, and fingerless brown gloves (Dante's outfit in the Devil May Cry series). Shinriken was strapped to his back, and he had two handguns in holsters at his side.

**CRASH!**

**BOOM!**

A bolt of lightning descended to the ground, and out of it came a humanoid creature. It had four arms, a pair of angel wings, slit-pupiled eyes, and was wearing a white tunic. The rest of it looked like a human.

"Aaron-san, I come bearing news from Jinso-sama." Aaron stepped forward.

"What kind of creature are you?"

"I am known as a Ghiremaga. We are the messengers and servants of Jinso-sama."

"Oh."

"Jinso-sama wishes to tell you that he will do his best to join you in time for the final battle against Renda. However, if he cannot arrive in time, stall the darkness god until he can get here. Jinso-sama will then take it from there."

"Thank you for telling me. You may go now." The Ghiremaga nodded, and transported away via a bolt of lightning. Aaron clapped his hands together and turned to the group.

"Ok, everyone, listen up! We're about to march straight into battle! Now I warn you, some of you will probably not come out of this alive. I just want to say that, my condolences are with you all, and your families, should any of you die. If you do die, I will see to it that you arrive in heaven safe and sound, for dying the honorable way. But coming away from those thoughts, we must prepare. Grab your greatest weapons and armor, and we will head out. Now MOVE!" Everyone then scrambled around, gathering what they needed. Once ready, Aaron led them towards what was called Mizubi's Pass. When asked, Aaron explained why it was called that.

"A long time ago, there was once a mighty war raged here. Hundreds upon thousands died at this very pass. The battle here lasted for only three days, but it was the bloodiest that I had ever seen. The reason the battle lasted for only three days was because Mizubi, the goddess of the sea, wept heavily at the bloodshed. She downright hated unnecessary blood-spilling. So her tears fell upon this pass and washed away all the soldiers who were fighting. And thus, it was named Mizubi's Pass." Many nodded their heads in sympathy. War was a cruel, cruel bastard.

Just then, Renda's army came up on the opposing hill. Aaron narrowed his eyes.

"Attack!" Renda's voice cried out.

The group of darkness creatures began charging Aaron's group.

"Kame Formation, hajime!" He barked. The group formed into a circular shape, and everyone made energy shields and swords.

"Defend!" The group members raised their shields, and held the swords at their sides.

"Angels, Tori Formation, hajime!" The angels in the sky formed a triangular shape, and ready their bows.

"Angels, FIRE!" A hail of blue energy arrows rained upon the massive amount of dark creatures. Off to the side, Aaron heard more war cries, and saw a small army of armored skeletons running at him.

"Fuck," Aaron swore under his breath.

"Pit, you're in charge until I get back! Hold the line!" The elf yelled. Pit nodded.

"Angels, hold formation!" With that, Aaron went off to face the skeletal warriors.

**Aaron's Fight**

When he got over there, the skeletons had surrounded him.

"I think you guys need some protein in your diets. You're lookin' a little thin." Aaron joked. The skeletons' jaws all started rattling in anger.

"Now, then..." Aaron pulled his two pistols out. One of the pistols was a snow white, with the symbol for alpha on it, and it had a golden sun design. The other was a space black, with the symbol for omega on it, and it had a silver moon design.

"Say hello to your new dance partners, Alpha and Omega, this fight's beginning and your end."

**Jinso: So that was this chapter!**

**Aaron: Pretty damn good if I say so myself.**

**Inner Jinso: I completely agree.**

**Aaron: So what will happen next time?**

**Jinso: That would be telling, and I don't type and tell.**

**Aaron: O-kay, then. So what are we going to do while we wait?**

**Jinso: Well, we could go to my own private Hooters.**

**Aaron: *eyes bulge* You OWN a Hooters?**

**Jinso: Maybe. *grins evilly***

**Aaron: I would love to, but my four wives would kill me for it. Don't try to corrupt me, man.**

**Anko: Damn straight we would. Now what's this about trying to corrupt our husband.**

**Jinso: Don't even think about trying to hurt me. I could make your worst nightmares come to life.**

**Aaruka: Too late.**

***All four of them begin marching towards Jinso***

**Jinso: Author Kami Release: Saimin no Jutsu!**

***Rings of energy float towards the four women, and their eyes glaze over***

**Jinso: Thank god I learned that. *Sees Aaron waving his hand in front of their faces***

**Aaron: Did you just hypnotize them?**

**Jinso: Yes, yes I did. Now watch carefully. *turns to the women* You will not remember any attempts of Master Jinso's to corrupt Aaron.**

**All Four: We will not remember any attempts of Master Jinso's to corrupt Aaro-kun.**

**Jinso: You will also give Master Jinso and Aaron a free striptease. *gets smacked on head by Aaron***

**Aaron: Don't even think about it.**

**Jinso: Think about the possibilities for a second. You're getting a free striptease, from four different women at the same time! Are you gay?**

**Aaron: If I was gay, why would I have had children with them?**

**Jinso: Exactly. Now just let me work my magic. *turns back to women* When I snap my fingers, you will give Master Jinso and Aaron a free striptease, thinking it is completely normal. You will also play with each other, thinking that that too is completely normal. If you understand, say "Yes Master Jinso" in your sexiest voices.**

**All Four: *in their sexiest voices* Yes Master Jinso.**

**Jinso: *snaps fingers* Wake up. *turns to audience* Nothing to see here folks! *shuts door on viewers***

***Door opens a second later***

**Aaron: Read and review! *shuts door again***

***Giggles and moans are heard from inside the room***

**A/N TIME!**

**Yes, this ending scene was a perverted one, but shouldn't every guy get to live out his fantasy at least once?**

**So I ask you this:**

**Problem? *trollface***

**See you next time!**

**~Jinso-kun**


	19. Special Chapter

**DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN NARUTO. 'NUFF SAID.**

In a large room with maroon and gold walls, a young man was lying down on a tan leather sofa with his eyes closed. The young man had chocolate brown hair, and when he opened one of his eyes to look at you, you could tell his eye color was blue-green. He sat up straight on the sofa and looked directly at the screen.

"Hey, everyone. Welcome to my humble abode, which I have proudly named **B**.**O**.**B**, or, 'Best Operations Base'. Sorry for not having this chapter continue the COFB storyline, but I thought we could take a little break." He gave a small smirk.

"If you don't know who I am, riddle me this: Who the hell created this story, its prequel, and is the only person on Fanfiction with 'Jinso' in his name? That's me, Jinsokuna wa mada yasashii, which is not my real name, but I just go by Jinso, Jinso-kun, or Jinsokuna." Jinso gave a little chuckle.

"You may have seen that I did not place the title of this chapter in the Author's Note this time. Well, that's because I wanted to personally announce that this is not a storyline chapter!" He flashed a toothy, and fanged, grin.

"This is a BLOOPERS AND EXTRAS chapter! But mostly bloopers!" Jinso leaned over and picked up a high tech remote.

"We're—sorry—_you're_ going to watch some bloopers and extras from COFB, and ATBOA!" He aimed the remote at a plasma screen TV, and hit the power button. The TV turned on, but showed an error screen.

"What the fu—No disk inserted?" Jinso got up, and walked over to the DVD player. He pressed the eject button, and the slide came out. But there was no disk in it.

"Dammit! Hang on a minute, folks. I gotta get the bloopers DVD." Jinso then walked over to a small treasure chest and leaned into it. After throwing out a few things, including, but not limited to, a broadsword, a Wii game case for The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess, and a baseball cap with a picture of a middle finger on it, he grabbed two things and closed the trunk. In his hands, he held a can of Pepsi, and a golden DVD inside a case. He raised an eyebrow.

"What? I like Pepsi, okay? It's good..." Jinso walked back over to his DVD player and popped the DVD in. Then he went into another room. As the DVD started, a soda can was heard opening, a sword was heard clanging, and Jinso's voice shouted,

"Die, you little winged bitch!" The sound of a Kargarok dying was then heard.

**SOLARUS Strike Force, Green Light! Scene 1, Take 1**

"Creatures of darkness, you are in unauthorized territory. Leave now, or face the consequences!" Everyone was silent, even the man. Then, he said,

"Enemy will not..." Aaron rubbed the back of his head sheepishly.

"Sorry, what's my line again?"

_STATIC_

**Extra #1: May's Plushy**

"Oh, shit, oh, shit! We're gonna die, man!" Rich shouted. In his hands, there was a rabbit plushy that had been torn in half.

"We? What'dya mean WE? YOU'RE gonna die for breaking May's plushy!" Aaron shouted back.

"We gotta hide it!" Rich said.

"How? She has the motherfucking BYAKUGAN, dude!" Aaron yelled.

"Goddammit!"

"Wait, I got it! There's only ONE place a Byakugan user would never look...UNDER THE FLOOR!"

_STATIC_

**Extra #2: Neji Gets His Spearow**

"A _Spearow_? What's a _Spearow_?" He tossed the pokéball and let out his Spearow. When everyone else saw it, they started laughing. Neji's face turned red, three veins bulged on his head, and steam burst from his ears.

"This is NOT funny!" Neji shouted. There, on the ground, was a Spearow.

...

It was inside a cage.

_STATIC_

**The Final Attack, Scene 19, Take 1**

"CRYPTUS!" Aaron shouted.

"YOUR TIME HAS COME!"

"**OH REALLY? MY TIME HAS COME? TELL ME, WHAT**_**IS**_**MY TIME?**" Aaron grinned.

"The dawn of a new—okay, wait, BACK THE FUCK UP!" He then shouted.

"Who the hell says '_The dawn of a new day_' when they're launching a final attack!" Aaron ranted and mocked.

"I mean, COME ON! MAKE IT SOMETHING WITTY AND ORIGINAL, FOR THE LOVE OF—" Aaron was then promptly shot in the face.

"Don't worry," Jinso said, holding a smoking Glock 19.

"That guy was just a stunt double/fill-in for the day. He's collateral damage; no biggie." Aaron then appeared, walking out of a trailer behind them. He looked down and saw his fill-in.

"Alright, what the hell happened to my fill-in?" He questioned. Everyone pointed to Jinso. Jinso shrugged.

"He mocked the lines that YOU typed." Aaron then had a vein grow on his forehead. He walked over to the corpse and repeatedly kicked in it in groin.

"Uh, Aaron, you realize he's dead right?" Rich asked.

***squish***

"...Guess not..."

_STATIC_

**Extra #3: Nerd Rage**

**I do not own the song Nerd Rage. Yourfavoritemartian, A.K.A. Raywilliamjohnson of YouTube does! He is a funny dude, check out his videos, and I in no way intend to copy and/or steal his work! You rock, RWJ!**

"I got that Nerd Rage...Nerd Rage..." Rich's voice was heard singing. Someone was filming something with a video camera.

"I got that Nerd Rage...na-na-na na na...Nerd Rage...Nerd Rage...*starts singing in a techno voice*...Nerd Rage..." The person filming started walking closer to Rich's bathroom.

"They say I Nerd Rage...I say they don't understand...Keep talkin' trash bitch, I'mma have to ban...you from my chatroom...And I can hardly think, but I'mma have to slap Jar Jar Binks..." The person was now inside Rich's bathroom, right in front of the shower, filming Rich's silhouette singing in the shower.

"And slam George Lucas's head in a car door...for far more than just ruining Star Wars...Stop remastering, you're makin' it worse...And for the love of God, Greedo didn't shoot first!" The person filming started snickering.

"And fuck Comic Sans, and fuck low bandwith, and never say Pluto ain't a planet, goddammit! I'm readin' what you're sayin' on the message boards. Yes, I have too had sex before!" The snickering started turning into giggling.

"With a girl, you don't know her, she moved away! Shut up! And don't tell me Doctor Who is the same! Without Tom Baker, the shit is just lame! And whatd'ya mean you've never seen Citizen Ka—Holy shit! Aaron, what the fuck are you doing!" Rich shouted as he pulled the shower curtain to cover his unmentionables. Aaron simply ran away laughing.

"I'M GONNA GET YOU FOR THAT, YOU LITTLE BITCH!"

_STATIC_

**Helping Santa, Take 2**

"BLBLBLBLBLBLBLBLBLBLBLBLB!"

"...BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! What the fuck was _that_!"

_STATIC_

**Special Bonus Clip: Aaron vs Three Iwa Missing-nin**

**(BTW, the techniques he uses in here are some of his actual moves)**

"Tsk, tsk, tsk...you guys really want to fight?" Aaron asked them. They were all standing in the middle of a massive grassy field.

"Getting' cocky, heh? We're gonna lop off your head and bring it to the Tsuchikage! Maybe we'll even be allowed to rejoin, _and_ get promoted!" Aaron sighed.

"Well, let's get this over with." He simply held his hand out, facing it towards the three nuke-nin.

"**Keiton: Bimu** (Light Release: Beam)." A massive light blast shot from his hand and at the shinobi, who jumped to avoid it.

"**Arcana Swipe.**" He jumped in the air and swept his hand diagonally, making a blade of light that shot at them and cleaved their heads off. Aaron sighed.

"Noobs..." He then picked up the heads and burned the bodies.

"**Arcana One-Liner.**" Aaron then took out a pair of sunglasses as he said,

"Looks like I kicked their asses..." He then put the sunglasses on.

"Feudal style."

_!_

_STATIC_

**Getting Revenge on Purlo, Take 1**

Aaron and Link walked into the STAR game tent, frightening the piss out of Purlo.

"Oh no...not you..." The conman whispered. Aaron just stared for a moment before bursting into laughter.

"BWAHAHAHAHAHA!" He wiped a tear from his eye.

"I'm sorry...eheheh...but this guy's such a pussy...eheheheheheheheh!"

_STATIC_

**Extra #4: LoZ Animal Video**

Link was filming a Cuccoo and a cat with a video camera. Aaron snapped his fingers, and the animals could talk.

"I'm a cock." The Cuccoo said.

"And I'm a pussy." The cat added on. Then both of their heads grew large as they shouted,

"NO!" Link then fell on the ground, laughing his ass off.

"This is SO going on Youtube!" Aaron said.

"Goddammit, you motherf**king, s**tfaced, c**ksucking, dumba**!" The Cuccoo screamed at them. Aaron and Link both stopped what they were doing and stared awkwardly. Aaron then turned to Link.

"Are you still filming this?" Link nodded. Aaron snapped his fingers and said,

"Turn off the camera." Link did so, ending the recording.

"I'M ABOUT TO MAKE ME SOME FRIED CHICKEN FOR LUNCH!"

_STATIC_

*credits start playing*

Jinso then walked back in and looked at the TV.

"Ah, well, I guess that it's. See you all next time!" Jinso then pulled out a smoke bomb.

"SHEIK-STYLE VANISH!" He smashed the smoke bomb on the ground and vanished.

**Jinso: Well, that was Chapter 19!**

**Aaron: Damn, man. You renewed my faith with that Saimin no Jutsu!**

**Jinso: Thank me all you want. I made it up as a special version. Only I can teach it to whoever I want, and if they want to teach it to someone, only I can let them. Plus, the people who get hypnotized do listen to those who hypnotized them, but whenever I command them to do something, they will ignore the orders of their master/mistress.**

**Inner Aaron: Damn.**

**Jinso: Well, we haven't seen you in a long time.**

**Inner Aaron: Don't get me started. It took me FOURTEEN years to recover from all the mental scarring I saw in this douche's *jabs thumb behind him at Aaron* younger years. And the only reason I hadn't seen it until then was because I didn't awaken until he went through that crazy-ass wormhole.**

**Jinso: Well, putting that aside, who wants to go to my Karaoke Bar?**

**Aaron, Rich, May, All of the Akatsuki, Kushina, Minato, Naruto, Inner Aaron, Inner Jinso, Naruko, Kyuubi, Akahana, Konan, Anko, Aaruka, Kikyo, Hinata, Sasuke, Shino, Kiba, Lee, Tenten, Neji, Kakashi, Kurenai, Asuma, Tsunade, Jiraiya, Gai (I put a Youth Filter™ on him, so no 'Youthful' Ranting until I take it off (I'm so tempted to leave it on forever)), Gaara, Temari, Kankuro, Kikyo, Hansuke, Mikoto, Itachi, and Brackxious: You own a karaoke bar?**

**Jinso: I also own a Hooters, an Exon, a Dairy Queen, a nightclub, a P.F. Chang's, a mansion, and a Shelby GT 500. Best car ever!**

***All the aforementioned peoples' jaws drop***

**Kakashi and Jiraiya: *both start bowing on the ground* We have seen the one true god, and he is good. We have seen the one true god, and he is good. *continue chanting***

**Jinso: You're damn straight I'm good. But why are you calling me the one true god? Not that it's not true or anything.**

**Jiraiya: You own...A HOOTERS!**

**Jinso: *facepalms* Stupid perv. But anyways, who wants to go to my karaoke bar?**

***everyone raises their hand***

**Jinso: Then let's go!**

***At the Karaoke Club***

**Naruto: The Chocolate Dragon? Sounds weird.**

**Jinso: *smirks* You won't be saying that once you get inside. *knocks on door***

***a slot on the door opens to reveal a pair of sunglasses on a black man's head***

**Bouncer: Who wants to get in?**

**Jinso: Ain't no party like a Jinso party, 'cuz a Jinso party has dragons.**

***the eyes behind the pair of sunglasses widen and the door is opened, revealing a bulky black man in a grey business suit, with a Bluetooth device on his right ear***

**Bouncer: Jinso-sama, good to see you! Are these your friends?**

**Jinso: Yes, they are, Big Joe. These people all get the V.I.P treatment.**

**Big Joe: Yes sir, Jinso-sama. Come right in folks!**

***everyone walks inside and is amazed by what they see***

***The entire club is huge, with a bunch of spotlights, a massive dance floor, a high-tech DJ booth, a teleprompter, the latest surround sound, a buffet, a pocky stand, a chocolate fountain made in the shape of a dragon's head, a snack bar, artistic tables, a café, three coffee machines, a merchandise shop that included but was not limited to custom shuriken that were shaped like dragon heads with blades coming out of the mouths, life-size kid-friendly versions of Jinso's golden katana, keychain versions of Jinso's custom laptop, which had military-grade hacking software (the keychain models didn't actually work), and cosplay versions of Jinso's custom outfit, a movie screen, two concessions stands, and a working projector that made a hologram of Hatsune Miku, which sang Hatsune Miku songs that were chosen by the club visitors***

**Everyone besides Jinso (Yes, even Hinata and Shino): Daaaaaaaaaaaamn...**

**Jinso: That's right! Now let's get to partyin'! Aaron, follow me to the Pocky Stand!**

**Aaron: HELL YEAH!**

**Big Joe: Before we head off, I have two messages from Jinso-sama. One, if anyone wishes to party here at the Chocolate Dragon or with the one and only Jinso-sama, please PM him, and save your reviews for the storyline! And two, Jinso-sama will be taking a little break from the story so he can get his final school projects done. No, this is not hiatus, so don't worry! Expect the next chapter probably sometime next week! Good night!**


	20. Small armies random challenges and TDI!

**Jinso: Hello, everyone, and welcome to another chapter of The Children of the Four Blades!**

**Aaron: It's the story where I kick ass, take names, and Jinso uses all flames to cook his ramen and bake his pocky!**

**Jinso: Damn straight, I do! *high fives Aaron* Buuuuuuuut, anyways, let me just say that now I will be opening and ending each chapter with a scene like you read at the ends of chapters eighteen and nineteen!**

**Aaron: So let's get to it!**

**SCENE GUIDE:**

'_**blarghablarghablargh**_**' = **_**thoughts**_

***...* = events that are happening**

**(Example) Jinso: I like pie, bitches! = speech**

_STATIC_

***inside the Chocolate Dragon***

**Aaron: OH MY BURRITO-FUCKING GOD, THIS IS THE BEST POCKY I'VE EVER TASTED! *is shoveling sticks of pocky in his face hole***

**Jinso: *raises his right eyebrow* **_**Burrito-fucking**_**?**

**Aaron: I say weird shit when I'm pockyhigh.**

**Jinso: Oh. Okay then. *turns to Itachi* Itachi, you likin' the pocky?**

**Itachi: *is busy shoveling pocky into his mouth like Aaron* Erhmmph!**

**Jinso: I'll take that as a yes.**

***over at the Hatsune Miku Projection-a-tron***

**Naruto: What's this thing supposed to do? *pushes a small green button***

***a hologram of Hatsune Miku pops up***

**Hologram: **_**Konnichiwa. My name is Hatsune Miku. What song would you like for me to sing?**_

**Naruto: Song? *sees touch screen moniter with list of songs on it* Hmm...*presses **_**World is Mine**_*****

**Hologram: **_**You have chosen: World is Mine. Please sit back and enjoy the song.**_

**Naruto: Okay, then.**

***at the Café***

**Hinata: Excuse me, but do you have any cinnamon buns?**

**Register Dude: Aren't you a little bit young to be at a club?**

**Hinata: I'm here with Jinso-san.**

**RD: Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't realize that. Well, we have many cinnamon buns in stock. *whispers* Between you and me, Jinso-sama is obsessed with five certain foods; Pocky, Ribs, Pizza, Cinnamon Buns, and Ramen. It's a bit weird...**

**Jinso: *yells from all the way across that club* I HEARD THAT!**

**RD: Sorry, Jinso-sama! I'll have your cinnamon buns out right away, ms...**

**Hinata: My name is Hinata.**

**RD: I'll have them out right away, Hinata-sama.**

***Over near the Pocky Stand***

**Kisame: Hey, Jinso, are there any aquatic things here?**

**Jinso: I've got an aquarium over there. *points in random direction***

**Kisame: Alright! *speeds off***

***at the merchandise shop***

***Dei-san is looking at a stand full of Cryo-Frag Grenades™***

**Deidara: Such beautiful tools of art, yeah!**

**Sasori: I said it once, and I'll say it again, brat, art is and always will be eternal.**

**Deidara: Shut up, danna! I'm trying to admire the art, un! *resumes drooling over the grenades***

**Sasori: *finds a stand full of puppeteer scrolls, and a kit for making a battle puppet that looks like Jinso* *asks the woman at the register* How much for six of these scrolls and the kit?**

**Register Chick: That would be 40 bucks, sir.**

**Sasori: Bucks?**

**RC: Yeah, you know, bucks, dollars, cash, moolah?**

**Sasori: I have never heard of these **_**dollars**_** of which you speak.**

***a Chi Bunshin (Blood Clone) of Jinso suddenly appears and whispers the converted price for yen in RC's ear***

**RC: Oh! Sorry, sir, I meant 4000 yen.**

**Sasori: Oh. *hands over teh dough* Here you are. *takes six of the scrolls and the kit* Come on, brat, we have to go.**

**Deidara: Not yet, un! I must have some of these beautiful art tools! *drools over grenades* Miss, how much for ten of these artistic tools! *points to said grenades***

**RC: Artistic...tools?**

***the Chi Bunshin of Jinso appears again and whispers what Deidara means***

**RC: Oh, sorry. That would be 5000 yen.**

**Deidara: *pays money and grabs ten grenades* Sweet, hmm!**

**RC: Also, sir, if you would like a case for those, it only costs 500 more yen.**

**Deidara: Okay, un! *pays 5 bucks and grabs a case* Now we can go, danna!**

***at the coffee machines***

**Nagato: It's been so long since I've had coffee that was this good.**

**Kakuzu: I know, right? *turns in Jinso's direction* Hey, Jinso-san! How much did it cost to make all this coffee?**

**Jinso: *yells back* In your currency, about 3 dollars!**

**Kakuzu: *jaw drops* HOLY SHIT! TELL ME HOW TO MAKE THIS STUFF!**

**Jinso: Sorry, but that's a trade secret!**

***At the snack table***

**Sasuke: Yum, tomatoes!**

**Orochimaru: Oh, Sasuke-kuun~...**

**Jinso: HOLY SHIT, IT'S OROCHI-TEME! BIG JOE, TAKE OFF GAI'S YOUTH FILTER™!**

**Big Joe: RIGHT! *rips seal with a picture of the word YOUTH in a crossed-out circle off of Gai's bowl-cut***

**Jinso: EVERYONE BUT LEE AND GAI, COVER YOUR EARS AND CLOSE YOUR MOTHERFUCKING EYES!**

***insert horrifying and mentally scarring scene of Lee and Gai melting Orochi-pedo with their evil youth speeches and the Sunset From Hell Genjutsu***

**Jinso: Everyone, it's about to get quite hot in here! Shokora no Ryū (Chocolate Dragon), activate mega-evaporation system!**

**Mechanical Voice: **_**MEGA-EVAPORATION SYSTEM ACTIVATED. COMMENCING SUPER-HEATING.**_

***the room suddenly gets very stuffy, and the remains of Orochi-pedo evaporate and are sent to where they will be put to good use, A.K.A...the board room in Congress...***

**Jinso: Well, now that the stuffiness has passed, who wants to go swimming?**

***everyone raises their hands***

**Jinso: Good! Shokora no Ryū, open grand swimming pool!**

**Mechanical Voice: **_**OPENING GRAND SWIMMING POOL. HAVE A NICE DIP.**_

***A large, clear pool in the shape of a dragon's head appears in the middle of the floor, and all the chairs, tables, machines, and everything else that had once been where it is had been flipped underneath the floor***

**Jinso: Oh, and, by the way, the dragon's eye is a whirlpool hot tub! *tears off his outfit to reveal a pair of black and gold swim trunks with flame patterns on them**

***Jinso walks over and gets in the hot tub while a bunch of other people dive in the main pool area wearing swim clothes that Jinso had bought for them***

**Jinso: Gods, this feels good. *lets out a relaxed moan as the water works its magic***

**Jinso:*after five minutes* Ok, it's too fucking quiet...*jumps out of hot tub and into pool* NINJA WATER FIGHT! Author Kami Release: Sexual Waves!**

***a giant wave splashes everyone, and suddenly anyone who is female starts moaning***

**Jiraiya: I LOVE YOU, MAN!**

**Jinso: AUTHOR KAMI RELEASE: ANTI-PERVERT WAVES!**

***another wave splashes everyone, and all female peoples start moving towards Jiraiya and Kakashi***

**Jiraiya: WHY HAVE I BEEN FORSAKEN!**

**Kakashi: THE POWER OF ICHA ICHA SHALL PROTECT ME!**

**Jinso: *snaps his fingers* No it won't.**

**Kakashi: *book disappears from his hands* HOW!**

**Jinso: *snorts* Dude, Icha Icha was thought up by Jiraiya when I had a perverted dream, and it somehow made its way to his cluttered little head. I control the Icha, bitch.**

**Jiraiya: GREAT HENTAI-SAMA! I HAVE FINALLY FOUND YOU!**

**Jinso: Fuck off. *blasts a laser at Jiraiya, which sends him flying***

**Gai: IT IS A MOST YOUTHFUL DAY, IS IT NOT?**

**Jinso: DAMMIT! *blasts Gai with a laser as well, sending him flying***

**Gai: YOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUU-**

**Jinso: BIG JOE, YOUTH FILTER TRANSPORT™!**

**Big Joe: On it! *teleports youth filter onto Gai's horrible bowlcut***

**Gai: UUUUUUUU-ACK!**

**Jinso: Ok folks, now that the mental scarring's over, Anko-san, would you do the disclaimer?**

**Anko: This sexy stud over here does not own the Naruto-verse. If he did, Sasuke would've gotten his ass kicked, Sakura would've died on her first D-Rank—that's right, I said D-RANK—mission, and the sexy blond with delicious blood over there named Naruto would be a smart badass.**

**Jinso: Damn you Kishi for A) winning the deed to the Naruto anime from me in a game of poker. I KNOW YOU CHEATED, YOU LYING SONOVABITCH! B) Making Naruto like Sakura, and I don't care what you Sakura fans think. You may say "Oh, she's a strong, intelligent, kind, and beautiful person!", but I say she's only strong—as in physically—because she got training from Tsunade, she definitely wasn't intelligent enough to stop going head over heels for Sasuke and to not make Naruto promise to get him back for her, she's so NOT kind, seeing as how she used to and still does use Naruto as a human punching bag for her short-ass temper with a highly flammable cloth fuse, and she is not beautiful, seeing as she has an ironing board for a chest, and a forehead which makes all the billboards in New York praise their new god! SHE IS NOT A GOOD PERSON! GOD, that's hard to drill through your concrete skulls! C) Making Naruto a dumbass who spams Kage Bunshin like it's no one's fucking business! D) Making him not notice Hinata's love until she confesses it to him and then promptly dies.**

**Inner Jinso: WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU, KISHIMOTO, YOU FOOL!**

**Jinso: And E)...Don't even get me started on E! You made Hiruzen Sarutobi, THE KAMI NO SHINOBI, THE PROFESSOR, AND THE SANDAIME MOTHERFUCKING HOKAGE of Konohagakure no Sato a WEAK. SPINELESS. FOOL. He is the Third Hokage! He's the leader of the entire fucking village! You should have had him find out about ROOT, have had Danzo executed, told Naruto his heritage, kept Jiraiya in Konoha so as to raise Naruto to be a strong shinobi, and told the civilian council to go shut the fuck up and shove their pitiful little troubles up their asses, which, might I add, are already crowded from the sticks that are shoved so far up there that new trees could grow from there! The village is not a democracy! IT'S A MOTHERFUCKING MILITARY DICTATORSHIP! Anyone who threatens that balance should have their job/shinobi license taken, their bank funds added to the village's, and their asses kicked the fuck out with their memories taken away! GOD, THAT WAS SO FUCKING STUPID THAT I WAS TEMPTED TO KILL MYSELF! *starts panting, and takes a deep breath***

**Aaron: Damn. I didn't know you were so angsty.**

**Jinso: It only comes up when I get REALLY pissed. Sorry, Anko-san, but could you do the disclaimers again? I think I wiped the reader's minds clean of that with my rant.**

**Anko: Sure. This sexy stud over here does not own the Naruto-verse. If he did, Sasuke would've gotten his ass kicked, Sakura would've died on her first D-Rank—that's right, I said D-RANK—mission, and the sexy blond with delicious blood over there named Naruto would be a smart badass.**

**Jinso: There we go folks. Let's do this motherfucking shit.**

COFB Chapter 20- Small Armies, Random Challenges, and...TDI!

"Dance, Skellys, dance." With that, Aaron began firing off rounds of silver-plated bullets at the skeletons, which tried to avoid them, but severely failed. Group by group, the skeletons fell to the ground, bullet holes scattered all over the broken bones.

"Well, that was a bit anticlimactic." Suddenly Renda appeared in front of Aaron.

"Hello, dear cousin of mine. Would you like to play a game?" Our favorite insane kleptomaniac asked.

"What kind of game?"

"Oh, just a challenge. Get through five different sets of events, and we'll duel to the death." Aaron raised an eyebrow.

"No tricks?"

"No tricks."

"Blood oath. Now."

"Damn. I thought you wouldn't see through that. Fine." Renda cut open his palm, and Aaron cut open his own. Both smashed their hands together, and let the blood mix.

"I hereby swear that there will be no trickery or unnecessary violence in my game."

"I swear that there will be no tricks or unnecessary violence from me either." They took back their hands and ate the mixed blood.

"SHIT! Your blood tastes like a fucking piece of shit sushi dipped in bitter soy sauce!" Aaron yelled.

"Well, yours is no better! It tastes like bland cinnamon mixed with cat pee!" Renda yelled back.

After a minute, both of them had calmed down.

"Renda, I'll call off my forces if you call off yours."

"Deal." Both went back and commanded their troops to stop fighting. When the groups had gathered behind their respective leaders.

"Ok, it's time for the final fight. Everyone, stay back. This is between Renda and I alone." Aaron said to his group.

"Renda, bring on the first challenge."

"With pleasure." And with that, Aaron's world went white. He then found himself on a cruise heading for a familiar island.

"Okay, Renda." Aaron deadpanned.

"Why the hell is the first challenge a season of Total Drama Island?"

"_Because I love to see those stupid humans fight amongst one another!_" Renda's voice said in his head.

"_Oh, and, by the way, I already sent in one of those contract forms with your information on it, so no one will be suspicious. The forms said that your age was 18, just so you know._"

'_Renda, you're lucky I'm willingly doing these challenges._'

"_Whatever, ta-ta for now!_" Renda's voice then disappeared.

"For now?" Getting no response, Aaron summoned an Ipod Touch and a speaker and started playing badass music.

"And, as a surprise, our twenty-_third_ contestant, Aaron!" A voice shouted. Aaron sighed and got out a miniature smoke bomb the size of a gnat that had the power of a large smoke bomb. He then teleported right into the smoke, and it when it blew away, he was standing there arms folded, his back against a pole, with the wind rippling through his hair.

"Yo, Aaron, what's up, man?"

"Nothing much, as usual." Aaron replied with a blank face. Every single one of the contestants from the Canon version of the show was there, looking at him.

"Listen up! I got two things to say; 1, my name's Aaron, I'm gonna swear no matter what, and that's all you need to know for right now, and 2) if anyone gives me shit, they're gonna regret it, simple as that." Some of the campers (i.e: Heather and Duncan) scowled at that. Duncan marched up to him.

"You think you're tough, hotshot? Well, I don't. I'm pretty sure I'm tougher than you." Aaron raised an eyebrow and muttered under his breath,

"Folks, I'm borrowing a line from Rebukex7, so don't sue for copyright, 'cuz it ain't mine." He looked at Duncan.

"Game recognizes game, bitch, and right now, you're unfamiliar as fuck." Some of the other people started laughing quietly. Duncan raised a fist, and tried to strike Aaron, but the elf simply caught the fist, and pulled Duncan's arm behind his back, making him yell in pain.

"You better hope you don't piss me off, 'cuz I didn't get my morning coffee, and the nearest pocky stores is 876 miles away." He then shoved Duncan into the water. He turned back to the group.

"And before anyone asks about the eyes and the ears, they're all real, and don't try to pull the ears off, 'cuz it hurts like hell." Chris decided to pipe up.

"Ok, well, looks like we're all here. So once Duncan dries off, we'll get a group photo."

**7 Minutes Later**

They were all getting into a pose for the group photo on the Dock of Shame.

"Ready? One...Two...Three...nah, wait, the lens cap's on...hold that pose...One...Two...dang it! The card's full! Hang on, people!"

"Will you hurry up? My face is starting to freeze." Leshawna whined.

"Okay, I got it! Say, Wawanakwa!"

"Wawanakwa!" The dock then decided to collapse under their feet, letting everyone fall into the water with a collective "Whoa!" Except for Aaron, of course. He just stuck to the bottom of the unbroken dock part with chakra. Everyone got their heads above water and saw him doing that.

"Whoa, man. That's some freaky deaky crap right there." Chris remarked from on top of the last boat.

"How are you doing that?" Harold asked in nerdish wonder.

"I'm a ninja. Plain and simple." Aaron answered. Harold then sunk his head under the water. Aaron then walked back up on top of the deck using nothing but one hand. And the other, he was reading a Bleach manga with. Aaron then felt a slight breeze and looked down at his shirt, which had a tear in it from the splintered wood. As everyone else was getting up and drying off, he said,

"Dammit, that was my favorite shirt! Ah well, can't be helped, I guess." Before anyone could see, Aaron snapped his fingers softly, and the shirt mended itself. (He wasn't wearing his Dante outfit because Renda transported him here for the challenge.)

Chris cleared his throat, getting their attention.

"Follow me." He then led them to the campfire pit, where he explained the rules and all that crap.

"THIS…is Camp Wawanakwa, your home…for the remainder of your time staying here. The campers sitting around you will be your cabin mates, your competition, and maybe even your friends. Ya dig? The camper who manages to stay on Total Drama Island for the longest, without getting voted off, will win…$100,000!"

"'Scuse me!" Duncan called out. "What will the sleeping arrangements be? Because I'd like to request a bunk under HER." He pointed to Heather, whose mouth dropped wide open.

"They're not co-ed are they?" Heather asked, the horror still evident on her face. It looked like she was trying to avoid the urge to shiver in disgust.

"Noooo…girls get one side of each cabin, and dudes get the other." Chris explained.

"Uh…excuse me, Kyle? Can I have a cabin with a lake view since I'm the prettiest?" Lindsay asked batting her eye lashes.

"Okay, you are. But that's not really how it works here AND...It's _Chris_." Chris corrected.

"I HAVE to live with Sadie or, I'll die." Katie explained.

"And I'll break out in hives, it's true." Sadie explained.

"THIS cannot be happening." Gwen remarked as she face palmed. She should have never signed up for this.

"Aw, c'mon guys! It'll be fun! It's like a big sleepover!" Owen exclaimed, grabbing Gwen and Tyler and giving them a bear hug. Gwen and Tyler both looked at each other.

"At least you don't have to sleep with HIM." Tyler said, gesturing to Owen with his eyes.

"Now...since Aaron over there has been added, the number of players is twenty-three, which means there are some changes to the show, as well as revisions to our stunts and everything. We always have two teams on our show, and since there are twenty-three contestants, the number of team members would be unequal. Thus, we have a beginning elimination competition."

"What? You mean that before the actual competition starts, we'll already be down a contestant?" Gwen asked.

"That's right! Which means you better survive this contest! And so, to start the elimination contest, please welcome...this dude!"

"Hello, everyone! I would've been here sooner, but, you know, places to be, things to collect for myself!" Renda said.

"God damn it..." Aaron muttered, facepalming.

"Now, then, I have a way to decide this contest. You will each try to gather one of twenty-two sword keychains from me within the next twelve hours. There are two special keychains, however, and they are golden. The two people that get these will be the captains of the two teams, and get to name it, pick their players, team colors, etcetera, etcetera. After three hours, I will begin hiding these keychains in...places. It is the remaining contestants' duties to find one of these keychains. If you don't, you'll get the boot! Wrap it up Chris!"

"O-kay, then. Let's go to your cabins, then the mess hall, and then to the challenge!" Chris then showed them the cabins. He also said how there were communal bathrooms.

"Communal bathrooms? But I'm not Catholic!" Lindsay said.

"Communal, not Communion." Chris replied.

"It means we shower, piss, and shit in the same place." Aaron explained, cutting off Gwen, who was about to speak.

"You have a half an hour to unpack and meet me back at the lodge, starting...NOW!"

"!" Lindsay's spine-chilling shriek rippled through the air. If you weren't doubled over, you could have seen Aaron covering his own ears with one hand, and drawing a katana with his other.

"Man, that white girl can scream!" Leshawna remarked.

"WHAT IS IT? KILL IT! KILL IT!" Lindsay repeatedly screamed. And thus, all hell broke loose except for with Aaron. Suddenly, everyone stopped as the cockroach was burst open by a bullet from Omega. He took a packed towel, wetted it, and wiped the guts off of the floor.

"Act like adults people. It's just a frickin' roach..." He said a little bit too loud. Duncan then came running in with an axe.

"You're a little late, mohawk. And seriously, an axe? It's a bug, not a zombie." Aaron then walked off and to the kitchen. Everyone else came half an hour later.

"Listen up! I serve it three times a day, and you'll eat it three times a day! Now get your trays, grab your food, and sit your butts down NOW!"

Of course, Beth and Harold pissed off Chef with their dietary needs. So once everyone got their food and sat down, Geoff asked,

"Yo, man! Can we order a pizza?" A butcher knife then went flying past his head, and was caught between the middle and index fingers of Aaron, who was sitting behind Geoff.

"IT'S COOL, G! BROWN SLOP IS COOL! Heheheh...right, guys?" Everyone started chiming in, trying not to get on Chef's bad side.

"You know, Chef, it's not nice to endanger people." Aaron remarked with a twitching eyebrow, still holding the large butcher knife between his fingers. He then gave a slight tilt to them, and the knife ended up in the wall beside Chef, shocking even Chef himself.

Aaron stared at his food for a while before saying,

"Fuck this shit." He stood up and turned to Chris.

"There's no rule that states that we can't hunt for and cook our own food, right?" Chris nodded.

"Good, I'll be back in an hour."

**1 Hour Later**

Aaron came back in with a plate that had three hotdogs in buns with ketchup on them and two cheeseburgers with ketchup and pickles on them. He also had ten sticks of pocky to sate his cravings. Everyone smelled the food and began drooling, even Heather. It was a scene where you could have easily put in the meme "Haters gonna hate".

"Whoa, man, where'd you get that stuff?" Geoff asked in amazement.

"Made it."

"I don't believe you." Heather replied, folding her arms. Aaron pointed to the hotdogs.

"Pig, pig, turkey." He then pointed to the two burgers.

"Deer, alligator." Heather made a grunting noise, signifying that she still didn't believe.

"Hey, Chris, can you go check to see if the campfire has recently been lit?" Aaron asked with a sigh. Within a minute, Chris came back and said,

"Yeah, it looks like it was lit maybe ten minutes ago." Aaron then gave Heather a look which clearly said '_I told you so, bitch._'

"Well, that's where these came from." Aaron then inhaled the burgers with inhuman speed. He then took one stick of pocky and began chewing on it.

"What is that stuff?" Came the unexpected question from Heather herself.

"It's called pocky, and it's treat from back home. It's essentially a handmade biscuit stick lightly coated with sugar and dipped in chocolate. Anyone wanna try one?" DJ, Geoff, Bridgette, Harold, Beth, Lindsay, Sadie, Katie, (surprisingly) Duncan, Gwen, Trent, Justin, Owen, Cody, Leshawna, and Chris all raised their hands. Aaron 'magically' pulled pocky out of nowhere (A.K.A: his pocket dimension) and gave them each one.

"You know...*munch*...this stuff if pretty good." Gwen remarked. Aaron, for the first time since he arrived, showed an emotion other than anger or neutrality. He smirked. Then Aaron ate the rest of his.

"Okay, campers! Time for your elimination challenge!" Chris announced. They all walked back to the cabins, where Renda was waiting.

"Hello everyone! Ready for your challenge?"

"Then...GO!" Chris said. Aaron immediately disappeared, reappeared behind Renda, and snatched a golden sword keychain. Chris marked Aaron off as okay.

"5 seconds...what the heck?" Aaron shoved the keychain in his pocket.

"If you need me, I'll be somewhere that's not right where I am." He then shimmered out of existence. Aaron reappeared near the top of a tree a little bit away from the cabins. He watched Renda speed off, with Izzy being extremely close to getting a keychain.

'_Note to self: Crazy equals fucking awesome luck._' Three hours later, Gwen came by and looked up, seeing him resting there.

"Hey, Aaron, was it?"

"Yeah?"

"Can you come down here?"

"Sure." Aaron then hopped down.

"What'dya need?"

"I saw you smack your face when that Renda guy was introduced. Do you know him?"

"Yeah, he's actually my cousin, but Renda's a crazy little bastard. He's also a kleptomaniac."

"Oh. Is that why he talks like he's part British?"

"Yeah, pretty much. Need a keychain?"

"How'd you know I was going to ask?"

"I was the first person to get a leader keychain, so I figured someone would. Be right back with the best I can get you." Within a minute, he reappeared with a silver keychain.

"Here you go." He said, dropping it into Gwen's hand.

"Do your best to stay in the game, alright?" With that, he vanished with a "_whoosh!_"

**9 Hours Later**

Every camper had lined up at the bonfire pit.

"Let's see who got their keychains!" Chris went over to each person. The campers were lined up according to the time it took for them to get their own keychain, and Aaron was first.

"Aaron, you were the first person to get a keychain, and a golden one at that! Since the producers want to appease the viewers, we gotta ask, man. How did you do it in five seconds when it took everyone else at least thirty minutes?" Aaron smirked.

"Sorry to all the viewers out there, but I can't reveal my secrets. It's a competition. Gotta stay on top."

"Good thinking! Hope it'll get you far, *insert Chris's unique evil laugh*!" The next was Izzy.

"Looks like Izzy got her keychain as well! I wonder who has the other golden one?" The list went on, with Heather having the other golden keychain, until it was at the last person, Ezekiel, who didn't get one.

" Dude, you didn't get a keychain?" Chris asked. Ezekiel shook his head no.

"I wonder why, eh?" Aaron facepalmed.

"Remember what happened earlier?" He deadpanned.

_FURRASHU BAKKU NO JUTSU!_

"_You know, the only reason I'm here is because my parents wanted me to interact with other kids, eh." Ezekiel stated. They were all sitting in the mess hall, waiting for Chris to come and take them to meet Renda._

"_Then why do you look so happy?" Aaron asked._

"_My dad said that I should help girls if they needed it. They aren't as strong as guys are, eh." And that was the lighter that lit the small fuse._

"_Care to explain what you mean by that?" Eva asked, getting angrier._

"_Well, guys are just better and stronger at sports than girls are." Aaron shook his head._

"_Prairie Boy, you just fucked up more than my cousin did when he decided to drink toxic waste. And for your information, yes, he did drink toxic waste." Aaron told the poor kid, who was being held in the air by his throat by Eva. Aaron then got up and walked over._

"_May I do the honors? I hate misogynists." Bridgette, who was right beside Eva nodded with an evil grin. Aaron cracked his knuckles, and reared his fist back for an uppercut. Next thing the homeschooled moron knew, there was an Ezekiel-shaped hole in the lodge ceiling._

"_And it's outta here! Ahahahaha!" Aaron laughed. Chris then decided to walk in._

"_Okay, who put a hole in my ceiling!" The narcissist shouted. Everyone pointed to Aaron, who simply shrugged and said,_

"_I hate prejudicial people."_

_FURRASHU BAKKU NO JUTSU: KAI!_

"Oh, that!" Chris said as he chuckled evilly.

"Well, our friend Renda here decided to let the campers all have a choice on whether the person who didn't get a bell was eliminated or not, just for kicks!"

**CONFESSION CAM**

"Sheesh…I thought women weren't aggressive. Whoever conducted that study sure didn't include Eva into their calculations, eh?'' Ezekiel asked as he held a Kleenex to his bloody nose.

_STATIC_

''If I have to listen to that home-schooled prairie boy's sexist remarks one more time, I think I may kill him.'' Eva snarled as he punched her closed fist.

_STATIC_

''I may not agree with Aaron and Eva's ways of handling Ezekiel, but he's asking for it.'' Bridgette agreed.

_STATIC_

''Well, this is gonna be fun." Aaron deadpanned. "Prairie Boy got what was coming to him, especially since I did it! But anyways, the kid's getting' eliminated. No doubt about it."

_STATIC_

"So does Ezekiel stay or go?" Chris asked, knowing the answer.

"HE GOES!" Came the shouts of the female populous of Camp Wawanakwa. Aaron chuckled.

"Prairie Boy, you're out." The elf simply said. Everyone else started agreeing.

"B-B-But what did I do? All I did was I suggested that needed help because they aren't as strong as guys, eh! Isn't that a fact of life?" As soon as those words left his mouth, Eva was about to charge and ruin the kid's ability to have children, but a kunai with an exploding note appeared at Ezekiel's feet. It then promptly blew up, shooting him up and down onto the boat. Everyone turned to see Aaron absentmindedly twirling a kunai on his pinky, whistling happily.

"Hey, the kid needed a good blow to the head, and I was just the person to do it."

"Okay then! Now that Ezekiel's gone, it's time to pick the teams. Aaron, you may choose the first player!"

"Duncan." The green mohawked boy walked over to him.

"Lindsay."

"Gwen."

"Justin!"

"DJ."

"Hold up, everyone! I just realized something! If we have a cooperative team, then the show would be way too boring!" Chris shouted. It was really just an excuse to go get his massage and get away from the teens.

"Beth, Cody, Katie, Sadie, Noah, Owen, Eva, and Leshawna, you all go sit by Heather! The rest of you poor misfits go sit over with Aaron!" Once everyone did so, albeit yelling and groaning, Chris turned to the elf.

"So, Aaron what'll your team name be?"

"The Todorokasu no Ryū." He spoke in an aloof voice.

"'Scuse me?"

"It's Japanese for 'Thundering Dragons'."

"Ah, ok. The Thundering Dragons it is!" Aaron's team was tossed a banner that had an emblem of a dragon head on it. The whole symbol was bright yellow.

"So glad I met with you earlier about the name, 'cuz your team's symbol is awesome!"

"And the other team, you are the Screaming Gophers, since Renda here apparently loves gophers!"

"What the heck! How come the other team got to pick their name?" Heather demanded.

"I simply like their leader more. He's the kind of dude you'd want to party with!" Chris replied with a cackle.

"Now, go rest up in your cabins. The competition officially starts tomorrow!" Chris then said, chuckling mischievously.

**CONFESSION CAM**

"Aaron is really wicked. I can't believe he got a leader keychain in five seconds. Maybe he'd be up for partying some time?" Geoff wondered.

_STATIC_

"I can't believe I'm saying this, but Mr. Multicolored Eyes actually seems pretty cool." Duncan said to the camera with a glare.

_STATIC_

"That Aaron guy seems pretty cool, and he likes nature. That's an okay in my book." DJ commented, holding a bunny.

_STATIC_

"Aaron is a nice guy. I wonder if he likes surfing?" Bridgette asked with a finger to her chin.

_STATIC_

"This place seems pretty nice." Aaron said, chewing on a pocky stick. He then stopped and burst out laughing.

"Ah, who am I kidding? This s***hole looks like it'll collapse any moment!" Aaron then frowned.

"I can already hear the f***ing censor beeps now."

_STATIC_

**END CONFESSIONALS**

**Jinso: Well, that was Chapter 20, and now Aaron is on TDI.**

**Aaron: Really? You put me there?**

**Jinso: Hey, Renda's equally as random—if not more—as me. So it's fitting that he'd chose some random Canadian TV show.**

**Aaron: Oh well. But how come you had to censor me while I was doing the confessional's?**

**Jinso: Actually, that one's on the FCC. Go pummel them if you like.**

**Aaron: Fine. I'll see you guys next chapter. *flies off to go castrate every male FCC member***

**Jinso: Have a nice day!**

**~Jinso-kun**


	21. AN

**Hey everyone, it's Jinso here. Now, I know this isn't what you expected, but I've decided to put an A/N with some bad news. As some of you may know, the owners of are trying to delete any M rated fic, any song-fic, and any fics with sexual content, and it fucking pisses me off! *smashes a table***

**As I said, the owners of this wonderful website are trying to ban the type of stories mentioned above, and I'm pissed. Now, there is a possible solution, and no, it's not ragequitting the website for good. There is a petition for the story at ****www(dot)change(dot)org/petitions/fanfiction-net-stop-the-destruction-of-fanfiction-net.**

**Now, all the people listed below are with me on this subject, 'cuz I got the list from Inuyonas, who does some damn great stories:**

**Jinso-kun ((Now known as Jinso Kitsune-kun)who is damn pissed off and ready to bust some heads)**

**Inuyonas**

**Psudocode_Samurai**

**Rocketman1728**

**dracohalo117**

**VFSNAKE**

**Agato the Venom Host**

**Jay Frost**

**SamCrow**

**Blood Brandy**

**Dusk666**

**Hisea Ori**

**The Dark Graven**

**BlackRevenant**

**Lord Orion Salazar Black**

**Sakusha Saelbu**

**Horocrux**

**socras01**

**Kumo no Makoto**

**Biskoff**

**Korraganitar the NightShadow**

**NightInk**

**Lazruth**

**ragnrock kyuubi**

**SpiritWriterXXX**

**Ace6151**

**FleeingReality**

**Harufu**

**Exiled crow**

**Slifer1988**

**Dee Laynter**

**Angeldoctor**

**Final Black Getsuga**

**ZamielRaizunto**

**Fenris187**

**blood enraged**

**arashiXnoXkami**

**tstoldt**

**Mystic 6 tailed Naruto**

**ElementalMaster16**

**Dark Vizard447**

**Darth Void Sage of the Force**

**Shiso no Kitsune**

**The Sinful**

**Kage640**

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**Kyuubi16**

**darthkamon**

**narutodragon**

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**Cjonwalrus**

**Killjoy3000**

**blueexorist**

**White Whiskey**

**Ying the Nine Tail Fox**

**Gin of the wicked smile**

**tstoldt**

**The wolf god Fenri**

**JazzyJ09**

**sleepers4u**

**The Unknown 007**

**Gallantmon228**

**MKTerra**

**Gunbladez19**

**Forgottenkami**

**RHatch89**

**SoulKingonCrack**

**Dreadman75**

**Knives91**

**The Lemon Sage**

**Dark Spidey**

**VioletTragedies**

**Eon The Cat of Shadows**

**kazikamikaze24**

**animegamemaster6**

**LLOYDROCKS**

**demented-squirrel**

**swords of dawn**

**The Immoral Flame**

**blueexorist**

**Challenger**

**Shywhitefox**

**drp83**

**Bethrezen**

**Dragon6**

**bellxross**

**unweymexicano**

**The First Kitsukage**

**kingdom219**

**brown phantom**

**littleking9512**

**kurokamiDG**

**Auumaan**

**FrancineBlossom**

**BDG420**

**Her Dark Poet**

**bloodrosepsycho**

**Shen an Calhar**

**NarutoMasterSage4040**

**Masamune X23**

**Kuromoki**

**Sliver Lynx**

**devilzxknight86**

**Unis Crimson**

**Zero X Limit**

**SinX. Retribution**

**reven228**

**JAKdaRIPPER**

**Third Fang**

**IRAssault**

**Grumpywinter**

**absolutezero001**

**Single Silver Eye**

**animekingmike**

**Daniel Lynx**

**zerohour20xx**

**arturus**

**Silvdra-Zero**

**YoukoTaichou**

**Leonineus**

**Aragon Potter**

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**Toa Naruto Soleneus **

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**bucketbot **

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**Lord of Daemons **

**Lord Anime **

**CloudRed1988 **

**forestscout **

**The Lost Mana **

**Red Warrior of Light**

**TUAOA MORRISTOFOX **

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**JK10 **

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**ted009 **

**Ralmidaz **

**lederra **

**Lost my shoe in Sheol **

**ToyHaunter **

**Hiyami **

**PuckReathof **

**demonsinger **

**konomu-Imout **

**LOVEMANGA AND DRARRY **

**yuseiko-chan **

**Elvira-baba **

**Icecce **

**iampieman **

**Ultimabloodblade **

**Gintoki **

**kumar9900 **

**DemonAngel of Ice **

**dragon-cloud16 **

**Harute Haptism **

**the green ace of clubs **

**Assassin King of Masyaf **

**Flame-Fist-Ace **

**Lucifer's Remnants **

**Story Reader 97 **

**kniznik **

**NARUHAREM FOREVA **

**NHunter **

**Angry Hamster **

**Kouken Tenshi **

**Yume Saint-Clair **

**Oo-chan **

**jojo(non inscrit) **

**gaia (pas inscrit) **

**Estelle Uzumaki **

**Melana76 **

**onarluca **

**Xanara **

**odvie archiemouse **

**Fenrir the vicious **

**taj14 **

**c im am a dragon**

**God Emperor Of GAR-halla **

**Warrior of Olympus **

**Xxfreefallangelxx **

**BituMAN **

**shadowcub **

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**Evolution ScorpinokXV **

**Hunter200007 **

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**arya19 **

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**Kiranos **

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**Burning Truth **

**DrunkManSquakin **

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**You-Lack-BadAssery**

**Silverscale**

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**Saphire Quill **

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**Soul Painted Black **

**Infinite Freedome **

**Rodneysao Shatsuka **

**jm1681 **

**Ookami88 **

**Akira Strider **

**empresskitsune **

**KitsuneGirl021 **

**KagomeGirl021 **

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**lite spirit **

**CelticReaper **

**fullhouses **

**Felur **

**TitaniumWyvern **

**NeonZangetsu **

**LargerSnowdevil **

**I'm Yu **

**Define Incompetent **

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**BackwardsHazard **

**lord Martiya Umashido **

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**sjghostwriter18 **

**scout360pyro **

**taintedloki **

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**kumar9900 **

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**Uzumaki Crossover **

**Etsukazu no Kitsune **

**Ranger-kit **

**rts515 **

**Soulblazer87 **

**Kamigawa **

**Nagamaki**

**F Archer **

**us4gi-ch4n **

**Shirabaka Tenji **

**Spear-of-the-doomed **

**Painsake **

**Ben1987 **

**Spartan Ninja **

**dante5986 **

**Victoriousvillian**

**Sage of Eyes**

**Boomerbambam**

**YosoNoAkuma**

**Megaman88 **

**Angry Hamster **

**Warden of the Runes **

**Kiyoi **

**Silverstonedragon**

**Akane Mosoa **

**Cryofthewolf **

**Culebra del Sol**

**HouseMD93 **

**Doc. K-9 **

**dracon867 **

**Moka Mcdowell **

**VGZ Oirarana **

**Nightmares Around Winter **

**chuck17 **

**Son Of A Wolf Daniel **

**Lynx Sibjisibdi **

**sleepwhenyourdead1989**

**BackwardsHazard **

**Hunter200007 **

**Zagger the Bloody Angel **

**Zen Rinnegan **

**Duochanfan **

**alice the noble **

**Zagger the Bloody Angel**

**BRD man **

**nano101**

**ShotgunWilly**

**EternalKnight219**

**Deadak Idiote **

**AkumaKami64 **

**loki0191 **

**konoha's Nightmare**

**zrodethwing ursineus **

**KamenRiderNexus **

**neko-hikage-chan **

**Project Slepnir **

**Narora Senoku **

**spider79 **

**ZloGlaZ**

**Erebus of the Banat belnonm**

**Tristan Blackheart**

**Xefix**

**dbzsotrum9**

**Nanna00**

**kired-reader**

**Kingswriter**

**hollyshortfowl**

**ChaosRaptorEye**

**The Infamous Man**

**Vampchick2010**

**THE Dark Dragen**

**26-Lord-Pain**

**Vail Ryuketsu**

**darkmatter13**

**forbiddenfruitunloved**

**lostandthedamned**

**EmperialGem21**

**Chiyo Asakura**

**SnakeHead85**

**Zediir**

**OccultAura**

**ZeroZangetsu**

**will1by2**

**Taullinis**

**dregus**

**rst64lc**

**Leaf Ranger**

**SaiyanShinobi**

**Dez Guardius**

**The Fifth Rider of Armageddon**

**Now, if you don't mind...I'm gonna rant.**

**So sit your asses down, shut the fuck up, and listen! My name is Jinso Kitsune-kun! Welcome to hell, 'cuz as of right now, your asses are mine! **

**I've been on Fanfiction for almost an entire year now, and I'm proud to call it my home on the Internet. There are friendly people (not including the idiotic flamers), great stories, and all around good times. But the owners of Fanfiction want to take away all M-rated stories, just 'cuz some idiotic, overreacting pussy of a snot-nosed, greenhorn, wet behind the ears 8-year old read something he shouldn't have, even though there was a warning, and his mom decided to have a bitch-tantrum. Hey, lady, THREE WORDS: PARENTAL. FUCKING. CONTROLS. Simple as that, you old bitch! Instead of raging over the fact that your child read a story with lemons in it, ban him from the fucking computer for three months, set a damn admin account on it that he can't access, and then monitor every fucking site he goes to while he's on the computer once he gets use of it back! We got the first amendment backing us, bitch, and we're not gonna take any shit! We can write what we want, when we want, and how we want! You don't fucking like it? Then get the fuck off of this site before I find you, strap on a pair of cleats, and stomp a mudhole so deep in your ass that it'll take archeologists a millennium to fill it up! Yeah, I said that! Come at me, bro! Show me what you fucking got! As Eminem said, I'M NOT AFRAID, bitch!**

**Now that I'm done with that **_**part**_** of my well-deserved venting rant, let's move onto some others. *Pulls out a notepad and puts on reading glasses* Ah, yes, let's see...Oh, here's one! The owners of Fanfiction want to also take off any song-fics, fics that are rated M because of gore or violence, and practically any stories with points of gruesome plot convenience.**

***audience groans***

**Yeah, it just plain pisses me off, too.**

**I think it's time for me to take the glasses off and get down to business.**

***pulls of shades***

**Now, you all don't want your stories deleted for being rated M, right? Well guess what? It gets even worse. The owners of Fanfiction could also possibly be deleting any ACCOUNTS with STORIES that are rated M! That's right! Your ACCOUNT could get deleted just because of some idiotic booger-flicking brat and his old bitch of a mother! Grow up, lady! Your kid's gonna be doing the mattress dance in the future, so suck it up! You grew, didn't ya? I guess not, 'cuz you're bitching more than your brat! Yeah, fuck you, bitch!**

**...**

**Ok, folks, I think I might be drunk, but, I just...I don't know...**

**This whole ordeal has got me screwed up on the inside and the outside...**

**Don't worry, I'll keep posting my stories so long as my account stays active...**

**Until then, Ja Ne.**

**~Jinso Kitsune-kun**


	22. And now we play the waiting game

**Jinso: Hello everyone, and welcome to the 21****st**** chapter of COFB!**

COFB Chapter 21- And now we play the waiting game...

**Three Days After**

"So what's our challenge, Chris? I'm sure it isn't gonna be hard." DJ asked.

"Just get on your swimsuits and meet me back here."

**3 Minutes Later**

"Ok, ladies and gents, follow me to your first challenge!" And thus, they were led up to the top of the cliff.

"Oh, man..."

"Okay! Today's challenge is threefold! Your first task is to jump off this 1000 foot cliff...into the lake." Chris announced.

"Piece of cake." Bridgette commented to Tyler.

"If you look down, you will see two target areas. The wider area represents that part of the lake that we have stocked with psychotic..." He stopped here to chuckle.

"...man-eating sharks! Inside that area is a safe zone. That's...your target area, which we're pretty sure is shark-free."

"Excuuuse me?" Leshawna asked.

"For each member of your team that jumps and actually...survives, there will be a crate of supplies waiting below. Inside each crate are supplies you'll need for the second part of the challenge—building...a hot tub. The team with the best one gets to have a WICKED hot tub party tonight. The losers...will be sending someone home. Let's see...Thundering Dragons, you're up first!"

**With Said Dragons**

"Oh, wow. So...who wants to go first?" Bridgette asked, standing at the edge of the cliff. There was enough silence that you could hear a cricket chirping.

"Hey, don't sweat it guys! I heard that these shows always make the interns do the stunts first to make sure it's survivable!" Owen remarked from over with the Screaming Gophers.

_FURASSHU BAKKU NO JUTSU!_

"_We need to test the stunts first. You know that." Chris said to Chef._

"_Do I look like an intern?"_

"_No, but all the others besides you and those three are in the hospital! BANZAI!" Renda shouted, firing a massive laser at three interns, which was not enough to kill them, and it shot them into the air. One was sent into the danger zone. Another was sent flying onto the docks, where he was dragged under the water by a massive tentacle. And the last actually did end up in the safe zone._

"_Hmm...1/3...I guess my aim was a bit off. Oh well! That means at least seven of them will survive!" Renda said happily._

"_What is wrong with that man?" Chef asked._

"_HOW DARE YOU! NYAN LASER OF INCREDIBLE DOOM AND BLASTAGE!" Renda then fired a rainbow-shitting, poptart-bodied, grey, singing cat from his hands._

"_—" The rainbow-shitting cat thing was promptly cut off as it slammed into Chef and knocked him into water._

"_Well that seems safe enough." Said Chris, blocking off the memory of Renda's Nyan Laser._

_FURASSHU BAKKU NO JUTSU: KAI!_

"I guess since I'm team captain, I'll go first." Aaron was wearing a pair of black swim trunks with golden flame patterns on them. He then moved to the edge of the cliff.

"Watch and learn, folks. _This_...is how you cliff dive." He then jumped straight up, somersaulted twice, and then did a swan dive into the safe zone. Breaching the surface, Aaron reared his hair back and let water drip down his chest for appeal...and maybe also for a ratings increase so as to keep Chris from bitchin' if he fucked someone up. Unfortunately, there was a shark in the safe zone, making everyone look at Chris wildly.

"Hey, I said we were _pretty_ sure. I didn't say fully." Chris then laughed evilly.

"Move! Run, man!" Came multiple shouts from his team. The ravenous shark was dashing towards Aaron. He then turned around, and it stopped. The two locked eyes and stared for a minute before Aaron started making weird noises.

"Hurgeerefpgghhhh kletdhfggghh." He said. Everyone just stopped and gave him a 'what-the-fuck-are-you-doing' stare. Surprisingly, the shark responded.

"Grahhfgphhhhkuuuu." It then swam off into the danger zone and stayed out, telling the other sharks to as well.

"Dude...what the hell..." Chris remarked. Aaron looked up and saw their surprised faces.

"What? I can easily speak over 70 languages including dialects, animal languages, and frequencies."

**THUMP!**

"And there goes DJ..."

"Well, come on down, the water's great!" He shouted. That snapped them out of it.

"So...who's gonna go next?" Bridgette then reluctantly volunteered herself.

"It's no big deal. Just an insane cliff dive into a circle of angry sharks." Bridgette then swan dove down and got up out of the water.

"She did it! Yeah! Yeah! I'm next!" Tyler announced. He got some distance, ran, and jumped off the cliff, shouting "Cowabunga!" as he dived in a way that looked like a cross between a swan dive and a belly flop.

"Yo, man, watch out for that..."

**CLANG!**

Aaron was too late to warn Tyler as the dude fell straight onto a buoy, gonads first.

"Ooh..." Bridgette winced from the tug boat.

"OOOHH!" Tyler, still conscious (the poor bastard) slid straight off the buoy, going "Aghh..."

"Damn, even my pocky felt that one!" Aaron also said from the tug boat.

"WOOOHOOHOOHOOHOOO!" Yelled Geoff as he went down.

"Yeahahahhhaha!" Izzy cried as she went down in some form of belly flop.

"..." Duncan just went down in silence, his knees bent and his arms folded across his chest, scowling at the camera.

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!" Gwen yelled as she went down, knees bent inwards and her legs pointing up at angles. DJ was looking down from the cliff.

"Nuh-uh. No way, man. I'm not jumpin'." He said. Aaron then yelled at him, not about to lose.

"DJ, IF YOU JUMP, I'LL GET YOU A PET FOX!" DJ thought about the prospect. He _did_ love nature.

"Face your fears...face your fears..." He chanted to himself. Repeating the mantra, DJ jumped.

"See, man, I knew you could do it." Aaron said. Opening his eyes, DJ saw that he had landed in the safe zone.

"I-I did it! I DID IT!" The Jamaican yelled happily. Getting out of the water and into the tug boat, and he got on the shore next to Aaron. Said elf almost immediately pulled something orange and fuzzy from behind his back. All the women (even Eva) went "Aww..."

"Her name's Natsu (Summer), and she's all yours." Aaron told him. Natsu cuddled up with the bulky Jamaican. Harold then jumped off, saying, "Yes, waaaaaaaaa!" Unfortunately, he opened his legs and hit the water, family jewels first, in a full split.

"!" Everyone winced, sans Chris, Eva and Aaron, birds flew from their spots, and two of the sharks also winced. Harold grabbed his crotch with one last, "AGGHHH!" and sank underwater. All the men held both hands over their crotches in sympathy, except Aaron and Chris, with the former not doing so because of emotional training, and the latter because it was all too damn funny.

"Oh, hate to see that happen!" Chris commented next to Courtney. Speaking of which...

"Excuse me Chris, I have a medical condition." She said.

"What condition?"

"A condition that prevents me from jumping off cliffs."

"I CALL BULLSHIT!" Aaron shouted from below.

"I KNOW EVERY MEDICAL CONDITION KNOWN TO MAN, AND THAT ISN'T ONE OF THEM! I WILL NOT HAVE A TEAM WITH **ANY** LOSERS ON IT!" He yelled up to them. Courtney then got furious.

"YOU THINK I'M A LOSER! I AM **NOT** A LOSER! I'LL SHOW YOU!" She raged. Duncan decided to add in his two cents from five feet away.

"Dude, you're screwed." A rock then hit Duncan in the face, knocking him down.

"Stow it, prison bitch." Courtney then jumped down into the water and quickly got on the tug boat. When she got to shore, Courtney marched over to Aaron.

"HOW DARE YOU! I HAVE HALF A MIND TO—"

"You jumped, didn't ya?" Courtney stopped right there.

"But—"

"And we practically won, didn't we?"

"..."

'_Must resist urge to make a snarky comment..._'

"Hmph!" Aaron smirked which resulted in him dodging a rock that hit Duncan, who was still on the ground, in the balls.

"Aggghhhhh!"

"Yeahhhhhhhh!" Trent shouted as he jumped down from the cliff.

Chris then checked off the entire list of Thundering Dragons campers.

"Wow, a perfect score. Thundering Dragons, if the Screaming Gophers can't tie with you, we'll give you a bunch of pulley carts to help you carry your stuff!"

"So, who's going first?" Cody asked. Everyone looked at Heather.

"What? I am not diving off this cliff." She huffed.

"Why not?"

"Hello, national TV. I'll get my hair wet."

"You're kidding, right?" Eva asked with a growl. That girl _really_ needed anger management classes.

"If she's not doing it, I'm not doing it." Lindsay stated.

"Oh, you're doing it." Leshawna snarled.

"Says who?" Heather asked.

"Says me. I'm not losing this challenge just 'cuz you got yo' hair did, you spoiled little daddy's girl."

"Back off, ghetto glamour, too-tight-pants-wearing rap-star-wannabe."

"Mall shoppin', ponytail-wearin', teen-girl-readin', peakin'-in-high-school prom queen."

"Well at least I'm _popular_." Everyone started backing away.

"You're jumpin'!"

"Make me!"

"Put the skinny bitch in her place!" Aaron yelled, sitting at a betting table. He, Duncan, DJ, Bridgette, Geoff, Gwen, and Trent had each bet 15 bucks against Heather. Harold and Courtney had each bet 20 bucks that Heather would not go down off the cliff. Harold only bet that because he had a fear of ninjas, and Aaron was a badass one...The dumbasses...

Leshawna picked Heather up and held the girl over her head. She then walked to the end of the cliff and tossed Heather into the safe zone.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

**SPLASH!**

"Courtney, Harold, I believe you two should pay up now." He held out a hand and made a "Pony up" motion. They both paid money to the seven people, who grinned at the cash.

"Never make a bet against the devil." He advised as Leshawna dropped down.

"I thought this was going to be a talent contest!" Lindsay whined.

"Hahahahahaha! Yeah! Hahahahahah—no." She then jumped down. Then Cody went, flailing his arms.

"You scream like a little bitch!" Aaron yelled at him. Next was Justin, who landed outside the safe zone. Two sharks came at him.

"Swim! Swim!" Cody and Leshawna yelled out. He then turned around, and the sharks stopped, somehow falling in love due to Justin's weird...eye smolder...thing. Aaron pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Kami-chan, if you think I'm hotter, please drop a boulder on him..." The elf mumbled. Thankfully, a boulder did come down and drop on him with the words "_I think Aaron-kun is hotter! –Kami-chan_" carved on it.

"Hah! Kami-sama doesn't think he's hot stuff!" Aaron laughed and pointed. Everyone looked at the rock, and its message, and then at Aaron, then back at the rock, and back at Aaron. The elf merely smirked.

"I guess I've got Kami-sama's favor." Another boulder dropped down on Justin, breaking the previous one.

"AGHHHH!"

This boulder said "_Damn straight you've got my favor, hot stuff. –Kami-chan_" Aaron smirked.

"Right back at you, gorgeous!" He shouted at the clouds. The sky grew a little bit pinker, as though it was blushing. Every other contestant just focused their attention back on Justin, who was still under the boulder.

"My beautiful face..." The teen mumbled. He was then pulled onto the tug boat and dropped on the shore unceremoniously.

"I...I can't do it. I'm too scared." Beth lisped. Chris pulled out a chicken hat, which squeaked, and Beth yelled.

"I'm sorry!" Cody and Leshawna began imitating chickens.

"That is, like, so lame...right?" Lindsay asked.

"_Fully_ lame." Heather responded, but she was glaring daggers at Aaron for calling her a 'skinny bitch', in his words. And maybe also for getting a deity's favor (she didn't know how the hell that was even possible)

"Look out below!" Eva shouted as she went down. Noah then dropped down without a word.

"Sadie and Katie, since you two have two heads and one brain, you're gonna both count as one person."

"We're coming, Screaming Gophers!" They said as they jumped off. Chris held up his megaphone and announced that Owen was the last one.

**CONFESSION CAM**

Owen- "I was pretty nervous. I mean, I'm not that strong a swimmer."

_STATIC_

Geoff- "I'm lookin' at this guy, and I'm thinkin' 'There's no way he's gonnna make it.'"

_STATIC_

Gwen- "I actually thought 'If he jumps this...'" She paused to narrow her eyes.

"'He's gonna die.'"

_STATIC_

Aaron was once more chewing a stick of pocky.

"I looked up at the cliff, and I saw him strap on those floaties. Then I knew that he was gonna jump. I just had to make sure I was out of the splash zone and sitting at the back of the bleachers." He commented.

"Oh, and the boulder thing? Let's just say...life is good."

_STATIC_

**END CONFESSIONALS**

"Take a good run at it, buddy. You can do this." Chris assured Owen.

"I'm going to die now. I'm going to TOTALLY die now." The portly kid said. Everyone stared up expectantly, and Aaron moved to stand on the top of a tree. Owen clenched his fists, and his knuckles cracked. Owen then broke into a run.

"!" Owen shouted as he flew past Chris and over the cliff.

"!"

**SPLOOSH!**

**WHOOSH!**

Faster than you could exclaim "Oh, fuck!" all the beachgoers were covered in water, and the tug boat had capsized. On land. Try figuring that one out, Archimedes. (Archimedes came up with the principle of buoyancy, A.K.A: "Boaty go float float!") Aaron and Chris were the only safe ones.

"Yes! Yeah, yeah! Who's the man?" Owen exclaimed.

"Uh, dude, your team still lost the first part of the challenge." Aaron said dryly, pointing a finger.

"Chris, I believe you owe my team some pulley carts, do you not?" He then asked the host.

"Right! The winners: The Thundering Dragons!" Aaron nodded.

"Damn straight."

"Dude, we may not have won, but that was awesome." Cody remarked. Owen was searching for something.

"What's wrong?"

"I kinda...lost my shorts..."

"Ohh!"

"Ewww!"

"I ain't going in that damn water 'till somebody fuckin' chlorinates it." Guess who?

"I agree with Rainbow Eyes." Guess who again?

"Thundering Dragons, please come and get your carts!" The whole team went over and loaded their crates onto the cart, merrily chanting, "Aaron! Aaron! Aaron!" over and over as they moved along. The elf had gotten them the win by convincing DJ and Courtney to jump, albeit using bargaining on the former and reverse psychology on the latter. But hey, they still won!

**At the Campgrounds**

"Ok, people listen up! We're building the hot tub my way, and I don't want to hear any complaints! I'm well versed in construction and repair, so I think we'll be just fine! Now let's get building!" The group cheered (except for miss C.I.T with a 4.0) and set to work.

**1 Hour and 33 Minutes Later**

"Let's see whose hot tub is the best!" Chris said, announcing the judging time. He first went over to the Screaming Gophers.

"This is an AWESOME hot tub!" He exclaimed. Heather stuck her tongue out at Aaron. He just smirked right back, letting her know that something was up. Chris then inspected the Thundering Dragons' hot tub.

"They're both about the same! I didn't expect that!" The host said, surprised for once.

"Ah, ah, ah, that's not all Chris!" Aaron said with a devilish grin. He pulled out a remote and pressed a purple button. Jets started making bubbles all in the hot tub.

"Jets? How'd you get this stuff?"

"Hey, I ain't sayin'. We need to keep a leg up on the competition." Aaron replied casually.

"Wait a minute! They didn't use just the parts that were provided to make theirs! So they lose!" Heather yelled.

"Hey, he never said we couldn't add in anything else, now did he?" The badass elf said right back at her.

"He's right, I didn't."

"Ugghhh!"

"And even then, we're still not done." Aaron said, getting back to the matter at hand. He pressed a yellow button, and speakers popped out, playing Three Days Grace.

"Sweet! You got tunes, too!"

"Still not done!" Aaron finally pressed a green button, and cup holders popped out.

"Can't forget the cup holders!"

"I think it's official. The Thundering Dragons win!" Aaron smiled for once and nodded while the rest of his team cheered.

"Couldn't have done it without my awesome teammates, though. I gave them the instructions. They did most of the labor. And because of that, we got a fuckin' awesome hot tub to rock in for the rest of the summer!" Aaron cheered, raising a glass of sake.

"Where'd you get _that_?" Heather asked scornfully.

"Hey, in one of the places I'm a citizen of, the drinking age is any age!" Aaron replied.

"And what _place_ would that be?"

"Russia."

"You're Russian?" Aaron contemplated for a moment.

"I've got a lot of heritage, I'll tell you that. I'm part Irish, Scottish, Serbian, Russian, British, Japanese, White, Canadian, and English. Nine different heritages, people." (A/N: That is a literal fact about me right there, except for the Canadian part. I only got eight heritages.)

"Dude, that's a more messed up family than mine." Duncan said.

"Keine strafbare handlung." Aaron replied. Everyone stared at him. Taking a pocky stick that he somehow put in his mouth while working, the elf sighed.

"German for 'No offense taken.'"

"Ah."

"Now then, not trying to gloat here, but, who's up for a hot tub party?" The Thundering Dragons all raised their hands, cheering. The Screaming Gophers, meanwhile, went to go sulk and vote someone off. That someone turned out to be no one, as Renda had performed a mean trick by stating that if they were safe for now, but if they lost the next challenge, they would not only vote someone off, but he would pull the biggest prank ever on them.

**CONFESSION CAM**

"We're already done with the first challenge, and we won! Plus, we made a pretty sweet hot tub thanks to our team leader!" Trent said. "You go, man!"

_STATIC_

"I gotta say, nice work, Rainbow Eyes. You did good out there." Duncan said.

_STATIC_

"I'm glad we were able to get the challenge done. And since we won thanks to Aaron, we have an awesome hot tub to party in for the rest of the summer!" Bridgette exclaimed.

_STATIC_

"...What? You expect me to say something? Maybe gloat? Nah. I ain't gonna gloat. My team did well tonight. That's all I'm gonna say. Good job guys, you deserve this hot tub." Aaron said, waving a pocky stick around lazily as he spoke and pointing it at the camera with his last sentence.

_STATIC_

"Ughh, I just hate that Aaron person! I'm going to make sure he gets voted off early!" Heather raged.

**END CONFESSIONALS**

**Later that Night**

Aaron was meditating out on top of the cabin.

"Hey, guys where do you think Aaron is at right now? I mean, the dude could at least talk to us since he helped us win the challenge." DJ asked. Natsu yipped happily at the mention of Aaron.

"I don't know. Let Rainbow Eyes be. Now, how do we shut Dorkasaurus here up?" Duncan said. Howard was snoring. Aaron then decided to have some fun. He summoned a messenger wolf, and sent it into the cabin with a scroll.

"WOLF!" Courtney screamed.

"IT'S A WOLF!" Screamed Bridgette

"Wait, it's got a scroll in its mouth!"Duncan said.

"What the heck?" Harold said, as he had been miraculously woken up by the screaming.

"Let's check it out." DJ suggested.

"...It's from Rainbow Eyes!" Duncan remarked after looking at the scroll. The wolf, having done its job, disappeared in a puff of smoke.

"What's it say?"

"It says, 'a) I'm on the roof meditating, people. Sorry for not talking to you guys. I just need some time each night to meditate. b) Put some plugs up Harold's nose or in your ears before you go to sleep. And c) Can someone get me some pocky from my bag? I'm hungry. Truly yours, Aaron.' Ah, so Rainbow Eyes is 'ohming' up on the roof. Anyone see his bag?" Another scroll fell down the fireplace.

"There's another one!" Bridgette, the closest to it said. She walked over and read it.

"This one says 'Ah, screw it. I'll get the freakin' pocky myself. Once again, Aaron.' Well that was odd." Aaron then came in through the door and reached under his bed, pulling out a backpack filled with stuff needed for survival. That amounted to fifty miniature boxes of pocky, a compass, a telescope, a canteen, a couple of throwing knives, two bottles of 'Snow's Finest' sake, and a wolf whistle (as in a whistle that literally calls a wolf). He got out one box and went back onto the roof. But before he did, Geoff asked,

"Hey, dude, don't you need to sleep or something?" Aaron nodded, and said,

"I usually meditate for most of the night though. It's actually better than sleeping because one, it boosts your IQ, making challenges easier, two, it's like getting sleep, but you're aware of your surroundings, and three, it actually makes you feel better than a full night's sleep does. But I get a combination of the two so as to balance each other out. See ya'll in the morning." With that, he took off for the roof.

**Three More Days Later**

Chris walked beside the cabins, and blew an air horn into his megaphone, causing many reactions.

"Ow! It's seven in the mornin'!" Said Leshawna, who had banged her head on the upper bunk of her two. She walked over to the window.

"Do I LOOK like a farmer to you?"

**Time Skip**

Cody walked right beside Eva, who had punk music blaring from her MP3 player. Cody, being Cody, of course decided to try and push a button on the MP3 player, which resulted in his finger nearly getting bitten off by a mad cow. And by a mad cow, I of course mean Eva. (**Inner Jinso: Would you like some aloe vera? 'Cuz you just got burned, bitch!**)

"Good morning!" Chris said a little too cheerfully to the tired campers. Except Aaron, he didn't need that much sleep. As long as he got coffee, that is, which he did. Unfortunately, it had to be decaf, which tends to make Aaron a bit loopy come twenty hours or so after.

"Hope you slept well."

"Hi, Chris. You look really buff in those shorts." Heather said happily.

"I know. Ok, I hope you're all ready, because your next challenge begins in exactly _one minute_!"

"Oh, excuse me, but I don't know if that's enough time to eat breakfast." Owen commented. Some of the campers resisted the urge to make an obvious fat joke.

"Oh, you'll get breakfast, Owen...Right after you complete your twenty kilometer run around the lake!"

"Sadistic bastard...For them at least..." Aaron offhandedly said.

"Oh, so you're funny now? You know what I think would be funny?" Eva snarled, ready to pound Chris six feet under. Owen and Leshawna held the raging girl back.

"Eva! Try to control your temper!" Heather hissed.

"You're enjoying this, aren't you!" Eva asked.

"A little." Our favorite bastard of a host replied. "You have thirty seconds." He continued, pointing to his watch.

**CONFESSION CAM**

"Okay, that girl, Eva, has got to get a handle on her temper. She is seriously ruining this team." Heather said, manicuring her nails.

_STATIC_

"Hey, she was already p***ed about Cody trying to touch her MP3 player. I wouldn't blame her for getting made about that, though. My tunes are important to me, too. Wouldn't you get p***ed if someone tried to change your favorite song to a different one right at the good part? While I'm at it, why the f*** are you people censoring me?" Aaron said, polishing a throwing knife.

_STATIC_

**END CONFESSIONALS**

"Okay, runners!" Chris said, holding up a pistol.

"On your marks...get set...GO!" Everyone ran off, except for Aaron, who walked.

"Dude, why are you walking?" Chris asked. Aaron simply smirked and disappeared in a black streak.

**Near the Mess Hall**

"I'm almost there!" Duncan said as he and Owen were neck and neck. Owen was only running fast for the food. Suddenly, Aaron came barreling towards them while running backwards. He had a bored expression on his face and his middle finger in the air. He was the first to get to the mess hall.

**Inside Said Hall of Messes**

Many of the contestants were there.

"CLEAR A TABLE, STAT!" Owen said, holding Noah over his shoulder. Aaron had waited just outside, and let them in first for a very good reason; mindfucks.

Owen laid Noah on a table and began pushing on his chest.

"Wait, we got here first, so that means...we won the challenge!" Katie pointed out. The Screaming Gophers stopped in their tracks and cheered, even Noah, who somehow woke up from his temporary coma.

"I don't think that was the challenge." Aaron said with a mischievous glint in his eye when everyone got there. Chris suddenly appeared beside a bunch of big purple curtains.

"He's right, you know."

"What did you just say?" Gwen asked.

"Who's...hungry?" He asked, the curtains opening to reveal a feast that made them all feel like they had been starved for a year.

**CONFESSION CAM**

"After a whole week of brown sludge, I almost cried when I saw that buffet." Gwen commented.

_STATIC_

"Eh, that's not much of a feast to me. Honestly, I catch my own food, and make a full meal out it, people. Of course it's not gonna look like a feast to me." Aaron said, pointing the throwing knife he had from before at the camera.

_STATIC_

"And then I saw it; the buffet table...It was beautiful...there was turkey, and Nanaimo bars, and baked beans, and maple syrup. Hagh...Can I have a minute? *sob* *sob*" Said Owen.

_STATIC_

**END CONFESSIONALS**

By then, everyone was full on food and very damn happy, as Chris announced the next portion of the challenge.

"Ok, campers, time for part two of your challenge!"

"I thought eating was the second part!" Owen exclaimed.

"What more do you want from us?" Gwen asked.

"Weird goth girl is right. Haven't we been through enough?" Heather asked the host.

"Umm...Let me think about that...NO! It's time for...THE AWAKE-A-THON!"

"The _WHAT_-a-thon?" Owen then questioned.

"Don't worry! This is an easy one! The team with the last camper left standing wins invincibility!"

"So, what you're saying is that the 20k run and the turkey-eating frenzy were part of your evil plan to make it harder for us to stay awake?" Gwen asked.

"That's right, Gwen!"

"Man, he's good."

"Gotta admit, it's a damn good plan." Aaron said casually.

"MOVE, MOVE, MOVE!"

**Twelve Hours Later**

Everyone was sitting around a campfire, looking like a flock of bats had run them over escaping from hell. Aaron was just leaning against the rock face.

**24 Hour Mark**

"Time to kick it up a notch...with fairy tales!" Chris said. Renda was floating above, levitating cups of sleeping powder around himself and giggling like a man in a straitjacket quietly. As Chris read a horrible story with no plot whatsoever, Renda quietly started dumping miniscule bits of sleeping powder on random campers. Tyler screamed for what looked like no apparent reason, which Aaron just contributed to partial insomnia-induced hallucinations. He felt some sleeping powder spill onto him, and asked Renda mentally '_You remember that I'm immune to all chemical weapons, right?_'

**48 Hours Later**

Pretty soon, there were few contestants left, and Gwen and Trent were watching Justin.

"Look at him! He's been like a statue for fifty hours! Just look at the concentration. Justin! Justin!" Gwen called, while Trent kept repeating "Yip. Yip. Yip-Yip-Yip-Yip-Yip." And flailing his arms. Aaron snorted.

"Don't look at the concentration, look at the dry paint." He remarked bitterly. The decaf was fully committing its effect. Gwen inspected Justin's eyes closely and poked his face, waking the teen up.

"He's right!"

"You _just_ figured that out?" Aaron again said in a bitter tone.

"Hey, what crawled up your butt and died?"

"I had coffee TWO days ago, none since, and it was fucking DECAF. I literally need my morning caffeinated coffee in order to remain happy and/or joking. Otherwise, if I don't have it for too long, I go insane and start wrecking all the shit around me. Now let's focus on Mr. 'I'm Pretty and A Cheater Too'." The elf griped.

"Get out! Oh, I _gotta_ see this!" Chris said as he raced over. Inspecting the eyes, he said,

"That's pretty good, man, but you're out." Justin frowned and for a second glared at Aaron.

"Don't glare at me pretty boy. Otherwise, I'll fucking wreck your pretty little face so bad it'll give new meaning to the phrase 'a face only a mother could love' and when I say 'a mother', I mean a momma T-Rex!" Aaron snarled for pretty much the first time in his life when he wasn't facing someone he utterly hated.

"Dude, you just got burned!" Duncan said with a couple of sniggers.

**A While Later (Can't remember how much time, don't give a damn about how much time)**

Gwen, Duncan, and Aaron were the last three left. And so, Duncan went to go take a shit and fell asleep.

"Well, it seems Duncan's taken a dive on the can! That leaves Aaron and—wait! And...Gwen has passed out! Aaron has won it for the Thundering Dragons!"

"WOOHOO!" The team cheered, leaving Heather furious.

"Now, Chris..." Aaron began, a dark aura shadowing his body.

"If you ever deprive me of my coffee again for more than two hours, AND give me decaf instead, you'll find some very important body parts missing. GOT IT?" The host shrank back.

"G-Got it." Aaron's personality then did a 180.

"Great! Time to go get some coffee!" He then Kuro Hirashin (Black Flying Thunder God)'d off to get his divine nectar, so to speak.

"Ok, campers, before he gets back, I just wanna ask, who wants to never keep the coffee away from him again?" Everyone raised their hands.

"Ok, it's unanimous. Always let the psycho ninja have his coffee."

**2 Days Later**

Now the Gophers had not apparently lost anyone, as Renda had pulled a hat trick on them.

"Ok people! It's time for the age-old game of dodgeball!"

"FUCK YES!" Aaron let out an outburst of joy. A black flame grew around him, his eyes grew red, his teeth grew sharp, and the elf began rubbing his hands together evilly.

"Anyone else see the black fire around him?" Duncan asked, pointing to said flame.

**CONFESSION CAM**

"Yeah, I just did an anime thing. You see, I love dodgeball. I was a pariah back in my younger days, so I took my revenge in a competitive, school-approved way; kicking their a**es in dodgeball." Aaron told the camera, pounding his fist into his hand when he said the last sentence.

_STATIC_

**END CONFESSIONALS**

"Ok, backing away from the topic of Aaron being fireproof or something, teams, this challenge is divided into five games of dodgeball. The team that wins the most games out of five wins the challenge and the losers...will be voting someone off! So pick four players for each team, and we'll begin the games!"

**Time Skip to: Round 1**

Heather, Owen, Cody, and Eva were the players for the Screaming Gophers, and Aaron, Geoff, Gwen, and Izzy were the players for the Thundering Dragons.

"Let's play some dodgeball!" Chris said after Chef blew his whistle. Aaron ran forward lightning fast and scooped up a ball. He then jumped in the air, and sent it hurtling at Cody. The rubber ball smacked him in the face, leaving a nasty bruise and also sending him flying into the glass KO'd. Aaron then cracked his knuckles and turned to his team.

"Toss me all the dodgeballs one by one; I've got a plan." The team nodded, and Aaron began spinning his arms rapidly in a circle, effectively making them each like buzzsaws. One ball was tossed into his spinning arms, and Eva was out like a light. Another came, and then Owen was out. Heather was the only one left, and she was profusely sweating. One last ball fell into the spinning traps, and it rocketed towards Heather, knocking a tooth out.

"And the first game goes to the Thundering Dragons!" Before the next one started, Aaron asked,

"Hey, Chris, do we have to _only_ use our hands?" The host thought for a moment. Normal dodgeball _was_ only played with your hands. Some fancy tricks could milk the audience for ratings, though. Renda whispered his thoughts in Chris's ear, and apparently it was enough to make the host grin.

"You can use any part of your body for this challenge." He said as he made his final decision with a cackle.

**Round 2**

The Thundering Dragons had made an extreme decision, having sent Aaron out as a one-man team.

"Uh, guys, you're supposed to send out four people." Chris remarked. Aaron made a hand sign that is universally known to all Naruto fans, and three others of him poofed into existence.

"Um...I'm not even gonna ask."

The players for the Screaming Gophers were now Leshawna, Justin, Sadie, and Katie.

"Round 2, begin!" The four Screaming Gophers took the dodgeballs and tossed them at Aaron, who fluidly swerved and slid around and beneath them to dodge, leaving all the balls on his side. Grinning, the elf got into a taekwondo horse stance and tossed a ball high into the air. When it came back down, he spun and used a tornado kick to drive it straight into Justin's face. This earned a collective wince from the people who weren't participating, and wide eyes from those who were. Another boulder then fell down on him, with the message "_That was so hot, Aaron-kun! –Kami-chan_" written on it. Aaron settled back into a horse stance and smirked sadistically at the remaining Gophers.

One KB slammed his right foot into the ground, causing the earth to shift a little, and sending the ball up high. The original then reared his leg back and shot the ball forward with a side kick. The rubber sphere crashed into Sadie's stomach and knocked her out. With the next ball, one of the literal power juggernaut's clones snap kicked it into the air, and Aaron then punched it straight into Katie's face, sending her down as well. With Leshawna being the only one left standing, said girl sweated and looked around nervously. The last clone charged raiton chakra into the ball, making it spark, and threw it to Aaron, who sent it flying after Leshawna. She ran around screaming while the ball chased her like Pac-Man. Finally, it slammed into her back and knocked her on the ground.

"Round 2 goes to the Thundering Dragons!" Said team cheered.

"New stipulation; Aaron, you must sit out for the next two games!" Renda then announced, leveling the playing field. The Dragons groaned as Aaron sat on the bench begrudgingly.

**Round 3**

Courtney, DJ, Gwen, and Tyler went in for the Dragons, and quickly lost due to Owen's throwing skills, which were accompanied by a cry of "GREAT GATSBY, THAT IS IT!"

"Round 3 goes to the Screaming Gophers!"

**Round 4**

Now Harold, Duncan, Izzy, and Geoff were the players for this round. And even with Duncan on the team, they somehow got beaten by Owen again.

**Round 5**

"I'M GETTING BACK IN MOTHAFUCKAS!" Aaron shouted. The whistle blew, and he immediately stomped on the ground and shot up a dodgeball, roundhouse kicking it straight into Heather once more, knocking out one of her teeth AND giving her a black eye.

"TAKE THAT, YOU SKINNY BITCH!" Aaron turned to his team.

"I am possibly pockyhigh right now, so please ignore my outbursts." He said, catching a ball, which resulted in Eva getting out, and throwing it at Cody and hitting him straight in the 'nads while he wasn't even looking.

"Did you guys get that on camera?" Chris asked in a uproar of laughter. An up-and-down motion of the screen suggested a nod. Aaron was with Duncan, DJ, and Gwen. The Screaming Gophers had just Owen left. There were three balls on the ground near Owen. The portly blonde picked them up, and by sheer luck, got everyone besides Aaron out. It was now down to one-on-one sudden death. Aaron grinned and took out a suppression seal.

"Owen, I'm gonna make this fair." The elf said. He slapped it onto his own arm, and Aaron's power dropped to 2%. Now that may seem completely absurd, but 2% of Aaron's power was about the same as a cheetah on about 20 steroids and not dying.

"I am now down to 2% of my full capabilities. Take your shot." Everyone gasped.

"What is wrong with you, dude? You're givin' him a free pass to win!" Geoff shouted. Aaron's smirk merely grew. Owen grabbed a dodgeball with a winning smirk, and threw it. Everything turned to slow motion. The Thundering Dragons were staring in disbelief. The Screaming Gophers were cheering. Rubber met skin as Aaron's head jerked back in collision with the ball. Thinking the game was over, Chris was about to declare the Screaming Gophers as the winners, but he stopped for a very good reason. The ball WASN'T MOVING from Aaron's face.

Everyone stared as Aaron lifted his head. The Screaming Gophers stared in shock, the Thundering Dragons stared in awe, and the viewers all stared in a complete and utter state of unanimous "WTF?"s.

The ball was caught DIRECTLY between Aaron's teeth.

"The winners by an amazing catch: THE THUNDERING DRAGONS!" Owen fell to his knees in shock. Heather ground her teeth together.

"They can't have won! He didn't catch it with his hands!" She raged. Chris was about to explain, but then Aaron butted in.

"Ah, ah, ah. I specifically asked after Round 1 'Do we _only_ have to use our hands for this challenge?' And Chris said that we can use any part of our bodies. Seeing as how he didn't specify catching _not_ being a part of that, I used my teeth, _a part of my body_, to catch the ball. Thus, it was allowed." And smart-ass logic scores another point.

**3 Days Later**

Now it was Noah who had been voted off due to his snarky comments and know-it-all attitude.

"Oh, this is so _bad_! I'm out of fake tanner already!" Lindsay exclaimed.

"Whoa, that's _tragic_, Lindsay." An irritated and bed-head-ridden Gwen replied.

"I know, right? This means I'll have to actually, like, suntan. _In the sun_! Do you realize how shriveled and wrinkly that can make your skin?" Lindsay ran over to check Gwen.

"Oh, you totally do..." The loudspeakers then blared, and Chris's voice came up.

"Alright, campers, enough beauty sleep! Time to show us _what you're made of_!" He announced. Aaron shunshined right outside the cabin, already in his regular clothes, and ran to the woods to catch a quick breakfast.

**Time Skip**

Now everyone was sitting outside an amphitheatre.

"Are we gonna see a musical? I love musicals, especially ones with singing and dancing!" Lindsay said in a ditzy tone.

"Gwen! Saved you a seat." Trent called, patting the part of the bench right next to him. Aaron simply leaned back up high in the branch of a tree.

"Hey, Mr. Ninja! Why don't you come down here and be social?" Heather called mockingly.

"That'll happen when either A) Chris is about to announce our challenge, or B) You shut the hell up and leave me the fuck alone." Aaron called back down, not even bothering to look in her direction. Then, sensing Chris walking towards the front of stage, which was signified by a twitch of his long ears, Aaron merely shunshined to right beside Izzy, already leaning back on the row behind him. Just after that, Chris walked out on the stage.

"Welcome to our brand new, deluxe, state-of-the-art, outdoor amphitheatre. Ok, this week's challenge is a summer camp favorite—a talent contest!"

"Yes! Awesome!" Owen cheered, pointing directly at Chris with both hands.

"Each team has eight hours to pick their three most talented campers. These three will represent them in the show tonight. Sing, dance, juggle, anything goes! So long as it's legal." Chris finished, making an "I'm watching you" motion at Duncan, who snapped his fingers in anger.

"You'll be judged by our resident talent scout, former DJ, BJ, and rap legend, Grand Master Chef, who will show his approval via the Chef-O-Meter. The team that loses will send one camper home _tonight_! Good luck!" Chris then walked off with a wave.

**With the Dragons**

Katie and Sadie were practicing a horrible dance routine that made everyone gawk. It was just...there are no words in any language to describe just how gruesome it was. Tyler got tied up in his own yoyo as Chris was walking by.

"Man, that is weak." The host commented. Aaron gave a snort.

"Back where I come from, failing at that is the equivalent of being a literal pile of shit. You stink up the place and eventually get dumped somewhere else." He said. DJ then did a very girly ribbon...dance...thing. Everyone clapped, and Aaron just didn't comment because he didn't want to hurt the big guy's feelings.

"Next!" Courtney said.

"Me! I can stand on my hands for twenty minutes!" Bridgette remarked. Then she stood up on her hands and held herself there.

"Ok, that'd be cute if you were a monkey. I just don't think it's quite what we're looking for." Miss CIT then told her.

"Next!" Harold walked out, took a breath in, and was stopped.

"Next."

"Awwwww." Geoff skateboarded off a small hill and stopped on a stump, catching his board in midair and receiving cheers.

Trent then practiced his guitar, earning many cries of joy.

"Well, I guess it's Trent, DJ's ribbon thing, and your solo." Bridgette said to Courtney.

**At the Amphitheatre**

Geoff was checking his skateboard's wheels while Courtney practiced her violin.

"So can you really stand on your hands for twenty minutes?" He asked Bridgette.

"Wanna bet that I can't?" She asked, waving a chocolate bar.

"Oh, you're on!" Geoff replied.

"I'll take a piece of that action!" Harold said.

"Yeah, that's like virtually impossible." DJ chimed in.

"Ante up."

**Extremely Short Time Skip**

Various things were placed as bets against Bridgette. Aaron and Courtney were the only ones who didn't bet. Aaron didn't because he knew it was possible, as he had done it himself, and Courtney was still playing her violin.

"Okay, twenty minutes, starting...now." Bridgette got on her hands and began moving about, catching a rope on her leg, and accidentally pulling a little bit too much.

**WHISTLE**

**CRASH!**

"Oh, crap!" Bridgette exclaimed.

**Another Extremely Short Time Skip**

Courtney had bandages around her head, and was nursing her broken violin.

"You...you _killed_ my violin!" she said uneasily.

"I didn't mean to! There must be something we can do!" Bridgette said, grabbing the violin. Unfortunately, she just made it worse. And then Aaron walked over.

"Well, I can fix it, but it'll be at least a day before it's fully repaired." He mused with a hand to his chin.

"Really? You could?" Courtney asked, still crying.

"Yes, but there is a price. All it is is that you have to forgive Bridgette." He replied.

"She didn't mean to break the violin, and she was only trying to prove that she could stand on her hands for twenty minutes. I know it was a special gift, but it was just an accident. Forgive her, and I'll start on it right after the talent show."

"Fine...*sniff*...I forgive you, Bridgette."

**Time Skip to: Talent Show**

First up was the Justin for the Screaming Gophers.

And of course, he merely poured water on himself for a bishi effect, thus getting another boulder dropped on him. This one said "_Get over yourself! Aaron-kun is much hotter! –Kami-chan_" The camera turned to Aaron, and he merely said,

"1) Kami is the ruler of heaven in Japanese mythology, and she's a woman, and 2) if I told you about it, you'd crap golden bricks."

The Chef-O-Meter then showed a score of six/nine.

"First for the Thundering Dragons is DJ!" and thus, DJ performed his little ribbon dance.

"Danty, and yet masculine. Let's see what Grand Master Chef thinks." DJ got a 2/9.

"Not much." DJ sulked off and went to find Natsu.

"Next for the Screaming Gophers, who are screaming ahead, it's Owen!" The fa—er, _big-boned_ boy walked out with a jug of pop. He then chugged it and burped the alphabet.

"Whoa, that was awesome!" Chris shouted.

"Let's see what the Grand Master thinks of that!" Owen got an 8/9.

"Dang! Well, next for the Thundering Dragons, who are utterly sucking right now, it's Trent!" Trent then walked up with a guitar that had been somehow mostly destroyed by Owen when the kid accidentally stomped on the strings when he got back up and went to the bathroom after offering to fart Beethoven's Fifth.

"Ooh, that guitar's lookin' a little out of shape." Chris said. Trent tried to play his incredible and mushy love song, but the screeching from the broken guitar only served to earn them a four. Why? Because it was more masculine than DJ's ribbon thing. Heather then got on stage.

"You know, I was going to do some ballet, but I thought I'd do a little _reading_ instead." Heather smirked, pulling out Gwen's diary. Said goth's eyes widened in horror. Heather then read an extremely embarrassing passage, and Gwen ran out.

"Well, we're down to the final act of the night. Can Geoff and his rad stunts turn this around? I seriously doubt it." Of course, the boarder had somehow split his skateboard in two at that moment. Courtney and Bridgette were flipping out. Who could they chose for their team? Then they saw Aaron leaning against a tree and realized that they had never seen what he could do. So they sent him out.

"Okay, apparently it's Aaron for the Thundering Dragons. Let's see what you got!" Aaron had Renda get up on the stage, spoke to him mentally, and both got into different fighting stances.

"Lesson One: Taijutsu!" The two went into a flurry of attacks against each other. Aaron and Renda were moving so fast that their entire fight was simply a blur. Punches were thrown, kicks were shot out, and there was even a couple of headbutts.

"Lesson Two: Ninjutsu!" Renda ran through hand signs at the same time Aaron did. Despite not being a shinobi, Renda learned quite a few techniques from those he had corrupted.

"**Suiton: Teppodama!** (Water Release: Bullet)" A massive bullet of water erupted from Renda's mouth.

"**Katon: Goukakyu no Jutsu!**" A giant fireball came from Aaron.

The result? Steam, and lots of it. Suddenly, out of the steam came Aaron, with his arm coated in crackling fire.

"**Ookamiunari!** (Wolf's Howl)" And the jutsu did indeed sound like a wolf howling. The fire even morphed into a wolf's head.

"**Suiton: Suijinheki!**" A wall of water sprung up in front of Renda, forcing Aaron to flipkick and land opposite of him.

"Lesson Three: Last Resorts!"

Aaron held his right arm down with his left hand, and storm clouds began to gather above. Meanwhile, flames began to dance around Renda. Aaron and Rend both began running forward towards each other, calling out their techniques.

"**Ennetsujigoku!** (Flames of Hell)" The flames all latched onto Renda's right arm, and formed a ninjato of solidified fire on the black of the darkness god's hand.

"**Gekijou no Arashi!** (Fury of the Storm)" A lightning bolt leapt down from the sky and zapped Aaron's hand, creating a broadsword of pure, solidified electricity to form from the back of it. Arcs of electricity leaped across the blade every now and then. The two jumped up, letting out a simultaneous,

"**Let's Go!**" The blades clashed, sending sparks of bright light out from the stage. When enough had been done, Aaron kicked Renda back and jumped up high. He then turned his broadsword downwards, and began falling. The electric blade slammed into the amphitheatre stage and enveloped everything in a bright light. When all was visible, the stage was in flames, and Aaron and Renda were across from each other, panting lightly.

"And that...is how you do shit." Aaron said with a great one-liner.

Everyone was simply staring in shock and awe. Chris snapped out of it, and said,

"Well, let's see Grand Master Chef's opinion on that display of awesomeness." The meter appeared, and the bar shattered through one end, causing Chris to gape.

"I don't believe it! He BROKE the Chef-O-Meter! The Thundering Dragons win the challenge hands down! And MAN, the Screaming Gophers are getting their butts kicked out here!"

**CONFESSION CAM**

"I can't believe it! Four wins in a row! Our leader rocks!" Trent cheered.

_STATIC_

"I. HATE. HIM!" Heather screamed.

_STATIC_

"F***, that girl Heather can rage! I'm still cleaning my ears of debris!" Aaron said, twisting his pinky finger into his left ear for effect.

"But, anyways, you know that little bit of bada**ery I performed? Yeah, I just wanna say...it's common for me." He then said with a smirk.

**END CONFESSIONALS**

List of Running Jokes

-Whenever something happens to Justin, or Justin tries to outdo Aaron in the looks department, Kami will drop a boulder on him, usually with a message that will say that Aaron is hotter.

-Aaron will constantly use smartass logic to take advantage of any and all loopholes in the challenge instructions so as to stop Heather's arguements.

-Duncan will get hit with a medium-sized rock whenever he does something that annoys Aaron, and it will usually be in either the groin or the face.

**Jinso: That is the end of Chapter 21!**

**Aaron: I must say, you've outdone yourself Jinso. 8,430 words flat typed in less than a day!**

**Jinso: I know, right? The only reason I hadn't released this chapter just yet is because I was also working on Chapter 22, which will be out today!**

**Aaron: I'm back in the show!**

**Jinso: That you are. But seriously, though. We need to stop the banning of M-rated fics. Petition now! Ja Ne!**


	23. The Epic Finale!

**Jinso: Yo, what's up everyone? It's the one and only Jinso-kun here, and it's time for Chapter 22!**

**Aaron: Let's go! I wanna kick some ass!**

**Jinso: Heel, dog! We ain't doing that just yet.**

**Aaron: Fine. Asshole...**

**Jinso: Hey, I may be a bastard, an asshole, insane, and just plain fucked up, but I ain't the kind of author that makes it so nobody can win against a single character.**

**Aaron: Whatever...**

**Jinso: Anyways, let's get on with the chapter!**

COFB Chapter 22- The Epic Finale!

**Once Again, 3 Days Later**

Chris had gotten them all up and announced that their next challenge was to spend the night alone in the woods.

"We're gonna spend the night...alone...in the _woods_?" Aaron asked with a raised eyebrow.

"You bet!" The elf shrugged.

"'Kay, then."

"Now then, everyone take a map and find your own campsite. But be careful, 'cuz you might never come back! Also, watch out for bears! We lost a few interns in pre-production because of them!" The host then cackled mischievously. Aaron grabbed a map and a compass and led his team off.

**Confession Cam**

"Is he _really_ making us spend the night alone in the woods?" Bridgette asked, biting a nail.

_STATIC_

**End Confessionals**

So by now, the two teams had gotten to their campsite, and Aaron was studying a couple of trees carefully.

"Hey, why are you looking at trees? You should be helping us set up the tent." Courtney berated. Aaron held up a finger, telling her to hold on for one moment. He then turned around.

"I was just looking for cameras. Don't want anyone to see me take a piss, now do I?" The elf asked. He then walked back to the group and created a few KBs. Within a minute, the tent and fire were set up.

"Now all we need is food." Geoff said, looking around. Aaron nodded, and replied,

"I'll be back in a few minutes." With that, he leapt off into the trees. He came back with fish hanging off both of his arms, and Izzy grabbed one, taking a bite out of it. She then sheepishly scratched her head and made a comment about how she probably should have waited until they were cooked. The smell of steaming fish soon filled the air above their camp. But suddenly, multiple screams were heard.

"That's the Gophers. Something's up." He said.

"Everyone stay here. I'm willing to bet that they just met a bear."

**At the Gopher Camp**

All the Gophers were stuck up in a tree, while a bear began prodding their meal.

"Hey, that's our food, you stupid bear!" Heather yelled. The bear looked up and roared at them.

"Okay, you can have it." She squeaked. Almost immediately, a cry of "Back off!" rang out in their clearing. The Gophers look and saw Aaron. The elf then let out a blurb of bear speak and began communicating.

'_Why'd you yell at me?_' It asked.

'_I thought you were hurting those campers up in that tree. Sorry. No hard feelings?_'

'_No hard feelings. See you later._' It then walked away. The Gophers got down from their tree.

"You're welcome." Aaron said as he just walked back to his team.

**Timeskip**

The Bass had made it back first, due to Aaron just using his Kuro Hiraishin to warp them back. Thus, another camper was voted from the Gophers, and this time, it was Eva.

**Timeskip Again**

Everyone was gathered around a campfire, spilling their deepest fears. Here's a list:

Izzy & Owen: Flying

Trent: Mimes

Heather: Sumo Wrestlers

Gwen: Being buried alive

Cody: Defusing a time bomb under pressure

Leshawna: Spiders

Harold: Ninjas (He kept looking cautiously at Aaron)

Lindsay: Bad Haircuts

Sadie & Katie: Being alone without each other

DJ: Snakes

Duncan: Celine Dion music store standees

Courtney: She wouldn't say, but Aaron (and the cameras) saw her reaction to the green gelatin

Geoff: Hail

Beth: Being covered in bugs

Tyler: Chickens

**Confession Cam**

"Beth kept going on and on about how her mortal fear is being covered in bugs." Gwen said with a bored look.

_STATIC_

Aaron just watched the camera for a few seconds before bursting into laughter.

"Ha! Queen McB****y is afraid of sumo wrestlers! That's bulls***!"

_STATIC_

**End Confessionals**

"So what are you afraid of, Mr. Big, Tough Ninja?" Heather asked in a mocking tone. Aaron merely flipped her off without even sparing her a glance.

"I have just about no fear whatsoever. Life's too short to fear something." He replied in a laid-back way.

"Oh, really? Got any family?" The brunette replied. Aaron paused for a moment before activating his Mangekyo Sharingan. He then glared at Heather.

"Bitch, you don't wanna go there, 'cuz if you do, I'll hang you by the loud speaker in nothing but your underwear with the words 'I'm a virgin' painted on your forehead." He snarled. Deactivating his Mangekyo, he laid back against a rock wall.

"What...the heck was that eye thing?" Gwen asked as everyone looked at the elf.

"Dojutsu." He muttered.

"'Eye Technique'?" Heather asked.

"Oh, goody, you're actually of _some_ use! I can bet that your team will win if they're ever in need of a Japanese translator!" He mocked.

"But, then again...I have spoken perfect Japanese since the day I was born, so, I think my team will actually be the ones to win." The elf then glared at Heather, releasing a bit of KI. While it was nowhere near enough to even make Aaron blink, it did make everyone there almost vomit, and they would have, had he not canceled the flow of it almost immediately.

"But, yes, as Queen Bitch over there stated, it is a literal eye technique, belonging to only those of my family, as our coveted secret. However, it made my family very prideful in ourselves..._Too_ prideful...Anyways, I have only one fear in the world, and that is losing my precious people and fellow good souls. Everything else is but a nuisance."

"What about a mad killer (LOL, reference to later chapter)? Or a giant shark? Or an anaconda?" Certain fears were listed off.

"They are nothing. If you were a trained warrior, you'd see not an arrogant man in these eyes, but a fierce, determined leader who's been through hell and back, and is still kicking. And I'm not exaggerating about the hell part." Getting up and flipping off a hidden camera, Aaron said,

"I'm going to sleep. Do not bother me, for I am not in the mood." With that, he walked back to his cabin. Almost immediately, Heather got up, and said,

"C'mon Lindsay." The blonde got up, and Trent asked,

"Where are you two going?"

"Oh, just back to our cabin to get some sleep." Heather lied. When Trent shrugged, the two went to gather materials for a prank Heather had thought up.

"But isn't this wrong? Adam hasn't done anything to you." Lindsay asked, getting Aaron's name wrong.

"It's not wrong if you're doing it for a right cause." Heather replied, holding a bucket of tree sap. Lindsay was holding a pail of feathers. Heather made a 'shush' motion with her hand, and opened the Dragons' cabin door to see Aaron asleep on a bunk, facing the wall. They both crept in and got above Aaron, with Heather ready to pour the sap on him. But suddenly, a feminine, tan-skinned hand shot out and grabbed Heather's. The owner of said hand got up to reveal Akahana, who was looking pissed as ever.

"Just what do you think you're doing to Aaron-kun?" She hissed. The elf in question rolled over.

"Aka-chan, what the hell's going...oh." He then narrowed his eyes.

"I thought I told you to stay the hell away from me while I slept...(yawn)..._Heather_." Aaron growled out. He then turned to Lindsay.

"Lindsay-san, you can go. But don't listen to Heather anymore, as she is like a evil sibyl; the more you hang around her, the more you fall into her control. She will only use you to get to the finals." Aaron then pulled a snow-white pistol out with the kanji for "Knock-Out" on it.

"Now, _Heather_, if you don't leave so I can sleep, you'll be saying hello to my friend, Somnus. So...**Get. Out.**" Aaron told her, adding a bit of youki to his voice to make it more demonic sounding. This frightened the two away as they left the cabin. Everyone was walking back to the cabins when they saw the two girls screaming.

"What happened? What'd you see?" Geoff asked. The two merely stuttered out "A-A-Aar-Aaron" before running away again.

"What happened with Aaron?" Trent asked, worried for his bro. Everyone walked to the Dragons' cabin to see a sign on the door.

**The Neimuryū is gone for now...Seek him in the woods...**

"Neigh-moo-rye-ooh? What's that?" Cody asked. A note appeared below it.

**Neimuryū means 'Sleeping Dragon'**

"How convenient."

"Well, let's go to the woods."

**In the Woods**

As the full moon lit a clearing, Aaron was standing in the middle of it, with Shinriken drawn, and 10,000 Raito Bunshin in front of him. The elf got into a kenjutsu stance, and the clones charged. Gracefully, he began cutting them down, as though he were dancing instead of fighting. Flashes of light began appearing as many a Raito Bunshin dispelled. Akahana was sitting on a fallen log, watching her husband.

About 5,000 Bunshin later, Aaron's shirt was nearly torn to pieces.

"Damn...it feels a bit too warm out tonight. Stupid friggin' heat..." The elf muttered as he threw off his shirt.

"Okay, fellas! Back in!" As he continued, Aaron was unaware that he was being watched by someone or some people other than Akahana, and in amazement too.

**With Akahana**

"So, have you all come to watch Aaron-kun? He's quite amazing, isn't he?" The kitsune asked.

"Who are you?" Cody tried to ask in a suave tone. This girl was hot!

"Oh please, don't even try to flirt with me. I'm already taken." Akahana scoffed. She had a genjutsu cast over her own fox ears and tails so as not to freak anyone out. Cody then went over beside a random log and began poking the ground with a stick that he seemed to have literally pulled out of his ass.

"But as to that moronic boy's question, my name is Akahana, and I'm one of Aaron-kun's..._close friends_..." She said with a giggle. Close, _indeed_...

"Just look at his form, his movements; they're perfect." The demon gushed as she watched her husband train. Just as she finished her sentence, Aaron had annihilated all his clones, and finished with a side sweep of Shinriken.

"So whatd'ya think, Aka-cha—hey, what're you guys doing here?" The elf asked happily.

"Something happened with Heather and Lindsay. You have any idea?" Trent asked him.

"Let's just say...I don't like it when people try to prank me in my sleep." The elf said in a bit of a heavier tone. He then sheathed Shinriken.

"But that's a whole different conversation from this one." Aaron sat down on a log and looked up at the moon.

"It's a beautiful night out, isn't it? The full moon's straight above us, and the stars are out...Reminds me of a story I know by heart..." Aaron whispered, but he was apparently heard by the campers.

"What story?"

"Sit down and I'll tell you all." The campers all proceeded to sit around a campfire that Aaron had made.

A mystical and flittering tune began sounding in the background.

_**In the beginning, there was nothing...the universe was a vacuum of pure energy...**_

In the fire, the campers could see glimmering specks of energy floating around in an endless void.

_**All that existed was nothing...Nothing...but the energy...**_

_**The energy that was the universe had two sides, positive and negative; right and wrong; good and evil...**_

Another image appeared in the fire; one of white and black specks in the empty, gray space.

_**The positive and negative energies of the universe each had a collective mind, but both were of different opinions...**_

_**At one point in an endless time, the positive energies decided to create a deity from themselves to rule over all the universe, so as to be spared from loneliness...**_

Now the white specks could be seen melding together, forming the shape of a person.

_**They created Illyon...The Sun...The Creator...Life Itself...**_

Now the white shape began revealing itself to be a golden-haired man with silver eyes, and the fairest of skins. He had on bear furs as a shawl, and wore moccasins on his feet.

_**He was the most powerful being in the universe, capable of taking a galaxy out of existence with but a blink of His silver eyes...But Illyon was not a ruthless being...Instead, He was a kindhearted and mighty warrior, who always gave thanks for a hunt, and would only give punishment if He saw fit...**_

_**He scoured the universe, searching for any other beings, but there were none to be found...**_

_**Thus, Illyon cast His spirit out, and formed the planets, the stars, the winds, and the animals...**_

Illyon was seen shoving his arms outwards as a green glow exited from them, forming planets and stars and suns.

_**But He was still lonely, as there existed no other people...So Illyon found the fairest of female animals, a golden-antlered gazelle...and He took a small piece from one of Her horns...**_

A golden-antlered gazelle was seen with a small chunk being taken out of her right horn.

_**He formed the antler piece into a woman: Ischeranka...The Sky...And She was His bride...**_

The piece took shape and was revealed as a beautiful woman of fair skin, with glowing blue tattoos on her flawless body. She wore a leopard fur shawl and pleated skirt, and her shining sky blue hair cascaded down her back. Ischeranka was barefoot, with a bronze anklet around her right ankle.

_**But the two were still lonely, even though they had each other...So Illyon and Ischeranka had a child...Ril...the Goddess of Time...From then on, all things flowed in an order; the creatures moved, the plants grew, and the day turned to night...**_

A beautiful woman was shown next to Ischeranka and Illyon. The woman had long, silver hair, amber eyes, fair skin—as almost all gods and goddesses did—which gleamed in any light, and a silver marking on her back that looked like a gear with flames in its hollow middle ring.

_**Even still, the three were quite lonely...Thus, Illyon branched out His, Ischeranka's, and Ril's collective spirits, and created the first denizens of the universe: The Spirits...**_

The three were seen holding their arms out, and multiple wispy-bodied spirits began appearing.

_**The Spirits eventually had borne the first people: elves...The elves were the children of nature itself, in sync with the world, and the friends of all creatures...**_

The fire then showed them a bunch of elves in a small village, the children playing with various animals.

_**The elves were immortal in the sense that they could not die of old age...but the gods did not want to see the same people for eternity...So Illyon took one of a elven man's ribs, and one of a elven woman's ribs, and created the first humans...**_

A regular man and woman were then shown with leaves covering their private parts.

_**The humans and elves were Illyon's people, and He was benevolent to all...**_

_**Illyon ruled with a noble heart and a wise mind...And the elves and humans began to worship him as their main god, in a religion all its own...**_

_**This religion was the only one the elves and humans knew at the time...**_

_**However...**_

_**There was another powerful god, who was Illyon's exact opposite...He was the god of darkness...of Evil...of Hell...**_

A picture of a glowing yellow face with a maniacal smile appeared in the middle of the fire, and scarlet flames and crimson rocks appeared behind it. This was a picture of Hell.

_**This god's name had no way of being spoken in the human language, but the elves simply called Him Nox, for He was like a poison of their minds...**_

_**Nox was made from the negative energies of the universe, which had seen what the positive energies did, and decided to create their own deity as well...But this deity was one which would begin the Age of Chaos...**_

The black specks were seen coming together and forming a man with pitch-black skin, blood red eyes, sharp, demonic teeth (think of Venom from Spiderman), sickly yellow markings on his skin, and toxic green hair.

_**Nox was all that was evil...He poisoned the minds of humans, but could not harm the elves, for the elves were imbued with energy from Illyon, as were the Spirits that made them...The humans were not, as the first man and woman were created from two elves' rib bones, thus, the energy in them was filtered out, leaving barely even a molecule left in them...**_

_**The humans lived on a planet that came to be known by them as Earth, but the elves called it Ihou...the Foreign Country...**_

_**The elves lived on a large planet known as Ra'drith, a word in their language which meant 'The Land of Prosperity'...On Ra'drith, all plants grew...the water was the freshest...and the rain always poured gently...**_

_**Other gods and goddesses stemmed from the environment that Ra'drith had...The children of the elves named the Moon god 'Tsukiotoko', or, 'Moon Man'...However, His true name as given by Illyon Himself was Osataio, which meant 'Push', and His bride was the sea, Osanike, 'Pull'...The god of storms was born when Ischeranka spilled water that She had drawn from a lake on Ra'drith...The water formed clouds, and thus, the storm god, Churei, was born...**_

_**Humanity no longer knows of the elven religion, however, as Nox corrupted them with false tales and myths...Nox brought about the Age of Chaos on Earth, and humanity fell into a self-fulfilling prophecy...**_

_**The bright rays of hope may still remain for humanity, but they are covered with the endless blanket of darkness and corruption that has fallen upon the humans...**_

With that, the flames grew with a powerful crackle, then dissipated into smoke, leaving the campfire empty. Aaron got up on his feet. He pulled out Shinriken.

"You guys see this sword?" He got a couple of nods.

"It is said that this sword was wielded by Illyon, and contains the power of the sun itself. Legend has it that only Illyon himself or someone with the same amount of power and purity as Illyon can use this sword in combat. But, it's just a myth." He then shrugged.

"Well, if that thing's so freakin' powerful, where'd you get it?" Duncan asked.

"Places." Aaron said casually.

"Well, I'm going to sleep. See you all tomorrow." Then the elf went back to bed with Akahana following behind. As everyone was still sitting at the campfire, Courtney piped up.

"Wait, didn't he say that only that Illyon person or someone as strong as him could wield the sword?"

"Yeah, now that you mention it, he did." DJ remarked.

"Who would be strong enough to equal the creator of the entire universe?"

"Well, back in that story, he said the elves and the spirits were the direct descendents of Illyon. But they wouldn't be nearly as strong as the guy himself."

"So that means that only that god could wield it..."

"Then..." Everyone let their jaws hit the ground.

"No...freakin'...way..." The hidden message was left there to hang in the air.

**Camera Viewing Tent**

By luck, Chris had seen the entire event of what Aaron had told the campers on camera, and what they had figured out.

"Holy crap...This is gonna boost the ratings SO much!"

**Timeskip**

All the campers were sitting in the mess hall.

"Hope you got a good sleep, campers, 'cuz it's time to play a little game I like to call "**Phobia Factor**"! Prepare to face your worst fears!" Chris announced.

"Worse...than _this_?" Leshawna asked, making a disgusted face at a weird-ass piece of meat.

"We're in trouble..." Gwen remarked.

"Let's see our first victims...Heather, meet us all in the amphitheatre, it's..._sumo time_!" Heather was currently drinking and proceeded to spit it out all over Trent, as she had been turned around.

"Gwen! You, me, the beach..._a few tons of sand_..." Gwen let out a gasp.

"Wait, how did they know that those were your worst fears?" Lindsay asked.

"We all said our fears at the campfire last night...That was practically telling them..." Aaron said.

"What? That's, like, eavesdropping!"

"It's a reality show, Einstein. They're _always_ watching." Gwen told her.

"Well, I'm not afraid. I didn't even say my fear!" Courtney said, trying to put up a 'tough guy' act.

"You forgot one thing—the cameras are always _watching_. You don't have to say something for them to notice what's going on." Aaron replied.

"Ahem! Aaron, you're going to a funeral, buddy!" A dozen kunai immediately pierced the wall right on the outline of Chris's clothes, hanging him there.

"Be careful what you say, 'cuz I got a thousand more where that came from." Aaron said, swinging another kunai on his left pinky.

"Uh, ok, but could you get me down? My hair's ruining!" Aaron flexed his right hand, and the kunai all retracted.

He then led the campers to a kiddy pool filled with worms. Beth then hopped in, and sunk. Then she came out with a mouthful of worms.

"Beth sets the bar way high." Lindsay was then forced to wear a hideous brown wig for the rest of the day.

Next, Owen and Izzy went up in the air with Chef Hatchet and were screaming their lungs out at all the fancy tricks and shit he was doing. When they got back down, both of the campers kissed the ground in happiness and relief.

Harold was taking a dump when three ninjas dropped from the ceiling. Instead of screaming like a bitch, Harold just pulled out a pair of nunchaku and began twirling them around with unknown skill, which surprised the ninja. Unfortunately, he clocked himself upside the noggin and fell headfirst into a toilet. But, it still counted considering he didn't run away.

A sumo was charging at Heather, who had crouched and covered her head. Amazingly, the sumo tripped over her and bounced off into the horizon.

Leshawna ran away from Chef, who was wearing a spider costume.

DJ had won his challenge by picking up a garden snake on his index finger. Somehow the snake blinked.

"Uh, I don't think it's supposed to do that. Snakes don't have eyelids." Aaron pointed out with a raised eyebrow.

Then Bridgette was sent into the woods for 6 hours to conquer her fear.

Meanwhile, Gwen was put in a Plexiglas box and buried.

"Don't worry. There's enough air in there for an hour. You only need to last five minutes."

"As long as we decide to dig you up." Chris joked.

"Not funny, Chris." Gwen snapped.

"Geez...take a pill."

"I'll be listening the entire time. Just yell for me when you panic, and I'll dig you right up." Trent said as he gave Gwen a walkie-talkie.

"Goodbye, cruel world." With that, the hole was shut.

Cody was out in the woods with a trash.

"Alright, dude, you have 10 minutes to defuse this trash bomb." Chris said, walking off.

"But aren't you gonna stay and watch?" Cody asked him.

"No way, man. That's a live bomb!"

The scene then changed to Aaron who was standing across from Renda. Renda had a Chi Bunshin transform into Anko, and he held a knife at 'her' throat.

"Remember man, if you cry even one tear, you lose this one." Chris reminded the elf. Aaron nodded. Nodding to Renda, the klepto slid the knife across "Anko"'s neck, making blood squirt out as "she" fell to the ground. Aaron clenched his fists tightly, and squinted his eyes. HARD. Chris was holding up a stopwatch. Aaron had to go about thirty more seconds without crying to win this point.

"And...time's up!" Aaron opened his eyes and unclenched his fists. He then turned to Chris.

"If you ever make me do that again, I swear on my honor that you will die, and it will be very slow and VERY painful. Got that?" Chris nodded his head with wide eyes. Aaron then walked off, grumbling and preparing to make a shitload of KBs. It was time to vent.

Unseen, Akahana trailed behind him, wanting to make sure the elf was okay.

**In the Forest**

Aaron was currently surrounded by 100 KBs, all of which were strengthened with extra chakra, so as to last longer. They were also henged to look like Renda. The elf grabbed the nearest one, let out a roar, and began beating the shit out of it.

("..." means that Aaron is punching in the next sentence)

"You...stupid...fucking...bastard! I...fucking...hate...you!" Let out another yell, Aaron threw the clone into the air and made a Raikiri. When it came back down, he stabbed the clone in its stomach, and it dispelled.

"Who's next?" He shouted. Akahana had managed to find him, and ran up to hug him.

"Aaron-kun, please calm down! I hate to see you like this!" The elf sighed after a moment, letting his rage out, and hugged her back.

"I'm sorry Aka-chan. It's just...I was forced to watch something that looked like Anko die right in front of my eyes...It made me think back to 12 years ago, when all that stuff with the Ageul and Pein's attack happened...I lost her one time, and I almost did another time...It just really pains my heart..." Aaron then sat down on a log.

"It's okay, honey. Just relax. It's alright." Akahana whispered sweet nothings into his ears. After a minute or so, Aaron spoke up again.

"Hey, Aka-chan..."

"Yes?"

"Mind if I vent just one more time?"

"That's fine with me. Just let it out." Aaron nodded, and got up. He then flipped through four hand signs.

"**Chidori no Arashi!** (Storm of the One Thousand Birds)**!**" Storm clouds gathered in the air, and lightning struck Aaron's arm. From there, a thousand sparking, electric blue sparrows flew and struck the clones before all exploding in a great bright light.

**Elsewhere**

Cody was about to actually cut the right wire on the trash bomb with ten seconds to go when the he was blinded. The moment his vision was returned, there was one second left.

**Back with the campers**

They were all blinded by the intense light. When everyone could see again, Duncan asked,

"What the heck was that?"

"I think it came from the woods."

"Let's go check." Everyone ran off in the direction the light came from. At the same time, Cody's trash bomb exploded, covering the nerd in garbage.

**With Aaron and Akahana**

The campers arrived to see about the clearing covered in ash and burnt to the ground. Aaron was standing in the middle of it, his back to them, with Akahana putting a hand on his back. He then turned around, a cheerful smile on his face, and his hand forming a peace sign.

"Yo."

They all let their jaws drop. Chris got a bit pissed though.

"Hey, whod'ya think's gonna have to clean all this up?" Aaron rolled his eyes.

"Turn around." He said, making a spinning motion with his finger.

"What?"

"Turn around."

"Why would we—"

"**Turn the fuck around now!**" Akahana barked in a demonic voice. Everyone froze up and immediately spun on their heels. All they heard was a faint whisper of "_Chikeiton..._" (Terrain Release) The rest they couldn't hear.

"Ok, you can look."

When the campers and the host turned, they did not expect to see what they saw. What they did see, however, brought only one word to mind: Upgrade.

The clearing was now a section of forest, with its own natural HOT SPRING. Stone dragons jutted out from a smooth, sheetrock surface, spouting jets of water from their snouts. If that wasn't enough, the water naturally irrigated the plants, and also filtered itself. Aaron picked up his sword and walked back to the cabin with Akahana, saying,

"See ya'll." But suddenly, everything began to waver. Then it was all black. Only Aaron was standing in the blackness, looking around.

"Renda, what the hell is going on?"

"No more games...You have gotten too powerful...It is time for you to die..." Came the voice of Renda from all around Aaron. Suddenly, the darkness shattered like glass, and Aaron was back on Ra'drith, standing before his and Renda's armies, with the darkness god himself across from him.

"You will not do anymore challenges, Illyon...It is time for this to end." For once, Renda was not talking in a lackadaisical voice. He was deadly serious, no pun intended.

"I believe it is, Renda." Aaron replied.

"Who knows how this will end? Maybe you'll find the so-called 'Peace' you've been looking for all eternity."

"Maybe I will, Renda. But one thing is certain..." Aaron grabbed the handle of Shinriken, pulled it out, and gave it twirl, holding the sword downwards at his side.

"Only one of us will leave here alive." The two stared each other down after Renda took hold of his own blade. Suddenly, both elves blurred out of vision and reappeared in the middle of the space that had previously been between them, blades clashing together. The two disappeared and reappeared all over the battlefield.

"Their speed...it's unreal..." Minato murmured. Seeing as he used to be the fastest person in the Elemental Nations, that was quite remarkable. The two then reappeared across from each other in their original positions, and Aaron quickly closed the gap between the two. The light god raised his sword and began swinging at Renda, who skillfully dodged each of the strikes. The orange-haired elf then elbowed Aaron in the stomach, causing the good elf to double over. Renda raised his arm, and shot a massive wave of dark energy from his palm. The blast hit Aaron full on, causing an explosion.

Aaron tumbled out of the blast, smoking trailing off him as he tumbled across the ground, sliding to halt in a crouched position with his right hand on the ground. Getting back up, he gritted his teeth.

"Dammit...I didn't think he would be that strong..." Aaron muttered. Renda took this moment to close the gap, and launch a punch.

_THUMP!_

The fist was caught in Aaron's hand. Aaron landed a kick to Renda's face, followed by a right hook which sent him flying. He warped himself to right above Renda's arc, and pulled a reverse haymaker that sent Renda into the ground. The carrot top pulled himself out of the rubble and wiped blood from his mouth.

"You're good, but not enough, Illyon..." Renda then shimmered out of existence, and Aaron heard flames coming from behind him. Not having enough time to warp, he crossed his arms to shield from the blow. The flames cleared to show that Aaron had burns all over his skin. Renda then immediately appeared in front of Aaron and swung, to which the ravenette ducked under and threw and uppercut. He then pulled a roundhouse kick to Renda's face, sending the him flying. Immediately, Aaron launched a massive beam of energy from his hands that collided with Renda's stunned form. Renda was launched out of the explosion and into air.

"Heh...you're very good Illyon...but as I've said...you're not good enough..." Renda fully stood himself up in the air with a dark smirk imprinted upon his face.

"You've never been good enough...Remember? Twelve years ago? Your beloved died in front of your eyes...and all because you didn't react quick enough..." Aaron suddenly froze. His vision was filled with images of Anko's death. Her eyes were lifeless...a small streak of blood dripped from her mouth...a pained smile was the only image on her face. His pupils began to dilate in fear.

"It's quite like the time when we were merely gods, not reincarnated...At the battle where you first died...You lost your beloved there as well...Didn't you?" Aaron was still frozen, that scared, helpless look upon his face.

"Dad..." Kinu whispered in shock, worried for her father.

"You weren't good enough...and you never will be...It is your place to die at the hands of those stronger. You are weak, and the weak must crushed like the worthless insects they are." Tears began to stream down Aaron's face.

"What is he doing? Why isn't Dad attacking?" Te-ru yelled.

"You were once a proud warrior, Illyon...You were the strongest in existence...None could fell you, and all who tried were vanquished with ease...I once saw a mighty, powerful fighter in your eyes...But now...all I see is a weak, spineless, pitiful shell of your former self...Your emotions have made you weak, and that will be your undoing...Give up, Illyon...You can't win..." Aaron's hands began to shake, and he could only stare into space as everyone looked with horrified eyes.

'_Can I actually win this? I've been fighting it for so long, but now it seems impossible..._'

"WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU DAD? STOP BEING A PUSSY AND FIGHT HIM!" Kagi suddenly yelled, shocking everyone.

"YOU ARE THE STRONGEST PERSON I KNOW OF, AND YOU'VE NEVER GIVEN UP IN YOUR ENTIRE LIFE! WHY WOULD YOU DO IT NOW! FIGHT HIM!" Kagi turned to his siblings.

"C'mon guys, we've gotta help Dad!" The other three nodded, and began jumping from tree to tree, into the air above.

"Take this you bastard!" Te-ru yelled. Renda glanced at him out of the corner of his eye before batting the hanyou away. Kagi then came at him, but was given a kick to the stomach that sent him to the ground below. Then it was Kinu, but she received an elbow strike to the ribs and was slammed onto the grass. Finally Kuro attacked, but he was quickly dispatched with a kick to the ribs and a punch that broke his collarbone.

"Is this all that the children of a god can do?...Pitiful..." Renda sneered. He dropped the ground below, and prepared to vaporize each of them with a single energy blast. Suddenly, Aaron's eyes came back into focus.

'_What...Kinu? Kuro? Kagi? Te-ru? My kids...MY KIDS!_' A snarl appeared on Aaron's face. His four children were right beside each other, prepared to die together.

"Well, guys...I...I guess this is it..." Kagi said.

"Yeah...it's been nice knowing you guys...You are the best siblings a kid could have..."Kuro said with tears in his eyes.

"At least...it's about to end..." Kinu told them with a sad smile. A fully charged, black orb of energy was in front of Renda's palm.

"This is it, children of Illyon...Prepare to DIE!" Just as the blast was about to fire, a shout was heard.

"GET AWAY FROM MY CHILDREN, YOU BASTARD!" A fist connected with Renda's face, causing the darkness god to fall, and the blast to strike far away from them.

'_Dad!_' The four thought in unison.

"Well, well, well...It seems you've finally come to your senses and decided to die with your precious universe..." Renda said as he got up off the ground.

"I already hated you the moment you decided to try and do this, Renda...but the moment you laid a hand on any of my children, it got personal...For that...I will make sure to end your life..."

"Go ahead and try…We both know you can't, you spineless fool...You and your bastard children will die...As will your whores and the entire universe..." The air suddenly grew thick with malice. There were three major things you never did around Aaron: One, call Aaron a fool. Two, insult his children. And three, insult his wives. Unfortunately, Renda did all three.

A spike of hatred ran throughout Aaron's body. The power was so great that the entire universe felt it.

"You have just signed your own death warrant...Now, what was it you said about me being _weak_?" Aaron asked as he let a malicious smirk grow on his face.

**Cue music: Super Saiyan 3 Theme (Including Goku's Scream( Youtube it))**

He immediately settled into a stance and closed his eyes. A pulsating glowthen appeared around him. Intricate markings appeared on his arms and legs, and his hair grew a mix of black and gold. All of a sudden, the air became dense with his power. Aaron's hair began to whip around as a result of the power he was outputting. Two golden dragon wings of light emerged from Aaron's shoulders. Seeing the power that Aaron had, Renda actually became afraid, and for one reason; Shit just got real.

"I'm not going to let you take any chances!" He shouted in hysteria. Renda gathered energy in his hands and began to make a beam. Aaron's eyes then opened to reveal that his irises had turned gold and red, lost their yin-yang shape, and had a silver pupil that looked like a curving triangle.

"Hmph." Aaron gathered his own beam and both let theirs blast at the same time. Pale yellow struggled to push dark black backwards.

'_Fuck! I'm still not strong enough..._' He thought. His four kids had all been healed, and had seen the condition this fight was in.

"C'mon guys! We got one last shot!" Kinu shouted. The three boys nodded, and they leapt to form a square around Aaron.

"What are you four doing here?" Aaron asked.

"We're gonna help you win this, Dad." Kuro responded. The four slammed their blades point-first into the ground, causing red, blue, grey, and black markings to appear around Te-ru, Kagi, Kinu, and Kuro, respectively. The squares all connected to a golden one around Aaron which began glowing. Suddenly, Aaron's power was boosted to strengthen his blast. The yellow beam began pushing back Renda's own.

"No! NO! I WILL NOT DIE! I CANNOT BE DEFEATED!" Renda wailed. Aaron grit his teeth.

'_Just one...more...push..._'

"He still needs more power!" Anko exclaimed. Aaron's four wives then leapt in and began transferring their own powers to Aaron. His blast grew, and quickly consumed Renda's.

"NO! THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING! I WON'T DIE!" The blast then hit Renda, and caused a massive explosion. Aaron let down his blast, and leapt over to where the darkness god was.

All that was left was a piece of obsidian glass. Aaron picked it up, and a voice whispered in his ear.

"_You can't defeat me...As long as there is darkness in the universe...I will exist..._"

Aaron scowled and threw the piece on the ground. A wispy image of Renda began appearing from it.

"_I will not die!_" It hissed, leaping at him. Aaron jumped back as the wisp formed the real Renda, only weakened.

"_I will always remain to consume the purity of all, until none exists...On that day, I WILL KILL YOU!_" Renda leapt at Aaron, only for the light god to dodge.

"Renda...you are corrupt and blind...One day, I _will_ achieve peace...And all will be pure..."

"_Nothing can be pure! Even one who is pure as the driven snow will eventually fall to temptation! There is no such thing as PEACE!_"

"There is...and I will find it...starting today..." Aaron created a broadsword of light, while Renda made a giant axe. Both of them raced toward one another and leapt in the air.

**BOOM!**

The explosion cleared after a few minutes to reveal Aaron and Renda both standing there, wheezing. But Renda had the broadsword in his chest. The darkness god fell to the ground, green blood oozing from his corrupt heart.

"And so it ends..." Aaron said just before he fell unconscious.

**As Aaron said, "And so it ends"! Tune in next chapter for the epilogue of COFB!**

**This is Jinso, signing off for now!**

**~Jinso-kun**


	24. Epilogue

**Jinso: Welcome to the Epilogue and End of Children of the Four Blades!**

**Aaron: Aw, WHAT! It's already over?**

**Jinso: I'm afraid so, my friend...**

**Aaron: Sonovabitch...**

**Jinso: Yeah, I feel the same way...But I have some important news before we start this final chapter!**

**First of all, I will be putting 'When My Imagination Dies' on temporary hiatus. This is so I can get another story in and get the juices flowing again. I recently gotten a shitty case of writer's block, and I'm trying to find a solution. Until then, I cannot do my drabble-fic. I'm NOT abandoning it, however! It's just on hiatus.**

**Second of all...there is some good news! The aforementioned new story I am in the process of making is going to come out soon! Expect the first chapter somewhere between two days and a week from now!**

**Here's a teaser!**

_The date was October 10__th__. The setting, Konohagakure no Sato, the Village Hidden in the Leaves. It was nine years after the attack of the mighty Kyuubi no Kitsune upon the village. The Kyuubi was one of the nine Biju, the most powerful creatures in existence. With a swing of its nine tails, it could topple cities, demolish mountains, and create raging tsunamis. Nine years ago, the Kyuubi had attacked the village, killing many a shinobi. The village's leader, the Yondaime Hokage, Minato Namikaze, and his wife, Kushina Uzumaki, had just had their only child, Naruto Uzumaki, delivered to them on that fateful day, nine years ago. As the Kyuubi descended upon the village, Minato Namikaze was rushing to create a plan to defeat it. Unfortunately, he could only find one solution. He had to seal the Kyuubi into his own child at the cost of his life. _

_So, Minato took his child from its mother with a somber frown. Upon making his way to the battlefield, he summoned the Shinigami, who sealed the beast into Naruto while taking Minato's soul at the same time. Thus, Naruto Uzumaki became the jinchuriki of the Kyuubi no Kitsune. Nine years from then, on this very day, Naruto was being chased by a mob, who had formed to 'finish what the Yondaime had started' and end the boy's life once and for all, thinking he was the demon itself._

_It was his scene that Kami herself was watching with a frown from up in the heavens. The boy had more assassination attempts on him in the first nine years of his life then the first generation of all the Kages put together. As she watched this happen with a sigh, Kami wished that she could do something, but it was not to her jurisdiction. She had to receive permission from the only deity higher than herself. Opposite to what many people thought, Kami was actually not the highest deity in existence. There was only one above her, and he was the one who had created time, space, and even life itself. This deity was the one who gave permission to every god and goddess for their jobs when they had to do them, and only intervened when he found it necessary. Kami sighed again as she wished she could help the young blonde. Fortunately for her, the chance had arrived._

"_Kami-sama, your presence is requested by the High Lord." A meek voice spoke. She turned to see one of the High Lord's angel messengers facing her._

"_Tell him I will there right away." She told the angel. It nodded, and disappeared. Almost immediately after, Kami did so as well._

_She reappeared inside a white and gold courtroom which had marble statues of all the deities beside each pillar that held it up._

"_Come forth, Kami. I wish to see you." A deep voice rang out. Kami walked through a pair of massive doors, and entered a room where only one individual sat on a throne of pure matter. This was the High Lord, the only deity above herself._

"_Yes, High Lord?" She questioned._

"_First of all, Kami-chan, I told you to stop calling me High Lord. Just calling me Jinso or Jinso-kun will do." The individual spoke with an annoyed sigh. He knew that Kami did this just to annoy him. Jinso had hair the color of dark chocolate and blue-green-grey eyes that seemed as though they were endless. Whenever he got angry, Jinso's eyes turned a mix of blood red and amber. It was an unusual combo that stunned Kami and yet, turned her on at the same time. His skin had a natural tan to it and despite not having a 'six-pack' or an 'eight-pack', his body was toned and built like an athlete. Needless to say, even Kami had to refrain from jumping him._

"_Fine, Jinso-kun." Kami replied with a 'rebellious-teenager' sigh._

"_Second, I noticed that you were watching the boy named Naruto Uzumaki."_

"_I was, sir. I just cannot believe how much pain and anguish that boy has gone through, and would do anything to make it better for him." She said. Jinso nodded._

"_That is exactly why I have called you here. For the first time in a million years, I am going to show myself to the planet once more."_

"_But sir, didn't you say you would only intervene if you saw fit?" Kami asked with an audible gasp. Jinso nodded again._

"_And I see a big reason to intervene. This boy's suffering has gone on too long. I dare say that he has a heart possibly purer than my own, as he has not turned on those wretched infidels only because there are a few people in the village that are actually precious to him." Jinso stood up out of his chair._

"_Come with me, Kami. It is time to set things straight."_

**End Summary**

**Jinso: So...whatd'ya think? And yes, I am putting myself in the story for once. I'm an author, right? The author controls what happens in the story, so essentially, all authors are of higher authority than Kami in their stories. Also, the story will be called Disciple of the Elder God, and will be out today! Ah, never mind! Let's get on with the chapter!**

COFB Chapter 23- Epilogue

Things were good. Life was good. Renda was finally dead, and was not going to reappear for 2000 more years. This was what Aaron was pondering on as he sat underneath a tree behind the Uchiha Compound, looking up at the sky.

Of course Renda was actually going to come back. That, he knew. But Aaron was fairly certain he would be ready when the time came. Besides, even if he wasn't, he knew his descendants were going to be. So our hero laid there underneath that tree, looking up at the clear blue sky. And thus, he thought about all that was going on right now.

Naruto had the CRA enforced on him, but the blonde was ready, of course. He already had set woman, who he loved, and who loved him, that were going to be his wives. Naruto had picked Hinata, Kyuubi, Yugito from Kumo, who had transferred to Konoha a year ago, and another girl from Kumo, Samui, who also transferred from Kumo. Both Kumo kunoichi had fallen in love with Naruto after Aaron had showed Samui the blonde's past, and after Naruto and Yugito shared their experiences over a romantic dinner, set up by the elf, of course.

Aaron chuckled at that. It seemed he was quite the matchmaker, indeed. Then he turned his thoughts to what Renda had said before they fought. Peace...It was something that every person struggled to find in their lives, and Aaron was no exception. But he knew that one day—and he didn't know exactly when—but one day, he would find peace.

Letting out a sigh, the elf settled back against the tree and let the cool air wash over him. It seemed for now, the adventure was over. But the next chapter of his tale had yet to begin...

**Thus ends the Children of the Four Blades! I hope you liked the story!**

**Don't forget to drink your milk, don't do drugs, and review this story!**

**Until the next one,**

**~Jinso-kun**

**Ja Ne!**


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